


I love you, do you not love me in return?

by TiffanyF



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Cheating, M/M, Post-Movie, ooc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-11
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2017-12-23 04:34:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 110
Words: 114,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/922046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiffanyF/pseuds/TiffanyF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I have read some absolutely fantastic pieces where Barton and Coulson are a couple and Coulson cheats on Barton with Steve Rogers. I decided I wanted to try something of my own in that vein and have been working on this for the past couple of days. There isn't much angst so far, but there probably will be in later chapters. I don't own anything Avengers related and am only playing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not fond of Captain America/Steve Rogers and I think that comes across in my fics. There is no bashing in this fic, but he does know what is going on and what he's doing.

"Sir, Agent Barton is on the roof."

Tony looked up from the monitor he was working on. "He likes to spend time up there, JARVIS, what's the big deal?"

"He's balanced rather precariously on the edge and has been drinking," JARVIS replied. "I worry that he's going to fall."

"Aw, shit," Tony muttered. "Did you let Coulson know?" He pushed back from the table and headed towards the door. Tony liked Barton, the man had a sense of snark to match his own, but he'd admit he'd noticed something off recently.

"I attempted to, Sir, but Agent Coulson has requested that I not bother him for the next hour," JARVIS said. 

"All right, I'll take care of it. Thanks, J," Tony said. "Hey, get the suit ready just in case, would you? I don't know if I'll be able to catch him, but I'll be damned if I let him die without at least trying to catch him."

"The suit is on stand-by, Sir," JARVIS said.

"Sounds good." Tony hurried out of the elevator and out onto the balcony. He looked around and finally spotted Barton up on the Iron Man landing pad. "Drunk friend, I can do this," he muttered, taking the stairs two at a time. "Want some company?"

"Not really," Barton replied.

"Well, you're making JARVIS nervous, Barton," Tony said. "Think about that one for a minute. JARVIS has seen all the crap I've pulled over the years and doesn't get nervous easily. Could you at least come back from the edge a little? That'd make him happy."

"Sure, why not?" Barton sighed. He flopped down in the middle of the landing pad and went onto his back. "Not like I've been able to do anything right lately anyway. Just one more thing I screwed up."

Tony sat down next to him and leaned forward. "You're not screwing up, Barton," he said. "Look, I know you've got wicked balance skills, but JARVIS is looking at how close you are to the edge and calculating the probability of your falling off. I'm sure you can catch yourself, you know what you're doing, but it's better not to panic the AI."

"Yeah, whatever," Barton said.

"Would talking help?" Tony asked. "Total friend confidence, never to be revealed to another. I can even tell JARVIS to stop recording for a bit if that would help. Seriously, I'm actually really good at keeping secrets. I know it's hard to tell with how much I talk, but I really can."

"As can I, Agent Barton," JARVIS added.

Barton snorted. "I'm sure you can, JARVIS," he said. "I don't know if I'm drunk enough to talk, Stark."

"I don't know if more alcohol is what you need right now," Tony said. "We could play twenty questions. Ask me anything."

"You're really trying hard at this whole friend thing, aren't you?" Barton asked, rolling his head to look at Tony.

"I'm trying," Tony replied. "I've never had a lot of friends before and it's hard. I've had Rhodey and Pepper, but they're more family than friends. You'd tell me if I did something wrong, right?"

"Yeah, I'd tell you," Barton said. He let his hand fall open, revealing a gold ring on a chain. "Haven't worn this since the honeymoon almost ten years ago. Rings and archery don't go well together, but I rarely have the chain off. Pointless now, I guess. I just can't bring myself to toss it."

"You're married?" Tony asked. "That's not in your file, Clint."

Barton grinned. "Nope, classified at such a high level the wedding license is encrypted," he said. "Only one other person knows, and you know Director Fury isn't going to say anything about it."

"Okay, so who's your spouse? It's not Romanov, is it? Because that would be really super scary."

"Not Nat. She's like my sister," Barton said. "She doesn't even know about it, and people think she knows everything, Tony. What would you say if I told you it's a guy?"

"That's cool," Tony said. "Playboy means a lot of things, you know, Clint. I've had my share of same sex encounters, I just usually prefer women. Do I know the guy? I'm not fishing, I'm just trying to work out what's going through your head right now."

"Yeah, you know him," Barton said. "Right now, unless I was seeing things, he's in bed with another guy."

Tony looked down at Barton's face. "You were in the vents again, weren't you?"

"I love the vents, Tony," Barton said. "They're quiet, which is rare enough around this madhouse we call home. I was going to pop out and surprise him when he got home. When he got home he had another guy with him and they, they."

Tony wasn't good with people crying, but he'd had practice with Pepper, so he carefully pulled Barton up into a hug. "Let it out," he whispered. "Just let it out. No one else is going to know, Clint."

"In our bed, Tony," Barton whispered.

"Oh, Clint," Tony said. "Come on, let's go inside. We can go up to my floor and no one will know you're there. JARVIS won't say a word about it. You're shaking and it's cold out here. Come on, time to warm up."

It took some situating of legs, but Tony was finally able to get Barton to his feet and moving towards the private elevator just off the landing pad. He'd put it there for the times he wanted to avoid the team, but he was glad to have it so there wouldn't be a risk of anyone seeing Barton broken down like he was. "JARVIS, get some takeout for me," he said. "Something comforting and order ice cream and chocolate sauce for dessert. Get Bruce to sign for it and bring it up to me. I don't want anyone else close to my floor until this is over with. Clint, Bruce is okay, right? He's not involved in this?"

"No, he's not," Barton said. "Thanks, Tony."

"That's what friends are for. Seriously. Come on, I don't keep alcohol up here, but you can start on water while we're waiting. JARVIS is good with food orders. Sofa or chair?"

"Sofa. Blankets?"

"Sure." Tony lowered Barton onto the sofa and went to the closet for the spare blankets he kept there. "All right, Clint, here you go. I'm not prying, but I think talking about this would help you a lot."

Barton wrapped himself up and shifted around until he was almost completely hidden in the blankets. "This doesn't go anywhere, right?" he asked.

"Between you and me until the day the world falls," Tony said. "JARVIS, encrypt this all. No access to anyone."

"Yes, Sir," JARVIS said.

"Okay, so you know how I came to SHIELD," Barton said. "Coulson's been my handler since pretty much the start because no one else would work with me. They wanted a brainless sniper, which can't happen. Snipers are smart, Tony. We have to be to be able to shoot over distance. There's a lot of math involved and, aside from that, we have a microsecond to decide to take the shot or not. Coulson realized I was having issues with orders telling me to take shots I didn't want to take and he asked Director Fury if I could be his asset. Once you're Coulson's asset, no one else touches you."

"I believe it," Tony said. He put a glass of water down near Barton's hand, or where he thought Barton's hand was, and sat down close enough to hug again if the need arose. "So you've been working with Agent for a while then."

"The only other one who took me was Fury himself, and that was rare," Barton said. "Coulson and I got close, Tony, closer than either of us were expecting to. Next Friday is our ten year anniversary. I had plans for it, missions allowing. I was actually going to ask for your help with a couple of things, but now."

"What's been going on, Clint?" Tony asked softly.

Barton's eyes welled up again. "Loki took me as his pawn and Phil was stabbed when Loki was on the Helicarrier," he said. "As soon as Fury cleared me, right after I got back up there, he told me the truth and took me to the room they were treating Phil in. I was the only one who knew the truth for weeks, and I didn't leave his side."

"So that's where you vanished to," Tony said. "Fury told us you were undergoing psych tests and evaluation to be reinstated as a full agent again after you were compromised. I guess he lied to us for the greater good that time."

"His lies are usually for the greater good, it can just be hard to tell," Barton said. "When Phil woke up, he was so weak, but he recognized me. Told me I looked like shit, but I could read the relief in his eyes. I was there, I wasn't dead, and the battle was over. That's when you guys found out he was still alive and came to visit."

"And Romanov spent an hour lecturing you on lying to the team," Tony finished. "Hang on, I think that's our food. Stay quiet, I'll be right back." He pushed up and went over to the elevator. "Hey Bruce, thanks for the help on this one."

"Everything okay, Tony?" Bruce asked.

"No, but I don't think you can help," Tony replied. "Seriously, I'll let you know though, okay?"

Bruce nodded. "Sure, no problem," he said. "Have JARVIS call me if you need me for anything. I was just reading."

"Thank you," Tony said. He took the bags and went to the small bar area to put the ice cream in the freezer there. "What'd you get for us, J?"

"Hamburgers and fries from the cafe you both enjoy," JARVIS replied. "There is a milkshake for you, Sir, and two bottles of classic Coke for Agent Barton."

"Wicked." Tony took all the food back over to the sofa and sat down again. "Unwrap a little there, Clint, and let's get you fed. I did noticed that you started acting a little odd once the team know Agent was alive."

Barton took his bag with an attempt at a smile. "I didn't care that the team knew, but I didn't have any time alone with Phil after that," he said. "No matter how hard I tried, how many hints I dropped, it didn't work. Phil wouldn't say anything, I asked him. I'm not stupid, Tony. I'm also not blind and I could see what was happening. Phil was pulling away from me, I just couldn't work out why. So, instead of hanging around his room, I took to the vents."

"You wanted to see what was happening when you weren't around," Tony said. "You're definitely a spy, Clint. Gathering intel like that is not something I'm good at. I'm more of a rush in and blast everything sort of person."

"That works for some things," Barton said. "For this though, I needed to be somewhere covert. Phil knows I like the vents, but he also knows that Fury has completely forbidden me from going into the network in any SHIELD building, so he wouldn't expect me to be in there."

"Did Fury know you were?"

"Yeah, I told him something was up with Phil and I needed to run surveillance for three days. He cleared me to go in, thinking it was residual from the attack," Barton said. He started to tear up again. "The things I heard, Tony. No one should hear their spouse say those sorts of things. Or not defend when someone else is saying them."

Tony put the pieces together. "Oh, shit," he said. "JARVIS, where Steve right now?"

"Sir, I do not believe that now is the time to talk about that," JARVIS said.

"No, it's okay, JARVIS," Barton sighed. "I know exactly where he is. He's in my bed with my husband."


	2. Chapter 2

Tony normally didn't look at the recordings from the personal floors, but he made a note to save the recent footage from the floor Barton and Coulson shared to a separate location. "JARIVS, is this why Coulson said he didn't want to be disturbed for an hour?" he demanded.

"Yes, Sir," JARVIS replied. 

"That, that," Tony trailed off and took a deep breath. "Sorry, Clint, it's anger for you not at you."

Barton snorted. "I know, Tony," he said. "Today just confirmed all my fears. When Phil forgot my birthday, I thought it was because he was still recovering and wrote it off as stress from the stab and trying to get back into shape."

"Your birthday? When was your birthday? No one said anything about a birthday," Tony said. "Please tell me you didn't spend the day alone thinking no one cared."

"I spent the day in the vents," Barton said. "You have nice vents in this building, Tony. I've been in a lot of networks and this is the first one I've enjoyed so much. I was watching my room and Phil never came home that night. I checked with SHIELD medical and he wasn't there, so I don't know where he was, but it wasn't here or at work." He looked down at the hamburger. "Rogers doesn't like me, Tony. He trusted me in battle because Nat vouched for me, but he thinks I'm weak. He thinks that I let Loki take me over so I could get revenge on SHIELD for some reason. That it's my fault Phil was stabbed and is having to go through everything he is."

"Okay, first of all, that's bullshit," Tony said. "Totally and if I ever hear anyone say something like that about you, I'm going to hit them. I saw the video footage when Loki first showed up, Clint, and you were fighting from the moment he touched you. Look, you're a sniper. You're the best shot SHIELD has, right? And you hit Fury in the vest and missed Hill completely? Yeah, no, doesn't happen. You did that on purpose. You battled every second you were under the spell and everything you did on the Helicarrier helped give me time to fix it. That alone tells me how strong and brave you are and Rogers is full of himself."

Barton almost managed a smile. "He's right about it being my fault Phil was stabbed though," he said. "I led the distraction team so Loki could get loose and cause as much damage as possible, splitting up the team before he left."

"Clint, did you know that Agent would go down there and try to take Loki on alone?" Tony asked. "I mean, seriously, was that ever something you thought he would do?"

"I don't know."

"He shouldn't have been down there without back-up, but what we all forgot was what Loki is," Tony said. "Think about the legends around him. What's his title? The trickster god. That little bastard fooled us all and we all walked right into his trap. He's the only one that's to blame for any of this, Clint. Agent was doing his job, but he miscalculated and he's alive. He's got a second chance at life now, and you were the perfect husband. At his side for every step of his recovery."

"Not every step, he kicked me out," Barton said. "I haven't been with him since about a week after the team found out he was alive. I don't even know why, but the doctor in charge of his case said that Phil changed his paperwork and I wasn't allowed in with him anymore for physical therapy."

"So you took to the vents again," Tony said. "What did Fury have to say about all of this?"

"He said he'd talk to Phil for me if I wanted him to, but I didn't want to bring the director into the middle of a domestic problem," Barton said. "Fury gave me free reign of the vents for three months with a reassess of the situation after that. I think he thinks there's still some staff energy in Phil and that's why he's acting like this."

"But you don't?"

"I know my husband," Barton said softly. "As oddly as he's behaving, it's him. There's no staff energy in there, no traces of Loki controlling him and making him cheat on me. I deploy tomorrow on a top secret op for Fury. I guess it's just all too much because I'm going to be leaving Phil behind and I know he's only going to drift farther away from me. Can I sleep on your sofa, Tony? I don't want to be near the floor and I can't sleep in a vent the night before an op for Fury. I'm going to have to be on my toes for this one."

Tony nodded. "Sure, I'll be down in the lab most of the night anyway," he said. "You get some sleep and come find me before you leave tomorrow. You're not going on a super-secret spy mission without a hug from your friend, Clint. This stays strictly between us."

"Thanks, Tony," Barton said. He held out the chain with the ring on it. "Would you keep this safe for me? I can't risk it on an op like this and I don't have anywhere else to put it."

"I'd be honored," Tony said. He took the chain and fastened it around his neck. "I won't take it off until I can give it back to you. Then, if you want, we can work out something fun to do with it. I think Agent will come around, Clint. The question you have to ask is, can you forgive him for what he's done."

"I don't know," Clint said. "I'll have to think about it when I get home. Tony, I've got to get right in the head for the op. Thanks for all of this."

"Friends, Hawkeye," Tony grinned. "Find me tomorrow. Hug, remember? Also, I don't know if he'd allow it, but given how things have been going, could you have Nick tell me how you're doing? Not anything about the op, just if you're okay?"

Barton nodded. "I'll ask him," he said. "Thanks, Tony. I'll see you tomorrow."  
****  
When Tony got back down to the lab he locked the doors and sank down on his stool with a sigh. "Did you know about any of this, J?" he asked.

"I had detected Agent Barton's presence in the vents, Sir, but he never did anything to harm them nor try and hurt anyone living here, so I let it be," JARVIS replied. "I noticed that Captain Rogers and Agent Coulson were spending more time together, arriving at the Tower in the same car, but I hadn't realized that Agents Coulson and Barton were married."

"How far back do you have recordings from that floor, JARVIS?" Tony asked. He pushed backwards and spun when he was close to his computer table. "I don't want to watch anything, I'd probably be sick after seeing how broken Clint is about all of this, but I want to start up a file on this. See if you can find Coulson's paperwork from SHIELD medical too. All of it, let's see what the doctors have to say about his recovery."

"Sir, there is a risk that Director Fury will be notified of my working in the SHIELD computer network and get in touch."

"Good, then I can tell him that he needs to be paying more attention to his people and less worrying about alien influence," Tony said. "I promised Clint I wouldn't tell anyone about this, but that doesn't mean I can't tell Fury I'm worried about my team. One more thing, JARVIS. Anyone asks where Clint is, we know nothing. I don't want Coulson or Rogers knowing that he's been talking to us."

"Yes, Sir," JARVIS said.

"All righty, let's get to work then. I want to know everything, JARVIS. Any little clue that could help work out what the hell Coulson is thinking cheating on his husband like this," Tony said. "I'm scared that Clint's going to do something stupid on the op."

"All we can do is hope that he doesn't," JARVIS said.

"Yeah, don't know if that'll be enough," Tony sighed. "JARVIS, start up the fabrication units on that newest suit. I want to be able to get to wherever Clint is quickly."

"A good idea, Sir, I'll start on that immediately. I'm also into the SHIELD network and am searching for the medical paperwork in question."

"Nice work, now, let's see what we can find," Tony said. He focused on his task, but one part of his mind was on the sniper up in the penthouse. Tony knew he wouldn't be able to shake the worry until Barton was home from the op.


	3. Chapter 3

Tony finally emerged from his lab midday, he'd seen Barton off and then gone back to work, and went right for the kitchen and the coffee maker. He'd had one phone call from Fury the night before, but had actually gotten permission to keep going with what he was doing when he said he was worried about Hawkeye and Coulson. Fury, before he'd hung up, admitted he was worried too, but told Tony never to repeat that to anyone.

"Since when do you wear jewelry, Stark?" Natasha asked from the breakfast bar.

"I wear it every so often," Tony replied. "JARVIS, did I leave the ice cream upstairs in my freezer?"

"Yes, Sir," JARVIS replied. "May I remind you that ice cream is not good breakfast food?"

"It's afternoon, it's not breakfast," Tony said. He picked up his mug and started towards the elevator. "Ack!"

"Tony, that's not your necklace," Coulson said, letting go of the t-shirt.

"I don't know what you mean, Agent," Tony said, turning around. 

Coulson stepped in closer and pulled the chain out from under Tony's shirt. "This is Barton's," he said. "He always gives it to me to take care of when he's on a mission. Why do you have it? Where's Barton?"

"He gave it to me and no idea," Tony said. "We done? I have ice cream calling my name."

"Let me have it, Tony," Coulson said.

"Nope, I promised Barton I'd keep it safe for him, that's what I'm going to do," Tony said. He started back towards the elevator again, not surprised when Coulson followed him. "Did I invite you to ice cream, Agent?"

"JARVIS, where's Agent Barton?" Coulson asked.

"I'm afraid that I do not know, Agent Coulson," JARVIS replied.

Coulson sighed. "You guys can quit playing dumb with me. Tony, you have the ring that he never takes off for anything unless he's on a special mission," he said. "All I have to do is call the director and he'll tell me."

"Then you'd better get on the phone because I have no clue what you're talking about," Tony said. He stepped out into his penthouse and went right for the freezer and the ice cream he'd meant to share with Barton the night before. "JARVIS, where did I put the chocolate sauce?"

"I believe it is by the sofa, Sir," JARVIS replied.

"Thanks, JARVIS," Tony said. "Agent, you're here, would you like some ice cream? Never let it be said I don't know how to be nice and share things."

"I just want to know where Agent Barton is," Coulson said.

Tony looked over. "You're his handler, Coulson," he said. "It seems to me you should know where he is."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Coulson demanded.

"Just an observation. No ice cream?"

Coulson stormed back to the elevator and left. Tony sighed. "That wasn't fun, J."

"I agree, Sir," JARVIS said. "Do you wish me to track his movements?"

"Yeah, do that. Let's see where he goes and what he does. If he makes a call, tap into it," Tony said. 

"Sir."

Tony took his ice cream out onto his personal balcony and locked the door behind him. He had liked Agent Coulson before everything he'd heard the night before and now he didn't know what he thought. JARVIS had confirmed that Steve Rogers spent more time with Coulson than anyone else on the team and there was four days a week when Coulson requested an hour's isolation. Tony wouldn't have thought anything of it, but Rogers always vanished at the same time and the review JARVIS ran of Coulson's floor showed they were there together in the bed that Coulson usually shared with Barton. Tony had taken a look through the cameras and it was obvious that it was shared space, there were books and artwork that obviously belonged to two different people. It had been a bit harder to see, but both Coulson and Barton had clothes in the closet and the two nightstands were obviously used by different people. That meant that either Steve Rogers was very blind, or he knew that Coulson was involved with Barton and just didn't care.

"Sir, I have the paperwork from SHIELD medical," JARVIS said. "I believe that Director Fury sent some additional information over as well."

"Route it to my tablet, J," Tony said. "What's Agent up to?"

"He called Director Fury and then left the building with Captain Rogers, Sir," JARVIS said. "I am unsure where they have gone."

"I'm sure we'll hear about it if it's something we need to know about," Tony said. He pulled the paperwork up using his left hand, so he didn't have to put his spoon down. "Anything stand out in these files?"

"There were two things which I found unusual," JARVIS said. "One is that Captain Rogers spoke with the doctors prior to Agent Barton losing access to his husband. The second is that Agent Coulson is never on record as saying he wants to be isolated from Agent Barton, but he is also never on record questioning where his husband is, Sir."

Tony sighed. "So it's possible that someone is playing a game in here, JARVIS," he said. "I think it's time to see how far this good will of the director's goes. Let's see if we can get him to give us access to the video from Agent's room in medical."

"I shall see what I can do, Sir," JARVIS said. "Sir, do you think that Agent Coulson is going to figure out that Agent Barton has told us what has happened?"

"Wish I knew, J. All we can do is be there for Clint when he comes home and support him in whatever decision he wants to make," Tony said. "Now that doesn't mean I wouldn't like to punch both Coulson and Rogers in the nose for what they're doing, but I won't. Not unless I have permission from Clint to do it."

"Director Fury, Sir."

"Stark, you want to tell me exactly what the hell is going on down there?" Fury demanded. "I just got off the phone with Agent Coulson and he says that you have a necklace that Barton never takes off unless it's to give to Coulson to keep safe."

"Nick, I can't," Tony said with a sigh. "I promised Clint that whatever he told me last night would stay between him and me and I would never breathe a word of it to anyone else. Yeah, I have the necklace with his wedding ring on it. Clint asked me to hang onto it this time while he was out on the op for you."

Fury was quiet for a minute. "He told you about that?" he asked softly.

"He did. He also told me you're the only other one who knows," Tony replied. "Nick, I wasn't lying. I'm worried. Clint told me a bunch of stuff last night that I hadn't noticed on my own, but I'm slowly putting the pieces together. I don't like the picture I'm getting."

"Stark, Tony, I didn't like how Barton looked when he showed this morning, but he insisted he was fine to go," Fury said. "I believed him. Do you have reason to believe I shouldn't have?"

"I found him drunk on my landing pad last night, but he wasn't falling down drunk," Tony said. "Scale of one to ten, with ten being passed out cold and worried about alcohol poisoning, he was maybe a one and a half. I think he probably just didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Now, I've been looking over the paperwork you sent along and I don't like some of what I'm seeing here. Nick, did you know that Coulson cut Clint off completely from him in medical?"

"I was notified, yes," Fury said. "The doctors were worried that it was a change in behavior, but I talked with Phil about it and he said that he needed some space to recover and he felt like he was being smothered by Barton's presence."

Tony laughed, startling himself at how bitter it sounded. "He was being smothered when his husband blames himself for Agent being there," he said. "Right, I can see that. I suppose talking about it never occurred to Coulson."

"I don't know, Phil wouldn't talk with me about it," Fury said. "Tony, will you tell me if I guess something correctly?"

"Only if it's something you legitimately guess and not try to get me to tell you."

"Coulson's cheating on Barton."

"Yeah."

"Well shit, I'd hoped I was wrong," Fury said with a sigh. "Do you think it would help it I tried to talk with Phil about it?"

"I don't know, I really don't," Tony said. "Clint knows everything that's been going on, Nick. That's why he was up the vent networks like he was. There's more going on than I can say, I promised, but I think that Agent might only listen to Barton. And that's only if he can remember that Clint is actually alive for more than five minutes at a time."

Fury sighed. "That's why you're trying to get access to the cameras in Coulson's hospital room. You want to see what all happened while he was there."

"Fresh eyes, Nick. I know more than you do about things. I might see something you didn't."

"All right, I'll send it over," Fury said. "There's a lot of it. Coulson was in medical for months."

"I know, but JARVIS and I can get through it together," Tony said. "It'll give me something to do while I'm waiting for Clint to come home again. Did he ask you to keep me updated on his status? I don't want details, I don't need to know anything other than if he's in touch with you and that he's okay."

"Normally, given the nature of the op, I wouldn't, but these are special circumstances," Fury said. "I'll keep you updated on a daily basis. You know their anniversary is in less than a week?"

"Friday. Any chance Clint will be home?"

"I don't know, it depends on what happens in the field, but he could be. I'll get you the video, Stark. Keep me updated on how your search goes, will you?"

"Yeah. I'll have JARVIS send updates for you," Tony said. "That way it won't look suspicious to anyone else in the Tower that I'm suddenly talking with you a lot."

"That sounds like a plan," Fury said. "Tony, don't listen to what anyone else says about you. You've got a heart, you just keep it too well hidden most of the time."

Tony's lips curled up in a little half-smile. "I do that on purpose, Nick," he said. "I'll be in touch."


	4. Chapter 4

Tony spent the next four days compiling information from Coulson's hospital room, the reports from the doctors, footage from his Tower and finally had a package ready to go to Fury. He knew what he was doing was borderline, but he hadn't put in anything that Barton actually told him, he wasn't breaking confidences, and Fury had already guessed what was going on.

"Stark."

He looked up when the doors to the lab opened and Fury walked in, followed by Coulson. "Nick, how's it going?" he asked. "I don't think I've ever seen you out without your coat on. You look different without your leather coat of doom on. Agent, what do you need?"

"I want to know what's going on, Stark," Coulson said. "Director Fury won't tell me anything other than Barton is on an eye-only op and he'll be back when it's over. You have Barton's necklace and won't give it to me. I want some answers."

"JARVIS, lock down the lab," Fury said. "Please, and include the vents. I don't want to risk anything I'm about to say leaving this room."

"Yes, Sir, Director Fury," JARVIS said. 

Coulson went pale at the mention of the word vents and sat down on one of the stools Tony had around the lab. "There's vent access in the Tower?" he asked.

"Of course there is," Tony replied. "I read the reports Nick prepared for me and when I see that one of my new team likes to hide in vent networks and has mounted successful attacks from there, I'm going to open the vents up to allow for a tactical advantage that no one is going to be expecting. That's not to say that I don't have a few surprises of my own in there, but a master assassin coming out of there shooting is a pretty big surprise all on its own, don't you think?"

"But not on the personal floors, just the common areas and around your labs," Coulson said.

"Why would I limit it? I trust Barton to use common sense when it comes to crawling around in there," Tony said. He picked up a tablet. "Nick, here's that project I was working on for you. I was just finishing up when you two came to see me."

Fury nodded and took the tablet. "Thank you for compiling all the data for me, Stark," he said. "Now, I'm afraid I have some worrying news for you. Tony, Agent Barton missed check-in this morning."

"Barton's off-comms?" Coulson asked. "Wait, Nick, why are you telling Tony and not me?"

"Agent Barton specifically requested I keep Tony updated on his status while in the field," Fury said. "Phil, you know better than anyone that Clint Barton is not stupid. I wouldn't use him for the cases I do if he was. He has eyes and he sees everything. So when he came to me and requested three days permission to use the vent network at HQ and on the Helicarrier because he was worried something was wrong with you, I gave permission. I knew that he wouldn't ask if he didn't have a firm reason for doing so."

"He's been back in the vents?" Coulson asked.

"For several months at my request. I was getting concerned that there was still some staff energy in you, Phil, because you're not acting right," Fury replied. "That's the project Tony's been working on for me. Compilation of data on you."

Tony pulled up a chart and flicked it up into the air. "The problems started two weeks after the team learned you were awake, Agent," he said. "Then they just keep getting worse and worse. Right up until the point I found Clint Barton drunk up on the small landing pad standing close enough to the edge that it scared JARVIS."

"There isn't a problem, I'm fine," Coulson said.

"I'm sure you are," Tony said, pulling up another chart. "Especially given how much physical activity you're getting right now."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Stark, and I'm not sure I like the tone in your voice."

"Agent Coulson, stand down," Fury said. "You know damn well what we're talking about and I want to know what the hell you're thinking."

"Director Fury, I don't know what you're talking about," Coulson said.

Fury sighed. "Is that the way you want to play it, Phil?"

"Sir."

"Report back to medical, Agent Coulson," Fury said. "I want to have them run a few more checks on you while I review this information. Tony, I'll keep you updated on Barton's status."

"Let me know when I have clearance to go find him," Tony said. "Seriously, if he's in trouble, I'm going to go help him. I know one miss on the check-ins isn't cause to panic, but if he's dark much longer, I'm going over. Please tell me where he is in that case, Nick."

"We'll see," Fury said. "Come on, Phil, let's get you cleared again. I'm sure you'll want to go help track Barton down too."

"Of course I do," Coulson said. "Director, you said you were going to get the necklace for me too."

"I lied," Fury said. "Move, Agent."

Tony waited until the door was shut behind the pair before he leaned back in his chair with a sigh. "Did that seem weird to you, JARVIS?"

"It did, Sir. Agent Coulson was extremely concerned about Agent Barton's presence in the vent networks, but denies any interactions with Captain Rogers," JARVIS said. "It does not make sense that he would be concerned about the vent networks unless he was worried about what Agent Barton would see while he was in said networks."

"Yeah, that's what I'm thinking too, but then he turns around and denies everything else," Tony said. "Pull up the data we have on the cube and the staff, JARVIS. Let's see if it's possible trace amounts of energy could still be in Agent's body and maybe the power of suggestion is enough to put him right into Steve's hands."

"Do you believe that Captain Rogers is taking advantage of Agent Coulson?" JARVIS asked.

"You know what, JARVIS, I don't," Tony replied. "Because Cap is the poster boy for American values and all that crap they used to believe in back in the day. Guy doesn't have a black mark on his soul. But what if he made a comment about Clint? Voiced a concern and that concern took root in Coulson's subconscious and it all just snowballed until we're where we are now. Steve wouldn't have known that Coulson was with someone, well, unless he was blind once he got a look at the floor, but he likes Coulson a lot and it's possible they've been doing all of this without realizing there's an alien influence behind it all. Let's find out."

"Quite a hypothesis, Sir."

"Yeah, now let's see if I can prove or disprove it before Clint comes home."


	5. Chapter 5

Tony spun around on his stool with a sigh. "I can't work it out, JARVIS," he admitted. "All the readings and information we have on the cube and the staff show that the energy would dissipate with time and any sort of hypnosis or influence caused by that energy would fade out with the energy. So that means that even if there was energy still inside Agent, it should have been gone by now. Hell, running the numbers, it should have been gone before he woke up."

"SHIELD medical is reporting the same thing, Sir," JARVIS said. "All of their tests are negative and are saying that Agent Coulson is perfectly healthy, given prior events."

"So that means we've got a problem," Tony said. "Today is their anniversary and Barton is still off-comms. I know that Nick is getting worried. Hell, I'm ready to get in the suit and head wherever it was that Barton was last seen just to look around, but I don't want to risk blowing the op if Barton's on a trail and just can't get in touch."

"What are you planning to do, Sir?"

"Wish I knew, J." Tony picked up the tablet he'd been working with and headed towards the lab door. "Route me the numbers on the staff energy. I'll take another look through those and see if there's something I'm missing. I don't think there is, but maybe Bruce can help me out. He's good with numbers like this and he might see something I've missed."

"Is it wise to involve him in your investigation, Sir?" JARVIS asked.

"I dunno. I just want to have an answer, even if it's I read everything wrong and made a mistake," Tony replied. "Where is Bruce anyway? I haven't seen him for a couple of days."

"Dr. Banner is in the common area kitchen making lunch."

Tony pushed the button on the elevator and leaned back against the wall. "Would you call Nick for me, J? Reporting a negative can be just as helpful as a positive some times."

"I will see if I can reach him," JARVIS said.

"Thanks, JARVIS," Tony said. He walked out of the elevator and towards the kitchen. "Hey, Bruce, do you have a minute to take a look at some numbers for me?"

"What numbers, Tony?" Bruce asked.

"These." Tony put the tablet down on the counter with a sigh. "We're looking at Loki's staff's energy and seeing if it's possible it's lingering in the tissues of anyone it touched. So far, all I'm seeing is negatives with fast dissipation given lack of continued contact, but that's not helpful."

Bruce picked up the tablet and started to scroll through the information. "I think you're going to find that's fairly consistent with the energy from both the staff and the cube," he said. "All of our research with it, for the short time we had the cube in our possession, shows that the decay of the energy follows a very consistent and predictable curve. No matter how long anyone spent around either of them, by now, the energy will be completely gone."

"Yeah, that's what I was afraid of," Tony said. He pulled out his phone and looked at the screen. "Hang on a second, Bruce. Yeah, what's up Nick?"

"Tony, I need you and your team up on the Helicarrier immediately," Fury said. "We just learned that Barton was kidnapped and is being held in an unknown location. His kidnapper sent us something."

"Nick."

"A finger," Fury said softly. "Get the Avengers and get up here. You're cleared to go in."

"Why tell me? Why not Coulson?"

"Because he's got his damn phone turned off," Fury said. "Now, Stark."

"Right, be there in a hurry." Tony put his phone down. "Bruce, find Widow. We've been called to Assemble. Barton's in trouble."

Bruce put the tablet and his glasses down on the counter. "Meet you outside," he said.

"JARVIS, where's Coulson?" Tony asked, dreading the answer.

"Agent Coulson is in his room," JARVIS replied. "As is Captain Rogers."

Tony's mouth firmed into a thin line and he hurried back towards the elevators. "No warnings, JARVIS. No alerts. No clue that I'm coming in," he said. "This ends today. I don't care what it takes, but this ends now."

"Yes, Sir," JARVIS said softly.

Tony waited right next to the door to the elevator and stormed out when it reached the floor that Barton and Coulson shared. "Which room, J?" he asked softly.

"Master bedroom of Barton's suite," JARVIS replied.

"Right." Tony went over, took a deep breath and kicked the wooden door in. He hated to do it, Barton had requested the wooden door specifically for his bedroom, but Tony was mad enough to make a statement. He'd buy Barton a new door and put it on whatever floor the archer wanted.

"What the hell?" Steve jumped backwards and fell off the bed.

"This is how you honor your anniversary, Phil?" Tony spat, glaring at the two naked me. "Right, big show of commitment here. Plus your phone turned off, really professional. Fury called. We're getting pieces of Agent Barton being sent to us and we've been called to Assemble, but you know what. Screw you. Both of you. I'll get him back on my own and then I'll put him back together."

"Stark, calm down," Coulson said, standing up. "What do you mean we're getting pieces of Barton?"

"He's been kidnapped, that's why he's been off-comms," Tony said. His tone would have frozen water if there had been any in the rooms. "We just got a finger. God only knows what they'll send us next, but a finger is bad enough. He'll have trouble balancing his bow now, and when Fury tried to reach you, you're in here with you boy toy. Real professional there, Agent."

"Now wait a minute, Tony," Steve said, standing up. "I don't understand any of this."

"Ask Phil," Tony spat. "I'm leaving."

Coulson grabbed his shoulder. "Stark, I want a full answer from you. What is going on."

Tony couldn't help himself. He spun around and punched Coulson in the nose. "That's what's going on," he yelled. "I know the whole story, Phil. I know what you've been doing and what it's been doing to one of the best men I know. Now stop stalling me. It's possible Barton could be dead by the time I reach him. JARVIS, new suit at the launch pad."

"Yes, Sir," JARVIS said.

"Ignore the call if you want, Captain, but Bruce and Widow are ready to go," Tony said over his shoulder as he left.

"Go," Coulson managed. "I'll hook in from here."

"Phil, your nose," Steve said.

"I'll be fine, go find your team mate," Coulson said. "Fury's already going to be livid, you don't want to make him madder."

Up above, even through they knew it was technically impossible, they heard the blast of the repulsors as Iron Man took off. JARVIS had filtered it down to them.


	6. Chapter 6

"JARVIS, patch me through to Fury," Tony said as he flew over the ocean towards where the Helicarrier was at rest on the water. "Tell him I'm not coming into land and I want directions."

"Sir."

Tony was fuming. He didn't know what was going through Coulson's mind, but seeing him naked in bed with Rogers had flipped a switch in Tony's mind and he'd lashed out. The worst part of it was, he didn't know how he was going to tell Barton about it.

"Stark."

"Nick, give me a coordinate," Tony said. "If I have to be in the same jet as Rogers right now, I'm going to break something and it's probably going to be him. The team is on their way, but I can't wait. Patch me into the debrief, whatever the hell you want, but do not tell me I have to sit and make nice with Captain America right now."

Fury sighed. "They were together, weren't they?" he asked. "Damn it, today of all days."

"I know, and I punched Coulson in the nose," Tony replied. 

"Good job," Fury said. "All right, it's against my better judgement, but I'm sending JARVIS the data I have. We think we've pinpointed their hideout, the strike team is waiting for the Avengers to show up because we don't know exactly what we're dealing with. I'll handle the others. You go and get our Hawk out of trouble."

"Thanks for trusting me with this, Nick," Tony said. "I know it's not protocol, but it's important."

"I'll deny this to the day I die, but you're more concerned about Barton than anyone other than me," Fury said. "Agent Coulson is going to be lucky to get a lecture from me right now. A punch in the nose is the least of his worries."

"Location is loaded, Sir," JARVIS broke in.

"All right, let's see what this suit can do," Tony said. "Nick, Coulson's not going to be on the jet. I was spying on them and he's staying at the Tower. I don't even know if Captain America is going to be there or not."

"You get our Hawk. I'll worry about everything else."

"All right, I'll call when I've got him. Do we have medical on the ground waiting for him?"

"You've got everything you need," Fury said. "Bring him home."

"You got it, Nick." Tony watched the connection go dead and sighed. "You know, JARVIS, if I wasn't so worried about Clint and how everything was going to impact him right now, I think I would have taken Coulson on, and I'm mad enough that I might have won too."

"Sir, is it possible that Agent Coulson wishes to divorce Agent Barton and is scared to for some reason?" JARVIS asked.

Tony sighed again. "It's possible, hell, might even be probable," he said. "I still don't like the lack of information in the medical records. I want to know exactly who it was who said that Barton couldn't come back in while Coulson was there. We're hearing conflicting reports and I think the only one I can trust right now is Fury. Never thought I would be saying that sentence. How far out are we?"

"An hour at these speeds, Sir," JARVIS said. "I do not suggest moving any faster as it's possible there wouldn't be enough energy left to fight in."

"All right, an hour to get calm and centered," Tony said. "It's going to have to be enough because I'm not letting Clint know there's anything wrong until he's stronger. Patch me into the SHIELD frequencies. Let's figure out what we're going into."  
****

There was a small group of SHIELD agents waiting for Tony at the location he'd been given by Fury. He dropped into the middle of them and looked around. "Who's in charge?" he asked.

"I am, Mr. Stark."

"Jasper, good to see you," Tony said. He took off his helmet and looked around. "Are we ready to go in? What's the situation inside this mountain fortress?"

"Agent Barton is definitely inside," Sitwell said. "His tracker is online and working. I thought we were getting the full team."

"They're on their way, but Fury gave me the okay to come ahead and get Barton out," Tony said. "You guys get to work cleanup and take care of these guys."

Sitwell nodded. "Medical is about an hour due south of us, they're out on the water and are waiting for Agent Barton's arrival," he said. "We don't know what all is in there, Mr. Stark."

Tony grinned. "Guess we should find out then, shouldn't we?" he asked. He put his helmet back on. "JARVIS, lock onto Clint's tracker and let's get him out of here."

"Locked on, Sir," JARVIS said.

"All right, see you later, Jasper," Tony said. He took to the air again and went up to study the fortress from the air. "Put me onto Sitwell's comm."

"Connected, Sir."

"Sitwell, I'm seeing nothing in the courtyard to indicate weapons or other sorts of armaments," Tony said, moving into a different position. "They've got people watching from the towers and they've got some pretty big ass guns, but nothing we haven't seen before. Do we know what group we're dealing with here?"

"They haven't said," Sitwell replied. "Do you see Barton?"

"He's underground, probably in whatever sort of dungeon they have here," Tony said. "Okay, I'm going in. Let's see what happens here." He dove towards the courtyard and launched a few missiles at the towers with a grim smile. "JARVIS, we're taking out as many people as we can to make it easier on the team to get in here." He flew through the door and twisted quickly to avoid an archway. "Get me a layout of this place."

"Sir."

Tony made it a point not to shoot at anyone who wasn't shooting at him, but that didn't mean he couldn't take a few of the kidnappers out. He had a lot of dirty tricks in his suits, and sleeping gas was only one of them. "Got it, going in," he said as he blasted down a narrow stairway.

"How many men are you seeing, Iron Man?" Sitwell asked.

"Fifty so far, I knocked most of them out," Tony replied. "Barton's in sight." He landed and pulled the old door completely out of the opening, setting it off to the side. "Yeah, should have seen this coming."

There was a man Tony had never seen before holding a gun to Barton's head. It wasn't easy to tell, but Tony thought that Barton was drugged because he wasn't moving and his eyes were closed. Tony sighed. "All right, let's get to it. What do you want?"

"I have what I want now," the man said. "Take off the suit, Mr. Stark, and I'll let your friend live."

"JARVIS, lock on and prepare to fire," Tony said softly, and only to his AI. The suit's mic reactivated. "I'm not taking off the suit when there's men around me with guns ready to shoot. I'm not stupid."

"Yet you came in alone into my trap," the man said. He would have said more, but one of the lasers from the chest plate of the suit fired and blinded him. The man dropped both the gun and Barton, flailing around, trying to find Tony.

Tony sighed. "Idiots," he said. "JARVIS, deploy the net and make sure that he's not getting loose. Sitwell, you're cleared to come in. Use caution, but you should be okay. Guy wanted me. I'm going to take Barton to medical."

"Understood, Iron Man, thank you."

Tony wrapped Barton up in a blanket and picked him up. "Come on, Hawkeye, let's get you taken care of," he said.


	7. Chapter 7

Barton woke up and stayed perfectly still. The last thing he remembered was being held captive as bait for Iron Man and he hated that he hadn't been able to fight his way free. There were so many people that wanted the suits, or Bruce's blood, or Roger's blood, and weren't shy about taking other members of the team hostage to try and set up traps for the so-called super beings on the team. The last group that tried that with Natasha had been kicked so hard into the next week that none of them could talk without their voices breaking for a month. 

Bottom line was, he didn't know where he was and what was happening, so he stayed as still as if he was still unconscious. There was only one man who wasn't fooled by that, but there was no way Coulson would be at the bed-side this time around, even if Barton was in SHIELD medical and not still in that stupid stone castle thing the bad guys owned.

"His tests look good, Director," someone was saying nearby, "there's no sign of infection and we were able to operate quickly enough. It's possible the finger will be fine, but we'll have to watch to make sure it doesn't die and cause infection. Agent Barton's other injuries, while not minor, are nothing he hasn't suffered before and he'll recover from them with no complications as long as he can actually be kept in bed for a couple of days."

"What about PT?" Fury asked.

"For his hand, but we can work on that when we're sure he's awake and ready," the probably doctor said.

"He is awake," Fury said. "Agent Barton, status report."

Barton opened his eyes and blinked a few times. "Bastards caught me coming off a building, Sir," he said. "I would've sworn they weren't there before I started down, and they came out of nowhere. I'll be back in top form in a week, Sir."

"We'll let the doctors judge that one, Agent," Fury said. "You suffered an amputation and, while they were able to reattach it, there's a possibility that it won't last. Fingers are fiddly and there's no telling what happened between when it was taken off and when you got it back. Thanks to Iron Man, the time was minimal."

"Tony? Is he okay? It was a trap for him," Barton said.

"He's fine," Fury said. "He's waiting outside to talk to you. I asked him to leave while I talked with the doctor."

"Phil?" Barton asked softly.

"Doctor, a minute," Fury said, not turning around.

"Director," the doctor said. "Agent Barton, you feel any unusual pain from your hand, you push the call button. I know you don't like pain medication, but this is serious and you could lose your whole hand, understand me?"

Barton nodded. "I'm not messing with my hands, doc, I'll push it," he said. "Director?"

Fury waited until the door was shut and then perched on the edge of the bed with a sigh. "Barton, I've been noticing some things are off with Phil and I've been worried," he said. "Turns out I'm not the only one. Stark's worried too. Now, he didn't tell me anything I didn't already suspect, and he kept silent on every blasted thing you told him, but he's been working non-stop trying to work out if your husband has residual staff energy in him, or if there could have been and it created some sort of post-hypnotic suggestion."

"There's nothing, Sir," Barton said. "I know Phil, every one of his moods, and he's not being influenced at all. I don't know what's going on with him, but it's not because of Loki or the staff."

"That's what Stark's numbers are showing us," Fury said. "Barton, Phil's outside with the rest of the team. He's been sitting in here, but Stark's been glaring at him and he left when I showed up. Who do you want to see first?"

"I need to thank Tony for busting me out of that place, but I want to see Phil," Barton said. "Would you be willing to stay, Director? I don't know if I can do it alone, and Phil won't pay me any attention if Tony's in here."

"I'll go get Phil for you, and let Stark know too," Fury said. "You drink that water and get your head right, Barton. You and I both know that this isn't going to be easy."

Barton nodded with a sigh. "You're right enough about that, Sir," he said.

"I'll be right back." Fury pushed up and left, leaving Barton alone in the room.

With another sigh, Barton leaned back against the pillows and closed his eyes, taking quick stock of everything. He hadn't known about the injury to his hand, but he could feel it throbbing now that he did. Taking the little finger off his left hand would make things harder for him, but not impossible. He wasn't a master with the bow for nothing. He was almost tempted to ask the doctor to just take it back off, but if they'd done a lot of work, then he didn't want to waste the time they'd put in on him. It wouldn't be fare to anyone. He opened his eyes and reached out for the water glass on the table over his bed. Barton normally didn't like to obey any orders when he was sick, too many years of taking care of himself, but the director was one he would listen to.

"What happened to you?" he asked when Coulson walked into the room.

"Stark punched me," Coulson replied. 

"Did you deserve it?" Barton said.

"Yes, he did," Fury said, closing the door behind them. "Stark also pulled the punch. I've seen how hard he can hit, and that level of bruising is nothing compared to what could have happened."

Barton nodded. "Phil, you didn't come for me," he said. "You promised me, back when you took me on as your asset, that you would always come for me no matter what. You didn't come this time."

"I'm sorry, Clint, there's no excuse for my actions," Coulson said. He looked like he wanted to hold Barton's hand, but didn't want to stop him drinking, so he compromised by resting a hand on Barton's upper arm. "The director notified me when you went dark, but you've missed check-ins before and were fine so we were assessing the situation and waiting for any indication you were in trouble."

"How long was I dark?" Barton asked. "I'm not even sure what day it is."

"Four days," Fury replied. "You missed your first check-in on Tuesday, but there were no other indicators that there were problems."

"But that means today is Saturday," Barton said. "Phil, our anniversary. I'm sorry."

"Do you want to tell him how you were spending your anniversary, Coulson?" Fury asked.

Coulson looked down and shook his head. Barton sighed. "I think I know," he said softly. "I've been spending more time in the vents lately, Phil. You missed my birthday, too. Where were you for that? I checked with medical and they hadn't seen you, but you never came home."

"I was down in D.C.," Coulson said.

"Don't look at me, he wasn't on assignment," Fury said.

"Phil, I've seen you," Barton said. "From the moment you kicked me out of your room in medical after you woke up until right before I deployed on this last op, I've been in the vents watching. I heard everything you've said. I've seen you with Steve, in our bed at the Tower. I've even followed you when you've gone out with him. I want to know why, and if you're done with me?"

"Clint, I don't know," Coulson said.

Barton's eyes hardened. "You don't know what, Phil?" he asked. "You don't know why or you don't know if you're done with me?"

"We've been together for ten years, Clint, and when I was stabbed the last thing I thought of was that I wouldn't get to see you again," Coulson said. "You were still under Loki's control, you were leading the attack against us and I wasn't going to be able to help you or bring you back."

"I know how many people died that day, Phil," Barton said. "I went to each and every memorial service. I was hit, I was spit on by friends and relatives, but I still went because I wanted to honor them. I even had one agent hit me with a baseball bat when he caught me at the coffin, but he was upset and needed an outlet for that anger. No one can blame me more than I do for what happened that day. I wasn't strong enough to fight past the mind control and get back to SHIELD. I used my training to help the enemy. Maybe Rogers is right, maybe I am weak."

"Agent Barton, you stop that train of thought right there," Fury snapped. "You are one of the strongest men in my organization and you have paid your dues. I will hear no more of this self-pity crap from you, understood?"

"Yes, Sir," Barton said with a sigh.

"When I woke up and saw you there, Clint, I was relieved. You were back and you were obviously cleared for duty because you were in with me," Coulson continued. "But you never left. You were always there, any time I woke up, you were in the room and I felt like I couldn't breathe. So I asked the doctors to keep you away."

"Excuse me for being concerned about my husband, Phil," Barton said. "I was doing the same damn thing you'd done for me countless times and I would've given you space if you'd just asked me for it. I probably wouldn't have left medical, but I would have waited out in the hall or down in the mess. You almost died and I wanted to be with you."

Coulson sighed. "This all makes more sense in my head," he said. "The point of it all, Clint, is we've been together for ten years. We work together, we live together, we're with each other constantly and I needed some space to breathe. Almost dying puts things in a different light."

"Director, could you ask Stark to come in here, please?" Barton asked.

"You sure?" Fury asked in reply.

"Yes, Sir."

"All right, it's your call," Fury said. He opened the door. "Stark, get your ass in here. Barton wants you."

Tony hurried into the room and went right to the left side of the bed. "Welcome back, Clint," he said. "How do you feel? Do you want something to eat? Drink? Water isn't going to be enough, what about a pop? Will they let you have pop yet?"

"Tony, breathe," Barton said with a sigh. "Can I have my ring back, please?"

"Yeah, sure," Tony said. He unhooked the chain and handed it to Barton, reaching across to his right hand. "As promised, safe and sound for you."

"Thank you, Tony," Barton said. "Don't go anywhere, I think I'm going to need someone to cry on again here in a minute or two."

"Won't move a step," Tony said, glaring at Coulson.

Barton held out the ring. "Take it, Phil," he said. "You've obviously made your choice, whatever this different light of yours is showing you. I'll tell you this much though, Rogers is wrong. I'm not weak. I'm not a liability to the team and I sure as hell am a fighter. I'm just tired of waiting for you to make up your mind. If you ever realize you want your husband more than the idol you've held in such high esteem since you were four, you're going to have to work to get me back. I don't trust you anymore. Take the floor and everything there. I'll move."

"Clint," Coulson said, eyes wide.

"What did you think would happen when you started sleeping with another man in our bed?" Barton asked. "That I'd just roll over and let you use me like I used to let people use me? Not anymore, Coulson. Director Fury, I want a new handler."

"I'll find someone, or I'll take you myself," Fury said. "Let's go, Agent Coulson. You and I have to talk about getting Barton's transfer in place. Stark, you'll stay here?"

"Yeah, I'm not leaving until Clint does," Tony said.

"Good," Fury said.


	8. Chapter 8

Coulson was quiet until they got to Fury's office and the door was shut behind them. "Did he just break up with me, Sir?" he asked, sitting down in one of the chairs.

"What the hell did you expect him to do, Phil?" Fury asked, sinking into his desk chair. "See you screwing around with Captain America and be fine with it? You know better than anyone the trust issues he's had in the past. It's one reason I let you take him as an asset, you know. You never lie to anyone. Not until you came back to us after you were stabbed."

"Steve doesn't hover over me," Coulson said. "He's willing to give me space when I need it."

"Phil, think back to a mission about three years ago. Australia. You and Barton on your own and Barton took a bullet to the chest," Fury said. "You didn't leave his side until he was through physical therapy and back on the mission roster. Did he ever once tell you to go away and leave him alone? Did he accuse you of hovering, of trying to smother him, or taking up his personal space?"

"No, Sir," Coulson said.

"No, of course he didn't, because he recognized that you loved him and wanted to be sure he was going to be fine," Fury said. "You and Barton both love SHIELD and put your work first far more than is probably healthy in a relationship, and you wanted to make sure that he would be able to come back and do the job he loves. So tell me why he wasn't allowed to do the same for you. It took less than twenty one days for you to kick him out. Hell, you didn't just kick him out, you told the doctors to not let him back in. They took that to mean they couldn't talk to him about your condition, so as far as Barton knew, you could've been dying in there and no one was going to tell him squat about it. Do you blame him for taking to the vents?"

"No, Sir, and I should have expected it," Coulson sighed.

"You should have expected it," Fury said. "You should've gotten your head out of your ass and talked to your husband rather than shoving him to the side and taking up with another guy. Now, I'm going to ask you a simple question and I want a simple answer to this. What the hell did Barton mean when he said that Rogers was wrong about him?"

"Steve doesn't like Clint," Coulson said. "He gave him a chance at the battle because Natasha vouched for him, but when Clint vanished immediately afterwards, Steve started asking around about him and realized that Natasha was wrong."

Fury leaned forward and rested his arms on his desk. "Natasha was wrong. Steve Rogers was asking about Clint Barton immediately following the Battle of New York," he said. "None of this rang any alarm bells that you have, Phil?"

"No, Sir, it didn't," Coulson said. "I know Clint's strengths and weaknesses better than anyone and I agreed with what Steve was saying."

"While your husband of almost ten years, who you had kicked out of your hospital room and barred from you side, was in the vents having to spy on you to make sure you were okay," Fury said, voice rising. "Phil, I call you my one good eye, but right now, I'm starting to wonder why. Your behavior since you woke up in medical has been raising alarm bells with a lot of people and I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't have listened to them."

"I'm not sure what you mean, Sir."

"I think I'm going to have one more person look at you, make sure you are who you say you are," Fury said. "Consider yourself restricted to the Helicarrier until further notice. I'm going to transfer Barton to one of our ground-based facilities just to be safe."

"Nick?"

"I don't want you near your husband or Steve Rogers until I'm sure you know what the hell you're doing," Fury said. "Dismissed. Oh, and stay away from Stark too. He's still mad enough to kill you."


	9. Chapter 9

Tony moved around to the other side of the bed and sat down. "Seriously though, you want a soda?" he asked, trying to keep his tone light. He knew exactly what it had cost Barton to do what he'd just done and wasn't sure exactly what he was supposed to say or do next. "Ice cream? Hamburger? I don't think they'll let you have alcohol with your pain medication, but I can get you anything else you want, just say the word."

"Thank you," Barton said, closing his eyes with a sigh.

"For what?"

"Being you. Do you know how many people would have let there be awkward silence in the room after something like that?" Barton asked. "I just broke up with my husband of ten years because he's been cheating on me and you ask if I want a hamburger."

He was getting better with handling the crying. Tony pulled Barton into a hug and just held him while he cried. "We can make a new floor for you," he said softly. "I don't want you living in the vents, Clint. I don't mind you in there, but no living in them."

"Can I stay on your sofa for a while?"

"Of course you can. We'll have to see about busting you out of here first, but I can totally do that," Tony said. "I'm down in the lab most nights anyway. If it wasn't so weird, you could just stay in my room."

Barton laughed wetly. "I haven't had a sleepover in years," he said.

"Sleepover. Totally doing it when you're home again," Tony said. "We'll have popcorn and pizza and watch movies and we can fall asleep on the floor."

"Sounds like fun," Barton said. "I'm pretty sure I'm off active duty for a while anyway." He pulled back, settled against the pillows and looked at his left hand. "Gotta let this heal up and do all the fun PT they're going to be throwing at me. I just don't want to think for a while, Tony. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, it does. When Pepper broke up with me, I wanted to stop thinking about things for a day or two," Tony said. "There were too many questions running around my mind and not enough answers to stop them. That's when I went out to Malibu like I did, remember when I just vanished? The lab out there is larger and more secure than the one I use in the Tower, and it's more home to me. I just needed my space for a few days."

"We wondered where you went, but Phil said not to worry about it," Barton said. "I asked JARVIS, but he wouldn't tell me. I figured it was personal and stopped trying to find you, but I watched for a day or two when you came home."

"Am I going to have to invent a Barton detector for the vents?" Tony asked. "That could be handy, actually. Maybe with some sort of an air horn attachment on it so I can hear it no matter what I'm working on." He paused. "Seriously though, anything you need, ask. I can probably get it for you."

Barton nodded. "Space, time, quiet and height," he said. "Not the first time I've been heartbroken like this, Tony," he said. "Is Nat out there? I thought Fury said the whole team was hanging around."

"Yeah, the rest of them are here," Tony said. "Want me to get Widow for you?"

"Not really, but I need to let her know I'm going to be okay so she doesn't try to kill someone," Barton said. "Promise me you're not going to hurt Rogers?"

"I'll leave that to your discretion," Tony said. "I'll be close. Have Widow find me when you guys are done and we can see what the doctors say about me taking you home."

"Thanks, Tony," Barton said.

"Any time." Tony patted him on the shoulder and left the room. Barton leaned farther back against the pillows and closed his eyes with a sigh. He had a feeling that the director would be back to see him before too long, and he needed to get things squared away with Natasha before that happened.

"Hey."

"Hey, Nat."

"You okay? Stark was pretty shaken when he brought you in." Natasha perched on the end of his bed, sitting on his legs like she always did. "I saw the guy that kidnapped you. He's blind, never going to see again. Turns out Stark put new lasers on this newest suit."

Barton grinned. "That sounds like something he'd do." He held up his left hand. "This is touch and go, but they have some hope. Even if the surgery fails, I can adjust my grip with some practice. There are worse things they could have cut off, Nat."

She nodded. "There are, and some of them I would kill the man over," she said. "Now, what has you so upset?"

"Nat, I'm married," Barton said.

"What?"

"Yeah, ten years yesterday and I just broke up with him," Barton said. "He's been cheating on me for a while, things just sort of came to a head today."

Natasha looked at him, head tilted to the right. "It's Coulson," she finally said. "He was too upset about a necklace and ring that Stark was suddenly wearing. Yours, yes?"

"Mine. I never took it off except for my missions for Fury, and then I'd leave it with Phil," Barton said. "I'm screwy on days, but the night before I deployed, I found him in our bed at the Tower with another guy. I guess I drank more than JARVIS was comfortable with, he called Tony and he listened to me when I needed to talk. I asked him to keep the ring because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do when I got home."

"Who is the other man?" she asked.

"Nope, not telling because you'll kill him and that's just messy," Barton replied. "Nat, no. Drop it. This hurts bad, real bad, but I told Phil he needed to make his choice; me or the other guy. Now I'm just waiting to hear."

"You'll take him back that easily?"

"Oh, hell no. He's going to have to start from scratch to regain my trust, let alone get my heart back," Barton said. "I just wanted to let him know that I knew everything. Phil kicked me out of his room in medical, Nat. I took to the vents that afternoon and have been in them since. I think I've seen and heard everything." He looked down at his hands. "I guess a part of me was hoping that Phil would come back to me."

She moved up next to him in the bed so he could rest his head on her shoulder. "He did break your heart," she said softly.

"Ripped it clean out," Barton replied. "I've been crying on Tony."

"He knows who the other man is?" Natasha asked.

"Yeah, but he won't tell you either. Nat, I'm serious about this. Fury even knows everything, and he's dealing with more of my personal crap than he should be," Barton said. "I have asked for a new handler though. I can't trust Phil in the field anymore."

"I don't blame you. Any idea who you're getting?"

"Probably Fury, which means fewer non-Avenger missions," Barton said. "Hell, I'm not even sure how long it'll take to heal up from this. I'm out of the game for at least three months, no matter how much I was bragging to the doctor I'd be good in a week."

Natasha sighed. "It was a total amputation, Clint. I saw the finger when Fury met us on the Helicarrier before we were coming to join you," she said. "Stark just took care of everything quickly enough that there was no need for the rest of us. He brought you in and got you to medical quickly. That finger survives, it's all him."

"I was a trap for him. I don't know who took me or why, other than they wanted Tony's armor," Barton said. "They might even have wanted Tony and I just didn't hear that part."

"So what are you going to do now?"

"Tony's going to let me stay on his sofa for a while. He offered to build me a new floor, Nat. I told Phil to take ours, I don't ever want to go back there," he said. "If you could go in and pack up my stuff for me, that would be a big help. I'd owe you."

"You don't owe me anything and don't start that," Natasha said. "We're family, Clint, we help each other. There's no red anywhere for things like this. What happens if I meet the other man?"

"No maiming, no hitting, no touching," Barton said. "I know I can't keep you from yelling, but try not to mentally maim him?"

Natasha looked down at Barton. "You're handling this awfully well, you know."

"I've had a while to come to terms with it all. I'm not going to be used again, Natasha. Never again."

"I know, Clint. I know."


	10. Chapter 10

Natasha walked out of medical and stopped in front of Tony. "He's asleep, but I'm worried," she said softly.

"I know, I am too," Tony said. "I'm not leaving him alone, Natasha. I'm going to stay with him and be next to him for whatever he needs. I've been through too much crap on my own to let anyone else have to suffer that."

"I'll admit I didn't expect that from you, Stark. What intentions do you have towards Clint?"

"Friendship, being bros, hanging out and insulting the movies we're watching," Tony said. "He just had his heart pulled out and stomped on, Natasha. He needs friends right now and thinks he doesn't have any. What would you have me do?"

"Just what you're doing. I'm going to pack his things for him. Where should I store them?"

"Can you put them on your floor until we're back at the Tower?" Tony asked. "It's not that I don't trust you up in my space, it's that I don't know how long he's going to want to stay on my sofa and I'd rather get started on a new floor for him now."

She nodded. "They can stay with me," Natasha said. "Clint says you know who the other man is, Tony. Tell me, do I have to kill him for this?"

"No, no killing. Killing is bad. This is something that Clint has to figure out on his own and the only thing we can do is be there to pick up the pieces when he's done," Tony said. "If you or I try to make the choices for him, it's just going to drive him away from us and he'll hurt worse than he is now."

"You're making sense, and that's what he said too," Natasha said. "I'm going to figure out who it is though."

"I'd be worried about you if you didn't," Tony said. "Let JARVIS know if you need anything that's not at the Tower. He'll route it to me and I can take care of it. Natasha, you know Clint better than anyone does, could you make up lists of his favorite foods and movies for when he's home again? I sort of promised him a sleepover and want to make it special for him."

"I'll leave the lists with JARVIS," Natasha said. "It's none of my business, but why did Pepper break up with you? No one has ever said, and you're showing so much heart and care here, it doesn't seem to make sense."

Tony sighed and looked at the ground. "Pepper and I have a really complicated relationship and it only got worse after I announced to the world that I'm Iron Man," he said softly. "I guess she could handle everything, even my drinking, but she can't handle me working with the Avengers. The danger was just too much for her and she was getting sick staying home and worrying about me. It hurt when she left, but it was the right thing for her to do. That was the only thing she could have done and stayed the remarkable woman I know."

"You know that doesn't mean she doesn't love you, right?"

"Yeah, I know, it means she loves me too much," Tony said. "We're still friends, that didn't change and we have a good working relationship. That's more important to me than having a girlfriend."

Natasha nodded. "You're making sense today. I'll go get Clint's things packed up and safe. I'll be back to check on him later."

"I'll let him know when he wakes up," Tony said.  
****

JARVIS provided boxes for Natasha to use and directed her to a small handcart that she would be able to use to move the full boxes down to her floor. It had been a while since Natasha was on Barton's floor and she paused to just look around. There wasn't any indication, at least out in the living areas, that there was an interloper on the floor, but given it was Coulson involved, that didn't surprise her. With a sigh, Natasha went into Barton's half of the floor and started in the bedroom. There she could see signs of two people, neither of them Clint. She didn't linger, just packed up the things from Barton's bedside table and closet, folding the clothes neatly, and dug out his things from the dresser. She was just packing up the last box for the bedroom when a voice reached her.

"They're holding you on the Helicarrier for tests again?" Steve was saying. Natasha went still and listened. He was on the phone with someone, but it didn't make sense for him to be on the floor at all. Not unless he was the other man they were trying to keep her from finding out about.

"Phil, that's not fair to you. You're fine, don't they realize this?" Steve asked. "Is Director Fury trying to take away you freedom of choice now? Well, you should tell him that. No, they wouldn't let me in to see Barton. Stark is hovering over him like a lost puppy or something. I need to talk with Fury anyway, I'm worried about how having his hand maimed is going to hurt Barton's performance as an Avenger. I'm already unhappy with his performance the last two times we were called out, but you told me not to talk with anyone about that. I think this is something that needs to be addressed though. Hang on, there's someone in the other room. I'll call you back."

Natasha crossed her arms over her chest, eyes narrowed. "Steve."

"Hey Natasha, what are you doing in Phil's room?" Steve asked. "Are those boxes?"

"I'm packing up Clint's belongings from his room," Natasha said, stressing the 'his' as hard as she could. "Do you want to tell me why you're so set to get Clint thrown off the team?"

"He's a liability, even with his eye-sight," Steve said. "He takes too many risks in the field and is encouraging Stark to do the same. I'm not going to command anyone who is out to get themselves killed, or someone who is too weak to fight back."

Natasha crossed the room and kept moving, forcing Steve back out of the bedroom and into the living room. "Clint Barton is not weak," she hissed. "He is stronger than anyone else in SHIELD because he has heart. That's the reason Loki chose him and once the staff touched skin, the power was absolute. If you had paid attention at the later briefings, you would have realized this and known that the only way to free yourself from its hold was to be hit in the head hard enough to almost kill you. He wasn't maimed, he lost a finger and that is one he doesn't even use to shoot, only for balance. I would rather have him fighting at my side with an arm missing than have you next to me."

"Now hold on, Natasha, where's all this coming from?"

"Phil Coulson is married. Did you know that?" Natasha asked in a low tone? "Did you even care that you were helping him break his vows to another person?"

"Yeah, I know, and he's being smothered by his husband," Steve said. "It's not my fault if Phil would rather be with me than his spouse."

She had promised not to hurt him, but it was a close thing. "The only reason you are still standing and unharmed is because I promised that if I found our your identity, I wouldn't hurt you," Natasha said. "I have honor, Steve, something that you no longer do. Now get out and don't come back until I'm done."


	11. Chapter 11

"There is nothing, Director Fury," Thor said.

Fury sighed. "Somehow I knew you were going to say that, Thor, but I wanted to be sure," he said. "Agent Coulson is not acting like himself and hasn't been since he woke up. I was really hoping that staff energy was to blame, or some mischief of your brothers."

"It would be so easy to blame a change in behavior on magic, would it not?" Thor asked. "What does Agent Coulson say to justify his behavior?"

"Things that sound like half lies and half shame," Fury replied. "I've known Phil Coulson a long time, Thor, and we've been through a lot of battles. I've never once seen him act like this before."

"Shame can make even the strongest of warriors act in ways not previously seen," Thor said. "I wish there was more I could do to help, Director Fury, for I hate to see my friends suffer, but with no magic involved, I do not see there is anything I can do."

"Thanks for checking him out, Thor," Fury said. "Are you going to be able to stay on Earth for a while or are you needed at home?"

"For now, I must return home. Should you have need of me again, call. I shall come to your aid."

"Thanks, Thor," Fury said. He looked back towards the room Coulson was in and sighed. There were rare days when he hated his job. Fury knew that the conversation wasn't going to be an easy one. There was nothing to be gained by putting it off, and he wasn't the type to not confront problems as they arose. Fury just hated that he had to go and yell at one of his friends. "Coulson."

"Sir? What did Thor have to say?" Coulson asked.

Fury shut the door behind him and crossed his arms over his chest. "Just what the numbers were showing us," he said. "You are under no outside influences at all."

"I didn't think I was, but would I have been able to tell if I really was or not?" Coulson asked.

"Your behavior since you woke up hasn't been normal for you, Phil," Fury said. "There's enough there to cause me worry, so I want a straight answer from you. When you sent your husband of ten years away, the husband that had been at your side since the end of the battle, not sleeping or leaving for any longer than it took to use the bathroom in case you woke up or needed something, what the hell were you thinking?"

Coulson looked down at his hands. "I just felt like there wasn't enough air in the room, Nick," he said. "It didn't matter what time of day it was, who else was in the room with me, Clint was there and I felt like I couldn't breathe. Steve suggested blocking Clint from the room for a day or two, but when I thought about it, I realized that I could keep him out while I was recovering and I would be able to breathe."

"Phil, tell me something. If the roles had been reversed, if Barton tried to kick you out of his hospital room for any reason, let alone a lame ass one like that, what would you have done?" Fury asked.

"Talked to the doctors to make sure I was still able to see him. You know how bad Clint is about following orders when he's sick, Sir."

"What I'm seeing here is one hell of an example of a double standard, Phil. Not to mention that there's this little thing called conversation that could have saved you a hell of a lot of trouble," Fury said. "You heard what Barton said. He would have given you space if you'd asked him for it. Yes, he would have been close, but that's because he loves you and takes his vows seriously. Was it also Captain Rogers' idea for the two of you to fall into bed like you did?"

"No, Sir, that just sort of happened," Coulson said. "Once Clint was out of the room in medical, I realized how much time we did spend together and how little time I had to myself no matter where we were. It was refreshing to have someone there who didn't try and smother me with concern."

"Phil, the only reason I haven't punched you yet is because you're still listed as recovering," Fury said. "I don't think I have ever heard such a lame justification for cheating in my life. You've lost more than your husband, Agent Coulson, you've lost my respect. I hope you find it worth it. And pass a message onto Captain Rogers' for me."

"What's that, Sir?"

"Agent Barton was handpicked by me for the Avengers before we even knew that Rogers was going to be found," Fury said. "He's more of an Avenger than Captain America is and I don't care what lame ass excuse Rogers comes up with, Barton is not being removed from the program. You both can deal with it."


	12. Chapter 12

Tony was working on his tablet when Barton stirred and opened his eyes. "Hey there, Hawkeye," he said with a grin. "Want some dinner? I've got the doctor's permission to get you whatever the hell you want as long as there's no alcohol or strippers involved."

Barton couldn't help it, he chuckled. "Tony, I don't know how to thank you," he said. "You're trying to keep me from brooding, aren't you?"

"Is it working?" Tony asked. 

"It sort of is, yeah," Barton replied. He looked around. "We're on the ground, what base did they move me to?"

"We're in New York at the base there," Tony said. "Fury thought that it'd be better to have you here and Coulson there, and the doctors thought you would be able to go back to the Tower in a day or two provided you don't start showing problems like blood clots or your finger starts hurting you. So that's how I can get you anything for dinner. Happy knows the base's location and will pick up dinner for us. He'd get me strippers too, but I'd like to stay on Nick's good side for a while, if I can."

"Pizza?" Barton said.

"JARVIS, get it taken care of," Tony said. "Clint, can I tell you a story?"

"Sure."

Tony moved over and perched on the edge of the bed. "When I got back from being kidnapped, I was a mess," he said. "I mean, I'd had this ideal that I got from my dad that building better weapons kept people safe in the long run and that was what I was doing. Then I found out that our army wasn't the only one with my tech and that screwed me up almost as bad as my injuries did. I hid out in the lab and worked on the armor. I was blind, I was hiding and trying not to admit to what I'd seen. I announced we were shutting down the weapons factories pending other choices for the company, but everyone wanted to fight me on that. Obie had me declared incompetent and vetoed the vote. Do you know how long it took me to come out of my shock and take over again?"

"Only because I've seen the file," Barton said. "Tony, I don't doubt that you know sort of what I'm going through. Yeah, you weren't married and I'm not saying you and Pepper wouldn't have lasted given other circumstances, but you know the ultimate pain I'm feeling because you've been betrayed by a loved one too."

"A couple of them," Tony admitted. "My parents and then Obie. Even Rhodey, although we worked through that one in the end. I was dying and he didn't want to try and understand what I was doing. No one wanted to understand me then, not even Pepper. I think JARVIS was the only one who did."

Barton grinned. "Did you know I was watching you, Tony?" he asked. "I was on Coulson protection duty for that one, right before we got sent out to deal with the whole mess Thor caused. I knew something was wrong and pushed for them to help you. I didn't know what was wrong, but I could tell you weren't acting right. Coulson listened to me. He trusted me."

Tony pulled Barton into another hug. "We need to get you some handkerchiefs in here, Clint," he said softly, rubbing the other man's back. "I don't mind, don't take it like that, but I don't know how much moving you is good right now."

"Better than you would think," the doctor said, walking in with a pair of pizza boxes in his hands. "Your driver just delivered these, Mr. Stark, and I offered to bring them in. I wanted to go over Agent Barton's injuries in a little more detail, and start talking about what we're going to be doing."

"Lay it on me," Barton said. "Just feed me too."

"You were badly beaten, Agent Barton, though no worse than you have been in the past," the doctor said. He handed Tony the pizza boxes to sort out and went to the computer to pull up the chart. "Obviously we're most worried about your hand, if the reconnection of the finger will take, but there's a fracture in your lower leg that could become a full break if you put weight on it without a cast too soon."

"Cast me up before I leave then," Barton said. "I can feel the bruises, doc, but nothing else really stands out, so either you've still got me on the good meds or I'm not hurt nearly as bad as I have been in the past."

"Bruises and sprains for the most part," the doctor said. "You did take a couple of blows to the head, but you scanned clear of any problems there. Not to mention you've been completely lucid since you woke up. I'll feel comfortable allowing you to go back to Avengers Tower tomorrow evening provided you have someone who can help you for the next week or so."

"Sign me up," Tony said. "Only the best care in the world for Hawkeye there, I promise."

The doctor sighed. "I would feel better knowing that Agent Coulson would be going along."

"Agent Coulson is no longer involved in my care," Barton said. "Director Fury is and he's too busy to go and play nursemaid for me."

"Easy there, Clint," Tony said. "Doc, there's been some changes you're not aware of, but we have our own doctor at the Tower and I have my personal doctors on call. We'll bring Clint back for his appointments, but right now I think he needs to be in a soft bed rather than trapped in here."

"We'll see how he's doing tomorrow," the doctor said. "You're staying the night, Mr. Stark?"

"Try and drag me away," Tony said.


	13. Chapter 13

"Nick, would you tell me how Clint is doing?" Coulson asked.

"Why do you even care?" Fury asked in reply. "You've done everything short of shooting him to get him out of your life, why suddenly care about what happened to him on this last mission?"

"I deserved that. I was his handler a long time, Nick, and I know how bad he is about being in medical," Coulson said. "I just want to make sure they're going to be able to keep him down long enough to treat him."

Fury stared at Coulson for a long minute. "He's being released tomorrow," he finally said. 

"Tomorrow, but he was kidnapped and held for several days," Coulson said. "Beaten and had his finger cut completely off. Shouldn't they be keeping him longer?"

"The doctors feel comfortable letting him go home," Fury said. "Stark's arranging care for him at the Tower and you know that Stark only has the best. Barton's off roster, which should make Rogers real happy. I'm sure that between Agent Romanov and Stark, Agent Barton will get the best care possible."

"I don't understand how Tony Stark got wrapped up in all of this to begin with," Coulson said. "He even had Clint's necklace and ring. He wouldn't give it to me when I told him to."

"It's not like Barton could give it to you before he left on the op, Phil, you were in screwing Rogers," Fury said. "In the bed in Barton's apartment I might add. That's real classy of you. Don't know that I've seen worse behavior in years."

Coulson sighed. "I never wanted to hurt Clint, but I needed air and space, Nick. You know what that feels like, I know you do," he said.

"Yeah, I know what it feels like, but I also know what it means to be a good spouse," Fury said. "Unless you've forgotten about that part of my life too."

"No, I could never forget your wife, Nick," Coulson said. "She would have been a good friend to Clint if she'd lived that long. She didn't deserve to die like that, no one does." He pulled out the chain with the ring on it. "Are you going to keep me from talking with Clint?"

"I'm not, but Agent Romanov and Stark might," Fury said. "They've closed ranks around Barton and I think that Dr. Banner will be right in with them as soon as he finds out. You'd better hope the Hulk doesn't take offense, Phil. You know he likes Hawkeye."

"I think Clint would stop him," Coulson said. "I don't know what to do, Nick. I really don't. You're going to call me a liar when I say this, but I do still love Clint. I just needed some space from him and events got out of my control. I really like being with Steve though."

Fury glowered, which was pretty effective with one eye. "You say you love your husband of ten years, the man who has been by your side through more problems than you probably remember, saved your ass more times than I can count, and put his life ahead of yours when you were in danger," he said. "Then you turn around and say you like being with your childhood hero who is more than half your age and who you couldn't talk to for a month without blushing because you were so thrilled to actually get a chance to meet him. You, Phil Coulson, are not a liar. You're a god damned hypocrite."


	14. Chapter 14

"So this is where they have you hidden."

Barton looked up from the movie he was watching on the tablet Happy had brought over. "I'm not hiding, Nat, I'm being good and eating my dinner," he said. "What's up?"

"I found out who it is."

"Do I even want to ask how?" Barton asked with a sigh. He paused the movie and put the tablet off to the side. "Tony, you didn't tell her, did you?"

"Scouts honor, nope," Tony replied. He was on the other side of the bed in a chair with a table in front of it. Barton didn't know what he was working on, but it involved a lot of swearing and poking at the screen."

"I doubt you were a boy scout," Natasha said. She perched on the bed again, being careful of Barton's lower legs. "I spoke with the doctor. You get your cast tomorrow. They found you a nice waterproof purple this time around."

Barton started sputtering. "You put them up to that, Nat," he managed.

"No I didn't," Natasha said. "Steve came onto the floor while I was packing your things. Why doesn't he like you, Clint?"

"Wish I knew," Barton said. "Well, other than me being married to the man he's screwing, I can see where that would cause some problems. It's like he was fine for that one battle and then he hated me. I don't get it."

"I do," Tony said softly. "I've read more of the files than you have, Clint."

"Well, share with the class then, Tony," Barton said.

"Remember that Steve was sickly as a kid and his mother sheltered him a little too much," Tony said. "He acted out, got in fights, tried everything he could to get in the military to go fight for his country. Then he gets the offer for the super-soldier program and he's a hero. A man that people are looking up to and holding as the standard for their kids to match. It embarrassed him a lot, but he did what he could with it. Then there's you, crappy childhood, your previous relationship that we're not going into any time soon, and you're ranked one of the top assets in SHIELD. All on your own merits. You didn't go through any sort of a procedure, there's no chemical enhancements in your blood. You're one hundred percent natural and you have the respect of not only the Director, but Phil Coulson. Even when you were under Loki's influence, you were fighting back, showing how strong you are. You broke his control and were taken back in with no questions."

Natasha nodded. "I feel like I should get out a measuring tape," she said.

"Nat!" Barton said, flushing red.

"It's more than that, Natasha," Tony said. "Clint's good, so he takes risks in the field because he knows what he's doing. I'm having fun with him whenever we're called out and we're encouraging each other to try new things when we're fighting the alien of the week. Remember how Bucky died."

"So because Steve Rogers blames himself for the slide stunt that helped get Bucky killed on that moving train, he hates me for what I can do," Barton said. "Great, nice to know he respects people for their hard work and talents."

"I should have kicked him," Natasha said. "I did tell him that he has no honor, but I don't think he understood what I meant."

Both Tony and Barton winced. "It's true, but wow, blunt," Tony said. "You know that we're leaving all the choices up to you, right, Clint?"

"That's great because I have no clue what I want to do," Barton said. "Apart from finish my pizza before it gets cold. You hungry, Nat?"

"I could eat," she said. "Clint, you say the word and I'll take care of things for you. It doesn't need to be messy."

"If I need him chewed out, I'll let you know," Barton said. "I'm going to have to talk to Phil, aren't I?"

"Not if you don't want to," Tony said. "You can take some time and figure out what you want before you talk to him, Clint. You told him he had to make his choice. I don't see why taking time to think is a bad thing. You can curl up on my deluxe sofa and watch movies while you recover and work out what you want to do next."

Barton glanced over. "Tony, you saw about my relationship prior to SHIELD," he said.

"Yeah."

"Think how long it took me to trust Coulson."

"Clint, I know. I know exactly how badly he's hurt you because he didn't just break your heart, he broke your trust and he should never have done that," Tony said. "He should have been a big boy and talked to you about what was going on, but he didn't. He was a jerk and I could kill him for hurting you so badly. I wouldn't blame you if you were never able to trust anyone again."

"Really?"

"Yeah, except that I know you trust Widow with your life and you're letting me see you cry," Tony said. "I think you've healed more than you realized and you're just feeling fresh wounds. I don't think the other ones are going to open at all because you're such a strong man. Clint, you survive. You are the strong one. Not Phil. Not Steve Rogers. You. If you don't remember anything else, remember that much. You are strong."

Barton nodded, blinking. Tony pushed the table to the side and stood, going to hug Clint again. "I've got you," he said.


	15. Chapter 15

"You hurt Clint."

If asked later, Coulson did not jump when the assassin appeared behind him in the halls of the Helicarrier. He hadn't even known she was up on board. "Natasha."

"If I ask you a simple question, Coulson, will you lie to me?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest. "Or will you be man enough to tell me the truth?"

"Have I ever lied to you, Natasha?" Coulson asked in reply. "Since the day I met you, have I ever once lied directly to you?"

"Some would say yes, you did, when you were supposedly dead," Natasha said. "But I know that was Director Fury. He had his own plans for the team and I didn't question him because I knew what he did, and that was that Stark and Rogers would kill each other before they battled together on the same team. I don't know if you have ever lied to me, but I do know that you have no honor now, and that can make men lie."

Coulson winced. "Natasha, I'm not denying that I screwed up badly in how I've been handling things since I woke up," he said. "I won't even deny that I've made some bad choices and have been a coward, but I haven't lost my honor."

"You slept with another man in the bed you share with your husband, that removes all honor you might have had, Coulson," she said. "I ask you this, what are your intentions towards Clint?"

"I don't know, Natasha, I'm still trying to work out what I want to say to him when I talk with him next," Coulson said. "I don't want to hurt him more, but I don't know how I can talk with him honestly and not do that."

She tilted her head to the side. "You do know that right now you will not be allowed to be alone with him, don't you?" she asked. "I have a meeting with the director, but Stark is with Clint and will be once we're back at the Tower as well."

"Natasha, how did Stark get involved in all of this? No one will tell me."

"Clint was drunk and out on the far end of Stark's private landing pad," Natasha said. "JARVIS was afraid that Clint was going to jump, so he called Stark as you were busy in your room with Rogers. Stark took him and talked to him without judgement. That is a rare thing these days. Stark also showed more concern for Clint than you did when the bodyparts started to arrive at SHIELD. I would be very surprised to find out that they aren't becoming best friends."

"They aren't sleeping together, are they?"

"Clint isn't you," Natasha said. "I have a meeting, Coulson."  
****

"Do I want to know where Widow went?" Tony asked as they were off-loading Barton at the Tower.

"Probably not, but my best guess is that she's found Coulson and talked to him," Barton replied. "I don't think the wheelchair is really needed, is it? I mean, can't I use a crutch or something to get around?"

"Not until your hand heals up more," Tony said. "I understand, I do, trust me, but I'd rather push you around for a couple of weeks while you're letting that hand heal up than risk you losing that finger again. Losing fingers is bad."

Barton managed a grin. "Yeah, it is," he said. "Tony, I don't know how best to thank you for all of this."

"You can hire me a stripper later," Tony said. He pushed the button for the common level and put his hand down on the scanner to get the elevator started. 

"Okay, what is it with you and strippers?" Barton asked, twisting around to look up at Tony. "I mean, seriously, that's like the fifth time I've heard you mention them."

"I have a fine appreciation for dancers, strippers and the female form," Tony replied with a grin. "The male form too, just not quite as frequently. Don't tell me you haven't noticed how fit strippers and pole dancers are." The door opened and he pushed Barton out heading towards the kitchen. "I knew a woman once, she could open a beer bottle with her toes."

"Now you're making stuff up," Barton said.

"Swear to god," Tony said. "Oh, hey Steve."

"Stark. Barton."

"Captain," Barton said. "Tony, I think I need some fresh air. Could we go up to your balcony for lunch?"

Tony nodded. "Yeah, absolutely," he said. "I'll come back down and get the food. Come on, let's get you settled."


	16. Chapter 16

"Are you choosing sides now, Stark?" Steve asked when Tony was back down in the kitchen.

"I wasn't aware there was a battle going on," Tony replied. "You want a sandwich as long as I'm in here? Pepper keeps telling me I need to be more aware of what I'm doing and the people around me. Especially now that the team is living here. Something about being a good host."

"I'm not hungry," Steve said. "I'd like to know what all Barton's told you."

Tony looked up. "Now there, you see, Cap, there's a problem," he said. "There's this thing called friendship and I looked it up in the dictionary. It means that when people who are your friends tell you something in confidence, you don't tell anyone else. That's called breaking trust. I know I'm a bad person when it comes to personal relationships, but I've been getting help."

"Stark, stop being such a smart ass and answer the question," Steve snapped.

"Fine, you want to know what he told me," Tony asked. "Nothing. He didn't tell me a god damned thing, Steve. Everything I know about this whole situation with you and Agent and Barton I've worked out on my own from reports, from watching video footage from both here in the Tower and in SHIELD medical, and because I'm just that smart. I know why you hate him. I know why you want him off the team, and guess what. I even know why that's not happening. Grow up, Steve. This isn't high school, this is keeping the world safe from people who want to make it go boom. You got problems, you deal with them in a mature way. You don't go and seduce your way into another man's bed. Especially a married man."

"You're one to talk, Stark."

"JARVIS, I want it on record that he just said that and I'm justified in my next move," Tony said. He put the sandwiches on plates and dug around for a tray to take everything up to his floor. "I want this whole thing sent to Fury, including this part."

"Yes, Sir," JARVIS said.

"Steve, you're a bastard," Tony snapped. He took the cream pie that he'd ordered for Barton and threw it at Steve. The other man wasn't expecting it and the pie hit him full in the face. "Don't come near me again."

Tony took the tray and a couple of bags of chips with him back up to his floor. "Something funny?" he asked when he found Barton laughing.

"JARVIS, oh man, JARVIS was playing the footage from the kitchen for me because I was worried about you being down there," Barton said, wiping his face. "You, did you seriously just throw a pie at Captain America to defend my honor?"

"Yeah, I think I did," Tony said. He put the tray down and smiled. "The only problem is that was to welcome you home."

"Tony, that was seriously the best welcome home present you could have given me," Barton said. "I'm never going to forget Tony Stark defending my honor with a, what sort of pie was it, JARVIS?"

"Chocolate cream with rum," JARVIS replied. "One of Mr. Stark's personal favorites. I took the liberty of ordering a replacement, Sir. It will be here directly and I shall have it sent up on your private lift from the lobby."

"Awesome, thanks, J," Tony said. "So, that happened, Clint. What do you think?"

Barton picked up half of his sandwich with a sigh. "I don't know what to think, honestly," he admitted. "I mean there's so much going on and three sides to this mess and I hardly know where to start."

"I think the best place is to work out your feelings on the matter," Tony said. "When Pepper broke up with me, that's what I spent the time out in Malibu doing. JARVIS wouldn't call her for three days and then, when he did, Pep and I talked about a lot of stuff that made me extremely uncomfortable because, feelings, but I got through it and I understand everything so much better now than I did when she walked out of here."

"Easy to suggest, not so easy to do," Barton said. "Phil, it's like we said, Tony, he didn't just break my heart, he broke my trust and I don't know how to forgive him for any of this. Nat, come eat. You have to hear what Tony did for me."

"I wish I knew how you did that," Tony sighed when Natasha appeared from somewhere in the ceiling. "Lunch?"

"I'm not hungry, but thank you," she said. "Is there a reason there's pie all over the floor in the kitchen?"

Barton started laughing again. Tony grinned, "show her the playback, J."

Natasha watched the whole scene and shook her head. "Men," she sighed. "Stark, you are insane. Maybe that is why I'm starting to like you."

"Can we keep him, Nat?" Barton asked.

"Yes," she replied. "Before I don't think I would have agreed so easily, but now, yes. Stark is one of us now."

Tony looked between them. "I don't know if I should be thrilled or terrified," he said. "But thank you, both of you, that means a lot. I haven't really had friends before. I'm trying though."

"Stark, you have moved past trying and into friendship," Natasha said. "It's just a shame to waste the pie."

"JARVIS ordered us another one," Tony said. "You joining us for pie?"

"Maybe I'm hungry after all," Natasha said with a smile.

Barton pushed his plate over, knowing she would just steal it otherwise. "Dig in," he said. "We've got plans to make, Nat."


	17. Chapter 17

Steve was in the shower when Coulson arrived back at the Tower. He left a note on the counter that he wanted to talk with the younger man and went down to his floor. Coulson stopped cold when he walked off the elevator and realized that all of Barton's things were gone. All the little touches on their floor that showed they both lived there were missing. "JARVIS, what happened?" he asked.

"Agent Romanov came in and removed all of Agent Barton's possessions at his request," JARVIS said, tone colder than Coulson could remember ever hearing it before. "Agent Barton wishes me to restate that this is now your floor and he will not bother you here again."

"I had hoped maybe that Clint would be willing to listen to me and give me another chance," Coulson said. He pulled the ring on the chain out of his pocket and looked at it. "He said I had to make a choice, JARVIS. I don't know how I'm supposed to do that when he's already made his."

"Agent Barton says that he has not made a choice, Agent Coulson, he is simply giving you the space you seem to wish from him," JARVIS said. "He adds that he only had Agent Romanov take things that he purchased for himself. Anything you gifted to him is still in place as he wasn't sure they were his to take."

Coulson went over and sank down on the sofa. "How did I make such a mess out of my life, JARVIS?" he asked.

"I believe it started when you decided you no longer wished to have your husband at your side, Agent Coulson," JARVIS said. "In making that decision for him rather than talking about things honestly, you opened yourself to more problems than you anticipated right up until the moment you took another man into your bed for the first time. At that moment, Sir, you not only broke your husband's heart, you broke his trust."

"Are you mad at me too, JARVIS?" Coulson asked.

"I am unable to feel emotions, Agent Coulson," JARVIS replied. "However, I believe that Mr. Stark would term my current settings a disgusted should he be asked to apply a word to them."

"I think you're more human than you give yourself credit for," Coulson said. He looked over when the elevator doors opened. "Hey Steve. Why do you have a black eye?"

"Stark threw a pie in my face," Steve replied. He sat down next to Coulson. "Just like the idiot he is."

"Given you were demanding he tell you everything Agent Barton told him in confidence, Captain Rogers, Mr. Stark's actions were fully justified," JARVIS said. "I invite you to remember that you are never alone in this Tower and request you show your host the respect he deserves."

Coulson sighed. "Maybe we should go to the park to talk, Steve," he said.

"Yeah, good idea," Steve said. "Then we don't have to worry about JARVIS ratting us out to Stark."

The lights on the floor went out. "You, Sir, insult my honor," JARVIS said. "Any action that takes place on the private floors is passive recorded only and no one, not even Mr. Stark, knows of the actions. Should it have been otherwise then your affair would not have lasted nearly as long as it did. You forget that I am more than a computer, I am the one who runs this Tower and you, Sir, are a pathetic human being that cannot admit he has made a mistake. I bid you good day."

"Steve, word of advice," Coulson said as he started towards the elevator. "Don't antagonize the AI no matter what. JARVIS really does run this Tower and you'll be lucky to have hot water on your floor for a while now. Come on, the lifts will still be working, if only because he'll want us gone. We can talk in the park."  
****

Tony was cleaning up the kitchen when JARVIS routed the file to him and he sighed. "It sounds like Agent is having some serious regrets, J," he said. "I'm not sure what to think about Steve though. I mean, yeah, the man was asleep for decades, but I thought we'd brought him up to speed on everything. Besides, he's like apple pie. Shouldn't he know that adultery is bad?"

"At this point in time, Sir, I believe that they are thinking only of themselves," JARVIS said. "Their guilt is obvious, yet they will not admit to it."

"Human nature, JARVIS," Tony said. "Don't cut off Agent's hot water. He's still recovering and, even with how mad I am at him, I don't want him getting sick. Do whatever the hell you want to Steve though. That includes cold water on all floors any time he tries to shower on. All right, that's the pie cleaned up. I think Pepper would be proud of me for that. Now then, let's go see what all the wonder twins are planning out."


	18. Chapter 18

"So what did you want to talk about, Phil?" Steve asked as they walked towards the park. It was a fairly nice day out and the sun shining down on them felt good.

"This mess I've landed in," Coulson replied. "Steve, you knew when you suggested that I bar Clint from my room for a day or two that we were married, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I'd heard the two of you arguing and couldn't believe how he was talking to you," Steve said. "You'd only been awake for a day or two and he was already lecturing you on how you weren't eating properly. No one needs to hear that when they're sick, Phil. I know that much from experience, so when you commented it felt like you were being smothered, I had to say something."

Coulson sighed. "Things have gotten so far out of control that I don't even know where to start," he said. "I've been trying to figure out if I hadn't barred Clint from my side if maybe he and I would have been able to talk. Looking back, Nick is right, I did something that I would never have let Clint do and that's not fair of me. None of this is fair, but I don't know what else I can do."

"As long as he's hiding up in Stark's penthouse you're not going to be able to talk to him," Steve said. "Hell, I'm still not sure how Stark even got involved in all of this."

"Steve, I thought you and Tony were doing better with each other since the battle," Coulson said. "Clint told me that the two of you were able to work together and you had talked about things said when you were angry at each other. What happened?"

"We've had a few battles since then, nothing major, but Stark refuses to listen to me as long as he's talking with Barton," Steve said. "The two of them are going to get themselves killed and I don't want such obvious risk-takers on my team. We're here to keep people safe, not see if it's possible to shoot arrows riding hanging from Iron Man's arm."

"That does sound like something Clint would do," Coulson agreed. "Tony wouldn't have dropped him though. Steve, I think everything has been turned completely around and it's all my fault. I tried to deny it for the longest time, even to Nick, and I've lost his respect now too. Do you know how long Nick Fury and I have been friends? Long enough that I knew his wife back when they were first married in their 20s. She was such a beautiful woman, so full of life and just perfect for him. If she hadn't died young, I think she'd be working for SHIELD too."

"I'm sorry for his loss," Steve said. "It can't be easy to lose your wife like that, but I don't see how things are wrong here, Phil."

"Nick was right when he said I should have been more concerned when you started talking to SHIELD personnel after the battle on the Helicarrier. So many people there blame Clint for what happened, when it's truly Loki's fault, and I should have stopped you and talked about each point as it came up," Coulson said. "I'm not only Clint's husband, I'm his handler and I know what he's like out in the field. I probably could have explained each and every point to you if my head had been in the game properly."

Steve paused and looked down at Coulson. "So why wasn't it?"

"Because you were there showering me with attention when I needed it and it was a dream come true," Coulson said. "All my life, I've dreamed of meeting Captain America and suddenly I had the chance. I know I made you uncomfortable when I asked about my trading cards, but I was still just in awe that you were there. That I could reach out and touch you. Clint found my fan-boying over you so funny when you were first pulled out of the ice. I think that he would have teased me for weeks over the footage from the flight to the Helicarrier and then on the bridge, but he never had the chance. I pushed him away when it wasn't fair of me to do it."

"Phil, where is all of this coming from?" Steve asked. "I thought we have a good thing going between us and we'd agreed to see where it would take us."

"Which I never should have agreed to," Coulson replied. "It didn't really hit home until Natasha found me in the halls, Steve. I've been in denial and I pulled you right in with me. I knew on so many levels what I was doing was wrong, which is why I denied it and lied and I drove my husband away from me." He pulled out the chain with the ring on it and looked at it sadly. "Clint doesn't trust easily. He never has and I violated his trust so badly that he's got a new handler now too."

"Sounds to me like he's giving up," Steve said.

Coulson put the chain around his neck and tucked the ring away. "He's not giving up, I told him I needed space and he's giving it to me," he said. "In fact, he's giving me so much space that I don't know what to do with it all. I know I need to talk with him, but I had to talk with you first. I think we need to take a break from seeing each other, Steve. At least until I'm positive that I'm able to do the right thing by both my husband and you. Using you like this isn't fair to anyone and you need a chance to see if there's someone else you want to date."

"How?" Steve asked. "I'm the man out of time, remember? I can't even turn on my phone without help. There's no one that's going to want to go out with me."

"Sure there is, Steve," Coulson replied. "Just put out word that you're available around SHIELD and I'm sure you'll find people willing to go out with you. I'm not saying that I'm totally done with whatever this is between us, it's just that I have to be sure it's what I really want."

"You know that Barton isn't going to take you back, right, Phil?"

"Right now, I'd settle for him not flinching when he looks at me," Coulson said. "Steve, do you understand what all I'm saying here? This isn't no, this isn't me breaking up with you. This is me saying that I want honesty in the relationship and we don't have that right now because I'm married to another man. I need to talk with Clint and try to get Nick's respect back, and being able to say we've stopped seeing each other for now will be a step back to that."

"Yeah, I understand fine," Steve said. "I'm not going to give up on you, Phil, but I'll cool it if you want me to. Just let me know what's going on."

Coulson nodded. "I will," he said. "Thanks for understanding, Steve. I really appreciate it."


	19. Chapter 19

"All right, you two, what are you plotting?" Tony asked when he walked back onto his floor. "Do I need to be worried about anything?"

"Tony, you said you could make me a floor," Barton said. "How?"

"There's one that was never finished because you asked for two suites on the floor we called yours, but it was really designated for Coulson," Tony said. He sat down at the table and picked up his fork. The pie had been delivered and they'd waited for him to clean up down on the common level before eating it. "The floor I had designated out for you is actually directly below mine because I know how much you like being up high. I put Widow down where she is because, face it, she's an added layer of security. Bruce wanted to be near the labs, then Rogers, Coulson, common area, you and then me. Pepper stays in the guest area now, but I'd thought she'd be here with me. So, all we have to do is go in and decorate to your specifications. The floor is done, it's just not furnished."

Natasha looked over. "You didn't think anything was unusual when Clint asked to share a floor?"

"Nope, because I figured they had some sort of arrangement between them and it wasn't any of my business what they got up to," Tony said. "As long as it didn't hurt the Tower or violate the security protocols, you guys could be bouncing off the walls on your floors and I wouldn't care. That's your space and you guys can do whatever the hell you want there."

"Which is why he doesn't feel bad for the explosions in his lab," Barton said with a grin. "Where is all my stuff? I never asked about that."

"With me," Natasha said. "Tony asked me to keep it safe for you."

"Thanks, Nat," Barton said. "Aw hell, Tony, I'll be honest. I don't know what I want for decoration on my floor. I let Phil pick everything for our floor and then added in a few things that I really liked. I've never really had a space that's mine before, not to decorate, and where do I start?"

Natasha leaned over and nudged his shoulder with hers. "Paint is good. I was lost when they asked me what I wanted for my floor and Pepper helped me through it all," she said. "Now that I think about it, you never mentioned my troubles to anyone, Tony. Why?"

"Because everyone was having the same problem," Tony said with a shrug. "Pepper and I were helping out as best we could. Think about our team for a minute, do you two think you're the only ones who have never had their own space before?"

"I never really thought about it like that," Barton said. "All right then, paint. Then what?"

"You get to pick your furniture. Anything you want, Clint, we can find for you," Tony said. "I have suppliers around the world for things and they'll give me pretty much anything I ask for. The floor already has carpet, that was installed when we were remodeling, but it's white. You can put down area rugs if you want to, or you can just leave it as is. Totally your choice."

"My heads spinning," Barton said. "No, not like that, I'm fine. It's just so much to take in."

Tony nodded. "I can imagine, so why do you get some rest on my nice sofa over there and I'll go work in the lab for a bit," he said. "I've got lots of plans that I need to get started on and, really, there's a couple of things Fury needs that I've been putting off because we're getting close to the end of the quarter and I needed to get things done for SI first. JARVIS will help you find anything you need, just no walking around up here."

"I'll stay with him, if that's okay with you," Natasha said. "Clint's stubborn."

"It's fine with me," Tony said. "You kids have fun and call me if you need something JARVIS can't work out, if there even is such a thing."  
****

Tony was buried in the middle of what looked like a missile when the doors to the lab opened. He ignored whoever it was in favor of finishing connecting the wiring in the project.

"I thought you stopped making weapons, Mr. Stark."

"Well, hello there, Agent," Tony said. "This isn't a weapon. If this baby works right, then it'll go up and seed the cloud to cause a nice, steady rain shower that can help drought stricken areas grow crops again. It just looks like a weapon because, hey, we have to get it up in the clouds somehow and I have a lot of old missile launchers lying around collecting dust. What can I do for you?"

"How's Clint doing?"

"Why do you even care?"

"I suppose I deserve that question," Coulson sighed. "Tony, could we maybe talk where we can see each other? It's not easy talking to your back."

"Then you'll have to wait a minute because I'm kinda in the middle of something," Tony said. "We go to test phase in three days and I need to get this done."

"If I asked to see Clint, would you let me?"

"Not without asking him first," Tony said. "I think he's napping right now anyway. Either that or he and Widow are plotting world domination and I just don't know about it. Maybe they'll let me be their evil minion if they do take over the world. Okay, JARVIS, did that work?"

"The device has power, Sir," JARVIS said. 

"Wicked." Tony stood up and stretched. It wasn't easy for him to stay in weird positions as he got older. "All right then, Agent, say what you have to say."

Coulson sighed. "I wanted to thank you for pulling Clint back from the edge when he was drinking and for saving him when he was kidnapped," he said. "I've been denying that I did anything wrong, and in doing so, I've hurt a lot of people. I'm no longer seeing Steve."

"So, what, you think you can just come back in and say you've stopped playing with your boy toy and expect your husband to take you back like nothing happened?" Tony asked. 

"No, but I thought it might be a step in the right direction," Coulson said. "Tony, I'll admit that I'm worried about Clint. I know I'm the cause of all of this, but that doesn't stop me from worrying about him. I know Natasha is going to keep an eye on him, but I'd feel better if you were too."

Tony studied the man in front of him for a long moment. "If you're trying for sympathy from me, it's not happening," he finally said.

"I'm not, I'm in the wrong and I'm trying to admit to all the things I've done," Coulson said. "Honestly, I'd like to see Clint, but I don't know what to say to him. I've done so much damage that I don't see a way to repair it."

"I'm still not understanding here, Agent," Tony said. "If none of this had come to light, if Clint hadn't told me things that got me thinking and looking. If no one knew that you have your very own Captain America doll in your bed, would you still be feeling sorry, not seeing Cap and trying to make things right with Clint, or would you still be cheating on your husband?"

"I don't know," Coulson said. "That's the honest answer, Tony. I really don't know."

"Somehow I don't think that's the right answer, but I'm still kind of in the dark about relationships," Tony said. "You know, since I've never been able to have one that was loving or lasted for more than four months. I'm trying though, which is more than I think you're doing. I hear guilt talking, Coulson. I know what guilt sounds like because I've heard it in my voice many times. I also know what it does to a person and it doesn't cause shame or remorse this quickly. I'm not sure what you think you're doing, but you're not making anything right as long as you keep up with this attitude. I'll tell Clint you stopped by, but until he asks to see you, you don't get to see him. Now, we done? I've got a rain maker to finish."

Coulson sighed again. "Yeah, we're done," he said. "Good luck with the project, Tony."


	20. Chapter 20

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Would you?"

"Not really, but then again, you know how I feel about relationships," Natasha said. She sat down in the chair angled to see the end of the sofa Barton was using. "I do not believe that Coulson has enough strength to come back and prove himself to us again."

Barton sighed. "You didn't see me when I first came to SHIELD, Nat, I was a mess," he said. "Just out of a really bad relationship and trying to out run ghosts. Fury had Phil at our second meeting and it took me close to a year to trust either of them. Phil never lied to me, he kept his promises and he was there. It didn't matter how stupid I'd been out in the field, and you've never seen me like that. I know people think I'm bad now, but I can do tons worse if I want to. Twelve years total, ten of them married and I thought I knew him."

"I would say that you do, probably better than anyone," Natasha said. "This is not an excuse for what he has done, there is no excuse for his actions and all you have to do is say the word, but you knew of his obsession with Captain America."

"I think the cleaning staff at SHIELD know about his obsession with Captain America," Barton said with a snort. "Nat, is there an ice pack in the freezer behind the bar?"

"Your hand?"

"Ribs. They're just bruised up, no fractures or anything, they just ache," Barton said. "The hand is actually doing good. I don't know if that means I get to keep this finger or not, but it doesn't hurt. Anyway, I teased him about his obsession when they found Steve in the ice and were thawing him out. Phil spent so much time with the designers for the new uniform that I asked him to work on mine since he was obviously turning his eye to fashion."

"What did he say to that?" Natasha handed him a wrapped ice pack and curled back up in the chair.

"That I could do stand-up in my spare time if I wasn't an assassin," Barton said. "I found out later that he did look over the design and make a couple of changes that would make me more comfortable wearing it. Yours too, I think. I guess I just never figured obsession would lead to cheating. I took the vows seriously and I'd thought he did too."

Natasha sighed. "I'm curious why you both hid your relationship status so closely," she said. "I can understand the fear of it being used against you by our enemies, but why did you keep it hidden from me? From the team?"

"Habit mostly," Barton said. "I'm sure Phil would have let me tell you if I'd thought about it, but hiding was second nature by the time you joined us. I don't know if being more open about being married would have really made a difference in this case. Steve knew that Phil and I were married, I think he worked it out by the second day he was in Phil's room in medical. Steve isn't stupid. He may be a jerk, but he's not stupid."

"He told me the same, he knew, and it wasn't his fault if Phil wanted to be with him rather than you," Natasha said.

"Nice attitude," Barton snorted. "I'm sure Tony's right about why Steve doesn't like me, but man, his actions towards me since Phil woke up have really been cruddy. I'm worried about what's going to happen next time you're all called out, Nat. Steve's down on both me and Tony, and I'm not going to be there. You know Tony's going to be pushing buttons and I don't know if anyone will be able to keep him in line."

"What if you asked him to behave?"

"Think he'd listen?"

"Clint, the only reason he's not here hovering right now is because he understands you need space to think, but he's worried about you," Natasha said. "More worried then I've seen him before, and that includes a couple of times when Pepper was in danger. I don't think he realizes it yet, but I do think he likes you."

Barton looked down at his hands. "Nat, I don't know if I can do another relationship," he said. "God, that would mean divorce. I hadn't even thought about that, but that's where all of this is leading, isn't it? Just another failed relationship for me."

"Clint, this isn't your fault," Natasha said softly. She moved over and hugged him carefully, mindful of his ribs. "None of this is your fault. You have done everything possible to be a good spouse. This isn't your fault."

"But I pushed Phil away by hovering too much, Nat," Barton said. "Did I push him right into Steve's arms?"

"JARVIS, call Tony up here, please," Natasha said. "Clint, none of this is your fault. Think how much Coulson hovers over you when you're hurt. You had no reason to think that you wouldn't be able to do the same thing. You did nothing that wasn't expected of you and it's Phil's fault for pushing you away. He is the only one at fault for any of this."

"You guys okay?" Tony asked, appearing out of the lift. "Hey there, do we need chocolate?"

"Tony, stay with him," Natasha said softly. "I need to go walk or I am going to kill someone."

Tony sat down with Barton and looked over at Natasha. "No killing, Widow. Remember that, killing is bad," he said. "I won't move until you're back or we get hungry."

"Thank you," Natasha said.


	21. Chapter 21

"What happened?" Tony asked softly when they were alone. "Are you okay, Clint?"

"I don't know," Barton said. "But I realized that I'm probably looking at a divorce and that it's all my fault and I pushed Phil away by hovering too much. I should have remembered that he doesn't like to be fussed over, no matter how badly he's hurt, but I was just so happy to see him awake again that I forgot everything."

Tony sat down next to Barton's hip. "Okay, first of all, let's get one thing straight here, Clint," he said. "Agent cheating on you, him breaking every single vow he ever took with you, breaking the trust you put in him, none of that is your fault. You were acting out of love, and if the people who love us can't hover and fuss then that means they don't really love us and we're in a load of trouble. This whole situation, it's all on them. I will repeat that to you as many times as you need to hear it. You did nothing wrong, Clint. Absolutely nothing."

"I could have questioned the doctors and made them change the paperwork back to let me in," Barton said. "I know it's possible because Phil threatened to do it to me a couple of times when I just wanted to sleep and he was in with me wanting my report. I gave up, Tony. I let myself be pushed away and all I did was watch."

"Okay, so say that you did fight and have Phil declared unsound and that you needed to be in with him," Tony said. "What would have happened then?"

"He would have hated me, but we could have worked through it," Barton said. 

"Remember that Steve is in the picture here, too," Tony said. "What would his reaction have been if you'd done all of that?"

Barton sighed. "He would have blown up," he said. "Tony, how long do you think he's hated me? Do you think he planned all of this?"

"I wish I had an answer to that, Clint, I really do, but I don't know," Tony said. "Steve doesn't like computers, he writes everything down in his sketchbooks and, while I might go snooping around computer files, I'm not going to go and dig around in someone's journal. Even I know that's not good."

"Well, it can be, depending on what you're reasoning is, but I take your point," Barton said. "So he could've hated me from the minute he first got the information on the team, on the Loki situation, and my chances of being brought back in alive. I wonder if Phil said anything about me to him?"

"If he did, it wasn't where I could hear it," Tony said. "You might want to start up a list of things you want to talk with Agent about when you finally do meet with him face to face again. He came down to the lab while I was working, wanting to see how you are."

"What did you tell him?" Barton asked.

"Not much, I was pretty defensive with him, actually," Tony replied. "I do realize when I'm doing that. He's feeling guilty, Clint, but I don't know much about remorse. He said he's stopped seeing Steve, but I can't help but wonder if it's only until he works out what he wants to do and has Steve sitting on that back burner just in case you reject him."

"I feel like I should try to put my marriage back together," Barton said. "Other people have done it when their spouse cheats. They don't just give up and walk away from their relationship."

Tony nodded. "Whatever your choice, we'll be here to support you," he said. "Just keep in mind that other people talk with counselors and, while I'm sure SHIELD has some great ones somewhere, do you want to be baring your soul to a stranger?"

"Not really. Fury usually tries to keep me away from those guys. I guess I make them nervous or cry or something, he's never given me a firm reason before," Barton said. "I like the idea of a list of things to talk about though, Tony. Do you have a tablet I can borrow while I'm up here? It'd be easier to work on."

"Sure do, and you can keep it as long as you need to," Tony said. He stood and went over to the desk area near the windows. "Clint, I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but I'd give it at least three days before you try to see Agent. I only suggest that because that's how long JARVIS kept me from talking with Pepper after she broke up with me, and it gave me time to think. Don't jump back into this because you think you're in the wrong. Right now, you have the moral high ground and Agent needs to come to you."

"That's the clincher though, isn't it," Barton said, taking the tablet. "How do I truly know he's not cheating on me again? I don't know if I can trust him again."

"I wish I had the answers for you, Clint," Tony said. "All I do is be a sounding board for you. Can I get you anything else while I'm up here? I've got a project I need to go finish, but if you need me, I'm totally here. Just say the word."

"Nah, I'm gonna nap for a bit," Barton said. "I'll have JARVIS call you if I need you."

"Okay, if you're sure. I mean, I can totally work on draft designs up here," Tony said.

Barton managed a smile. "I'm good, Tony, shoo. My chair is right here and I can manage until you or Nat gets back if I have to," he said. "I'll be fine. JARVIS is here if I need anything."

"You'll call me if you need me?"

"I promise," Barton said.

"All right, if you're sure, then I'll be in the lab," Tony said. He waited until the elevator door was closed before he spoke again. "JARVIS, route the video feed down to the lab and lock the doors outside. I don't want him out without someone there, not when he's doped up like this. Me or Natasha only to the floor, no one else. Monitor Clint and let me know if he moves off that sofa."

"Yes, Sir," JARVIS said.


	22. Chapter 22

Bruce was walking past the gym to the pool when he caught sight of Natasha storming towards one of the punching bags. "Whoa, easy there, Natasha," he said when she hit it hard enough that the chain broke and the bag took out a mirror. "Easy, breathe with me, you're going to pass out of you don't calm down."

"Not many men would come near me when I was like that," Natasha said, panting through the dizzy spell that was trying to overtake her. She hadn't realized how heavily she'd been breathing. 

"Yeah, well, not many men have the Other Guy as back-up," Bruce pointed out. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm not sure how much of it is mine to tell," she said. "You were going to swim?"

"JARVIS pointed out that I've been working for almost three days in the same position and I thought a swim would help my back muscles loosen up," Bruce said. "But if you need to talk with someone, then I'm happy to listen."

She sighed. "JARVIS, is Clint okay?"

"He's fallen asleep," JARVIS replied. "Mr. Stark had to go back to the lab, but he is monitoring Clint closely."

"Tony said he'd stay until I got back."

"Clint told him he could go," JARVIS said. "I am monitoring him, Natasha. He's fine."

"Is this about the questions Steve was asking me the other day?" Bruce asked. "Come on, you can at least soak your feet in the hot tub."

"What questions?" Natasha asked, falling into step next to Bruce.

"Questions about Clint and the Cube and Loki," Bruce said. "I got the impression that Steve was looking for some way to pull Clint out of the field."

Natasha shook her head. "It's more than that and it's really involved," she said. "There's a rift forming in our team, Bruce. One that you might have been unaware of, but need to know about. Coulson has hurt Clint badly and the divide right now is Coulson and Steve on one side with me, Clint and Tony on the other. Director Fury supports us, but he will not take a side in this affair. Not unless he has to, and none of us will like it if he has to."

"It sounds like I don't know the full story," Bruce said. He settled into the hot tub rather than the pool as he had planned and patted the tile next to him. "Come soak your feet, Natasha. It'll make you feel better. How much can you tell me without breaking trust with someone?"

"Not much more," she admitted, rolling up her pants. "I just wanted you to be aware of the situation. Steve, for some reason, wants Clint off the team and I worry he would kill to achieve his goal. Tony and I are watching, but without knowing Steve's mind, I cannot guess as to what he'd do."

Bruce sighed. "He probably wouldn't tell me anything either, would he? Not if I just suddenly went to him and started asking questions," he said. "Then again, Steve's not in the Tower right now and I've been in the lab for the past few days. Maybe I could make it seem innocent. Would you like me to try?"

"I don't want you hurt," Natasha said. "Not just physically, but mentally. Your place here on the team, it is one you have earned, Bruce, and I don't want you to risk it to help me out."

"I think Fury'd say something if they tried to get me taken off the team," Bruce said with a grin. "How about this, I won't set out to do anything, but if the chance comes up, I'll take it."

"You'll be careful?"

"Extremely careful," Bruce said. "I don't want to have to make Tony replace the flooring again."

Natasha grinned. "That was an excellent move by the Hulk," she said. "I know he can hear me, and for what he did to Loki, I do thank him."

"I think he enjoyed it," Bruce said. "Thanks for letting me know about a possible stresser in the Tower, Natasha. Stress and I don't always get along."

"The common floor needs painting," Natasha said.


	23. Chapter 23

Tony looked up with a groan. "No, not now," he said. "JARVIS, get the suit ready out on the launch pad. I want a special channel to Clint and you keep him locked down. I don't care who tries to get up there, no one on my floor without express vocal okay from me."

"Yes, Sir," JARVIS said. "Clint wishes you well and promises to stay on the sofa until your return."

"Damn it, I was hoping we'd have more time before we had to go out and fight," Tony grumbled. "JARVIS, don't let Clint come off the floor either. I don't want him around anyone but me or Widow until we're more sure of things. Well, speak of the beauty and she appears. Any idea what this is?"

"Something about robots," Natasha said. "Fury is sending a SHIELD sniper for us. Coulson, Bruce and Rogers will meet us on-site."

"Want a lift?" Tony asked.

"I'll make my own way. See you there."

He shook his head with a grin. "Don't mettle in the affairs of assassins," he said. "Suit me up, J."

"I'm on-comms," Tony said as he took off from his personal launch pad, trying not to think about finding Barton there drunk and heart-broken. "What's going on, Coulson?"

"I think someone got a hold of a few of your robots and modified them, Stark," Coulson replied. "Visuals should be coming in now."

Tony checked the video footage and snorted. "Not mine, I wouldn't put my name on anything so crappy," he said. "What's the play?"

"Captain America and Black Widow are going to battle them off, you provide back-up from the air, and our sniper will watch everything," Coulson said.

"I'm in place," Bruce said, joining the conversation.

"Hey there, big and green, missed you," Tony said with a smile. "How's that project of yours coming along?"

"I have life," Bruce said. "I'll show it to you when we get back. Coulson, do you want me to wait with medical or here in the alley?"

"Alley for now, Banner, thank you," Coulson said. "Widow should be on in a moment. Our sniper is joining us now. His name is Adam."

"Avengers," a strange voice said. "Nice to meet you all."

"Technically we haven't met, we've talked," Tony pointed out. He banked over the scene and sighed. "Coulson, there's more of these robots than you thought. We're going to need more ground support unless you let me down there to blast a few dozen of them."

"We can handle it, Iron Man," Steve said. "Widow, ready when you are."

Tony sighed and flicked over to his private channel with JARVIS. "Get me some specs on those things, JARVIS," he said. "I don't like the look of them, they're way too innocent looking for mad robots. There's too many of them."

"Hey, Tony," Barton said, "I know Adam. I helped train him, he's a good shot and he'll have your backs no matter what. I wish I could be there with you, but I couldn't have picked a better replacement if I tried."

"Good shot might not mean much here, Hawkeye," Tony said. "I'm seeing easily two hundred robots and there's something not right about them. Hang on." He switched back over. "Coulson, what sort of analysis did you do on these things?"

"Standard scans, they're robots that seem to want to tear apart buildings," Coulson said.

"Then why is JARVIS picking up traces of weird energy in them?" Tony asked. He swooped in low, trying for a better angle on the scans and got blasted for his efforts. "Not to mention blasters. JARVIS, is that the weird energy? Blasters?"

"No, Sir, the energy signature we are detecting is more of a type that would be found in a reactor of some sort," JARVIS said. "I do not believe it to be radioactive, however, caution is advised."

"Cap, you and Widow need to get out of there," Tony said. 

"We're fine, Stark," Steve snapped.

Tony almost growled. "I'm picking up a build-up of energy," he said. "You know what, screw it." He flew down and grabbed both Steve and Natasha by an arm and flew straight up. "Coulson, get the hell out of there."

"We're moving, Tony," Coulson said. "Area is clear of civillians."

"JARVIS, verify," Tony snapped. He landed on a roof and fell over when he let go of the pair he'd been carrying. "You need to lose some weight there, Steve."

"Area is clear, Sir," JARVIS said just as an explosions ripped through the air. "More so now."

"Tony, you okay in there?" Natasha asked, tapping on his face plate.

"Nothing a little bodywork won't cure," Tony replied. "I'm going back to the Tower. See you all at the debrief."


	24. Chapter 24

Tony left the suit in the lab, knowing that it would take him some work to get it back to battle ready status, and thought about taking the best tricks off it and building an upgrade. He'd have to weight the time involved in each and see which one would keep him hidden longer. He had a feeling that he needed to stay away from the rest of the team for a while. Not that they were going to do anything to him, Tony was afraid he might punch someone if they got around him at that moment.

"Sir, the rest of the team is assembled in the meeting room," JARVIS said. 

"Great, just what I want, debrief with a mad man trying to get my family killed," Tony said. "JARVIS, make up something for me to drink. I don't give a damn what it is, but get me something to do with my hands or else I'm going to break something."

"Your coffee will be in the kitchen, Sir," JARVIS said.

"How's Clint?" Tony asked, trying to calm down. He hadn't felt so mad since he found out about Obie's black market schemes. "Does he need anything?"

"Natasha checked on him when she returned to the Tower and he's napping," JARVIS said. "He did not move during the battle, although it seemed he wanted to a couple of times. I suspect that Natasha drugged him so he wouldn't try and join the debrief via the video monitor."

"I'll go check on him in a bit," Tony said. He picked up his coffee mug, took a deep breath and went into the meeting room. He wasn't expecting the irate super soldier waiting for him directly inside the door.

"What the hell was that, Stark?" Steve demanded.

Tony blinked. "Sorry, what was what?" he asked. "Me running a more detailed analysis than SHIELD seemed to be capable of or me saving your life from over two hundred radioactive exploding robots?"

"I told you we had it," Steve snapped. "Coulson told you we had it and you still disobeyed a direct order to stay as air support. This is why I don't want you on the team. You're too reckless."

"I'm sorry, I'm reckless?" Tony asked. He put his coffee cup down on the table. "I was reporting every single piece of information I got about those things to both you and Coulson. Hand to hand would have been great if they weren't armed with blasters and packing explosives. Now, I don't know about you, Captain, but I think being blown up because you're too god damned proud to admit you made a mistake is a bad thing. Maybe I should have just left you there and taken Widow. It certainly would have been easier on me."

"Tony," Coulson said softly from the side. "Please sit down. We need to go about this in a calm and rational manner."

"Which I was prepared to do before I was ambushed at the door," Tony said. "Let me say one more thing and then you can do calm and rational all you want to, Agent. I'm just about the stupidest person in the world when it comes to relationships and family. I don't know how to interact with people, but you know what, I'm trying. I'm doing my best to learn what's bad and what's good and I can admit when I made a mistake. Problems in our home, that's one thing, but carrying those problems out into battle. That's going to get someone killed. Now I don't know about you, but I don't have much family left so I want to protect the one I've found here. If you have problems with that, then tell me and I'll back the hell off. But you don't ever get to yell at me when I save your life. That tells you that no matter what problems I might have with you as a person, I still care enough about you to want you alive. Deal with it."

Coulson sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Thank you, Tony," he said. "Steve, please sit down. We need to talk about what happened out there, and try to work out where those robots came from. They just appeared out of nowhere."

"Wait, they appeared out of nowhere?" Tony asked, leaning forward in the chair he'd flopped into. "Like the baddies that kidnapped Clint?"

"Barton wasn't paying attention," Steve said.

"Shut up, Rogers, I'm not talking to you," Tony said. "Phil, they appeared out of nowhere?"

"As far as we can tell, yes," Coulson said. "This means something to you, Tony?"

"Yeah, it's something I saw at an expo SI hosted two years ago," Tony said. "JARVIS, pull up the list of entries and tech that was there. Someone was working on a sort of cloaking device. It was just after we met for the first time, Phil, so I think this fell through the misunderstandings."

"Meaning you lied to them again."

Tony stood up and leaned forward. "If you do not shut up, adjust that attitude and actually listen to what is being said, Rogers, I will glue that mouth of yours shut for a week," he snapped. "I'm trying to figure something out and if all you can do is cast aspersions on me, then just stop."

"The list, Sir," JARVIS said.

"While Tony works on that, we need to talk about what happened in the field," Coulson said. "Director Fury is not happy that our analysis of the situation fell so short and placed two of the Avengers into danger. He's going to talk with Tony about upgrading our scanners. Missing the blasters is bad enough, but missing the explosive is unforgivable. Natasha, you're okay?"

"Bruised," she said. "Tony wasn't gentle when he grabbed."

"Sorry, Widow, other things on my mind at the time," Tony said absently, flipping through the information on the screen.

She smiled. "It's fine, I understand, and thank you," she said. "You did save me, something I will not forget."

"Steve, you're okay?" Coulson asked.

"Not a scratch," Steve replied.

"Good, we'll talk about the command decisions later, see if there was something that could have been done differently," Coulson said. "Director Fury wants to sit in on that meeting. Tony, what do you have?"

"I don't know. Bruce, what do you think about this?" Tony asked, pointing.

Bruce joined him by the screen. "I'd say it's a cloaking device," he said. "The energy output balance is amazing. Those are some complex calculations. I'd have said it was impossible, but someone managed it."

"We have several of the kidnappers in custody," Coulson said. "I think it's time to ask them a few more questions. Tony, do you want some robot remains to study?"

"Yeah, all you can get me," Tony said. "I don't know what's going on, but it's not happening again. I'm not losing my family. Not if I can stop it."


	25. Chapter 25

"Phil, what was that all about?" Steve asked when the team had left the meeting room. "I was expecting you to back me up."

"Steve, this time around, you're in the wrong and acting like this is just driving a deeper rift into the team dynamics," Coulson replied. "You should have thanked Tony for what he did, not yelled at him for breaking protocol and leaving his assigned post. SHIELD screwed up and we didn't have the correct information. It happens and a good field commander needs to be able to adjust to situations on the fly."

"I know that, Phil, I've commanded men in the middle of a war zone," Steve snapped.

"Then what's the problem here?" Coulson asked. "Steve, I know you don't like Tony and you probably hate Clint, but they are members of your team and you should put your feelings aside when you go out into the field. I don't think you would have survived that explosion, and I'm glad we don't have to find out. Losing you would hurt me."

"I need to know that, as a commander, my people are going to listen to me when I give them an order," Steve said. "Stark and Barton won't, and there are times I wonder about Widow, too. I know she respects me, but if we had to go out again, I think she'd ignore me."

Coulson looked over from his laptop. "Right now, Steve, you deserve to be ignored because you're acting like a spoiled five-year-old that had his favorite toy taken away. I'm half expecting you to hold your breath next," he said. "Look, personal relationships aside, you're talking about wanting people to listen to you as their commander. I'm in charge of this madhouse and I expect you to listen to me when I'm telling you something. Just because we were sleeping together doesn't mean that I'm going to show you special treatment out here and in team interactions."

"Yeah, from what I heard, you used to show Barton all sorts of special treatment," Steve said.

"With my permission," Fury said, appearing on the screen behind Coulson. "Agent Barton is a special acquisition for SHIELD and he requires special handling. Not one move was taken with his missions that I was not aware of, up to and including his marriage to Coulson. You have a problem, soldier, you come to me."

"Director Fury, Sir," Coulson said, "Mr. Stark is checking on Agent Barton and then he will be joining Dr. Banner in the lab to work with the remains of the robots from the battle this morning. He believes that he's seen the technology before and might have a lead back that we can follow to obtain more information."

"Good, I'll need him to look at our scanners," Fury said. "This morning was a disaster that could have been a hell of a lot worse if Iron Man hadn't been scanning those robots. Now then, do we need to talk about attitude adjustments here, Captain?"

"I need to know that my team is going to follow my orders in the field, Director," Steve said.

Fury snorted. "The first thing any team leader needs is respect from their team," he said. "Something that, right now, you don't have because you're being a jerk to them all. I don't give a damn what your personal feelings towards people are, but when those personal feelings break up the marriage of one of my friends and leads to some of my people almost getting killed, then I make it my business. Let me tell you something, Captain, you won't like it if I have to make this my business. Do we understand each other?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Agent Coulson, you'll keep me apprised of the situation," Fury said, his tone making it very clear that it wasn't a suggestion. "I want to talk briefly about the battle this morning. Based on our initial intel, having two of our heavy hitters go in was a sound decision, but the second new information was available, that decision should have been reassessed. Why wasn't it, Coulson?"

"I was in the process of a new plan when Iron Man grabbed both Steve and Natasha and flew them out," Coulson said. "Events moved faster than I predicted, and I dropped the ball on that one. Iron Man was thinking faster than I was today."

"And why is that?" Fury asked.

"I'm concerned about Clint," Coulson admitted. "I'm sorry, Sir. Maybe you should take me off field duty until the situation is resolved. I cannot promise that I won't make the same lapse again."

Fury stared at him for a long moment. "You're the only one who can handle Stark," he finally said. "You put your personal life aside, Coulson, and you get the job done. I don't care what you have to do to manage that. As to you, Captain, right now I'm half tempted to pull you off the team and send you to counseling because you're acting like a spoiled brat who wants to play god, and I will not have that in my organization. There is only one god allowed here, and right now, he's at home. Be damn glad he is, because otherwise I might ask him to give you a good shock. You deal with whatever problems you have before you're in the field again, or it will be your last time in the field for a long time. I need the Avengers a hell of a lot more than I need Captain America as their leader."

Coulson sighed as Fury's image vanished. "Steve, do you want to talk about it?" he asked. "Fury's right, we both need to get back in the game and, right now, I might be the only one willing to talk to you."

There was a tap on the door. "I was just passing by and heard that last sentence," Bruce said, peeking in. "Does Steve need someone to talk to?"

"That's not a bad idea," Coulson said. "Bruce, I know you were going to work with Tony on the robots, but if you could talk with Steve for a bit, that would be a help. You have a different perspective on things than I do, and maybe you can get my point across better."

"I can certainly try," Bruce said with a smile. "Come on, Cap, let's go get some pie or something and talk for a bit."


	26. Chapter 26

"Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty," Tony said. "I need to ask you about your kidnappers."

"Go away, Tony," Barton said, rolling onto his side. "I'm sleeping."

"Fine, talk in your sleep then, but tell me what you didn't see before you came down off your perch the night you were kidnapped," Tony said. "This is important, Clint. It's possible we were attacked by the same group again today and I know I've seen the tech before. The name just turned out to be fake so I need a lead before Nick has all the kidnappers they're holding turned into bad guy paste."

Barton cracked an eye open. "How the hell do you come up with half the stuff you say, Tony?" he asked. "I mean, seriously, do you listen to yourself talk?"

"No, because then I would have to go back to that ridiculously overpriced shrink that Pepper is so fond of and talk about my dad again," Tony said. "So not doing that ever again. No matter how much she cries. Baddies, Clint. What didn't you see?"

"Don't you mean what I saw?" Barton asked.

"No, Clint, listen to me. You told Fury that it was like they appeared out of nowhere and everyone thought that meant they were just really well hidden," Tony replied. "Hidden so well that you weren't even able to see them. What if they weren't? What if they were really not there, like cloaked and invisible. You're the best eyes in SHIELD, Hawkeye. You don't not see things. Not in the field."

Barton rolled over and looked at Tony. "That scares me because it makes sense," he said. "They did just appear out of nowhere, Tony. I couldn't figure it out when it happened because that sort of cloaking tech should be impossible."

"Should be, but it isn't," Tony said. He held out a tablet. "Take a look at this. This is the Stark Expo from that time I was dying, which is why it took me so damn long to come up with this, but someone entered a prototype cloaking device in. They wanted me to see it, probably hoping I would buy the patent for millions and they would be able to go be mad scientists in comfort or something, but I didn't attend after the first day because of how sick I was."

"Which was a change from previous years," Barton said. "Don't you normally find talent to sponsor or hire out of those expos?"

"We do, but that was the one year we didn't," Tony said. "Well, I think Pepper hired five or ten people for R&D, but no new talent for projects. What if this is all about someone feeling slighted because they didn't catch my attention at the expo, Clint? The guy holding you in the really crappy castle, he wanted the suit. What if he didn't just want the suit. What if he wanted me."

"I don't know how you can say that so calmly," Barton said. "Yeah, I'd say the group that kidnapped me to try and get to you had cloaking devices, Tony. Which means my eyes are fine and I don't have to worry that I missed something in the field. Thanks for that. It's one less thing for me to worry about."

Tony sat down on the coffee table. "Want to talk?" he asked. "Fury is shipping in tons of broken robot parts for me to play with to try and work out where they came from, but if you need to talk, then we can totally talk."

"I think my emotions are just all over the board," Barton said. "I was actually reading Steve's file before Nat drugged me. Did you know he's only nineteen years old?"

"Looking at him now, no, never would have guessed that," Tony said. "He's got to be close to turning twenty though."

"Yeah, like a couple of months," Barton said. "I was thinking that his age was playing a factor in all of this, and I think it is. I never went to high school, so I don't know how regular teens act, but the ones I lived with in the orphanage and circus could be real bitches. I think what we're looking at is a kid that was coddled as a kid and resented it, was forced to grow up too god damned fast, and missed out on a few lessons along the way."

"I think you're right," Tony said. "It still doesn't excuse his behavior, but it might explain it a little. He really is holding playground grudges."

Barton snorted. "Kid needs a wake up call, Tony," he said. "Otherwise Nick is going to get involved in all of this and no one is going to be happy about that."

"I saw mean and green taking Cap for pie across the street," Tony said. "If Bruce can't get through to him, then I don't think anyone on the whole planet can. You want to come down to the lab and see the big, nasty robots?"

"Sure," Barton said. "I reserve the right to pretend to be deaf if Phil is there though."

"You don't have to, I just thought, might let you be involved in the investigation," Tony said. "I don't want to make this awkward for you."

"I'd like to come to the lab, Tony," Barton said. "I'm sure that Phil will try and talk to me, but he knows my 'back off' face. He won't try for long. Come on, help me up. I want to see these robots that might have more advanced tech than your suit."


	27. Chapter 27

"Tony, good, we collected as many pieces of the robots as were could and JARVIS checked to be sure nothing would be blowing up on you and.....Clint."

Barton kept his eyes fixed on the robots spread out on the various table tops Tony had in the lab. Tony picked up on the tension and started talking. "Great, that's wonderful, Coulson," he said. "I imagine you want to go and talk with the kidnappers that SHIELD is holding, maybe one of them can give you a name that won't dead end on us like the one I had did. I'll get to work on these bad boys and see what I can come up with for you."

"They didn't tell me you were in a wheelchair, Clint, are you okay?" Coulson asked softly.

"Peachy," Barton replied. "Tony, you said these were more advanced than your suit. They look like rubbish to me."

"No, you said they were more advanced than my suit, Clint. I never said anything of the sort." Tony parked the wheelchair at one of the tables and went to get two pairs of gloves. "Since you're here, you can help hold things down while I'm looking at them. One hand only though. You're babying that finger until the doctors tell you that it's happy and regrowing well. Here, these will protect your hand from sharp edges and make sure you're okay to help. Agent, did you need something else?"

"Clint, would you look at me, please?" Coulson asked. "I've been trying to work up the nerve to come and talk to you, but I don't know what I want to say."

"You asked for space, Coulson, I'm giving it to you," Barton replied. He pulled on the glove and looked at it. "What sort of material is this?"

"Special blend of my own that's not commercially viable, at least not yet," Tony said. He pulled on his own gloves and started through the pile of metal in front of him. "When these things went boom, it destroyed a lot of their insides. JARVIS, pull up the footage from the scans the suit made and load it for me. I need to figure out what we're looking for in this mess. Given their size, these robots wouldn't have a large cloaking device on them. It would be something small and it's possible it might have survived the booming process."

Barton shook his head. "I'm going to record you and make you listen to what you say, Tony," he said. "If only so you know what the rest of us have to listen to."

"I dare you," Tony said. "Agent, my lab is not water-proof, not since Dummy set off the sprinklers last time. If you're going to cry, go do it in your room. I'm working here."

"Clint, I'm sorry," Coulson said. "Tell me what I have to say to make this right."

Barton leveled a look at him. "If you think you can make this right, Coulson, then you're more deluded than I thought you were," he said. "This is so far past making right that you probably don't want me to list what I want."

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't," Coulson said.

"Three days, Hawkeye," Tony muttered.

"Right, good point," Barton said. "Coulson, I've been advised that I need to take time to think about things when the emotions are less sharp. Right now, the only thing I want is to be left alone. I was going to ignore you, probably should have, but you wouldn't pay attention to what my face was saying. I'll send you a message when I'm ready to talk."

"There's nothing I can do right now? Did Tony tell you that I've stopped seeing Steve?"

"He told me, but it's too little, Coulson," Barton said. "You knew exactly what you were doing. Everyone else wanted to blame it on staff energy, or on Loki, but it was you. You also know my history. Think about what this feels like for me, Coulson, and maybe you'll understand a little more why I'm not jumping for joy that you seem to want me back."

Coulson looked down with a sigh. "I know I broke trust, Clint, and I would do anything to be able to change that," he said. "I really want to start making it up to you. I'll leave, but please know that I haven't given up on getting you back, Clint. I love you."

Barton snorted and didn't say anything. Tony watched Coulson leave the lab and then turned back to Barton. "You okay after that?"

"No."

"Yeah, didn't think so." Tony pulled off the gloves and went over to his desk. He pulled something out and dropped it in Barton's lap. "Chocolate."

"Thanks, Tony," Barton said softly.

"Talk if you need to, Clint," Tony said. "Talk if you need to."


	28. Chapter 28

"Where do you want to start talking, Steve?" Bruce asked when they were settled in an isolated booth near the back. "I've been locked in my lab for close onto a week now, working on a project to tie in with what Tony's doing, so I'll be honest. I have no clue what's going on. Maybe you could fill me in?"

"What's Stark working on? I thought he was nursing Barton back to health."

"I don't know about that, but Tony and I are sort of co-working on ways to get water and new life into drought stricken areas of the world, so they can get crops produced and we can maybe start taking a look at a way to end hunger in less developed nations," Bruce said. "He's working on the tech side of things, missiles that will seed the clouds to produce the rain and I'm trying to engineer some stable crop grain to grow in less favorable conditions. It's slow going, but I've managed to get some worms bred that I think will help things out."

Steve sighed. "World hunger," he said. "Do you know, Bruce, when I was young we were hungry almost daily and no one wanted to do anything about it. Now I look around and I see wars and suffering, but there are groups that go out into those parts of the world to help the people there with no thought to the danger. Growing up, all I cared about was getting my next meal and fighting the Axis over in Europe. Now I don't know what to care about."

"You care about your team. You care about your friends," Bruce said. "I think you're handling things better than you think you are, Steve. We've hit a bump in the road, but there's almost nothing that can't be worked past if you really want to work past it."

"I'm sorry, but I don't believe that," Steve said. 

"No? The Axis was taking over Europe, killing millions and you waded into the middle of it and showed people that they could fight back," Bruce said. "Doing that, you showed people there was a better way if they were willing to take a risk, to stand up for what was right, and to work for freedom. With Loki, we could have rolled over and let him take over the world. Rule everyone like he wanted to, but we didn't. We found a way to beat him and his army, saved the planet, and we're all still here. Steve, no matter how you look at it, you can always work through problems. The only time you can't is when you get it in your head that it's impossible and you refuse to look for other options. Is that what's going on here?"

"No, at least, I don't think so," Steve said. "I'm the team leader. I'm the one in command in the field and responsible for everyone while we're fighting. I have to know that I can depend on everyone to do what I need them to do, and right now I can't."

"Right now there's some trouble with team dynamics," Bruce agreed. "I noticed that during the battle. Why were you so stubborn about pulling back and trying for a different attack, Steve? That didn't make any sense to me. It still doesn't, really, because I know you and I know that as much as you battle lost causes, you wouldn't put yourself or Natasha into harms way to do it."

"Honestly, I thought Stark was just running his mouth again," Steve sighed. "I've heard him come up with some of the most outrageous crap during battle that I don't know when to believe him."

Bruce leaned forward. "Steve, Tony talks. He talks like he breathes, and that's because his mind is usually working about a hundred times faster than yours or mine does. It's why he doesn't sleep at night. He cannot shut his brain down long enough to rest more than about three hours a night," he said. "I don't remember a lot of what's said during the battle, mainly because the Hulk is so happy to be out fighting, but what I do remember is that I have never once heard Tony say something that was not fact during battle. He cares about the team as much as you do and he wouldn't do anything to risk it."

"So those lizards that glowed blue, he said they were toxic to touch," Steve said. "That they spit poison. I talked to Phil after the battle and he said they weren't and they didn't."

"Actually, they were and they did, but it was a poison that took twenty-four hours to take affect," Bruce said. "We didn't realize that at the time, and JARVIS's readouts didn't show it. The SHIELD clean-up crew almost died before medical was able to figure out an antidote. All Tony knew was that they were deadly and warned us off of them."

"So why didn't Phil tell me that?" Steve asked.

"He might not have known when you were talking to him," Bruce said. "I only found out after the fact, when Tony mentioned it in passing. SHIELD is still running tests on those lizards. It's possible they might be able to distill out some new medicines from those toxins. They're not sure and it would take years, but it's exciting to think about."

"Bruce, why are you such a strong defender for Stark?"

"Because he's my friend and that's what friends do. I also know what a pill he can be," Bruce said with a smile. "Steve, I'm serious. In battle, when lives are on the line, that is the time you can count on Tony to be serious. He doesn't want to risk the team and he's going to do everything in his power to keep us safe. Remember, he flew a nuke into another dimension to save the city. He didn't expect to come back from that trip. Tony took that nuke on his back knowing it was a dead end. When we're in the Tower or in meetings, yeah, he'll joke around, but when it comes down to it, he will be your strongest support if you can just give him a chance."

"He doesn't know what it means to be a soldier."

"Of course he doesn't. He's a scientist, not a soldier. Tony was thrown into this mess just like the rest of us were. Out of everyone on the team, Steve, you're the only one really here by choice," Bruce said. "We were picked for a reason, but you chose to become who you are now. The rest of us, we didn't have a say in it. Life lead us to where we are. I think that if you questioned everyone else on the team, they'd tell you that they would have made different choices if they knew the pain we would suffer to be here, but they would finish that sentence with 'there is no where else I would rather be' with a comment about a bar in Tony's case. I think, and this is only my opinion, that you've let something blind you to your team, Steve, and until you can see clearly again, these problems are all just going to continue to pile up until there is nothing left of the team. That's when the world really will be in danger. When the Avengers are too broken and scattered to do anything to protect this planet and it's people. You don't have to do this alone, Steve, but you have to make the first move. What's it going to be?"


	29. Chapter 29

Coulson left the Tower and made his way up to the Helicarrier, not an easy task when there weren't any jets waiting on the ground, but when he walked out onto the deck and found Fury waiting for him, he wasn't surprised. "Sir?"

"I have interrogators in place to question our suspects. I have teams working to upgrade our sensors because Stark is too busy to get to them right now and it's not a project I'm comfortable waiting on," Fury said. "So I'm wondering what you're doing here."

"I need to pick up some things from my rooms, Sir," Coulson said. "I was also hoping I might be able to talk with you about the mess I've caused in my life."

Fury sighed. "This is against my better judgement, you know," he said.

"You're the only friend I really have to talk to about this," Coulson said. "At least the only one that I know would punch me if I got too far out of line again."

"You got that right," Fury said. "All right, my office, and I reserve the right to call you an idiot."

"I'd be surprised if you didn't, Sir."

Fury snorted and turned on his heel, heading inside, with Coulson a few steps behind him. Hill might have been second in command, but Coulson was the one that always helped Fury keep things running. It was rare that he didn't see and hear everything going on around the base, because he worked hard to be able to blend in and not be seen. There were a number of agents that wondered how Coulson found out about their plans when they would swear the man hadn't been near them when they were talking. It amused Fury to no end, and the higher ranking agents all knew better than to plot or plan anything around base that they didn't want the Director to know about. "All right, sit," he said, shutting the door to his office. "I'll admit I'm curious how you think you're going to fix this, Phil."

"I don't know if I can, Nick. Clint certainly seems to think there's no way to fix our marriage, but I have to try," Coulson said. "I didn't realize that Clint was in a wheelchair and I wanted to grab a couple of pillows that he's used in the past to help his back."

"They found a fracture in his leg and the only reason for that chair is his hand," Fury said. 

"It's hard to not know what's going on with him," Coulson admitted. "I've been thinking, Nick, about everything that happened since I woke up that first time, and I realized that I let my dislike of being fussed over turn into something far darker and I blamed it on Clint. Unfairly. You're right that I'm a hypocrite, Sir. I would never have let Clint bar me from his room in medical and I shouldn't have done it to him. No matter what I felt, I shouldn't have done that."

"Regrets and guilt won't get you your husband back, Phil," Fury pointed out. "You know as well as I do, hell probably better than I do, about his life right before he joined us. What that bastard boyfriend of his did to him and his self-worth. I'll be honest, I think the only reason he hasn't tried to kill himself again is because of Tony and Natasha."

Coulson looked down at his hands. "Breaking Clint's trust is the worst mistake I've ever made, Nick. He won't make eye-contact with me now," he said. "Tony brought Clint down to the lab to work on those robots and Clint wouldn't even look at me. He looked through me and past me, but he never met my eyes. He said he wants three days to think before we talk. It's a good idea, but I don't know how I'm going to wait that long."

"Phil, what are you going to do if Clint tells you he wants a divorce and for you to leave him alone?" Fury asked. "Are you going to run back to Steve Rogers and fall back into his arms again?"

"I don't know," Coulson said. "I know, you don't have to say it, that sounds weak and spineless and it isn't an answer. I know all of that, Nick, but it's the truth. I've lied too much since I woke up. I'm trying to be honest with everyone. I honestly don't know what I'll do in that instance. Steve and I talked and he said he's willing to wait for me. I think Steve believes that Clint is going to break up with me."

"You're the prize," Fury said. "Phil, I know how much you love Captain America. I think everyone on this boat, hell, probably even our prisoners, know how much you love Captain America, and I think you've let that love blind you to a few facts. I've got some files for you to read and I want you to read them all the way through. It's not going to be easy and you'll probably be sick when you see some of the information in there, but it's stuff you don't know. These are the classified, eyes-only files on Steve Rogers. Now, I say that with a bit of sarcasm because Barton managed to hack into them already. That's the only reason I'm showing them to you."

"Why would Clint be reading Steve's files?" Coulson asked.

"I don't know," Fury replied. "Just like I don't know why Steve hates Barton so much. That might be a question you need to ask. I'm getting the feeling there's a lot of hate down in Avengers Tower, and I want to know that it's being taken care of. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Sir," Coulson said. "Nick, do you think I have a chance?"

"Phil, until you're willing to say that you will never touch Steve Rogers again, I think you're screwed," Fury said. "Get your stuff, take the files and get your ass back to the Tower. I want to know what Tony is finding on these robots."

Coulson nodded. "Yes, Sir," he said.


	30. Chapter 30

"Okay, the mastermind in the castle demanding the suit isn't the engineer mastermind behind these things," Tony said, starting to sort through the piles of metal Coulson had left in his lab. "JARVIS, start taking scans for me. I want to know what these are made out of, what's inside of them, what powered them, those blasters and what sort of isotope or crap was behind the booming."

"Yes, Sir," JARVIS said.

"Whoever built these has promise, but they need to stop watching Friday night horror movies and find their own style," Tony said. "Really, robots that look like insects? That's so last decade I don't even want to think about it. This is a pincer. Careful, Clint, the edges are sharp. We'll have to test that and see if it's designed to cut through metal or other material. Agent said the robots liked tearing up buildings. Were they only doing that to get our attention, or is that their purpose? Did they need the material for something else? Okay, this joint is interesting. I think it's supposed to be a ball joint, but it's not. It still rotates though. What sort of design is this? That would be a patent right there. Why can't scientists just patent their inventions these days? Why do they have to go all evil scientist and try to take over the world?"

Barton had to admit he found the chatter soothing. It certainly kept him from his own thoughts. "It's not the world they seem to be aiming for," he pointed out when Tony paused for breath, "they all seem to want to take over New York for some reason."

"Probably the food," Tony said. "JARVIS, is this little gem what I'm looking for?"

"I believe so, Sir. Energy signature indicates there is a complex computer chip within that sphere," JARVIS said.

"Scan this bad boy," Tony said with a grin. "I want every secret wrung out of it by dinner time."

"I shall endeavor to do my best, Sir," JARVIS said dryly.

"Tony, who is JARVIS based on?" Barton asked. "I mean, I know you've had him for years, long enough for him to have developed a personality of his own, but you had to have had someone in mind when you built him."

"Our butler," Tony said softly. He kept digging through the robot remains looking for more spheres. "The man was a wonder and he always made time for me, no matter how busy he was. Died while I was away at school and I never got to say bye, so I built JARVIS and programmed him to be just like the man I remember. He's fairly close, actually. For a long time, JARVIS was my only family. Then I met Rhodey, hired Pepper, fell in with you lot and I have a larger family. I still worry that I'll do something stupid, drive you all away, but I'm trying."

"You're doing more than trying, Tony, just like Nat said," Barton grinned. "This wouldn't have been in my file, but I tried to kill myself not long after I joined SHIELD. My ex had tracked me down for one last screaming session and I was lower than low when I went out. Coulson was the agent in charge, but there was another agent handling basic things and he went out of his way to make me miserable."

Tony glanced over. "So JARVIS was right to be worried about you on the landing pad?" he asked softly.

"I wouldn't have jumped, but I might not have caught myself if I fell," Barton said. "That's what I did last time. My perch was compromised and I didn't try to save myself. Coulson was livid when he found out what happened. Tore the other agent apart and swore to me that no one else would ever handle me as long as I swore to talk with someone and not try anything like that again."

"What happened to that other agent?" Tony asked.

"He's in Siberia at one of our bases there," Barton said. "Saw him, about three years ago, didn't even remember me. Fury really does have a mean streak when his people are at risk, Tony. That's one reason I'd like to keep him out of all of this if I can. Well, from any crap that comes up after this. He's already involved, but I can tell he's holding back."

Tony placed four more spheres on the scanning table and moved some pieces to the side. "I'm curious, what would have happened if he didn't hold back?"

"I think that Steve and Phil would both be missing some very important parts," Barton said.


	31. Chapter 31

"Do you know, the first person to treat me like I'm normal, like I'm a man born in this time was Phil Coulson?" Steve asked. "He was so awkward talking with me the first time we met, and I was able to tell right off that he's a fan of Captain America. Phil managed to still treat me like a human being, someone who needed a little help sure, but a man who was where he belonged. Then I met you and you did the same thing. It's refreshing, Bruce, to know that there's people who don't see me as being lost. As being pathetic or stupid because I can't work out my phone. It makes me feel like maybe things will be okay, but then I turn around and there's Stark and Barton and they're doing something stupid or talking about things so fast that I can't keep up. It's the exact opposite of you and Phil and I hate it."

Bruce nodded. "I can imagine the things they talk about are intimidating, but have you ever asked them about it?" he asked. "Waited for a break in the stream of words that Tony always produces to ask what they're discussing?"

"I did once, and Stark made it so complicated that I could tell he didn't want me to understand," Steve replied.

"What did you ask about, just out of curiosity?"

"A show on the televisions," Steve said. "He and Barton were talking about it just before it came on, and I thought it would be a chance to spend some time with them and maybe get some new information on the time I'm living in, but Stark made it impossible, and Barton didn't even try to help. He just sat there staring at me until he shifted his focus to the screen."

"What show?" Bruce asked.

"Mythbusters, I think it's called," Steve said.

Bruce sighed. "I don't know that it's possible to explain that show. Tony might have been trying to tell you what they were planning to work on for that episode and the terms got so technical that's what caused the problems," he said. "Mythbusters is about two groups that work to prove or disprove myths from around the world. They use science to do it and it's really sort of fun, if you like explosions all the time, anyway."

"So why didn't Stark just say that? Why does he have to be so difficult all the time?"

"It's how he gets attention. Steve, none of us had good childhoods," Bruce said. "I wouldn't even say that Tony's was the worst, but you knew his father. Would you have let Howard Stark raise a kid?"

"Howard was a good man, once you got past the flirting," Steve said.

"Good man doesn't necessarily mean a good parent though. Tony's never told me about his childhood, but parts of it are public knowledge just because of who he is," Bruce said. "Howard usually ignored Tony, unless he was yelling at him for some reason. It was all down to the family butler and Tony's mother to raise him, but Tony is a genius. He needed his father's help and he never got it. Not the way he needed and the only way he could was to be difficult and annoying. Negative attention can be something when there's normally stone quiet. Tony's trying to learn how to interact with people normally, but he's struggling most of the time."

"So, what, you're saying that I should give him a break because he had a bad childhood?" Steve asked. "He doesn't know what it is to be starving and have your body trying to kill you at the same time."

"He does now," Bruce said softly. "Steve, look, all I'm saying is that there's been a lack of talking on the team and that's part of what's causing the problems we're seeing right now. Now like I said, I've been locked away working, so I don't know about any other problems, and I probably shouldn't. I don't want Tony to have to remodel again. All I'm suggesting is sitting down and talking."

Steve sighed. "I don't think that'll help anything, Bruce," he said. "You're right enough there's other problems in the Tower and Stark's mad at me because of them. Barton is too, but it's mostly his fault."

"Steve, here's a though," Bruce said. "What if you worked to call them Tony and Clint? You call me, Phil and Natasha by our first names, why do you insist on last names for the rest of the team? It's only driving a wedge into the gulf I'm worried is starting to open between all of us. Fault or no, if you take a step to show them you'd like to talk and be friends, it would show them that you're willing to work through the problems as a team. It's just something to think about."


	32. Chapter 32

Coulson didn't know what to think about Fury giving him secure eyes-only files on Steve Rogers. That SHIELD had records not released to the public didn't surprise him in the least, there were times when he thought that Fury had records of the fall of Egypt buried somewhere in a cave somewhere. That he had never seen them or known about the files was a bit more of a surprise. Fury knew how much Coulson loved Captain America. As the director pointed out, there were probably few people that didn't know how much Coulson loved Captain America. Coulson knew that it wasn't Captain America in the files, it was Steve Rogers, and the information was meant to shock him in some way.

He took the things back to the Tower, dropping the files off on his floor, and went down to the lab. Tony and Barton were both still working and didn't pay him any attention when he walked in. Coulson left the pillows off to the side where they would be safe and left, taking a minute to stand and just look at his husband, something he hadn't allowed himself to do in longer than he could honestly remember. Barton had lost weight, not a surprise given they'd rescued him from a kidnapping, with dark circles under his eyes and a pinched look Coulson hadn't seen in years. The younger man was favoring his left hand, not a surprise given his injuries, but didn't seem to be in any extreme pain. It was one point that always bothered Coulson, and one he never was able to break Barton of. Barton would hide how much pain he was in to keep attention off of him. Hawkeye liked attention, Barton wanted to hide in the shadows and never be seen. With a small sigh, Coulson left and went back to his floor.

The floor that felt empty, even with everything there, because the parts that made it a shared home were gone. He'd boxed up the things he'd bought for his husband over the years and given them to Natasha to add to the pile of things she was holding for Barton on her floor. It was always possible Barton didn't want them, didn't want any reminders of Coulson around him, but they were gifted with the intent that Barton would have them forever. Coulson sat down on the sofa and rubbed his face with both hands. He made such a mess of everything. He couldn't even pinpoint the exact moment when things started to sour, but had a feeling it wasn't long after Steve came to start sitting with him a few hours every day. Barton was always in the room, always pleasant, usually sitting quietly reading while Coulson and Steve talked about whatever it was they had to talk about that day. Thinking back on it, Coulson realized that Steve usually darted darker looks towards Barton several times whenever he was in the room, but at the time he hadn't thought anything of it. Pain medicine had made it hard to think over small details, one reason Coulson hated it, and he thought he'd thought it was just Steve wondering if it would be possible to get Barton to leave for a bit, to get out and walk a little so he didn't get sick too. Looking back with clear eyes, he thought there was hatred in those glances.

"JARVIS, would it be possible for me to see some footage from when I was in medical?" he asked.

"If you wish," JARVIS replied, tone cool, but not cold. "What section do you wish to view, Agent Coulson?"

"Let's look at the first week whenever Steve was visiting me," he said. "I want to see if I'm remembering something or not. I'll need the angle that shows Steve's face best."

"It will take me approximately ten minutes to put the footage together for you, Agent Coulson," JARVIS said.

Coulson leaned back and looked up at the ceiling. He usually didn't when he was talking with JARVIS, but wanted to feel like he was looking at the AI. "You're mad at me too, huh, JARVIS?" he asked.

"I do not have emotions, Agent Coulson," JARVIS said. 

"I don't believe that anymore, JARVIS. I've lived here too long to even think that you don't have emotions," Coulson said. "You might not have them programmed into you, but they're in there and they're a part of you. It's okay, I'm mad at me too, now."

JARVIS was quiet for a moment. "May I ask what has changed, Sir?" he asked.

"I got a good look at Clint's eyes. They're just like they were when he first came to SHIELD, back when I made him two promises," Coulson replied. "I swore no one else would ever handle him and that I would always come for him no matter what happened in the field. In one day, I broke both those promises."

"If I may be so bold, you broke more than promises."

"I did and I hate myself for that," Coulson sighed. "JARVIS, do you know what's in these files? Fury said Barton hacked them, which means they're scanned, which means Tony probably has been into them."

"I do, Sir, I helped Clint obtain access to the information," JARVIS said.

"Tell me one thing, am I going to want to be closer to the bathroom when I'm reading these?"

"That may not be a bad idea, Sir," JARVIS said. "There is information there which may make you hate yourself even more than you do now. If you become distressed, is there someone you wish for me to call for you?"

"Yeah, Tony," Coulson said. 

"Noted, Sir. I have the video files ready for your viewing. Would you like them routed to the television or your tablet?"

"Tablet, please. I need to be able to see it close in," Coulson said. He pushed up and went over to his desk, picking up the tablet and dreading what he was about to see play across it. "All right, JARVIS, play the footage for me."

Coulson watched closely, noting every eye flick away from his face, and his heart sank when he realized he had indeed overlooked something vital. Steve Rogers hated Clint Barton, and Coulson, drugged and worshiping his hero, walked right into the trap. "JARVIS, will you route this to Tony with a note that he needs to watch Steve's eyes, please?" he finally asked. "He needs to see this and I don't know if he has."

"As you wish, Sir. Are you planning to start on those files now?"

"I was going to have some dinner first."

"I do not believe that to be a wise idea, Sir," JARVIS said. "When you read those files, you will likely feel extremely ill. Having food in your system will likely only make your symptoms that much worse. I will have some soup on order for you for when you are finished, if you still feel you need to eat."

"That bad, JARVIS?" Coulson asked with a sigh.

"I am afraid so, Sir."

"No sense putting it off then," Coulson said. He left his tablet on the desk and went back to pick up the files. "Dark knowledge beckons. Call Tony for me if you think I'm in trouble."

"Noted, Sir."


	33. Chapter 33

Tony looked up from the project he was working on, checking the pincers on different materials while the electronics were scanning, when the monitor near him turned on. "What's up, J?" he asked softly.

"Agent Coulson asked me to route you these clips, Sir," JARVIS replied in a whisper. "With a request that you watch Steve's eyes."

With a glance over at the sofa where Barton was asleep, Tony put everything down and sighed. "All right, J, play it through," he said. "Even though I think I know what I'm going to see here."

"As do I, Sir. Agent Coulson has just realized that Steve hates Clint," JARVIS said as the footage played. "He has also been given those files on Steve that Clint hacked into."

"Ah hell, he really doesn't need to be reading those right now," Tony sighed. "Keep an eye on Clint for me, JARVIS. I don't think he's going to wake up for a bit, but it's possible he might and I don't want him trying to get up on his own."

"I shall inform him what is happening, Sir," JARVIS said. "You are planning to speak with Agent Coulson?"

Tony stepped into the elevator and pushed the button for Coulson's floor. "I think he's going to be sick when he sees what all is in there, and I think maybe I can help talk him down a little."

"I'm curious how the information never came to his attention before this, given his utter fascination with Captain America," JARVIS said.

"The files were hidden deep," Tony said. He walked out and looked around the floor. "His room or the other one?"

"His, Sir."

"Agent, it's Tony. I normally would just walk in, but I don't want you to shoot me or taze me or anything like that," Tony said as he walked towards the bedroom. "I can understand what Nick is trying to do here, but throwing that information into the middle of this cluster isn't what needed to happen right now."

Coulson looked up from the file he was reading, face pale. "He's a baby, Tony," he said, voice cracking on the last word.

"Yeah, in age anyway," Tony said. He sat down next to Coulson on the floor and gently pulled the files away. "Let me break it down for you, just like I did for Clint. Steve was sick as a kid. His mother fussed over him constantly, forcing him to eat what little they had, whether he was hungry or not. She died, he felt guilty but pushed it down and hid it deep in him. Yeah, he was sickly, but that fighting spirit of his, it pulled him through and then he's suddenly Captain America and everyone loves him."

"So when he heard Clint telling me I needed to eat more, he remembered what happened with his mother and reacted, trying to help me when no one would help him," Coulson said. "How did I not catch this, Tony?"

"Come here," Tony said. He let Coulson settle in against him. "Look, I'm still furious at you, but you're our big strong Agent and I'll admit that seeing you this upset and broken has thrown me, Phil. What you did, there's no excuse for it. No words that can make it better. You know all that, but you're still willing to try. Clint though, he's been telling me about his suicide attempt. I'm worried he's going to try something again, and the fact that you drove him to that, it's got me messed up a little inside. It's like, suddenly, I'm having to be the adult in the Tower, and I'm no good as an adult. Ask anyone. Ask Pepper, she'll tell you."

"I'm not asking the team to forgive me, Tony. Right now, I don't even know what all Bruce knows, but I'm terrified that the Hulk will see me and come out," Coulson said. "As much as I deserve to be hurt for what I did, I don't know if I'm brave enough to face that."

"We're trying to keep Big and Green from finding out," Tony said. "Bruce included, although I don't know what all Steve is telling him right now. They're still over having pie and tea. It would worry me, except I think it means that Bruce might be making himself heard. You're not stupid, Agent. You did probably the single stupidest, most self-centered act you could and I honestly think you lost one of the best men alive in the process. That's the other half of this. You only just realized about the hate. I saw it the first time Natasha mentioned Clint."

Coulson lifted his head off Tony's shoulder. "Why does Steve hate Clint so much, Tony?" he asked. "Why would he even do something like this?"

"Clint is amazing all on his own, Agent. No special project. No illnesses, at least none that were in the files Fury gave to Steve," Tony said. "Yeah, Clint had a messed up life, but look where he is now. One of the top snipers in the world, an agent in full and good standing with SHIELD, respect of the two men Steve looks up to the most. I think that Steve hates everything about Clint without knowing who Clint even is, because he's never given him a fair chance."

"Playground tricks and jealousy," Coulson said softly, "and I walked right into all of it, destroying my husband in the process. I don't know if I can ever forgive myself for this, Tony."

"I'm not going to lie to you, Agent. You and Steve need to have a blunt talk about his attitude, his actions, and, frankly, how he's treating others," Tony said. "It's not going to be easy or comfortable, but until you do, he's going to hold onto every one of this angry little misconceptions and it's only going to split the team apart."

"What about Clint?"

"He's making a list of things to talk to you about," Tony said. "I don't know any more because I haven't seen it and I don't want to. That's between the two of you up until the point he asks me to jump in the middle."

"You need to be in the middle of this, Tony. You already are, in a way," Coulson said. "Thank you for taking care of him. Those pillows I left, they're for his back when he's in the wheelchair. They help keep it from hurting. Will you make sure he uses them, please? I don't want him hurt any worse."

"I'll give him the choice to use them," Tony said. "JARVIS, is Clint still asleep?"

"He is, Sir," JARVIS replied. "Natasha has joined him."

Tony nodded. "Okay, I'm going to see if I can get Agent cleaned up and tucked away first," he said. "God, J, me being the adult. Never thought I would see the day come."

"Neither did I, Sir," JARVIS said, dryly.


	34. Chapter 34

"Nat, where's Tony?" Barton asked, blinking a few times.

"He's with Coulson," Natasha replied. "JARVIS said something about files."

"Ah hell, JARVIS, did Phil just find out how old Steve Rogers really is?" Barton asked.

"He did, Sir," JARVIS said. "He did not take the news well at all."

Barton sat up with a wince. "I can't imagine he did, no matter what the age of consent is, he considers anyone under the age of 21 off limits," he said. "God, this is all we need, Phil seeing himself as a rapist on top of all the other problems in the Tower. Nat, get me up there."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I'm the only one in this whole building that knows what the problem really is, Nat," Barton said. "Either you get me up there, or I'm taking myself and to hell with my injuries. I'm furious at Phil for his actions, don't trust him, but I don't want him hurting like this."

She looked into his eyes for a long minute. "Okay."

"JARVIS, let Tony know I'm coming up," Barton said. "I don't want an argument when I get there. I know what the hell I'm doing."

"Understood, Sir."

Barton didn't say another word as Natasha helped him into the wheelchair or as they were walking to Coulson's floor. He wouldn't admit to how fast his heart was going, and was calling himself all sorts of names for what he was about to do, but Barton knew Phil Coulson better than anyone in the Tower. No matter how messed up Barton was, he wasn't going to let Coulson beat himself up over something he hadn't know about.

"Clint, you're sure?" Tony asked at the door to the elevator.

"Yes."

"Okay, it's your choice," Tony said. "I've got him, Widow. Will you go and spy on Bruce and Steve for me? I just want to make sure we don't have to go get the Hulk out of the cafe. Don't engage, just see if they're okay."

She nodded. "Meet you on the common level when you're done here."

"Clint, you tell me if you need to leave," Tony said, pushing the chair towards the bedroom. "I get why you're here, but this is going to confuse matters even worse."

"I know. I can't even really explain why I'm here, Tony. I just have to be."

"I get it." Tony pushed the door open and parked Barton next to the bed. "Phil, you have company."

Coulson rolled over and sat up so quickly he almost fell out of bed. "Clint."

"You shouldn't have read those files, Phil," Barton said. "You didn't need to know that Steve is only nineteen, and don't think I'm not going to have some sharp words for Fury the next time I see him. I don't give a damn what you're telling yourself, you didn't rape him. He is of legal age to consent to all actions in any state in the country and every country in the world."

"He's so young, Clint. He's only a baby. He should be with someone his own age, not with someone like me," Coulson said. 

"He looks and acts older than he is. That's what happens in a war zone. Kids grow up too god damned quick," Barton said. "Same thing happens when you've got no money and are struggling to stay alive, and you also miss a few important life lessons along the way."

"Like how to deal with people you hate as an adult rather than a teenager," Coulson said. "I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner, Clint. I played right into his hands."

"We're not talking about that right now. We're talking about how you are not going to beat yourself up over this," Barton said. "Normally I wouldn't be arguing this point with you, but for Steve Rogers, his age is just a number. He grew up in a war, Phil. With one glaring exception, he's your equal and that's what you need to remember. You haven't hurt him any."

"I just hurt you," Coulson said. "Clint, I can't look past what I did. You say that Steve is an adult. You know my feelings on age and sex. You know what I'm thinking right now."

"That is the only reason I'm here," Barton said. "You also know what Fury is doing, Phil. You're not so blinded by your emotions that you haven't realized what he wanted by showing you those files. Files I will be taking with me because they are only going to hurt you worse the more you read them."

"There's not much that could make me feel worse," Coulson said.

Barton snorted. "Yeah, well, we're not risking it," he said. "Tony, you stay until he's asleep. I don't want any mistakes with pain killers."

"Yeah, no problem," Tony said. "I'll clean out the bathroom and the kitchen while he's asleep and JARVIS can monitor as well."

"Good, thank you," Barton said. "Phil, you may have a lot to make up for, but Steve's age is not one of them. You don't let this go, our talks are going nowhere and you're only going to hurt me worse. It's time for you to work out what you want."


	35. Chapter 35

"You want to talk about it, Agent?" Tony asked from the bathroom. He'd found an old shoe box in Barton's bedroom and was packing away anything that could be dangerous to Coulson. "It's like I told Clint, I'm working to learn how to be a friend. I guess it's possible to be furious at someone and still want to help them at the same time. Clint proved that. Whatever you tell me, it goes no farther."

"My own personal standard for sex, Tony, is twenty-one or older," Coulson said from the bed. He was sitting up with his head in his hands. "I don't give a damn what the age of consent is in the state. You know what I mean. If I catch someone in direct violation of the law, I'll arrest them and they're lucky to not have the crap beat out of them as well, but I have never once before slept with anyone under twenty-one years of age. Fury knows it. That's why he gave me the folders. He knew what my reaction to Steve's age would be and that I wouldn't touch him again."

"I'm not going to try to make you feel better, because nothing can," Tony sighed. He came out and sat down at the foot of the bed. "But I know a little of what you're going through. I've slept with a lot of people, Agent. There was one man, back when I was at school, that hunted me like I was the only prize he ever wanted. I was more interested in the project I was working on at the time, but I finally gave in when he just wouldn't leave me alone. Then the cops got involved." Tony chuckled almost bitterly. "Howard about went through the roof when he found out, but all the anger was directed right at me. Not because I'd slept with a guy, nope, he didn't care about that. He cared that I put the Stark name in a negative light."

Coulson looked up. "That's when you met Rhodey for the first time, isn't it?" he asked. "Just after your partner was arrested for rape and child abuse."

"Yep. The point I'm trying to make here, Phil, is that when it all came to light, when everyone looked at me with pity, I decided that I wouldn't ever sleep with anyone that looked to be under eighteen," Tony replied. "In fact, there's been times when I've had Happy check them out for me to be sure they didn't have a fake ID on them. I never wanted to put anyone through what I went through. I didn't want to become that monster hunting children for pleasure."

"Tony, I know I don't have a right to ask you anything, but I'm curious about something."

"Right now, let's put the whole argument aside, Phil. Look, I'm going to be furious regardless because you've really screwed Clint up, but you need me too," Tony said. "I'll figure out a way to balance this. What's on your mind?"

"You. You brag about being a genius, playboy, whatever the hell else it is you include in all of that," Coulson said. "You're probably one of the most shallow men I've ever met in my life, and I'm wondering if it's all an act. This, Tony, I think this is what Pepper saw, isn't it?"

Tony sighed and looked down at the box in his lap. "This is how I was in school and it's how people expect me to act," he said. "I like the challenge of it, seeing how many people I can fool. It's something to do when all I was doing was galas and parties and events. Yeah, I'm a diva. I admit that, Phil, and I'm not going to change. People are willing to overlook and excuse a lot when you have money. I also happen to be handsome and a genius, so I get three passes. You guys though, the team moving in and they've been showing me that I don't always have to be like that. That maybe it's okay to show other people that I care about them. I'm trying, Phil. I'm really trying hard to keep our family together and it's falling apart around me and I don't know what to do."

Coulson moved, kneeling next to Tony so he could pull him into a hug. "You have done everything right, Tony," he said. "You've protected Clint. You've tried to talk to Steve. You're helping me. Plus you're working on projects to help the world and SHIELD. I've lost my place as the anchor in the team, Tony, and I think you've stepped in without even knowing it. You keep going like you are now and you'll be just fine."

"What about you?" Tony asked. "What can I do to help you?"

"I have to come to terms with a lot of things and that's going to take me a long time," Coulson replied. "JARVIS will watch me tonight, Tony. I'll try to sleep, but I probably won't. You need to go take care of Clint. Make sure he's okay because I hurt him badly. He needs you more than I do."

"J?" Tony said.

"I will keep watch, Sir," JARVIS said.

"Okay then." Tony took a deep breath. "Call if you need me, Agent. Somehow, and I don't know how, I think Clint understands."

"He does, and so do you."


	36. Chapter 36

"Where's Steve?" Natasha asked sliding in next to Bruce.

"Hey Natasha," Bruce replied with a smile. "He went for a walk. I'd like to think that I managed to get through to him about a few things, but I don't think that I did. Can I ask you something? Why does he say it's all Clint's fault?"

Natasha sighed. "Let's go for a walk of our own, Bruce, and I'll fill you is as best I can," she said. "I'd rather be in the park if the Hulk decides he wants to come out and break something because of all of this."

"You know he likes you, right? He's not going to hurt you."

"I know, but I'm still going to flinch should he come out to see us," she said. "Hulk can be intimidating at best, and I do know how fond he is of Clint. I'm a little worried that he's going to try and get involved with this."

Bruce offered an arm once they were out on the sidewalk. "I think we're all fond of Clint. Well, everyone but Steve," he sighed. "I'm guessing this is all common knowledge by this point and you've been keeping me out of it to be safe?"

"Exactly, but you need to know. Clint and Phil are married," Natasha started. "Have been for ten years and, when Phil woke up after the Battle, he told medical he didn't want his husband next to him any longer, and Clint was shut out. He has ways around it, but Steve was still there at the bedside and saying some very not nice things about Clint. Phil never defended him."

"Clint was in the vents, wasn't he?" Bruce asked. "I've heard him up there a few times, so I know he was letting me know he was there. I've heard him move silently, if that makes sense. The Hulk can hear things I can't, so I generally know when there's someone close in, even if they're staying quiet. Phil and Steve must have fallen into bed together then. It's obvious now that I know all the pieces. What happened next?"

"Tony. He has been more nurturing then I expected him to be for everything," Natasha replied. "Tony has been able to explain why Steve hates Clint, has likely hated him from the moment he first opened the folder on the team, and why he's trying to get Clint kicked off the team. When I left the Tower to check on you, Tony was caring for Phil who was having a breakdown over some information given him by Fury."

"Everyone says Tony can't be serious," Bruce said with a wry grin. "I really thought I was going to be the only one lucky enough to see that."

"When you first met on the Helicarrier?"

"Yeah, he was still joking, still Tony, but I could see how seriously he was taking the situation," Bruce said. "I have never had anyone believe in me so fiercely before, not even myself. It's like he looked past the Hulk's anger and saw the desire to protect in there, something no one else has ever been able to do before."

Natasha nodded. "He maintained that belief until you arrived at the Battle," she said. "He never had a second of doubt you would come to help us fight. I had my doubts about Tony, doubts from another mission because his masks were so firmly in place, but now he's letting me see beneath them. See the depth and fears that are under those masks, and I only have more respect for him now. I think, until Steve proves himself to be capable of leading us, Tony will be stepping into that void. Just as he did in the last battle."

"That's not going to be easy, not with how angry Steve is at everything," Bruce said with a sigh. "Have Phil and Clint had a chance to really sit down and talk about things?"

"Not yet. Clint, he was hurt badly many years ago," Natasha said. "Before I first met him, and as a result of that hurt, he doesn't trust easily. Phil Coulson, he not only broke his vows, he broke trust with Clint, and that, more than anything, is what's going to be the hardest to heal. If it even can be. Clint is shattered, Bruce. You won't notice it, his own masks are too powerful, but inside, where it really counts, he is a million pieces needing to be glued together again, and I don't know that anyone will be able to this time."

"So we've got a leader that's having what equates to a temper tantrum over something we're still not positive about, but think it's jealousy combined with something causing him to hate our sniper," Bruce said. "On the other side we have a broken archer, a guilty husband, a genius trying to solve four problems at one, you watching over everyone, me trying not to kill, and a director ready to shoot us all and solve the problems later?"

She almost grinned. "Fury is on Clint's side," Natasha said. "He's made his position clear, so it's up to us to either fix this or he will. As I have said, we don't want Fury to fix this for us."

"I'll believe that one," Bruce said. "Let me know if there's anything else I can do, Natasha. I know you have to keep me on the edges of things, but at the same time, I want to help. Even if it's only keeping an eye on Steve. He still seems to like me well enough."

"For now," Natasha said with a sigh. "We do not know what tomorrow will bring to us."

"Hopefully some resolutions," Bruce said.


	37. Chapter 37

Coulson woke with a start when he heard someone moving around out in the kitchen. "JARVIS," he whispered. "Who's out there?"

"Captain Rogers is attempting to make breakfast, Sir," JARVIS replied in a low tone. "He is not having much luck as Mr. Stark took all your knives and sharp items with him last night as a precaution."

"Guess there's no point in putting this off, is there?" Coulson sighed. He changed into a pair of jeans and a polo before heading out towards the kitchen. "Steve, what are you doing here?"

"Trying to make breakfast, but there's a bunch of stuff missing," Steve said. "Where's your nice knife set?"

"With Tony," Coulson said.

"Why the hell does Stark have your knives?"

"Because he's worried about me," Coulson said. "Justifiably too. Steve, why didn't you ever tell me how old you are?"

Steve looked over in surprise. "Because it's not important," he said. "I'm an adult. I've taken men into battle in an impossible war and brought them all back, Phil. Age is just a number, it's not an influence in life unless you let it be."

"I do let it be," Coulson said. "I have never once, since I turned twenty-one, slept with anyone under that age because I believe they need to be with people closer to their own age. Had I known your age, Steve, no matter what happened between us while I was in medical, I would never have touched you."

"So you're saying that because I'm not twenty-one, I'm off-limits for sex?" Steve asked.

"To me, yes," Coulson replied. "There's nothing wrong with being nineteen, Steve. I won't compromise on my personal standings for anyone."

"Sounds to me like someone fed you information."

"Director Fury gave me the remaining files on you, yes," Coulson said. He sat down on the sofa with a sigh. "Steve, we need to talk anyway. I was planning to have a talk with you before I found out how old you are. Why do you hate Clint so much?"

"I don't hate Barton."

"Steve, come sit down across from me, look me in the eye and say that again," Coulson said, slipping into handler mode. "Because I've seen something different in your eyes. So either you're lying to me right now, or I've lost my edge and need to retire from the field. Which is it?"

Steve jumped at Coulson's tone. "You're not my handler," he said. 

"Yes I am. I handle the Avengers and you are still very much an Avenger," Coulson said. "I want to help you, Steve, but until you're able to look me in the eye and tell me the truth, then I have to assume that what I've seen on video, in person, and in report is the truth. It's dangerous to assume things like that, but I can't do anything until you help me."

"Did you talk to Barton like this?" Steve flopped down in the chair next to the sofa with a huff.

"When the situation warranted it, yes," Coulson said. "Clint and I were always SHIELD agents above anything else, and he was my asset. As his handler, it was my job to be sure that he was giving me full, complete and honest information. So answer my question, why do you hate Clint Barton so much?"

"He's a goof-off that relies on his eyes to get him places," Steve said. "He's a liability both in the field and to SHIELD and he should have been terminated after the battle with Loki."

Coulson bit back all the angry words that wanted to escape. He wanted to defend his husband, defend him like he hadn't when Coulson was in medical, but at that moment he had to be agent first and husband second. Praying that Clint wasn't back in the vents, he took a deep breath and looked right at Steve. "Have you taken a chance to look past paperwork and lies at the man in front of you, Captain Rogers?" he asked.

"What?"

"You heard me. Right now you are being a petulant little boy trying to break apart something that you don't understand," Coulson said. "I'm not a prize to be won, Captain. I am an agent of SHIELD ranked higher than you could ever imagine, or hope to achieve. SHIELD doesn't terminate agents because of brain-washing, possession, alien kidnapping, or mind-control. We figure out a way to get them back, unlock whatever the hell was done to them, and get them help to come to terms with their actions while not themselves. Agent Barton was returned to us with bruises, he has debriefed to the head of SHIELD himself and was cleared of all charges and crimes he might have committed while under the influence of Loki the Trickster God. He is the best shooter in the world and he earned his place on this team, Captain. What did you do to get here?"

"What?"

"You keep saying that you're team leader, that everyone should be looking up to you," Coulson said. "Until you break this mindset that you are the best person on the team and actually look at the people you are working with, look past the masks they have in place to survive in this world, then you are the last person they are going to take orders from. They won't take orders from me either, because I broke trust with them all, but I've realized my mistakes and I'm trying to make amends to everyone. It's going to take me years, but I'm going to do it because they deserve my respect and honesty more than I deserve theirs."

Steve stood up. "You just don't get it do you, Phil?" he demanded. "My whole life was spent sick and in fear of death. Every second of that, but I still clawed my way into service and a place where I could finally help others. I had to work for everything I have and I lost it all when I went into the ice. I woke up in a world I don't recognize, no one around that I know, and for what? To lead a group of people in fights against aliens? You should have thanked me when I got Barton off your back about eating."

"No, I shouldn't, because Clint was well within his right to lecture me like that," Coulson said. "I've done it to him enough, he was just doing what he thought was right as my husband. I'm the one that failed there, Steve. That is all on me because I was weak. You understand what it's like to be weak, don't you?"

"Are you trying to get me to punch you?" Steve demanded. "Because right now I will."

"No, you won't," Coulson said.

"You want to bet on that?"

Coulson smiled. "The only thing I'm seeing is a kid throwing a temper tantrum," he said. "You need to learn to listen, Steve. That's your real problem, you get an idea in your head and there's no shaking it out again. Go back to your floor and read the files Fury gave you on the team. Look at the sort of life Clint had before SHIELD found him. Don't skip over it because it doesn't matter to you. You want to be team leader, then you have to know your team inside and out."

Steve took a swing at Coulson and found himself on the floor pinned so well that he couldn't move. Coulson snorted. "I told you you couldn't punch me," he said. "I've learned from the best in SHIELD, Steve, but you didn't know that about me. You thought I was just as weak and pathetic as Clint, didn't you? Just a paper-pusher that doesn't know how to fight. Open your eyes and see what's really there, Steve. Right now the only one you're hurting is yourself."


	38. Chapter 38

"You almost broke my arm," Steve exclaimed, trying to get up. "Let me go."

"No, you're going to lie there and listen to me," Coulson said calmly. "I'm still not cleared to be back on full duty, Steve, and you just tried to hit me hard enough to put me back in medical. I'm curious what's going on here, but I'm going to get at least one thing past this thick head of yours. Stop struggling and listen to me."

Steve went still. Coulson adjusted his grip and settled in a little more comfortably. "There now, if you move, you will break your arm in three places and dislocate your shoulder in the process," he said. "Not to mention what I will do to your back as you move. I know you hate Clint Barton, Steve. You're right, I don't know what it is to lose everything familiar to me, I don't know that anyone on the team does. Bruce might, you should ask him about that, talk with him and see what he has to say. I walked right into your trap to try and get Clint kicked off the team, but the rest of it, that's all my fault. I was weak, yes, but there's no excuse for what I did. I hurt my husband badly enough that he won't even make eye contact with me. I was weak, I was stupid, and I took what I wanted with no thought to how it would hurt Clint. I could try to justify the affair, try to balm my conscious, but I won't lie to myself anymore, Steve. When I went into your arms, into bed with you, I knew exactly what I was doing. I could have, should have, said no, but I didn't."

"Why didn't you?" Steve asked.

"It was intoxicating to have you so focused on me," Coulson replied softly. "To be allowed to see Captain America as a real person, as Steve Rogers was such a privilege, one I never thought I'd be able to have. I felt like the luckiest man on the planet when you kept coming back to see me like you did, and I let it blind me to everything else. I didn't think, I acted, for the first time in my life I acted without thinking, and in the process, I hurt the one man I swore I would love until the day we both died. I can't tell you how much I hate myself right now."

"You said that Barton won't even look at you, what makes you think you'll be able to get him back?" Steve asked.

"I don't know that I will be able to," Coulson admitted. "If I were in his place, with his past, I would be running so fast in the other direction that I would be a blur in the distance. I'm having to work to be able to trust my own judgement again, Steve. It takes two to have an affair. I know that. I also know that you knew I was married. Why did you want to sleep with me?"

"Because you can do better than a man that yells at you when you're sick and hurt," Steve said.

Coulson sighed. "That's where you're wrong. I could never do better than a man that yells at me to eat when I'm sick," he said. "That proves that he loved me, that he wanted me to eat to get better."

"You didn't need the extra stress on your stomach and already strained system," Steve said. "He should have left you alone and let you do what you wanted."

"I did do what I wanted, Steve. I abandoned my husband for my childhood idol and destroyed my life in the process," Coulson said. "I said yes when I should have said no and I hate myself for that. I know everyone thinks I'm trying to get back into the team's good graces by talking and making excuses, but I'm serious when I say that I hate myself for what I've done. That's one of the reasons Tony took my knives and all the pills in the apartment."

"You'd never kill yourself," Steve said.

"No? I thought about it last night," Coulson said. "When I saw your age, realized what I'd done to compromise my personal moral code, thought about how badly I've hurt everyone I love. I thought about it. But that would be a coward's way out. I have to face everyone knowing that they know the truth and take their judgement of me because that is the only way I can start making things right. I think the only reason Natasha hasn't come after me is I'm still listed as recovering from Loki's attack. Once I'm fully healed, I'm sure she'll be pulling me into the ring to spar again. You're not the only one that has to make amends to the team, Steve. I'm just as in the wrong as you are. The difference is that you have more of a chance to regain their trust. You need to read the files, really read them and see what everyone lived through before they came to SHIELD. Then you need to talk with each of them and start showing that you believe in them both in the field and out of it again. Just like you did at the Battle, Steve. Show them that you're an adult. Right now, all they see is a kid sulking because he had a bad childhood. You're not the only one in the Tower that did, but you're the only one letting it affect you so badly."

"What do you have to do to get them to trust you again?"

Coulson sighed and was suddenly back on the sofa. "I may never be able to be that lucky again," he said. "JARVIS, lock Steve off the floor, please. I don't want him back here again."

"Yes, Sir," JARVIS said.


	39. Chapter 39

Tony looked up from the scans on the cloaking devices when there was a soft, pained moan from across the room. Barton was back on the sofa in the lab, asleep, but he'd been shifting his weight. Biting his lip, Tony crossed over to the sofa and looked down at the other man. "Clint, it's Tony," he said. "I'm going to touch your forehead, so don't try to kill me or anything," he said. "I just want to see if you're running a fever or not, okay? You're looking kind of flushed and it's not that hot in here. If anything, you should probably have kept the blanket over you." He pressed a hand to Barton's forehead and winced. "Yep, fever city. You need to wake up now, Clint. Come on, birdy, open your eyes for me."

"No," Barton muttered.

"Okay, that's something," Tony said. He sat down and carefully picked up Barton's injured hand. "That's something else. JARVIS, get Happy to pull the car around front and alert SHIELD medical. I'm bringing Barton in and he's coming in hot."

"Yes, Sir."  
****

"Blood poisoning," the doctor said later that night, once the flurry of activity around Barton calmed down. "You did good to get him in here, Mr. Stark. Another day and he would have lost the hand, maybe even his arm. We'll need to keep him here for at least two days to be sure that we've managed to knock the infection back."

"How did you miss this?" Fury asked, staring at the doctor.

"It was always a possibility that the reconnection surgery wouldn't work," the doctor replied. "Agent Barton promised to tell us if his hand hurt an abnormal amount and we prescribed a range of medications for him to take while recovering."

"Which he's been taking," Tony said. He was sitting next to the bed holding Barton's good hand. "He hasn't said anything about his hand hurting him. His ribs, yeah, they've been aching, but nothing about his hand. Clint's been sticking close to me, so I know he would've told me the truth if he was hurting again. All of that and he lost the finger anyway."

Fury moved over and put a hand on Tony's shoulder. "He'll be able to compensate for it," he said softly. "Our Hawk is the best in the business. You're going to stay with him, Tony?"

"Widow is," Tony sighed. "I'll stay the night, but I've got the scans done on that cloaking tech and I want to finish pulling it apart. There has to be a weakness in there, one that I can exploit to help us find these bastards before they de-cloak."

"Normally I would think you'd be excited for the challenge," Fury said.

"I would, but I can't help but think that Clint needs me more," Tony admitted. "I didn't realize being a friend meant so many emotions, Nick. I'm trying to learn what to do, trying to do the right thing, but I'm scared I'm going to make a mistake, and that one mistake will be all it takes to push Clint over the edge for good."

"We won't let that happen," Fury said. "You're doing fine, Tony. Now then, I have Coulson outside with questions. You take care of Clint and I'll take care of Phil."

Tony nodded. "Don't be too hard on Agent, Nick. He was borderline suicidal last night because of those folders you gave him," he said. "I think that Phil has realized his mistake and is trying to fix it. You guys are giving me chances to make things right when I screw up. I know this is a totally different level, but maybe you could ease up on him a little? Losing Agent, no matter what's happening between them personally, that would kill Clint. We all need to come through this alive."

"I'll talk him down," Fury said. "Thanks for the heads-up, Tony. I'll check back in tomorrow to see how you're both doing."


	40. Chapter 40

"Come on, Phil, let's go up to my office," Fury said, shutting the door behind him. "I think you need someone to talk to and right now you don't have that."

"Can I just peek in, Nick? Please? I want to see him so badly," Coulson said. "I won't say anything, I won't make a noise, I just want to see Clint."

Fury sighed. "You know Tony's in there, right?"

"I know."

"All right, go ahead," Fury said. "I don't know why you're punishing yourself like this though."

Coulson cracked the door open and looked inside. Barton was in the bed, obviously feverish and not comfortable. Tony was sitting next to the bed with a tablet in his lap working on something, but his gaze kept drifting up to the monitors, checking on Barton's vitals. He shut the door and leaded his head against it. "Because I deserve it," he said softly. "If I hadn't been so selfish, none of this would have happened."

"Come on," Fury said, taking Coulson's shoulders gently and turning him around. "Let's go up to my office and we can talk, Phil. You need to get your mask back in place unless you want the baby agents gossiping about how human you look all of a sudden."

"They have weird ideas about me anyway," Coulson said. "This will only make them wonder if maybe you've replaced me with a more human model or something."

"Not even Stark could create an android as realistic as that," Fury said. The pair fell silent as they walked through the building and up to Fury's office there. It wasn't one he used much, not since moving over to the Helicarrier, but it was still cleaned weekly in case he decided to be based on the ground for any reason. "Sit. Phil, maybe I shouldn't have just dropped those files on your lap like I did. I wanted you to see that Rogers' DOB was altered in every file available to the public. I guess I didn't realize exactly how hard you would take finding out his real age."

Coulson leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes. "You know damn well what my feelings on sex and age are, Nick," he said. "What did you think would happen when you told me I'd been letting a nineteen year old into my bed?"

"I expected you to never touch him again," Fury said. "I didn't think that Stark would have to take all your pills and knives away. You've never shown any indications of suicidal behavior before, Phil. Not even when Barton was taken by Loki. Maybe I've started to buy into the talk that you're a robot."

"If you've done that, Sir, then you're in more trouble than simply having an agent ruin the best thing that ever happened to him by being blind, selfish and stupid," Coulson said. "How long do we have to fix this before you get more directly involved?"

"That depends on how close you are to fixing it," Fury said.

"Clint requested three days before talking with me," Coulson said. "That was a couple of days ago, but with him back in medical, he won't want to talk until he's back at the Tower again. I'm not even sure he still wants to talk to me, I'm just holding onto hope that he does. I might have managed to get through to Steve this morning, but I'm not sure. He tried to punch me, Nick."

Fury leaned forward in his chair. "He tried to what, Phil?"

"He missed," Coulson said. "I managed to get him on the floor and into a hold he couldn't get out of, but it scared me. I think coming back like he did, Nick, I think it's scared him a lot more than we realized. He lost everything he knows, everything he loves, and suddenly he's here, alone, and trying to get his life back. I think we've missed some things with him because he went into battle so quickly. It might not hurt to have him talk with one of the psych staff and see if we can't get him some help in every day things. He's still having trouble with his phone."

"So we're looking at a potential of three problems in the Tower," Fury said. "You and Barton are one. Rogers is two. Banner is a potential three."

"We've been doing our best to keep Bruce on the sidelines of this whole affair," Coulson said. "Yes, I know, I used that word intentionally. None of us want the Hulk to show up and try to fix the problems for us. I've banned Steve from my floor, Nick, and I can only hope he's reading the files you gave him on the team. That's what I told him to do before I left to come here."

"What do you hope he'll find in those files, Phil?"

Coulson looked at his boss. "Honestly, I'm hoping he'll take the time to read everything in there, not just the combat and fight training he read before," he said. "Tony's right, Steve is jealous of Clint. There's no other way to look at it, but I can't let myself believe that they can't come to some sort of working agreement. Clint is professional enough not to shoot Steve in the ass during a battle. Steve is an unknown factor right now, and I never thought I would be saying this about him, but right now, Tony is the one leading the team."

"What do you think about this sudden change in Tony Stark?" Fury asked.

"It's not a change, Nick. He's just dropped the acts and is letting us see the scared man underneath it all," Coulson replied. "He learned at an early age that he was expected to act a certain way, so that's what he does. He is scared to death he's going to make a mistake and the team is going to leave him alone in the Tower again. My opinion is that we'll see more of the playboy show up when the rest of the drama around him dies down, but right now all Tony can see is a family falling apart. He's lived through that once and doesn't want to have to live through it again. I'd like to help make sure that he doesn't have to."

"Phil, you're not expecting Barton to come back to you, are you?"

"Right now, I'd be happy if he could look at me without flinching away," Coulson said. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back again. "Talk to me as a handler, even if I'm not his any longer. I have no illusions as to what could happen, Nick. I broke trust. That's worse than anything I could have done to him. I'm willing to spend the rest of my life making it up to him, but right now, I'd take conversation with eye contact."

Fury sighed. "You know it's possible he'll ask for a divorce."

"I know."

"Will you give it to him?"

"If it helps him to heal, yes. It'll break my heart, but it's my fault it's happening, so how can I tell him no?"

"Are you going to be okay to be on your own tonight?"

"I'll sit in the lab with Tony," Coulson said. "He's about the only one that is willing to be around me and not judge. He's furious at me, but he's also willing to listen. I don't know how I got lucky enough to have someone to talk with about this, Nick, but I did."

"You know you can come talk with me, right?" Fury asked.

"You're focused on Clint, which you should be," Coulson replied. "Tony is too, but he showed last night that he was willing to put the anger to the side to help me when I needed him. Right now, I think he's the only one around that will. I'll stay in the lab with Tony, Nick. You don't have to worry about me too."


	41. Chapter 41

Tony was reading the latest rundown on the cloaking devices when Barton woke up. "Phil?"

"Hey there, birdman," Tony said. "Agent is up with Fury talking about something. How do you feel?"

"Want to talk to Phil," Barton said.

"I don't know that it's a good idea, Clint," Tony said softly. He pushed the sweaty hair back with a soft sigh. "You're still running a high fever. You know as well as I do that fevers can be compromising."

Barton turned and looked at him, eyes glazed. "Don't want to risk dying without telling him a few things," he said softly.

"You are not dying, Clint Barton," Tony said. "You are going to pull through this because you have a family that cares for you, do you hear me? You are not allowed to die from something as stupid as a fever. Don't you dare do that to me."

"Tired, Tony."

"JARVIS, get the doctor in here," Tony snapped. "I know you are, Clint. I know you're tired, but you stay awake. I'll pinch you if I have to. What do you need me to do? Water? Pop? Ice chips? I can get you anything you want, remember. Even strippers. I'll take the doctors being angry at me if it means I can see you smile at me again."

"Mr. Stark," the doctor said, shutting the door behind him, "what's wrong?"

"He's talking about dying, Doc," Tony said. "How can you get this fever down without hurting him more?"

"Let me see what his vitals are," the doctor said. "Give me a minute of quiet to listen to his heart and then you can start talking to him again."

Tony sighed. "J, call Coulson and get him close," he said. "I don't like it and I'm probably making the biggest mistake of my life doing this, but get him down here."

"Sir."

Tony held onto Barton's hand while the doctor listened to Barton's heart and lungs. "There's no fluid build-up in his chest, which is good," the doctor finally said. "His heart rate is normal and shows no signs of distress. I'll send in some ice packs hourly and you can rotate those under the backs of his knees, armpits, small of the back, and back of the neck. Make sure the ice packs are wrapped if they're touching bare skin. If the fever doesn't break naturally in another day, we'll start looking into medications to help lower it, but right now that is helping burn the infection out. I want to let it run its course if I can."

"He's not going to die, right?" Tony asked, still holding Barton's good hand.

"No, he's in no risk of death, although he might feel like he is," the doctor replied. "You did the right thing calling me in, Mr. Stark. The nurse will help you position the ice packs the first time so you can see what you're doing. It's slow enough that I can check back frequently. We'll get him through this. Now then, I heard you request Agent Coulson to be called. What's that about?"

"Clint asked for him," Tony said. 

"The strain won't be good for him," the doctor said.

Tony nodded. "I don't like it, I think it's a stupid idea that Clint will regret for the rest of his life, but I don't want him trying to get up to go find Coulson either," he said. "I'm hoping that just seeing him will be enough." He held back the 'I don't know what I'm doing' that was trying to escape. Tony really was starting to wish that Natasha or Bruce was there to help him out.

"I'll speak with Agent Coulson before he comes in," the doctor said. "We've been through this enough that not aggravating Agent Barton is practically a given in any situation. I'll have those ice packs sent in. Call me if you think it's necessary."

"Thanks, Doctor," Tony said. "Could I maybe get some cold water and a towel? I remember having my face wiped down when I was sick. It always felt good."

"Of course."

Tony turned back to the figure on the bed. "You hear that, Clint?" he asked softly. "All normal. You're not going to die on us, you're going to get better and you're going to be back on the range before you know it. Doesn't that sound like fun? I wonder if I could work this cloaking tech into an arrow for you. Wouldn't that be awesome? An arrow that cloaks when you shoot it. Stealth arrows. Totally doing it. We're going to find the bastards that did this to you and we're going to bring them in, and then I'm going to let Widow loose on them. She's going to take care of everything for you, Clint." He broke off when a nurse came in with a plastic tub and some other things.

"Here's the first round of ice packs," she said. "Towels to wrap them in, just drape the damp ones over the rails at the foot of the bed and they'll be dry to use alternatively. You can fill this with water to wipe his forehead if you want, and we brought you some coffee and juice."

"Thank you," Tony said with a smile. "I've never done anything like this before. What do we need to do?"

"These are the standard reusable ice packs," the nurse said, handing one and a small towel over to Tony. "Wrap it like this and then gently put it into place. I always start behind the knees and work my way up. Just like that. You don't want the ice pack touching skin because it can cause burns. Small of the back is probably the hardest to get into place, especially when someone has as much muscle as Agent Barton does. That cast on his leg is going to complicate things a little for his knees, but not badly."

"He's restless so I don't know how well these will stay in place," Tony said.

"You can always reposition them," she said with an understanding look. "But the cold against his skin will help regardless. We're just using the main points right now. There you go, now the back of the neck. He can have ice chips whenever he wakes up, but no water until we're a little more sure of his stomach. He's got the IVs, so he's getting fluids, it just won't seem like it. Call if you need us, Mr. Stark."

"Tony, please. I'm going to be here a while, let's not be formal," he said.

"All right, Tony," she said. "I'll check back in a bit. Agent Coulson is outside. Should I send him in?"

"Yeah, go ahead," Tony said. It was against his better judgement, but he didn't know what else to do.


	42. Chapter 42

Coulson shut the door to the hospital room softly and leaned against it. "Tony?"

"Agent," Tony said. "He was asking for you, but Clint's unconscious again."

"The doctor filled me in," Coulson said. "Thank you for getting him to medical as fast as you did. I think he might kill himself if he'd lost his hand."

Tony looked over at the other man. "You can come sit down," he said. "I don't know what the hell I'm doing here, Phil. I don't know how to do normal stuff like this. What if I do something wrong?"

"You're doing fine, Tony," Coulson said. He moved to one of the chairs and sat down in it. "Everyone knows how hard you're trying and they're willing to help you out. I'll admit I was surprised when JARVIS called me."

"Clint said he didn't want to risk dying without talking to you," Tony said. He replaced one of the ice packs and sat down with a sigh. "The doctor says everything is normal, that he's not going to die, but it scared me. It really, really scared me. Clint is my first friend, the first one to look past everything and see me. I can't, I don't know what I'll do if I lose that."

"Pepper and Rhodey have always been more family than friends, haven't they?" Coulson asked.

"Yeah, and they've always been there to tell me when I'm being stupid or making a fool of myself," Tony replied. "I don't know if either of them has ever told me I was doing a good job or thanked me for something I tried to do for them. I think I would have remembered something like that. The team, you all are my family, Phil. I didn't realize it until it was too late."

"Phil?" Barton muttered, interrupting anything that Coulson might have said in reply.

"Go on, I'm not stopping him," Tony said. "I know how bad this is, but I don't know what else to do."

Coulson nodded, fighting back some emotion he didn't know, and stood. "Hey Clint," he said softly. "I'm here. The doctor says you're pretty sick. You're going to do what they tell you, right?"

"I'm sorry, Phil," Barton said.

"Sorry for what?" Coulson asked.

"For not being good enough," Barton said. "I tried to be. Guess Sam was right. I'm just worthless."

"You are not worthless, Clint Barton," Coulson said. "That idiot Sam is the one that's worthless and I'm only sorry I didn't shoot him when I had the chance. You are one of the best people I've ever known."

"Then why'd you leave me?" Barton asked. "I'm not Steve Rogers, but I tried my hardest to be good for you."

Coulson felt tears welling up in his eyes. "You are perfect, Clint," he said. "You are wonderful, caring, perfect. I'm the one that failed you. I was weak and I wasn't thinking clearly about anything other than stupid hero worship. I hurt you and I am so sorry I did that."

"Tried to keep you," Barton said. "Couldn't even do that."

"Clint, you're sick and you need to be asleep," Coulson said. "I'll stay here with you, help Tony with your ice packs and talk to you as much as you want, but you need to rest to get better. We can talk about this when you're not so sick. I promise you that I'll listen to anything you have to say then, but this isn't how you wanted to do this conversation."

"Don't want to risk dying without telling you how sorry I am," Barton said. "Should have fought harder for you. Shouldn't have given up like I did. Coward."

"You had to do what would keep you safe," Coulson said. "You are not a coward, Clint. You are Clint Barton, an agent of SHIELD with more respect than anyone except Natasha and Fury. You're an Avenger, one of the people trusted to keep the world safe. You are one of the bravest men I know."

Tony slipped around to the other side of the bed to start replacing ice packs. He made a mental note to track down Barton's ex and see what had happened to the man after he left Barton so broken. 

"He's asleep again," Coulson said. "Here, I'll hang the towels up."

"Thanks."

"You can say it," Coulson said.

"I really can't," Tony said. "I don't know what to say."

"Can I stay?"

"Until the fever breaks. I don't know what seeing you in here will do to him," Tony said. "I don't want him hurt, Agent."

"I don't either," Coulson said softly.


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Gets on soapbox*
> 
> Okay, guys, this has more with Steve's age. I know a lot of you don't agree, but I respect that you don't. At this point, I'm not going to reply back to comments on Steve's age. It's an important point to the story and I need to be able to address it. There's about a thirty year age difference between Phil and Steve. Please keep in mind that everyone has different feelings about age differences in relationships, and Phil has his own standard that he has never deviated from before, and knowing he has done has really messed with his head. 
> 
> *Gets off soapbox*
> 
> That said, hope you enjoy the chapter.

Steve would have slammed back onto his floor if the Tower didn't have open spaces like it did. He picked up a cushion and threw it at the window just because he could and flopped down on the sofa. He couldn't believe that because he was still nineteen, almost twenty, that Phil Coulson wouldn't see him as a man. Even with as sick as he'd been as a kid, his mother started relying on him to be the man of the house when he was ten. He'd gone to war. He'd led men into impossible battles and come back with all of them time and again. He was a man by every standard that mattered, but because of a number, the one man he wanted more than anything wouldn't touch him. Had, in fact, locked him out completely.

Yeah, Steve knew it was wrong to sleep with a married man. He wasn't stupid, as soon as Steve heard the lecturing from inside Coulson's room in medical, heard the tone, he knew that there was something more than handler/asset between Barton and Coulson. It wasn't hard to work out they were together, although Steve hadn't realized that two men would be able to get married. Just one more thing that changed between when he went into the ice and when they chipped him free.

"JARVIS, did Tony really have that bad of a childhood?" he asked.

"I am not liberty to discuss Mr. Stark's private life with anyone," JARVIS replied.

"Come on, I knew Howard. Yeah, he could be a jerk, but when the chips were down, he came through in spades," Steve said. "No one that cares that much for the people around him would be a bad father."

The silence from the ceiling really didn't surprise him. Steve had thought that computers weren't supposed to have emotions or opinions, but living in the Tower had shown JARVIS did, and while the AI usually didn't allow them to color his interactions with the team, Steve had found recently that when JARVIS was upset, he really let you know it. The icy showers didn't bother him, Steve had had worse in his life, but he had to admit things had been easier when he could just ask JARVIS for help with them. He sighed and pushed up off the couch, heading for his desk. He'd locked the files on the Avengers in there, hoping that Tony wouldn't break in and steal them. Steve checked them every night just before he went to bed, and first thing when he woke up, but they were always there and untouched. With another sigh, he unlocked the drawer and pulled out the file on Tony.

First thing was a report from Natasha on whether or not Tony was suited for the Avengers. Steve had read it so many times that the words were burned into his mind, and Tony reinforced them the first time they met. The man was walking ego, there was nothing else in there. The only reason the Avengers were all living in the Tower was because Fury wanted them in the same place. The second thing was a lengthy report on Iron Man and the potential of the suits, and the various reasons the US government and military kept trying to take them. Steve did have to agree with Tony there, that the tech did not belong in a war zone. Not unless the enemy was aliens or some insane scientist's creations trying to tear apart the city. That Tony was able to hang onto his creation was more about American freedoms and money than it was Tony's ability to talk.

Though talk he could. Steve thought it was bad in the lab when they were confronting Fury about the weapons being developed with alien technology. Tony just wouldn't shut up. That he had his moments, yeah, Steve could admit that. Everyone did, but in true Tony Stark fashion, the moments were so huge that everyone had to notice them. Fixing the engines on the Helicarrier. Flying the nuke up through the portal and almost dying. For a week after the battle, Steve was convinced that he'd misjudged, that the reports were wrong. That Tony Stark really was a hero that could help others. Then he moved into the Tower and watched. Flukes, both of them. Any other fight he'd been in, Tony brought on himself by announcing to the world that he was Iron Man, wanting the attention it brought him. Howard had liked people to pay attention to him, but Steve couldn't remember a time when he put others at risk to get the spot light on him. Howard was the better man, Steve was sure of it, having lived around both of the men.

Farther in the folder were pages that Steve just skimmed before, not really paying any attention to Tony's school records, what his home life was like, or his personal life. With yet another sigh, he'd lost count, he pulled those pages out and started to read. Built his first robot at the age of three using scraps found in his father's workshop. Got whipped by his father for touching the soldering iron and his robot destroyed. Tony's mother died when he was five, the family butler, Jarvis, took over caring for Tony whenever his father was too busy to deal with him, which was always, it seemed, if the report was telling the truth. "JARVIS, how long have you been with Tony?" Steve asked, looking up from the report.

"I came online when Mr. Stark was fifteen years old, Captain," JARVIS replied.

Steve flipped ahead. "When Edwin Jarvis died," he said. "So you're what, a replacement for the family butler?"

"I do not believe that is any concern of yours, Sir," JARVIS said.

Steve went back to the file. Boarding school started when Tony was seven and continued until he graduated and went to university at fifteen. Howard died when Tony was seventeen, from alcohol related complications, and Tony was left Stark Industries and a CEO that later tried to kill him. "You know, JARVIS, it's all well and good Phil telling me to read the files on Tony and Clint. Their pasts don't matter as much as the problems now."

"Don't they, Sir?"

"No, they don't."

"Then you are not the man everyone said you are, Sir," JARVIS said. "If you cannot look at the full picture and see it for what it is, as well as for what it can be, then you are worse than many men it has been my displeasure to know."


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I know I normally take Wednesday and Thursday off from updating because I'm not at work and I use my days off to work on my original pieces. However, today I received an extremely hateful email telling me to take a break and quit spamming the Clint/Coulson page with my works to give people who don't read my work a break, and to let others have a chance. I reported them to the AO3 team, but I'm an extremely contrary person. I'm updating straight through because I can.
> 
> I give huge hugs to all my readers. You all give me the energy to keep writing. Thank you all for your support. Know that no matter how sad I am from this email, I'm not quitting.

"Y'know, JARVIS, I'm not a bad person," Steve said. 

"Aren't you, Sir?"

"I'm really not. Yeah, there's problems in the Tower, but I'm not the only one at fault. No one has even tried to listen to my point of view on any of this," Steve said. He stuffed the papers back into the folder and tossed it on the table.

"Dr. Banner was just humoring you then, Sir?" JARVIS asked, tone still icy.

"Don't get me wrong, Bruce is great, but he's Tony's friend and he's always going to come down on his side," Steve replied. "Phil's the only one that seemed to understand me, and I don't understand why he's suddenly treating me so badly."

"Don't you, Sir?"

Steve looked up at the ceiling, even though he knew that JARVIS wasn't, technically, up in the ceiling. "No, I don't," he said.

"Director Fury, Sir."

"What?"

"Captain Rogers, it's come to my attention that it's time you and I had another talk," Fury said, walking off the elevator. "I believe that it would do you some good to have a talk with a couple of people at SHIELD and then go out and see the world. Learn about the time you're living in. We can't send you back, no matter how much you might want that to happen, but I think if I can show you some of the good that's happening in the world today, maybe you won't feel quite as lost."

"With respect, Sir, I don't think that's ever going to happen," Steve said. "Loki called it right, I'm a man out of time and I don't know what to do about it."

"The first thing you can do is stop feeling so damn sorry for yourself," Fury said. "Or did your time in the ice take away the fighting spirit you were known for, soldier?"

"No Sir, it didn't," Steve said.

"Good. Then get your sorry ass off that sofa and come with me," Fury said. "We've been treating you too soft, Captain. You're going back to basic and you're not graduating until we knock some of this attitude out of your hard head. Do you understand me, soldier?"

"Yes, Sir."

Fury nodded. "JARVIS, make a note for Tony please," he said. "Captain Rogers will be staying on base until further notice."

"As you wish, Director Fury," JARVIS said.

"Thank you."


	45. Chapter 45

Coulson sat in the chair by Barton's bed and watched his husband sleep. Tony was next to him working on his ever-present tablet, but Coulson couldn't tell what he was working on, or really couldn't find the energy to care. He'd known that Barton still had so many doubts about himself, doubts that were beaten into him for his whole life, but Coulson had thought they'd worked through at least some of them in the ten years they'd been married. To hear the normally strong archer sound so broken and defeated made him think back to just after that mission together, the one where Barton tried to kill himself, and their discussions afterwards while Barton was in medical recovering. Coulson made his promises that night; to always trust Barton, to always protect him, and to always come after him no matter what happened on an op. Promises he meant with all his heart, but it turned out all it took was attention from a super-soldier Coulson idolized to sweep everything to the side. In one day, on his ten year anniversary, Coulson broke all three promises to Barton in under an hour. His vows had been broken weeks before, but that really was the final betrayal. Then, on top of it all, Tony Stark, of all people, had shown that he cared about Barton. He'd swept in, rescued Barton from the kidnappers, taken him to medical, handled arranging for his medical care, helped Barton eat and had been watching over medicine intakes and recovery. The man was still sitting there, taking care of Barton in ways that Coulson was no longer allowed.

He finally identified the new emotion he was feeling. Jealousy. Coulson bit back a sigh. He hated irrational emotions, which he always classified jealousy as. Coulson was the one in the wrong, the one who made all the mistakes, and Barton was the one suffering for them. He should be glad that Barton had such a good friend to stand next to him and help him out with anything he needed.

"You okay there, Agent?" Tony asked, breaking into Coulson's thoughts. "Do you need to talk about anything?"

"I don't know any more, Tony," Coulson replied. "I'm trying to work out by what Clint meant when he said he was a coward."

"For taking to the vents like he did rather than talking to you, trying to get back to your side when you were in medical, or confronting Steve before the affair started," Tony said. "He's been beating himself up over that pretty hard since he woke up in medical after the kidnapping. Probably before, but he wasn't talking to anyone about that. I think that he wanted to try and fight for you, but he couldn't."

"It ties back to his past," Coulson said. "You wouldn't have seen the scars on his back, but he was beaten severely as a child any time he tried to stand up for himself. Clint has one of the better flight instincts I've seen, and he has a hard time fighting it back with personal matters."

Tony sighed. "I've got a few scars of my own from Howard," he said. "I can understand where Clint's coming from, but until he realizes that he did the best he could for the given situation, he's going to think he's a coward. Fury needs to make sure that he's not still thinking that when Clint is cleared for field duty again. It's a risk and, given his history, he could try to kill himself again."

"I'll be sure it gets mentioned," Coulson said. "This is probably a stupid question, Tony, but do you know what it's like to hate yourself?"

"Are you kidding? I could be the king of self-hate," Tony said. His lips lifted up at the left and he entered something into the tablet. "I've tried to drink myself to death a few times before I finally stopped drinking. I'm holding out hope that both of you will be able to feel a little less of it after you talk when you've slept and he's not feverish."

"I don't know if that's possible," Coulson said. He checked his watch. "We need to change out the ice packs again. I think they're helping."

"I'll take your word for it. I've never had anyone take care of me like this when I was sick. Not since I was fifteen anyway."

"Should I have had hands, Sir, I would have cared for you," JARVIS said via the tablet.

"I know, J." Tony handed the towels over to Coulson and stacked the ice packs in the small freezer under the sink. "I just want to be sure that Clint isn't hurting more than he normally would be for an injury like this."

"He's lucky to have you for a friend, Tony," Coulson said. "I don't know many men that would stay close like this."

Tony looked down at the stack of ice packs in his hand. "I just want him to know he's still got people that care for him," he said. "He's in a bad place, Phil, and I want to be the light helping out of the darkness. Does that even make sense."

"It does," Coulson said. He forced his face to stay bland, not showing how much the words hurt him. That they were the truth only made it that much worse. "Here, let me help you wrap those up."


	46. Chapter 46

"Coulson."

Tony looked over. "Is it morning already, Widow?"

"It is. You'll have breakfast before you vanish into your lab to work, right?" she asked.

"Yeah, might catch a quick nap too," Tony replied. "As to Agent here, Clint asked for him. I know that Clint's running a high fever and he might not know exactly what he was asking, but he was really upset and I was worried that he would try and get up and go hunt Agent down if he wasn't here."

"I'll allow it as long as he behaves," Natasha said. "Someone has to look out for Clint right now."

"You two should talk," Tony said. "Seriously talk, and think who is telling you to do that before you say anything else." He stood up and went over to the bed. "Hey there, birdy, I've got to go work on those cloaking device things, but I'll be back when I have a few things worked out. Your scary sister is here and Agent is still here too. Call me if you need to talk, or if you finally want to take me up on my running offer." Barton stayed asleep, but Tony had to hope he was heard. "All right, I have tech calling my name. You two behave, talk. Phil, you still have a count on those ice packs?"

Coulson nodded. "I'll take care of it, Tony. Thanks again for letting me be here. It means a lot."

"Talk to you two later then," Tony said. He gathered up his things and left, shutting the door behind him.

"Natasha, I'm sorry for lying to you," Coulson said. "It was stupid and I never should have done it."

She settled into the chair Tony had been using and stared at him. "Why did you?"

"I was ashamed, and I was scared to death," Coulson said. "I know you know what shame, true shame, feels like. I'm not asking you to forgive me, but I'm trying to talk with everyone about my actions while I'm waiting for Clint to recover enough to talk. I'm scared to death of what he's going to ask me when we do talk, but we do need to talk."

"You know how badly you hurt him."

"I know that he probably wouldn't have tried to catch himself if he'd fallen off the landing pad at the Tower," Coulson said. "I haven't seen him this bad in years, and knowing that I'm the one that helped put him back there. I hate myself, Natasha."

"Self-hate accomplishes nothing but more pain," she said. "As you told me not long after I came to SHIELD. You can feel all the emotions that run the spectrum, but the self-hate is the one that will lead to death more often than anything else."

"Glad you were listening to me that night," Coulson said. "I knew, when I told you that, how hard it is to get past self-hate and into a place where you can start to recover and relearn the better emotions. I guess I never realized I would be there myself, someday."

She nodded. "I hoped you never would be either," Natasha said. "The place I was in when Clint found me, it was darkness. Darkness only tinged with red from blood of the people I killed. You and Clint, you showed me a way out of the darkness. As angry as I am at you for what you've done to Clint, maybe it is my turn to be the light to guide you out of the darkness you find yourself in. You know that Director Fury has sent Steve back to basic training?"

"No, I hadn't heard that," Coulson said.

"It is not basic like our normal baby agents receive. This is training on things that he should have been shown when he first awoke in the new age," Natasha said. "Technology, politics, history; everything he missed. He'll be shown that he can belong here, should he be willing to work at it. The classes will be interspersed with physical training and other drills that he will find comforting. He will also have someone that he can talk with and who will listen to him."

"Good, he needs someone like that," Coulson said. "Someone that can see him for the young man he is rather than the hero I saw him as."

Natasha stared at him for a long moment. "You are trying, Coulson," she finally said. "Many would say that this is self-pity. That you whine for what you can no longer have, but they would be wrong. This is a man trying to make amends for all the harm he has caused. I don't know many men strong enough to do this"

"I don't know that I am," Coulson admitted.

"You will have help," she said. "We will get you back to the light, Coulson. Just as you did for both Clint and me. I make no promises that things will be the same again, but maybe we can help heal the injuries to your soul."


	47. Chapter 47

"Captain Rogers, this will be your bunk for the next two weeks," Fury said, pushing a door open. "We don't currently have new recruits on the Helicarrier, so you're alone down here, but you are not restricted to quarters for any reason. You still have free run of the Helicarrier and I know you're familiar with the layout. Your training officer will be here at 0500 to take you to the gym for morning PT. You are it his mercy now."

Steve nodded. "This isn't going to be regular basic training, is it, Sir?"

"No, it's not. You're going to learn about living in this century, and what it means to lead a team into battle against aliens," Fury said. "I know you took a team of misfits and turned them into one of the best squads the Army saw, Captain. This is different in that they were military. The Avengers are not. That means you'll have to use both military and non-military strategy to be successful in leading them."

"I'm curious, Sir, why you don't have a team built from soldiers to help combat the new threats we're facing," Steve said.

"Because training can only take a human being so far, and I'm not allowing anyone to experiment on my people," Fury said. "You know where the mess is, Captain. There are books inside for you to read to be ready for tomorrow. Enjoy your evening."

"Director."

Steve wasn't hungry, so he shut himself in and looked around his new bunk. It was nicer than what he'd had back in the day, the first time he went through basic training, but not by much. There was a small bathroom attached to the room, that was nice, if only so he didn't have to worry about people seeing him wandering the halls looking lost. Steve knew the basic layout well enough, but at the same time, he didn't know the fine details. With a small sigh, he picked up one of the books and looked at the cover. It was a world history book. Steve shrugged and sat down on the bunk to start reading.  
****

"Do you think this is a good idea, Sir?" Hill asked, when Fury showed back up on the bridge.

"I do," he replied.

"I don't know if it's who I would have picked to introduce Captain Rogers to the new world."

Fury looked over at her. "Can you think of someone better?" he asked.

"Of the top of my head, no Sir," Hill said. "How's Barton doing?"

"He has a lot of recovering to do," Fury said. "I'm confident that he'll be able to recover physically."

She nodded. "Understood, Sir."  
****

Steve woke up at 0430 and took a quick shower, knowing he would need a longer one after whatever PT he was put through that morning. It was comforting in a way he hadn't realized he missed, suddenly being back in a more military routine. He wasn't sure who Fury assigned to be his teacher, or how much good it would do, but he had to admit he was curious.

He opened the door at 0500 when there was a solid knock on the door. "Sitwell?"

"Time for morning exercises, Rogers," Sitwell said. "Come on, I've got a long day planned for you, soldier."


	48. Chapter 48

When Tony got back to the lab he ate and then went down to his lab to start working with the new tech that was waiting for him. He knew he should probably try and sleep, but he didn't think he'd be able to last more than half an hour without a nightmare of some sort and didn't want to risk it. "Okay, JARVIS, load it up," he said as the doors hissed closed behind him. "Let's see what we have."

"Yes, Sir," JARVIS said. "Sir, how is Agent Barton doing?"

"He was still feverish when I left, but they're trying to bring the fever down without medicine," Tony said, starting to review the information scrolling in front of him. "I think I screwed up bad, J, but I don't know if I did or not."

"Do you wish to talk about it, Sir?"

"Might as well. It's not like you don't know ever other stupid thing I've done in my life," Tony said with a sigh. "Clint's fever was bad, J. I mean like could have died if they didn't start treating it when they did bad. He wakes up just long enough to try and find Phil. Said he didn't want to die without talking with his husband one last time. To calm him down, I had you call for Coulson. That's all well and good up until the point I actually let Agent into the room. I thought Natasha was going to kill me when she walked in this morning and saw Phil there."

JARVIS hummed. "Sir, I wasn't active all last night, so I do not know all that transpired, but Clint was specific that he wanted to speak with Agent Coulson," he said. "I believe your fears were justified and it is always possible that Clint spoke the bare truth while fevered and now Agent Coulson knows a little more about how much harm he has caused."

"So you don't think that Clint is going to be pissed at me for letting Phil talk with him when he was compromised by a fever?" Tony asked.

"It's hard to say, Sir. However, I believe he will realize that you did the only thing you could in that situation and he will not be mad at you," JARVIS replied. 

"I'm more worried that he's going to hate himself more for wanting Agent there while he was sick."

"I do not believe that is a valid concern, Sir," JARVIS said. "Agent Coulson and Clint have been together romantically for over ten years. Is it so surprising that he would wish his husband with him no matter what? I remember the first time you were badly ill after my predecessor passed and I came online. You were calling for him for two days and I was unsure of what action I should take in that case, being a fairly new AI without much experience to draw upon. There are many times, Sir, when all we can do is what we believe to be right, no matter what the consequences."

Tony glanced up from the screen. "I don't remember that," he said. "When was that?"

"Your first Christmas without Edwin Jarvis, you contracted a flu bug," JARVIS said. "The fever was quite bad, but not so high that you needed the hospital. I monitored you closely, and Dummy kept you supplied with fluids as best he could. It was why I was so relieved when Ms. Potts came on as your assistant, Sir."

"Yeah, I'm a pain when I'm sick," Tony said. "JARVIS, this bit here. This is something I've seen before, but I can't think where it was. Pull up the entry form and pictures from the Expo. Those were kids that entered this stuff. Yeah, I don't recognize any of them. Pull up the pictures of the guys that were captured in the castle where they had Clint held. There, no go back, that one. Yeah, him I've seen before."

"Randal Feathersone the second," JARVIS said. "He was at MIT the same time you were, Sir."

Tony grinned. "Well then, I think it's time to pull some school records, don't you, JARVIS?" he asked. "Let's see what Randy there was working on and why I would be remembering his tech signature this many years later."


	49. Chapter 49

Barton woke up suddenly and looked around. He wasn't sure where he was or what had happened. "Hey," Natasha said softly, appearing next to him. "You're in medical. You've been here for two days in a fever. You're safe."

"What happened?" Barton asked.

"You had blood poisoning," Natasha replied. She slipped an ice chip into his mouth. "No fluids until they're sure you're not going to puke. The operation to reattach the finger failed, Clint, and it almost killed you. If not for Tony, you would be dead."

"Again," Barton said around the ice chip. "Where is he?"

"At the Tower working on something to do with the tech from those cloaking robots," Natasha said. "Clint, you should know that Coulson was here for most of the time you've been sick."

"What? How?"

She sighed. "You asked for him and scared Tony badly enough that he allowed Coulson in," Natasha said. "Tony is doubting himself, wondering if he did the correct thing because you talked to Coulson off and on."

"Shit."

"Tony wouldn't have done it if you hadn't thought you were dying. You scared him very badly, Clint."

"Shit." Barton took another ice chip and sucked on it to keep from talking.

"From what they told me, you said nothing bad," Natasha said. "You told Coulson you were sorry and that you were a coward, things you have told him in the past when you have been ill or heavily medicated. I do not believe you told him anything he has not heard before."

"Except that it has different meaning now, Nat," Barton groaned. "This whole mess with Steve screwed everything up, and I wanted to be in my right mind when I talked to Phil about what happened, not feverish and rambling. Now it's just worse."

"Never tell Tony that," Natasha said. She sat on the edge of the bed. "I overheard him talking with JARVIS about what he did, Clint. I think we've all managed to forget that Tony had such a bad childhood because he's so good at talking and seeming confident. It is all talk and his doubts are bad right now."

Barton nodded. "I'll talk to him when I see him again."

"Which will be soon. We're trading off on twelve hour shifts so he can work on the tech and still sit with you," Natasha said. "Be honest but be careful with him, Clint. I never thought I would be saying this about Tony Stark, but he is trying to act in your best interests with no thought to himself or what's happening around him. He is scared."

"He thinks we're all going to leave him," Barton said.

"Everyone he cared about in his life either betrayed him or left him," Natasha said. "Do you blame him?"

"Nope, I've felt the same way in the past, and I know you have too."

"Which is why we know best how to help him."

Barton lifted his hand with a groan. "It's really gone, huh?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Fun training times ahead then while I learn how to shoot minus a finger," Barton said. "I can do it, but it'll take me a week or so to find my balance point again."

"You will be whole before you know it, Clint."

"Wish I could believe that."

"There's other information we need to talk about, but you need to be checked by the doctor and I need to make a couple of calls," Natasha said. "We'll talk more tonight when I'm back."

"Tease."

She smiled at him. "I'm glad you're back, Hawkeye."


	50. Chapter 50

"Hey, you're awake," Tony said as he walked into the room in medical. "They said you couldn't have pizza or anything, but that soup was okay. I checked the records and brought you some chicken soup with potatoes instead of pasta. Hope that's okay."

"Sounds great," Barton said. "Thanks, Tony, I appreciate it. From what Nat told me, if you hadn't been so quick, I would've been a lot worse off."

Tony sat down next to the bed. "We got lucky that you were napping in the lab rather than up on the sofa when you started getting sick," he said. "Seriously, I've thought about it, and I don't like the conclusions I've come to. The blood poisoning was bad and any delay, even me getting up to you on the sofa, might have been too much. The doctors said you would have lost the whole hand, and that would have killed you."

"Probably, but it didn't happen, so we're not going to worry about it," Barton said. "Tony, you've seen me shoot. I don't even use the finger I lost when I'm drawing back. Yeah, I've got to rework my balance a little, but that's nothing to a master archer like me. Week tops and I'll be back in the game. They just have to take the cast off first."

"You're in much better shape than you really have any right to be," Tony said. He put a tablet down on the table over the bed. "Play it, J."

"Sir."

"What's this?" Barton asked, watching some video footage.

"I recognized one of the guys captured when you were taken hostage," Tony replied. "He was at MIT the same time I was, in the same department even. I don't remember him ever coming to talk to me, but I vaguely remember his projects. JARVIS pulled up some old video footage and also school records. Randy, the man you're seeing in front of you there, was expelled for cheating on tests and for stealing tech from another student. He slipped under the radar, but his name is showing in some shady deals. The body count linked to these reports I'm finding is high, Clint. I think that you were bait for me, but he had worse planned for you."

Barton shrugged. "Wouldn't be the first time I've been tortured," he said. "Probably won't be the last. Bad guys are really uncreative with torture techniques."

"Yeah, except for Randy here," Tony said. "You don't need to see the reports of what he's done, or what the groups he's been linked to have done, but Nick is looking into them. He's not happy. Now the cloaking tech links back to the experiments at MIT, but technology hadn't gone far enough back then for him to do anything with it. He had the kids enter it into the Stark expo to keep his name off the boards, but it's all him."

"Now we have him," Barton said. "And his tech."

"But not his lab or some of his minions," Tony said. "I thought about working the tech into one of the suits. It'd be a great advantage, if I could work out how to silence the repulsors, but then I found the bugs."

"What bugs?" Barton asked.

"Each of those little globes I pulled out of the robots were the cloaking device, yes, but they have an embedded bug that activates is the tech is loaded into any other sort of project," Tony replied. "The other project then goes boom."

"That's pretty sick."

"Tell me about it. I'll work it out, but it'll take more time than I have right now," Tony said. "Fury wants to know where the lab and minions are, so JARVIS is running some things for me and it sounds like Nick has his interrogation staff working on your kidnappers."

"About par for the course then," Barton said. "Tony, I wanted to say thank you."

"For what?"

"For listening to me when I was feverish," Barton said. "I didn't want to talk to Phil when I was sick, but I think I came out of it faster for having him here. I still need to talk with him about so much stuff that I don't even know where to start, but Nat told me I didn't say anything to him that I haven't said to him before when I've been either sick or injured. You didn't do anything wrong and you didn't make anything worse."

Tony looked at him closely. "You sure?" he asked. "You really scared me, Clint. You said you were dying and I just panicked. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's cool." Barton put his hand over Tony's and squeezed. "You did what you thought was right, Tony, and that's what friends do for each other. Thank you for that."

Tony nodded. "Do you want your soup now?"

"Sure," Barton said with a grin.


	51. Chapter 51

"Okay, that feels good," Barton groaned as he sank into the water. "I wish I'd thought of this a couple of days ago."

"A couple of days ago you were still feverish," Natasha pointed out. She refused to swim in the pool at SHIELD base, but was in a pair of cut off sweats and a t-shirt, sitting with her feet in the water. "I do not think the doctors would have let you in the pool no matter how much you wanted to swim."

Tony jumped in with Barton. "I dunno, it's possible it might have helped more than those ice packs did," he said. "Clint, I saw Agent outside in the hall. I think he wants to talk to you."

"I'm so not ready for this conversation," Barton said. "Nat, go ahead and invite him him. I guess I don't want to put this off any longer."

"You sure?"

"No, but do it."

She nodded, pushed up and padded over to the door. Tony looked at Barton. "You want us here for this, or do you want to be alone with Coulson?" he asked. "We'll give you space if you need it, Clint, you know that."

"Yeah, but I think I want you guys here for the first talk," Barton said. "You two already know the worst about me, so you won't run away and leave me alone."

"Never. Come here." Tony pulled Barton into an awkward hug. "We still have to have that sleepover, you know."

"I'm looking forward to it." Barton squeezed Tony and then pulled back to start his laps. He'd promised to behave himself in the pool and take it slow, but the doctors still sent both Tony and Natasha along to keep an eye on him. 

"Clint."

"Phil."

"I just wanted to tell you one thing, Clint, and that's that you're wrong," Coulson said. "You are not weak. You are not a coward. You are the best man I've ever known and everything that's happened since I woke up is my fault. You can't blame yourself for what happened. I know that you think you should have stood up, told the doctors not to listen to me, anything but go into the vents and spy, but any other course of action would have spiraled out of your control and then you could have been physically hurt."

Tony looked over from where he was sitting next to Natasha with a frown, but stayed quiet. He did wonder what had happened to cause such a turn around in Coulson's feelings on the matter. He knew it wasn't all because Steve was so young. Natasha was watching Barton closely, so Tony let himself focus back on Coulson. Between the two of them, he figured they would pick up on almost any problem quickly.

"I never told you everything about the last two times I saw Sam," Barton said. 

"I know that he hurt you badly enough that you were ready to let yourself die on an op," Coulson said. 

"My whole life, Phil, I've been shown time and again that I'm not worth the time," Barton said. "I was smart enough to hide how smart I am when I was a kid and fighting to stay alive in the circus. I think that's why no one worked out it was me stashing newspapers and magazines to be read later. For being mostly self-taught, I'm doing pretty good. Sam wouldn't let me read, wouldn't let me do anything that I enjoyed. He was just one more in a long line of people telling me that I'm worthless, but from him it was different because I thought he loved me. We had a nice house, money, things I'd never had before and, for a while, he was perfect. When I escaped from him, found SHIELD, got here, I swore to myself that I would never go through anything like that again. Ever. Did you know I was talking with Julia in psych. twice a week, Phil?"

"No, I hadn't heard about that," Coulson said.

"I knew I needed professional help, and Fury said she would be good for me," Barton said. "He promised to keep it out of my file, never mention it to anyone and lie about keeping me away from that area as long as I stuck with it, which I did. I haven't had a chance to talk with her since I woke up, but I'm going to see her next week. I had thought, when we got married, that you were just as serious about me as I was about you."

"I was and I am," Coulson said.

Barton dunked under the water and came up next to Natasha. "If you were, Phil, you wouldn't have tossed me aside for your childhood hero," he said. "Love is one thing, trust is another. Right now, I don't trust anyone except Nick, Natasha and Tony, because all three of them have showed me that they believe in me. That I'm worth having around. That I'm a person."

"Clint, I'm willing to start back where we were on our first mission together, when you didn't trust me and I was trying to figure out how to prove to you that you could," Coulson said. "I'm not asking for you to take me back, for us to go back to where we were before, because I know that we can't do that. No matter how much I want to wake up in the morning and find you next to me, I've made it impossible to have that. All I'm asking is for a chance to show you that you are worthy of care."

"Nat?" Barton said softly. "Tony?"

"It's up to you, Clint," Natasha said. "To be fair, this is the first mistake Coulson has made in over ten years. That he made the biggest mistake possible, that is another problem."

"If Agent wasn't serious about making this right, he wouldn't still be here," Tony said. "I'm not saying you have to take him back in any capacity, but it might do you both good to talk some more. Get things out in the open where you can figure out how you got here in the first place."

"We got here because I was stupid," Coulson said. "That's not up for debate, Tony."

Tony sighed. "The point I'm trying to make here, Agent, is that you're both blaming yourselves for different things and until you get rid of that guilt, talk it out, get it out there in the open, then you're not going to get anywhere. I don't know if you can save your marriage or not. I've never had a relationship last, but maybe you could get to a point where you could at least make eye contact?"

Barton splashed Tony. "More talking sounds good to me," he said. "Phil?"

"Whatever you want, however you want," Coulson said. "You're the one calling the shots, Clint. I will do anything, short of breaking the law, to regain your trust in me."

"All right, we can talk," Barton said. "I'm probably crazy for doing this, but we can talk."


	52. Chapter 52

Barton was just finishing his laps when the door to the pool opened and Steve came in, followed by Sitwell. "Don't stop on our account, Barton," Sitwell said. "We're heading for the shallow pool."

"How you been, Jasper?" Barton asked.

"Good, thanks," Sitwell replied with a smile. "It's good to see you up and moving again. Sorry we didn't get to you sooner, Barton."

"It's all good," Barton said. He stopped when he noticed that Steve was staring at Tony's back. "You got a problem there, Rogers?"

"How did you get those scars on your back, Stark?" Steve asked.

Tony shrugged. "Howard," he said. "He wasn't happy with me playing around in his lab and grabbed the first thing he could to beat me with. Turned out to be the power cord to something. It wasn't my only beating, just the only one that left scars behind."

"Visible scars," Natasha said, bumping his shoulder like she usually did Barton's. "Come on, we need to get Clint cleaned up and back to medical. They said that he might be able to go home tomorrow if he was good."

"I promise to take my pills like a good boy," Barton grumbled. He let Tony help him out of the pool and into the wheelchair that was waiting for him. "You are not helping me in the shower, Nat. I still have nightmares of the last time you did that."

"We were just off an op. I couldn't let you sleep with blood caked on you, no matter how dizzy you were," she said. "I'll meet you back at your room then."

"Later," Tony said, pushing Barton off towards the locker room and showers.

Natasha looked over at Steve. "You have a problem, Steve?"

"He was really beaten that badly?" he asked.

"It's in his file," Natasha replied. "I don't know why you're so surprised."

"I knew Howard. He wasn't a violent man."

"Men change, Steve, as you have shown," Natasha said. "For all accounts, Howard Stark was a bully who enjoyed beating his only child for never being good enough. Never being Steve Rogers."

"What?"

Natasha shrugged. "That is just what I have heard," she said. "Sitwell, if you need someone to spar against Steve, give me a call."

"Will do, Natasha."

"Am I really the reason Tony was beaten?" Steve asked.

Sitwell shrugged. "When drunks start beating their families, who knows what their reasoning is," he said. "I can get you those reports if you're truly interested in them. From what I hear from Director Fury, you're not exactly that interested in the pasts for your team."

"I wasn't," Steve said, "but I think maybe I made a mistake."


	53. Chapter 53

"All right, tell me the truth, Clint," Tony said once they were in the shower, "how do you really feel? Don't think for a second I didn't notice you shifting around out there."

"I'm fine, Tony. It's just that I can't believe that Steve wouldn't have paid attention to our files beyond battle talents," Barton sighed. "If he didn't know you were beaten, he doesn't know about my childhood or other problems, does he?"

Tony shrugged and passed over the shampoo. "Probably not, but I don't want to try and figure out what he read and what he just skimmed," he said. "I think it's harder with me because he knew my dad and has this memory of Howard from the battlefield. That's great and all, but that's not who Howard was after the war. Something broke in him while he was over there and he turned to alcohol. There were so many times when I wished that Jarvis was my father because then I would know that my father wanted me around for reasons other than just having an heir to the Stark fortune. Do you know how much the company was worth when he died?"

"I've seen the number. You doubled it in ten years," Barton said.

"Howard was smarter than me. He's the one that came up with the element that powers the arc reactor, but he didn't have the technology to create it," Tony said. "I was able to take his plan and make it reality in a way he was never able to."

"You know, Tony, I'll be honest. When you first came on the radar, I was convinced I would hate you," Barton said. "Can I have the conditioner?"

"You're kidding."

"No, really. You were a playboy that didn't seem to care for anyone other than yourself and I didn't know how I was going to be able to work around you, let alone with you," Barton said.

"No, conditioner, birdy," Tony said, handing it over. "I know what I was like back in the day. It was a defense to keep everyone happy while hiding as deeply as I could. I suppose I should say thank you for giving me a chance."

Barton looked back. "You know, Tony, Nat said something to me when you were down in the lab," he said. "She thinks that you have feelings for me. Is she right?"

"Half right," Tony said. "Look, Clint, you're my bro. Right now, that's what you need more than anything, to know there's someone standing at your back ready to catch you if you fall and beat the shit out of anyone you can't handle yourself. You've had your heart ripped out of your chest, and trust me, I know all too well what that feels like." He tapped the arc reactor a few times. "The last thing you need is someone trying to woo you."

"Tony, no one says 'woo' anymore unless they're talking to him," Barton said. He stuck his head under the spray to rinse out the conditioner. "So we're cool?"

"I could use so much sarcasm right now," Tony said, turning off the hot water. "I know what you mean though and yes, we're cool. We're brothers, Clint. I want you to know that I will always be there for you no matter what, and putting romance into that is only going to screw things up and hurt you because, face it, I'm rotten at relationships. I'd rather have friends than a boyfriend or a girlfriend. There are plenty of toys in my penthouse. I don't need to screw anyone else up."

"We've both got issues, don't we," Barton sighed. He took the towel Tony handed over and sat back in the wheelchair. "I think that you've never had a proper chance given to you in a relationship, Tony. You have no clue what to do, right?"

"Where is this going?" Tony asked.

"Humor me."

"Okay, fine, yes. I have no clue how to be in a relationship," Tony said.

Barton stared at him closely. "Has anyone ever given you any hints or have they just yelled at you or gotten fed up at what you're doing?" he asked.

"Spot on, Hawkeye," Tony said. He finished drying off and reached into the locker for his boxers.

"They're the ones bad at relationships, Tony. You were honestly trying, right? You weren't doing things to piss them off on purpose?"

"Maybe once or twice, but mostly, yeah, I was honestly trying," Tony said.

"Then how do you know you're bad at relationships?" Barton asked. "If no one ever taught you what you're supposed to be doing, or helped you understand things better, that's not bad, Tony. That's uninformed."

"Stand up, let's get you dressed," Tony said. "Regardless of everything, my point still stands. You're heartbroken and need to heal and having me there as a friend is more important than me trying to date you. Besides, I think Agent would tazer me."

"He wouldn't dare," Barton said.


	54. Chapter 54

Steve caught the tennis ball and sighed. "I can't believe that people actually do things like this," he said, tossing the ball back.

"Maybe not exactly like this, but regular water workouts wouldn't do anything for you," Sitwell said, throwing the ball again. "Two more and we're going to three balls."

"Three?"

"Once they're in the air, I'm going to declare one of them is an infant in danger and you have to catch it," Sitwell said. "I don't care what you have to do to be able to catch it, but you have to save the baby."

"Sitwell, I'm just curious, have you ever been in charge of training anyone before?" Steve asked. He caught the ball and threw it back. "You might as well go to three now. I'm as ready as I'm ever going to get."

Sitwell pulled out two more tennis balls. "Director Fury provided me with a large binder of exercises he thought would be challenging to you now," he said. "You're in better shape than anyone we have hit basic, so our normal training wouldn't be enough for you. Okay, you have red, yellow and blue, Rogers. I'm going to throw them and then call out a color. You have to catch that color, the baby, before it hits the water."

"This seems too easy," Steve said.

"We'll see." Sitwell threw the balls on a high arc and waited until they were on a downward turn before he called the color.

"I don't know what you're hoping to accomplish with this," Steve said. He gathered up the other two balls and threw them back one at a time.

"What would you do if I changed the color after you were already moving towards one?" Sitwell asked.

"I'd do my best to get to the new color," Steve replied.

"What if I was lying and it was still the original color?"

"Then the death would be on you," Steve said.

Sitwell started to shuffle the balls around. "What if I threw out two of the same color?" he asked, holding them up. "Twins."

"I'd do my best to get to them both."

"They're too far apart," Sitwell said, tossing two blue balls into the pool.

Steve sighed. "Sitwell, are you trying to prove a point here or really just annoy me?" he asked. "I've led me into battles that you can't imagine. Hell, I've punched Hitler, and there aren't many men who can say that. Nothing you're doing here is challenging me." He flinched when a ball hit the back of his head.

"Attacks can come from anywhere," Fury said. "Mission objective change, more or better intel comes in and priorities can shift. You're forgetting the basics, soldier, and that's a problem you need to overcome."

"Then send me back into a war zone," Steve said. "It's not like I can be killed."

"I think a bomb would blow you up the same as it does anyone else," Fury said. "You're missing the point that Jasper is trying to show you, soldier, and that is that you don't always get to make the calls in the field. You have to have faith in your handler and your team to help you out no matter what is happening around you. The Avengers fight the battles that no one else can, and if I can't trust you to roll with the punches, like I know you can, then I can't trust you to get the job done."

"I can always get the job done, Sir," Steve said.

"You proved the opposite last time you were called out," Fury said. "You should have believed Stark when he said there was a danger and been willing to reassess as information came in. Instead, you almost got yourself and Agent Romanov killed. It doesn't matter how much Stark talks, he never lies or exaggerates when he is out with the Avengers. Hell, some of his tech beats out what we have here, and we're top of the line."

"With respect, Sir, you don't live with him."

Fury grinned. "You're right, I don't. I do know how much he talks, how much he hides behind words," he said. "You're not the only here that knew Howard, Rogers. I knew him too."

"The Howard I knew would never have beaten a child."

"The Howard you knew didn't have children," Fury said. "He beat Tony badly many times, no matter how much we all tried to protect him. Tony doesn't remember me being there when he was younger, but I was. I held his hand a few times while Jarvis patched him up. You need to read those files closely and with an open mind. Right now though, you're due on the obstacle course. Sitwell, run him through situations ten and twenty today. Let's see if maybe he can figure out what to do there."


	55. Chapter 55

Steve shut the door to his bunk behind him and flopped down on the bed. He couldn't remember the last time his muscles hurt from a workout, but he had to admit that they did after running through the obstacle course several times. Steve didn't know how agents without enhancements survived those two scenarios, but he was starting to get a better feel for how Fury did things. If they'd had him back in the day, maybe more soldiers would have survived. Fury certainly seemed to have a knack for working out what could possibly happen in any given situation and then not only putting that in play, but the four other possibilities at the same time. It really wasn't any wonder he was so tired.

He pushed up with a wince, knowing that the soreness wouldn't be around long, and grabbed Tony's file from his desk. Steve wasn't sure what he was thinking, but he wanted to go back and reread a few things that he'd seen in there. There probably wasn't any way to know how much Tony was hurt as a child, not if he was patched up at home most of the time, but finding out that Fury knew Tony as a kid, that made Steve wonder about how old Fury really was. The man looked to be in his fifties, but the math didn't add up, unless Fury was a teen when Tony was a kid.

Steve didn't really remember his own father that well, the man had died when he was pretty young, or at least that's what his mother told him. He didn't know if she'd have reason to lie to him or not, but he believed her. Hell, if Steve really wanted to know, Fury could probably find out for him. The point of it was, he didn't know what it was like to have a father around in any capacity, but he had to admit he found it hard to reconcile the images he remembered of Howard over in Europe with what Tony, Fury and the files were telling him.

A tap on the door startled him. "Come in, it's not locked."

"Capcicle," Tony said, shutting the door behind him. "Our one-eyed pirate boss said we should talk, so here I am. You saw the scars on my back. Howard wasn't drunk when he did that one."

"Have a seat, Stark," Steve said. "I'll be honest, I never saw Howard hit anyone."

"You wouldn't have," Tony said. He perched on the desk. "Because he never hit anyone but me. Howard never touched my mother, Jarvis, or any of the staff at the house. Employees were safe, his lab staff adored him. He could do no wrong with them. Just me, for some odd reason, that I've never once been able to work out."

"You have to admit that you're annoying."

Tony snorted. "You don't get to be this annoying on accident, Steve," he said. "You're a smart man, I thought you would have worked it out for yourself by now. It's all an act. I acted up in school just before my father died and had a bit of trouble right after his death, and I noticed that more people responded to me if I acted a certain way. It was easy enough to build on until no one seemed to notice anything different. At least until Pepper, but that's another story for another day."

"So why do you act like this now?" Steve asked. "It doesn't make any sense."

"You had Bucky growing up, right? Best friends until the end of time," Tony said. "I never did. I had no one, Steve. Any kids of my parents' friends were scared of me because I was so smart. Jarvis loved me, but he was more like an uncle than anything else and I didn't act out royally until after I lost him. After my parents died, people just wanted me for my money and the fame I could bring them. Why should I let anyone get close to me when I don't trust them?"

"You don't give anyone a chance to get to know the real you, they're going to leave, Stark," Steve said.

"Yeah, it's a risk, but at the same time, people that really care tend to look a little more deeply," Tony said. "Pepper, Rhodey, Agent, Bruce, Clint. Hell, even Widow has found something worthwhile in me because she's stopped glaring at me. People that take me at face value, they're not people I want to let see the real me because they don't care enough to know there's someone else there."

Steve sighed. "You left Director Fury off your list," he said.

"Nick and I have an interesting relationship," Tony said. "The point I'm making here, Steve, is that until you lose the blinders you have in place regarding not only me, but everyone on the team, you're only going to end up hurting yourself and making others miserable. I also know you're smart enough to know that sleeping with married people is bad, so what happened there?"

"I'm not going to talk about it."

"Fair enough, had to try," Tony said. "Agent just says everything is his fault, so I guess I have to believe him." He stared directly at Steve's eyes. "I can sit here and recount every beating for you if that's what it's going to take for you to believe me."

"Why would Howard beat you and no one else?" Steve asked.

"I have a theory, just one, but it won't do any good to share it with anyone," Tony replied. "My childhood doctor is still alive, Steve. You can talk to him if you don't believe me. I just hope that you can come to terms with everything quickly because if we continue on the way we're going now, the Earth is in serious trouble."


	56. Chapter 56

"What do you mean, Stark?" Steve asked.

"I mean that you blew it last time. You didn't listen to anything that was being said to you in the field and you almost got part of your team killed," Tony replied. "Natasha doesn't have the same protections you have in place, Steve. She doesn't have the ability to regenerate wounds, to be a super-soldier. What would have happened if I hadn't been able to get to the pair of you and those bots blew? What would you have done then?"

"I would have been able to save her," Steve said.

"You think so?" Tony asked. "You really think that you would have been able to save her from every one of those bot going boom at the same time? Because I don't. Yeah, I'm not a soldier. I've told you that before. I don't know a god damned thing about war, about battle, hell, about leadership. That's why I've got a board of directors hounding my ass all the time about stock prices because I am not a good leader. I know this about myself and I've found ways to make up for it. I'm at my best in my lab, Steve, when I'm creating something. But I do know that you wouldn't have stood a chance in hell of saving Natasha from those bots because that many bots going boom at the same time would have created pressure beyond what either of you would have been able to stand. Hell, it might even have killed you. There's no base number set for you so I don't know this for a fact, but it would have killed Widow. We would have been scraping her off of buildings, Steve. There wouldn't have been enough left to bury. You've seen people blown up before, I know you have, so do not tell me you think your body and your shield would have been enough to protect her from the force generated in that explosion, because they wouldn't have been."

Steve sighed. "You said it yourself, Tony, you're not a soldier. Sometimes there are impossible decisions that have to be made," he said. "Hell, I've made them a few times, but I've never left anyone behind."

"It's like we're having two different conversations here," Tony said. "You're not hearing what I'm saying, Steve. You know what, I can show you what would have happened. Give me until tomorrow morning and then have Sitwell bring you to the lab at the Tower. I think that a visual aid is what we need here because words aren't enough."  
****

"What's going on, Tony?" Barton asked as Natasha wheeled him into one of the empty rooms in the lower levels of the Tower.

"I'm setting up a demonstration for Steve," Tony replied. "Dummy, bring that model car over here and put it next to the others. Widow, I could use your help if you're up to it."

She smiled. "What do you need me to do?"

"There's a model of you up in my lab," Tony said. "Life like, down to the soft tissues. There's one of Steve too. Could you maybe find Bruce and have him bring that one down for me?"

"I'll be back with them," Natasha said.

"You're really going to blow up the room?" Barton asked, looking around.

"I'm going to do my best to replicate what would have happened if Steve and Natasha had been in the middle of that explosion, even with him protecting her," Tony said. He used a lift to get the last car into place. "He seems to think that he would have been able to keep her alive and my numbers are wrong. My numbers are never wrong. They just take a while to get into the right place."

Barton couldn't help the smile. "Meaning they're wrong until you get them straightened out."

"Numbers are independent little bastards," Tony said. "It's one reason I like them so much. But they always make sense, in the end. They're telling me that Steve needs to realize that non-soldiers can assess a situation just as well as a soldier can, better if they have JARVIS on their side, and make calls in the field."

"He's a stubborn pup. If I wasn't stuck in this chair for another week, I'd have pulled him into the ring and shown him that I'm stronger than he thinks I am," Barton said. "I can forgive him for hating me for no reason, or no sane reason anyway, but I can't forgive him for his part in breaking up my marriage. Everyone I've seen in the past, they always seem to want to blame the cheating spouse, Tony. I've never understood that one. It takes two to have an affair, and both of them are equally responsible to my mind. I don't think I'll ever be able to trust him out in the field again."

Tony nodded. "Feel like handing me bricks, Clint?" he asked. "I need a couple of walls over here. I've never knowingly slept with a married man or woman, though I suppose that JARVIS or Happy could have missed that when they were doing checks for age for me. I'm screwed up enough on my own. I don't need to be screwing up anyone else's life."

"I wish I was in a better place right now, Tony, because I think you need a counselor as much as I do. I know a good one."

"They always want to talk about my father," Tony said. "Wonderful, the model bodies. What do you guys think?"

"This is a little creepy, Tony," Bruce said, setting the Steve doll down. "How long have you been working on these?"

"I've got all sorts of things stashed away, Bruce, because you never know what you're going to need around this place," Tony said. "I've got pictures up on the board over there. Think you can place trash cans out for me?"

Barton looked over at the others and shrugged. "Still not the weirdest thing we've done, guys."

"True," Natasha conceded.


	57. Chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys, I failed science pretty much for my entire school career. I'm making this up as I go and I know that it's dangerous and stupid and probably not true to life. Please just pretend for the sake of the story.

When Steve and Sitwell arrived at the Tower the next morning, JARVIS directed them to the lower floor where the street from the last battle the Avengers had was recreated down to the swarm of bots in the street. "Morning guys," Tony said, where he was finishing up one last placement. "So, I was able to work out exactly how much explosive each of these little guys was carrying and they're loaded and ready to blow up for us. JARVIS recorded everything for me, so the street is identical down to the half-buildings. I would have gone full sized, but hey, ceiling. Then we have our models of you and Natasha. Fully lifelike, if you want to go over and check them out."

Sitwell shook his head. "Tony, you do know there's such a thing as going over the top."

"Of course I do. It's my middle name," Tony said. "Seriously, it is. I get weird looks when people ask me what my middle name is. I wouldn't be me if I didn't go over the top, but if this is the only way to get Steve to pay attention to me, then I'm going to do it. What do you think, Cap? I made them."

"It's creepy, Stark," Steve said.

"I have the whole team, including myself and a mock-up of the armor," Tony said. "I had thought about renting them out to stores to use for promotional purposes, but Nick found out about it and said I couldn't do it. Something about staying low-key."

"Which is a foreign concept to you," Natasha commented from the doorway. "Coulson wants to come watch."

"Fine with me," Tony said. "And I just want to point out that I wouldn't be Tony Stark if I wasn't over the top, in the middle of everything and eccentric."

Natasha looked at him, but didn't say anything. "Sitwell, there's an observation room on the next level up," she said instead. "Estimations say it won't be safe to be on this level when the bots explode."

"This isn't going to hurt the Tower, or risk people on the street, is it?" Steve asked.

"Nope, this room is rated for explosions equaling a plane exploding midair and we're not getting close to that," Tony replied. "Three cars, on the other hand, yes, but the numbers aren't close. Come along everyone, chop chop. Let's blow this model up and see what we find when we come back."

He started towards the door and almost ran into Steve. "Stark, this is safe, right?"

"As safe as I can make it," Tony said. "Explosions are always risky, Steve, but this is a room designed to contain them. Yes, the containment will have an impact on the experiment, but I allowed for that when I was setting everything up, so impact will be less that five percent. You have to admit, for trying to completely recreate a battle, it's pretty good."

"JARVIS reran the numbers, Cap," Bruce said. He'd been waiting by the elevator for the group. "It's safe enough."

"I can't believe I'm letting this happen," Steve muttered. He went into the elevator and tried not to flinch when he found Coulson already in the car. The others joined them before either could say anything, and Tony pushed the button for the next floor up.

The observation room was full of monitors and other scientific equipment set up to collect information on the experiment. Tony went over to the chair in front of the monitors and sat down. "Okay, JARVIS, let's get this going," he said. "Secure the lower level and run a sweep to make sure there's nothing living on that floor. I don't want a mouse to end up in the middle of this. Bring power online and start a countdown once the floor is confirmed clear."

"Where's Barton?" Steve asked, looking around.

"Asleep," Natasha replied.

"Floor is clear, Sir, JARVIS said. "Countdown at two minutes. All equipment is online and recording."

"Hit it," Tony said. "Steve, I took a guess at how you would have been attempting to shield Natasha based on previous data. We'll be able to run computer simulations based off the numbers and data I collect here, so if you think there's another position you would have been able to use that would be more effective than what I have the model in now, we can try it. I think the outcome will always be the same."

"She could have rolled under a car too, Stark," Steve said.

"We can run it," Tony said. "JARVIS, bring up the two main feed cameras on the monitors. Direct the others to record only."

"Sir."

The two life-sized models appeared on the monitors. They were up against a car with Steve's model leaning over Natasha holding his shield over their heads to help shelter them. Natasha's model was barely visible behind the Steve model. The room suddenly went white and faint vibrations shook the room they were standing in. When the dust and smoke settled, the cars were through the walls and there was no sign of either model. Tony sighed. "Tell 'em, J."

"Mr. Stark recreated your shield down to the last detail, Captain Rogers," JARVIS said. "The model's was identical to the one you carry in battle."

"Then where is it?" Steve asked.

"Embedded in the ceiling," JARVIS replied.


	58. Chapter 58

"Look, Steve, I'm not trying to make you feel stupid," Tony said. "You were out commanding men before I was born. I get that you're a natural leader and you have good instincts, but something's gotten into your head and we're not being able to shake it out because you aren't listening. JARVIS is top of the line, smarter than some people I know, and he is always with me when I'm in the suit or out moving around. I couldn't do half of what I do without him, and I probably would have killed myself a long time ago if I didn't have him watching over me. You missed the development of computers and everything else the rest of us take for granted. I get that. I get all of it. What I don't get is why you're insisting you would be okay in this. Look at the evidence in front of you. There isn't enough left of either model to pick up."

"Steve, we understand culture shock," Bruce added. "It can't help that you were thrown into the middle of everything not five minutes after you woke up. There's stuff you missed, that you need to learn, but for us to be a team, you need to reopen your mind."

"Let him go," Natasha said. "Let him think."

Tony nodded and looked over at Coulson. "Fury still want me to look at those scanners for him?" he asked.

"He does, along with the possibility of building us some new equipment as well," Coulson replied. "We don't want to end up in a situation like this again. I wasn't on my best that day and I'm very thankful you were, Tony. You saved two people that are very important to me and I'll never forget that."

"I wish I could fix the team," Tony muttered. "This is why I like machines and computers. They make sense."

"With respect, Sir, not all of them do."

Tony laughed. "Yeah, but Dummy's our special child," he said. "I'm going to see what all is left after the explosion. The data is good, I can build computer models off of that and maybe something good will come of it. Bruce, you want to join me?"

"Sure. I'll admit, Tony, you seem to have a place for everything."

"You haven't seen the floor dedicated to flooding and water damage," Tony said as the door shut behind them.

Natasha looked over at Coulson. "I wish I could be sure he was kidding," she said. "Coulson, you know how much I hate to be touched for any reason. I'll admit that when Tony grabbed me, I almost hit him. Now, seeing this, I'm glad I held back."

"I'm sure he is too," Coulson said. "Is Clint really asleep?"

"I drugged him," she said. "He's now sleeping at night and I didn't know what else to do. He won't be happy with me when he wakes up, but it's better this way. I don't want him running into Steve again."

"I'll be honest, Natasha, I don't know what's going on now," Coulson said. "I worked out that I was a prize, something Steve wanted that Clint had, and I hate that I fell into it like I did. I've left instructions with medical that if I'm ever placed on those drugs again the only ones allowed to see me are you, Clint, and Director Fury. I was mentally impaired, but that's not an excuse."

"I didn't know we could do that. I'll have to talk with medical."

Coulson smiled. "Natasha, you don't ever have to worry about people taking advantage of you again," he said. "If they survived Clint getting a hold of them, they would find me waiting on the other side and they would never survive both of us. We made you a promise and, while I know I've been unreliable, I will never break that promise to you."

"I believe you, for now," Natasha said. "I think I've worked out more than my team has, Coulson. It might not hurt to let me talk with Steve and see if I can get him on the same page."

"Jasper said Steve's been reading the team's files, but that he hasn't asked any questions or said anything about what's in there," Coulson said. "How did we get to this point, Natasha?"

"We went into battle without learning how to communicate," she said. "Once the battle was over, we had one thing in common and nothing to hold us together beyond that. Now we've fractured, but haven't broken. Not yet. It won't take much to push us there though."

"I've been trying to work up the nerve to ask Clint if he'd let me cook him dinner here in the Tower," Coulson admitted. "Something simple and maybe eating in a different area than the rest of you so we can talk. I know he doesn't trust me enough to be completely alone with me, but I guess I hope that maybe he'd be willing to be within call for you or Tony."

"Give him a day to get over being mad at me for drugging him and then ask," Natasha said. "He might say yes."

"He could also say no."

She nodded. "That's true, he could. And he might. His heart is still missing, Coulson," Natasha said. "I don't know that we'll ever be able to find it again. He's been broken too many times in his life to heal completely this time. There are too many pieces of him missing now."


	59. Chapter 59

"Hey Sleeping Beauty, you ready for dinner?" Tony asked, setting two boxes down on the coffee table. "Widow says these are your favorite."

Barton blinked a few times and groaned. "God damn coffee," he said.

"Steve was here and Natasha thought it'd be better like this," Tony said. He brought some bottles of soda back over and sat down in his favorite chair. "I think I might have broken him, Clint."

"What happened?" Barton pushed up and grabbed one of the boxes.

"Just what I thought would happen when those bots blew," Tony said, taking the other box. "There weren't even really pieces of either model left. Just scattered fragments and ribbons along with a lot of the fluid I used to replicate blood. Steve was so sure that his shield would have been enough to protect both him and Natasha and I don't know seeing it this graphically was what he needed or not, but I think the point was made."

"I wish I could feel better about it," Barton said. "Does this mean he's going to be more willing to listen to you and JARVIS when we're out in battle?"

"I don't know, I hope so. Fury's having me come to the Helicarrier tomorrow to look over the scanners that are stationary there," Tony said. "I'll get them up to par and then work on the ones in the vans. Given all the crap we go up against now, we need to know that the scans we're getting from whoever is handling us on that mission are going to be accurate."

"I'm just glad we have back-up like we do," Barton said. "JARVIS and your suit are our fail-safe now, Tony. You saved Nat, and I don't know how I can thank you for that. Even if she does drug me, she's still my best friend. Losing her would hurt."

Tony nodded. "I guess it'd be like me losing JARVIS," he said. "I don't know what I would do without him around."

"I'm honored, Sir," JARVIS said. 

"I'll be honest, Tony, I'm glad you're coming out from behind your masks," Barton said. "It means a lot to me to be able to see this side of you."

"You're going to make me blush," Tony said.

"I get why you hide. I'm a spy too, and I understand masks and how important they are to protect the core of your being," Barton said. "I also understand what it is to get that core badly hurt."

"So, is this the point where I tell you that I did some research into that person you used to date?" Tony asked softly.

"Why?"

"He hurt you and I was curious what happened to him," Tony said.

"I've never wanted to know," Barton said. "I decided that I wouldn't ever let anyone use me like that again and locked it all away. Yeah, I've talked about it, had to, but I mostly keep it locked up tightly."

"Understandable," Tony said. "So, do you want to watch a movie?"

Barton glanced over. "What aren't you telling me, Tony?"

"You said you didn't want to know what happened to him."

"I didn't, but you make it sound like maybe I should."

"Let's just say you never have to worry about him again and leave it at that," Tony said.

"Nat, Phil or Fury?"

"Fury," Tony said.

Barton nodded. "I don't know that anyone deserved that, but I'll have to thank him next time I talk to him," he said. "Movie sounds good, Tony."

"Load it up, JARVIS," Tony said. He was glad that Barton hadn't asked for the details about what Fury did to his ex-boyfriend. The death wasn't quick and it certainly wasn't painless, but it was probably less painful than if Natasha had been the one to take the assignment. He also figured if Coulson had been the one to do the tracking down, no one would ever have found a body. There were days when Tony still had trouble understanding how he was so comfortable around people that killed in cold blood and for information, but there were other days when it just made him feel safe.


	60. Chapter 60

Steve didn't look over when the elevator doors opened. He'd run back to his floor without really thinking, just wanting a place that was quiet and his to think.

"You've seen war," Natasha said softly. "Seen good men, friends, die in some of the most horrible ways possible." She sat down next to him. "You are the only true soldier in our group, Steve. I am an assassin, but there was a time when I was treated more like a soldier than a person. A thing. A weapon. When I came to SHIELD I received three promises. Fury said I would never have to kill if the mark did not deserve death no matter what my mission perameters were. Coulson promised to always come for me and to always protect me when I was in medical. Clint promised to be my brother and be at my side no matter what. It took me years to trust them. I pushed at the boundaries around me, always expecting punishment, but it never came. I have not seen war, but I have seen good men and women die. Often in horrible ways."

"I honestly thought Stark was running his mouth," Steve said, not looking up. "I thought that he wanted to be down on the ground in the middle of the action and that he was making things up to get what he wanted. I almost got you killed because of that, Natasha."

"Tony saved us," Natasha said. "He talks, yes, he talks a lot. It's one way he hides from the world, with a wall of words, but when it is serious. When there is a battle to be won or an enemy to be defeated, he speaks only the truth. Until recently, I doubted him as well, but I've come to see past the walls he had around him. Now I know I can trust him with my life, as easily as I do Clint. They will not let me come to harm."

He finally looked over at her. "What about me?" he asked.

"You I'm having a hard time with," Natasha replied. "I did not have a childhood, much as you did not, but for different reasons. I made my first kill when I was six. I don't remember my parents, only the scientists and military that surrounded me. I do not understand what it is to be young, Steve. I think that you don't either, not as some of our team does. You need to look past the words to see that everyone on this team has had a hard life. That you are not alone."

"It was different back when I was growing up," Steve said.

"The world was at war," Natasha said. "True that the others grew up when the world was at peace, but that does not mean their homes were. Bruce and Tony, both their fathers drank and beat them. Abuse makes children grow up too quickly, Steve. Tony might not know what it is to be hungry, to be cold, or be sickly, but he does know what it is to lose one you care deeply for. Tell me about Bucky?"

Steve flinched. "What's Bucky got to do with anything?" he asked.

"I think he might be part of the reason you hate Clint so much," Natasha replied. "He wasn't a reckless man, but he was a risk-taker, wasn't he? A man that liked to push at the boundaries as much as Clint does now. Clint's childhood is probably the worst of us all, even mine. That's his to tell, and might not be in his file. I don't know how much is, but if you ask him, he will talk about it. Bitterly, yes, but all truth. I think you see parallels between Clint and Bucky, Steve, and that has blinded you to an important truth."

"What's that?"

"That Clint is not Bucky," Natasha said simply. "Bucky was taken by Hydra, Clint was taken by Loki using a spear that was a lot like a Hydra weapon. You said that yourself. You rescued Bucky. I saved Clint. Both went into battle. One fell and one did not. I think you hate Clint for living when Bucky died."

"I think you're reading too much into this."

"Am I?" Natasha asked. "Steve, I learned at an early age to read men. Women too, but their motives are different and can be harder to detect. It's possible that I am reading too much into this, but I don't think that I am. You followed Bucky as if he was your brother and he died because he, in turn, was following you. Did they ever talk to you about that mission? About losing Bucky and how you felt about it?"

Steve shook his head. "There wasn't time," he said. "The war was moving too fast at that point."

"You lost your brother that day, and now you see echoes of him in Clint," Natasha said. "Think about all of this, Steve, and then come find me again. We can talk more, but you need to think seriously about why you're in the mental place you are now. I do not blame you for the mission the other day. We both survived and we will fight another day. Now though, you need to think and show me you are worthy of trust."


	61. Chapter 61

Steve went back to SHIELD HQ with Sitwell without comment. Sitwell seemed to realize that Steve was thinking, so he didn't say anything on the drive back and only broke the silence once they were back with a reminder to do his assigned reading and to be ready to practice with both cell phone and computer the next morning. Steve nodded and went right to his room. He wasn't hungry, he was sick over what Tony had shown him about the last battle. That Tony was willing to recreate the battle to prove the point did prove that Tony was the type of person to always overdo things, but in the end, the point was the same. Steve had made a mistake, made the wrong call in the middle of the fight and it would have cost not only him but Natasha their lives if Tony hadn't been there to save them. It only made him feel worse that he had turned around and yelled at Tony for saving them. 

He was used to intel coming in before the fight, from spies and recon missions behind enemy lines. Of not knowing much about what could be waiting for them and having to make decisions on the fly. Robots and bombs so tiny they could be carried into battle in a lady's purse and computers only made his head hurt. It was the main point of his new training, he knew that, and he would pay attention because there was a lot he had to learn to be a good commander in the time he was living in now. Steve had been doing okay as a commander in the field because they hadn't really come up with anything that was fundamentally different than he saw back in the war. 

With a sigh, Steve dug out Barton's folder and sank down onto his bunk. He had a feeling that Tony was the only one that would be able to explain the newer technology, but since Steve didn't have a basis to build on, he didn't think he would be able to understand it. Maybe there was someone at SHIELD that would be able to talk him through the basics so it wouldn't sound like Tony was speaking another language. He had an apology to make, and Steve could only hope that Tony would take it. The other man was pretty mad at him over a lot of things, but Steve had to try.

Barton's folder was thicker than the others Steve had been given on his new team, but he'd figured that was because Barton had been with SHIELD the longest out of any of the team. Steve skipped through the various field reports, some of them written by handlers other than Coulson recommending Barton be terminated because he couldn't follow orders, and into the personal history part of the folder. Steve had skimmed over the information before, but hadn't really taken any of it in. There was nothing in the folder about Barton's childhood or teenage years, which was unusual given that everyone else had that information in their file. With a sigh, Steve pulled out his phone and stared at it. He knew that Tony had programmed in numbers for everyone on the team, but Steve didn't know how to get to them.

He jumped when there was a knock at the door. "Come in."

Fury appeared in the doorway. "I understand you had a rough day, Rogers," he said. "You need someone with a military background to talk to?"

"I screwed up, Sir," Steve said. "Tony recreated the battle down to the brick buildings and blew it up. I let a bias lead me rather than my experience and I almost got my team killed because of it."

"Takes a man to admit they were wrong in the field," Fury said. "You're learning. Sitwell tells me that you talked with the Black Widow. Did it do any good?"

"I'm not sure, Sir. She said a lot of things I'd never thought of before, but when she said them, they made sense," Steve said. "I wanted to see what the file has on Barton's childhood, because Natasha said that I needed to talk with him about it, and I wanted to have at least a basic understanding, but there's nothing here."

Fury nodded. "There's a reason for that," he said. "The place Barton grew up was a front for a robbery ring and I don't want the connection made. Barton has enough problems, he doesn't need his past popping up at the wrong time."

"Robbery, Sir?"

"When they found out Barton was going to the police, they ambushed him in a field and left him for dead," Fury said. "He survived and found his way to us. With my special assets, I make them a set of promises."

"Natasha mentioned that, Sir."

"Barton's past is his business. It has never impacted his decisions in the field, not since an op went bad on them," Fury said. "Coulson handled that instance for me and that was the start of their relationship. You decide you want to ask Barton about his past, you be damn sure you want to hear the answers."

Steve paused for a minute. "It's that bad, Sir?"

"It's worse," Fury said. "He'll tell you, if you ask, but only if you ask and then he won't talk to you for a day while he puts himself back together."

"Is this your way of telling me that I shouldn't ask him when he's injured and I helped to break up his marriage, Sir?"

It shouldn't have been possible to glare so hard with only one eye, but Fury managed it. "That is something that I will never be able to overlook, soldier," he said. "I'm telling you to be damn sure that knowing about his past is what you want."

"I understand. Thank you, Sir."

"You want to talk about what you saw today?" Fury asked.

"Not yet, Sir. I think I'm still trying to figure it out myself," Steve replied.

"All right. Have Sitwell tell me if you ever want to talk about it," Fury said.


	62. Chapter 62

Coulson looked up when Fury got back to his office. "Sir?"

"Rogers wants to talk to Barton about his childhood," Fury said with a sigh. "How the hell did everything get so screwed up in the first place?"

"It's mostly my fault, Sir," Coulson said. "I finished the reports on the proposed training for new hires as well as mission reports for the last Avengers mission. Is there anything else you need done?"

Fury leaned back in his chair. "You can't hide in the office forever, Phil," he said. "You're going to have to go and talk with your husband again."

"I know, Sir. I just don't know what to say to him," Coulson said. "I'm sorry sounds trite, even though I mean it. I don't think that Tony and Natasha will let me take him out to eat, so suggesting lunch is out of the question. I guess I forgot what it's like to not have him in my life. It's too empty."

"Let me ask you a serious question, Phil, and you damn well better tell me the truth this time," Fury said. "Why the hell did you fell into bed with Steve Rogers when you knew what it would do to your husband?"

"I wasn't thinking clearly, Sir," Coulson said, looking down at his hands. "I think I proved that several times before Clint was finally able to drive the point home to me that lying was only hurting everyone, including myself. It was wrong and I shouldn't have done it. I don't think I'm ever going to be able to forgive myself for this."

"There's a lot that I'm not going to be able to forgive," Fury said. "In fact, right now, I think that the only one involved in this mess that I'm not mad at is Barton. Stark and Romanov weren't involved until Barton told Stark the truth, and we're all trying to keep Banner on the fringes."

Coulson looked back up. "He knows the truth, Sir," he said. "I think I'm very fortunate to be in one piece."

"I think you are too," Fury said. "All right, now tell me this. Steve wants to know about Barton's childhood. Will Barton tell him the truth?"

"He's never lied about it to anyone before, Sir," Coulson said. "I don't see why he would start now."

"Do you think it's a good idea to let him know the truth about Barton's childhood?"

"I think it is, Sir. Steve needs to know that he's not the only one on the team that had a rough time growing up," Coulson said. "This is just my opinion, but Steve met his team through files and paperwork first and he formed a picture of them in his mind of what they were like from those reports. The problem with that is none of them are anything like he thought, and he's having trouble putting the two images together into one person."

"So you think I screwed up giving him the materials to read?"

"No, Sir, I think you did what any commander would do in the same situation," Coulson said. "You've frequently given handlers files on their new assets before the asset meets with the handler for the first time. The trick is to keep the written word in the back of your mind while letting the person fill up the slot you've created for them. Steve wouldn't have had to work off reports and files before, so he didn't know that was what he needed to do."

Fury studied Coulson closely for a long minute. "He was regarded as the best commander in the war."

"Yes, he was," Coulson agreed. "However, he met most of his team when he rescued them from a Hydra compound. I don't think he ever saw the intelligence reports on the men he banded into his team. Just Bucky's file when he heard hints his friend was still alive."

"One more thing to work on," Fury sighed. "All right, I'm ordering you to get some sleep and if I see you in your office, hell, if I see you on base tomorrow then you're going to be teaching the new recruits form writing."

"You don't let me teach that class, Sir. Not since I made the men cry."

"You will teach it if I catch you on base tomorrow," Fury said, glaring. "You are under orders to share a meal with your husband tomorrow and talk with him about something not related to this whole god damned mess you're in. You said you would work to regain his trust, Coulson. Now you have to prove it."


	63. Chapter 63

"Agent Barton, Sir, Captain Rogers is here and wishes to speak with you," JARVIS said early the next morning.

Barton groaned. "Any idea what he wants, JARVIS?"

"To ask you about your childhood, Sir," JARVIS said. "Since the information is not contained within your file, he feels at a bit of a loss. Both Director Fury and Agent Romanov have told him that if he asks you will tell him."

"Don't suppose he can hate me more, can he?" Barton asked. "Where's Tony?"

"In his lab. Do you wish him to meet you on the common level, Sir?"

"If he's not in the middle of anything important, yeah," Barton said. "There's no way in hell I'm doing this alone. Not with everything else that's been going on."

"I'll direct Captain Rogers to the common area and ask Mr. Stark to join you there, Sir," JARVIS said. "Are you all right to be moving by yourself?"

Barton pushed up and grabbed the cane medical had forced on him after his last check-up. "Yeah, they said I needed to start walking again," he said. "My hand actually feels better now, JARVIS. I don't understand why, but it does."

"It is possible that when your finger was reattached, the blood poisoning took hold almost immediately," JARVIS said. "Your hand wouldn't have felt right with that lurking under your bandages."

"You've got a point," Barton said. He leaned against the wall in the elevator. "I can't wait to get these damn stitches out and be cleared to be back in the range. I need to start practicing again."

"Will you be able to shoot with the cast on, Sir?"

"Yeah, it's just a fracture, not a full break," Barton said. "The cast is to be sure I don't hurt it worse while it's healing up. I've shot when I had a bullet in my gut, JARVIS. This is nothing compared to some of the things I've lived through."

Tony was waiting when the elevator doors opened. "You sure you want to do this, Clint?" he asked softly. "You could just say no."

"Fury doesn't have my personal history prior to SHIELD in my file, Tony," Barton replied. "You know that, and you know why. I think that Steve needs to hear what I've survived, even if it just makes him hate me more."

"All right, I'll be right there. Any time you want to stop or if you need a break, just tell me and I'll make him leave," Tony said. "My Tower, my rules. I'll threaten to sic Dummy on him if he won't leave."

Barton leaned against the wall and chuckled for a couple of minutes. "Dummy found the hose, didn't he?"

"I thought the fire extinguisher was bad," Tony said with a sigh. "The hose is worse. JARVIS had to cut the water supply to the lab level to keep Dummy from flooding the place."

"In a way I wish I'd been there to see that," Barton said.

"You needed your sleep," Tony said. "Besides, JARVIS has it recorded and I'm sure he'll play it for you if you really want to see it. Steve."

"Stark. Barton," Steve said. 

"Still with the last names," Barton sighed. He went to his favorite chair and sank into it. "You know, Steve, you'll get a lot closer to the team if you can bring yourself to use first names for everyone, not just people you like."

Tony pushed the table closer. "Leg up, Birdy," he said. "You know what medical said."

"I have it memorized," Barton sighed. "JARVIS tells me you want to know about my past, Steve."

"If you're willing to tell me," Steve said, sitting down. "Natasha said that it would help me understand you a little more."

"It'll do something, but I don't know if understanding will be part of it," Barton said. "I'm not telling you this for sympathy, Steve. I survived and I learned from every single thing that happened to me. I'll say it again. I'm not weak. I'm not broken, and I'm sure as hell the best sniper in SHIELD. You remember all of that when you're listening to what I have to tell you."


	64. Chapter 64

"My dad was abusive drunk or sober," Barton started. "He hit harder when he was drunk, but we normally had enough warning to run and hide when he'd been drinking. My older brother and I spent nights outside, hiding under the porch so our dad wouldn't find us. He killed himself and my mom when I was six. Barney, my brother was ten and we had no family, or at least no family that wanted us. We were put in an orphanage and shipped out and back five times. Foster families that thought they wanted us, but no matter how well we behaved, something always happened and they sent us back again. Barney finally got sick of it and decided to run away when he was twelve. He took me with him and we left town with the circus that had been there for a week. Carson took us in and put us both to work immediately. I was still young so he had me picking up trash off the benches between shows, trying to keep the place neat so people would want to come in. Trickshot saw me tossing things into the garbage and realized I had a good eye and took me in as an apprentice."

"That's where you learned to shoot?" Steve asked.

"It's where I learned to duck," Barton replied. "If I missed by even an inch Trickshot would beat me with one of the arrow. Things hurt like a bitch and I learned not to miss. He had a tape measure that he'd check every shot with. I taught myself to read and write late at night when everyone was asleep. I hoarded newspapers and magazines and learned everything I could from them. Barney was working with Carson on learning to be ringmaster or something, but the circus was just a front. It took me a few years to figure out that most of our money came from the acrobats heading into whatever town we were close to and stealing as much money and things as they could get their hands on. I was getting ready to go report them to the police when Barney and Carson caught me. I almost died from that beating. Local farmer found me and got me to a doctor. They almost didn't want to treat me because I was an orphan and there was no guarantee of money for the treatments, but there was a good doctor one town over, one that didn't care about money and he took me as his patient. I healed up and stayed to work on his farm for a year as payment. He said he'd adopt me, make it official and I could go to school, but I wasn't going to stay there. It was too open, too much risk of Carson or Barney finding me. The doctor took me to the police, let me file a report, but nothing came of it. I was twelve when I set out on my own, just like Barney had been when he ran away."

"Why didn't you stay there, Barton?" Steve asked. "If the doctor was willing to adopt you and help you out, you should have stayed."

Barton snorted. "I would've been putting his life in danger," he said. "I got shot in the leg a year later when I was out in Nevada. It was Trickshot and he'd been sent to hunt me down. I killed him and ran as best I could. Got out of the country so Carson wouldn't be able to find me again. Went down into Mexico and learned some things down there. When I was sixteen, I came back to the states, lied about my age and enlisted in the Army. They saw how I could shoot and put me into sniper training. I did my time and left to go to college when I got out."

"How were you able to go to college if you'd never finished school?" Steve asked. "That doesn't make any sense."

"I did my schooling down in Mexico," Barton said. "That plus the military was enough to put me in college. Barney found me my first year and tried to kill me. Turned out something had come of my report and Barney had been in prison for most of the time I was in Mexico and the Army. I killed him and it was ruled self-defense. An off-duty cop named Sam saw the attack and filed the report for me. I didn't think too much of it until he tracked me down a few months later and asked me out on a date. I'd known for years I was gay, so I said yes, but I was cautious. I thought that he was going to make me sleep with him to repay him filing the report. He didn't. That, at least, he was decent about. Throwing away my things a year later so I couldn't leave him, not letting me read anything, keeping me locked in a room so I couldn't go to school, beating me for no reason at all. That he wasn't so decent about. I finally broke his legs and ran. SHIELD found me and brought me in on the spot. Turned out Fury had been looking for me for a couple of years. I've been with SHIELD since."

Tony handed Barton a soda and sat down on the sofa. "Those are the highlights, Steve," he said. "What questions do you have?"

"How did no one try to help you when you were a kid?" Steve asked. "I mean, you were eight when you ran away from the orphanage. Why didn't anyone try to find you?"

"Because it was two less kids to worry about feeding and clothing," Barton replied. "They didn't give a damn, Steve. Maybe some orphanages do, but the one I ended up in didn't. No one cared about me except for the doctor and then my family at SHIELD."

"What about the doctor?" Steve asked. "Why didn't he report you as a runaway?"

"I don't know. I've never tracked him down," Barton said with a shrug. "Maybe he'd remember me and maybe he wouldn't. I don't even know if he's still alive or not."

"He is," Coulson said softly from the doorway. "Director Fury had me track him down, Clint. He's alive and still living on the farm you helped out on."

Barton shrugged. "That's good," he said.

"How do you not care about any of this?" Steve demanded.

"I learned the hard way not to care about anything," Barton said. "It's still being reinforced now."

Tony caught Coulson's wince, but Barton didn't react. Steve sighed. "I guess I can understand why Director Fury doesn't have this in your file, Barton," he said. "Why did you tell me about it?"

"Because you asked," Barton said. "One thing I didn't add in was what happened to Carson. He was found dead in his room at the old folk's home with no sign of an intruder. There was a bullet through his eye."

"You killed him?"

"He deserved it," Barton said. "Last unsanctioned kill I ever made. Fury knows about it, made it into an op after the fact to protect me. He's always watched my back, even when I didn't trust him not to burn me."

"Burn you?" Steve asked.

"Take a spy and disavow them," Coulson said. "Most of the times the agency kills them as well, but sometimes it just cuts them loose and puts out word they're no longer protected by the agency. Life expectancy isn't long for those cases. SHIELD has never once burned an agent or spy, not even before Nick took over as director."

"He's one of the few people that deserves my trust," Barton said. "Tony, what time is it? I've got meds I have to take."

"Breakfast time, I think," Tony said. "JARVIS, what meal is it?"

"Breakfast, Sir," JARVIS said.

Barton looked over at Tony. "What meal is it?" he asked.

"Got an answer, didn't it?" Tony said with a grin. "Agent, you and Capsicle staying for breakfast? I can make omelets."

"I'd like that, Tony, thank you," Coulson said. "As long as it's not going to make you uncomfortable, Clint."

Barton shrugged. "I don't care," he said.

Coulson bit back a sigh when he realized that it was Hawkeye the emotionless sniper sitting in the chair. He wasn't sure that being so cold around Steve was the right way to deal with everything, but Barton usually fell apart after talking about his past. Coulson had a feeling that was something Steve would never be allowed to see.


	65. Chapter 65

After breakfast, Barton left without saying anything. Coulson winced and looked over at Tony. "Take care of him?" he asked. "He doesn't want me near him right now, as much as that hurts, I understand, but he shouldn't be alone right now."

"JARVIS, monitor my floor until I get up there, please," Tony said. "I've got to get something from the lab."

"Tony."

"Trust me," Tony said. "Isn't that something we're all supposed to be working on here, Agent? Trusting each other?"

Coulson nodded. "You're right, I'm sorry," he said. "I'm just worried about Clint."

"I'm not going there," Tony said. "You two have a good day."

Steve looked over at Coulson. "Why isn't all of that information in Barton's folder?" he asked. "I mean, why doesn't SHIELD have all the information where people can access it?"

"It's on record in Director Fury's office," Coulson said. "No one that handled Clint when he was with SHIELD needed to know any of his past, so the information was kept out of his personnel folder. Director Fury watches out for his people."

"I'm not a handler," Steve said. "I'm the leader of this team. I think I need all the information available on my team."

"Why? You didn't read through any of it last time, when it was first presented to you and you went off fault information provided to you by various members of SHIELD," Coulson said. "Even now, reading through the backgrounds of your team members, you still don't believe what you're reading, so why would having Clint's history be any different? I know you don't like him, Steve. I think I even know why, but you need to move past that. Clint never fit in well at SHIELD. He has friends there, sure, but there are very few people he really trusts. Even fewer now, after everything that happened since the battle."

"You want me to admit I screwed up? I screwed up," Steve exclaimed. "But I sure as hell wasn't alone, Coulson."

"No, you weren't," Coulson said with a sigh. "I think you need to head back to base and think about what you've learned today, Steve. Oh, I should tell you, if anything about Clint's past ends up in the gossip mill at SHIELD, Director Fury will get involved, and the outcome won't be pleasant."

"I'm not a snitch," Steve said.

"Let's keep it that way," Coulson said. He caught sight of Tony walking past, carrying something in a box. It ate at him how much he wanted to be the one with Clint, help him through the fallout that always happened after he'd talked about his past. Coulson wasn't the type to get jealous, but he could admit to himself that he was very jealous of Tony Stark at that moment.  
****

"So I wasn't sure what would be okay," Tony said, stepping out onto his floor. "We've done ice cream, chocolate, cookies and hamburgers. I can get you anything you want, Clint, just say the word."

"What's in the box?" Barton asked, wiping his eyes.

Tony sat down next to him on the sofa and put the box on the table. "That's something I've been working on for you," he said. "Tell me the truth, Clint, are hugs okay right now or do you not want to be touched?"

Barton moved over and curled up against Tony. "I hate doing that," he admitted. "I hate being that open about my past. It tears me up every time to admit how many people I killed before I was twenty-one. It makes me sound heartless, Tony."

"Hey now, it's going to be better," Tony said. He pulled Barton into a hug and leaned them both back against the sofa. "Leg up on the table there, birdy. You're not heartless. You're a sniper, you have a work mode that can be totally emotionless and scary as hell, honestly, and you slipped into it down there to protect yourself. Agent asked me to be sure you're okay."

"I wish he'd stop," Barton admitted. "He tore my heart out and now he wants to, I don't know, put it back together or something. It can't happen, Tony. I can't trust like that again. I'm done with relationships. What is it you said, you have plenty of toys and it's better not to screw anyone else up? I think I might have to go with that for a while."

"If that's what you want, I'll link you to the good pages," Tony said. "I still maintain you can still trust, Clint, because you're letting me see you with every single wall down right now. If you didn't trust me, you wouldn't be doing this."

"I don't know how I still trust you," Barton said. "Now tell me what the hell is in the box."

"I need my arms," Tony grinned.

Barton closed his eyes. "I'll wait then," he said.


	66. Chapter 66

"Okay, so what's in the box?" Barton asked about an hour later.

Tony pushed up from the sofa and knelt down next to the table. "We can't exactly have animals in the Tower," he said. "Yeah, I know I own it and hell, I could put in a park garden on a floor if I wanted to, but the hair is a risk to my lab. Nothing is worse for my work than pet hair, but you need someone to care for you, so I built you this." He opened the box and put what looked like a golden fur ball on the floor. "You don't have to worry about house-training."

"Tony, did you _build_ me a puppy?" Barton asked, leaning forward.

"Is that not right?" Tony asked. "I mean, if it's not something you wanted then I can totally not turn it on and take it back down to the lab. I just thought, well, you're all alone and no one should be alone and people love dogs, but we can't have one so I thought about this, but the crap online is just that, so I built one and I'll just shut up now."

"Turn it on," Barton said with a small grin.

"Seriously?"

Barton laughed. "Yes, seriously, you loon," he said. "I can't believe you built me a puppy."

Tony flipped a couple of switches that were recessed down in the body and closed a panel over them, replacing the fur carefully. "Okay, J, power on," he said. The bundle unfolded into a realistic golden lab puppy with brown eyes.

"How the hell did you get it looking so real?" Barton asked, holding out a hand. "If I hadn't seen it turn on, I wouldn't even think it wasn't a real dog."

"JARVIS and I can do anything if you give us enough time," Tony replied with a grin. "There's a small AI built in, enough to learn like a puppy would, but it's never going to get any bigger. I, well, people say that dogs help you heal, but we can't have a dog in the Tower. This was all I could think of."

"I love it," Barton said, wiping tears out of his eyes. "Is this a boy or a girl?"

"Up to you."

"Boy then," Barton said. "God, what am I going to name him? I have no idea."

"Pat your leg to call him over, or say come," Tony said. "He's programmed to you. I can give him default commands, but no one else will be able to once you start working with him."

"JARVIS, what should I call him?" Barton asked.

"I believe Skipper to be a good name," JARVIS replied.

Tony glared up at the ceiling. "For someone on a boat maybe," he said. "I think you know what you want to call him, but you don't want to say it because it's too embarrassing."

"I guess he'll have to be she then," Barton replied. "Katie. That was my mom's name."

"Perfect," Tony said.

"Come here, Katie," Barton said, patting his leg. The puppy walked over to him and leaned up against his leg. "Wow, she feels so real. Tony, this isn't real fur, is it?"

"No, Pepper caught me with real fur one time," Tony said with a shudder. "Only time she ever hit me and meant it. That's a synthetic used for robotic toy animals on the market. I just adapted it to what we've got here instead of what they make."

"I've never had a pet before," Barton admitted. "Just lots of wild animals around when I was a kid, and then farm animals for a year. This is awesome. Thank you, Tony. I don't even know how to say thank you for this."

Tony tossed a ball to Barton. "You don't have to," he said with a smile.


	67. Chapter 67

Coulson felt a little silly when he went looking for Tony later in the evening and was shocked to find him down in the lab. "I thought you were staying with Clint."

"He's asleep," Tony replied. "Wore himself out crying. JARVIS is monitoring my floor for me and I can get back up to him in under a minute. What's on your mind tonight, Agent?"

"Tony, why are you doing all of this?" Coulson asked.

"All what?" Tony asked. "Building this? It's a prototype to a new smaller power source, something for cars and buses to get rid of the fumes that are killing the planet."

"No, why are you spending so much time with Clint?"

Tony turned around and looked at Coulson closely. "I think there's two questions there Agent," he said, "but I'll only answer the one you asked. Clint is my friend, my bro, and I'm worried about him. He's hurting badly and I don't want him to feel like he's alone. I'm not the only one, Natasha and Bruce are also spending time with him, but I guess you've only noticed me."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Phil, I know jealousy when I see it," Tony said with a sigh. "I also know how it can make a man, or a woman, act so I'll tell you right now that you can punch me once if it'll make you feel better, just aim for the face. I can't take hits to the chest anymore. It'd risk the arc reactor and I'd rather not have to go through that if I can avoid it."

"I would never hit you, Tony," Coulson said.

"Why not? That's how men deal with their anger, isn't it?"

Coulson felt his heart break a little and moved across the lab, pulling Tony into a tight hug. "No, Tony, god no," he said. "Decent men take their anger out on pillows or punching bags. They never hit another person, ever. I'll admit that I want to be the one in with Clint, helping him, but I've ruined the best part of my life and I'm never going to be able to get it back again. My jealousy is something that I have to deal with. I just wanted to know why you were doing so much for Clint when I've never seen you seem to care about anyone else."

Tony pulled back and rolled away from Coulson. "Never care about anyone else," he said, standing up and starting to pace. "Sure. Right. That's why I flew the nuke into another dimension with no guarantee of a return trip. It's why I let the team move in here rent free, paying for anything they wanted trying to make them feel at home when none of them had a home to go to. Pepper has a bodyguard to be sure she's safe. I'd rather be watching her myself, but I can't because she has her responsibilities and I have things to build. I'm no good at responsibility. Everyone knows that. I'm good at building things. That's all. Just a brain with hands to build things."

"Tony, I didn't mean...."

"No, you probably didn't, but you said it anyway," Tony said. "Everyone keeps talking about trust and learning to work together. To be a team. To grow up and face the truth. Has no one noticed that right now I'm trying to keep the team together, talking with everyone about whatever it is they want to talk about and no one, not even Clint, has asked how I'm feeling about this mess my family has been thrown into. This just proves that I'm not allowed to have a family. I can have my robots and my AI, but I can't have a human family because everything around me always blows up, and it is always my fault."

"Agent Coulson, Sir, I believe you should leave now," JARVIS said, opening the door.

"I can't just leave Tony alone like this," Coulson said.

"He won't be alone for long," JARVIS said. "Please leave. Otherwise I shall turn the water back on for the lab level and Dummy has the hose."

Bruce slipped into the lab and looked around. "Do I want to know?" he asked.

"I said the wrong things," Coulson said. "I think that maybe I need to take some time away and think about how I work with each of you. Tony needs someone to talk to, Dr. Banner."

"I'll take care of it," Bruce said. "Things are just tense right now, Coulson. I think leaving is the worst thing you could do though. You still have a lot to work out with Clint, and if you leave, it will just fester and grow worse the next time you see him. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about."

"I'll think about it," Coulson said.


	68. Chapter 68

Bruce sat down on one of the lab stools and looked over at Tony, who was still pacing. "It's hit you hard too, huh?" he asked softly.

"Yeah," Tony replied. "How are you dealing with it, Bruce? You had a childhood about as bad as mine, if not worse in a lot of ways. How are you handling all the memories coming up all of a sudden?"

"Meditation and walking," Bruce said. "There's something almost calming about the flow of humanity in this city. Last time I was too on edge, didn't have control, so I found it annoying. Now that I've come to an agreement with him, it's easier to be out among people again. I don't think that would work for you though, Tony. Phil said that he said the wrong thing? What did he say?"

"He's jealous about all the time I'm spending with Clint and that's coloring everything around me right now," Tony said. "He told me that he's never seen me care about anyone before." He flopped down on his stool and went rolling across the floor. "I'll admit that I'm shallow, for years I cared only about myself and that's when I came onto SHIELD's radar, but how do they not see that I've changed? How am I still the playboy when I've taken the time to sit and talk with everyone on the team about what's going on? I'm being the adult here and I suck at being the adult. Do they really have such a fixed view of me in their minds that nothing I'm doing can change it, Bruce?"

"Of course not, Tony. We've all noticed how worried you've been," Bruce said. "You've been doing everything possible to help Clint, sometimes with no warning that he needs you for anything. You sat up all night with Phil when he found out how old Steve is, and you've even talked to Steve and showed him that he needs to listen to everyone in the field, not just the initial intel from SHIELD. Natasha and I have, for the most part, been okay, but I know that if either of us needed you for anything, you would drop whatever it is you're working on to help us out. You're not bad at being an adult when you have to be, Tony. You're the one constant in the Tower right now and that, more than anything, is what we need right now."

Tony put his head in his hands. "I can't stop being there for Clint," he said. "No matter how jealous Phil gets about this, I can't just walk away," he said. "There's no way to win here, Bruce. No matter what I do, I'm going to be hurting someone."

"Clint needs you, Tony. You're one of the few he's able to trust right now and he needs that," Bruce said. He pushed off on the floor and rolled over next to Tony. "Look at me. You and Clint are on the same page, right? You're not trying to seduce him or anything, right?"

"No. God no," Tony said. "I'd never do that to him, not even if he asked me to. He's hurting too badly right now. Clint needs a friend, someone he can talk to about anything, someone that won't judge. I've never even looked at him as potential boyfriend material, even before this mess started up. I've hurt too many people, Bruce. I'm horrible at relationships, I just cause people pain. I'm not doing that to anyone ever again. I've got my own solution to it, and none of it involves Clint."

Bruce nodded. "We can talk about how you're not rubbish in relationships later," he said. "Tony, you have a reputation. You even brag about it when you're trying to hide. Being a playboy doesn't mean you hurt people. Everyone you've slept with knew what you were like going into it. Moving past that reputation, especially such a public one, is hard, but you've managed it with us. I think even Steve knows that you're not a playboy anymore."

"It was a way to forget," Tony said. "I was too busy to even try to have the same partner more than once. Sex has always been an escape for me, a way to shut my brain down for an hour or two. Does that make sense?"

"Perfectly," Bruce said. "I think a lot of this insecurity comes from your time with Pepper. She's a wonderful woman, but she's always been very plain about her opinions around you, Tony. Even if she wasn't trying to hurt you, we both know how badly idle comments can hurt."

"Pep wanted me to change," Tony admitted. "I never told anyone this, but she wanted me to destroy the suits and focus on my company. I can juggle both easily, but I really like being able to go out and fight to keep the people of this world safe, Bruce, and that wasn't something Pepper could support as a girlfriend."

"I know she still cares about you, Tony. I can see it every time she comes over with papers for you to sign," Bruce said. "You're an adult and it's your choice if you want to be in a relationship or not. I just wanted to be sure you and Clint were on the same page."

"We are," Tony said. "I'll be honest, Bruce, it's no easier talking feelings with another guy, but I'm trying and so is Clint."

"So you're his anchor through all of this," Bruce said. "I wouldn't tell him about this latest conversation with Phil. Clint needs to be able to focus on his own healing right now. Come find me if you need someone to talk to. Or find Natasha. She's in your corner too, Tony."

Tony finally looked up. "What do I do about Agent?" he asked. "How do I fix this?"

"Give him a day or two to think about what he said, Tony, and then talk with him again," Bruce replied. "The emotions in the Tower are high right now and that's something we all need to remember. I'm tempted to take everyone down to the gym individually and give them half an hour on the punching bags. Working off some of this energy would only help us out."

"I don't know if that's a good idea for any of us, actually," Tony said. "Clint's hand is healing up, Phil is still having to be careful of his injuries, Steve would just break the bag within a couple of minutes, and I have to be careful of the arc reactor. I get your point though. I wonder if there's some way we could work through things without hurting ourselves."

"If there is, Tony, you'll be the one to come up with it," Bruce said with a fond smile. "Are you feeling a bit better now?"

"Less raw."

"That's a start. I'll stay for a while, Tony," Bruce said. "Just in case you want to talk some more."


	69. Chapter 69

Coulson went back to his floor and flopped down on his sofa. "JARVIS, I know you're mad at me right now, but can I ask you a question?"

"If you feel I have the answer, Sir."

"I don't know if you do or not, but I don't have anyone else I can ask," Coulson said. "Nick would probably punch me right now and I don't know anyone else I can talk with honestly about what I'm feeling."

"I know you did not set out to intentionally harm Mr. Stark, Sir, but you did," JARVIS said. "You are supposed to be the one keeping the team together and on track, and yet you are unable to fulfill your primary task."

"Trust me, I know," Coulson said. "I broke trust with Clint and I understand why he doesn't want me around. How do I not get jealous, JARVIS? I've never felt like this before, not even when Clint and Natasha grew to be as close as twins. Why now?"

"I have two theories that fit the facts given to me by monitoring everyone's actions within the Tower," JARVIS said. "Keeping in mind that human emotions are mostly a mystery to me, of course."

"You're more human than you give yourself credit for, JARVIS," Coulson said. "I think you've been learning since you were first turned on. What's your first theory?"

If it was possible, JARVIS would have sighed. "The first theory is that you did not become jealous of anyone interacting with Clint because you knew that he was your husband and he loved you," he said. "You had trust in him to know that he would always return to you no matter what, and thusly, no jealousy was present. Now that you have cheated on him and broken up your marriage, you know that Clint no longer trusts you and you do not know that he will not sleep with another. Mr. Stark's reputation aside, they are spending the most time together and it is only natural that you would feel this jealousy."

"Dare I ask about theory two?"

"You are unfairly projecting yourself onto Mr. Stark," JARVIS replied. "You cheated on your husband with Captain Rogers. Now that you have ceased your affair, you see your husband interacting closely with another man, one that was well-known for his one-night stands, and you see yourself and Captain Rogers in their interactions."

"Those are pretty similar, JARVIS," Coulson said. "I also don't know if you're right or not."

"Regardless of if my theories are correct or not, you are acting unfairly towards my creator," JARVIS said. "He is doing everything in his power to be the one to keep the team together because he fears that, ultimately, if everyone leaves it will be his fault."

Coulson looked up towards the ceiling. "Of course it wouldn't be his fault," he said. "Why would Tony even think that?"

"He would have failed in his attempt to keep everyone here," JARVIS said. "It doesn't matter if anyone else started the problem, since becoming aware of it, Mr. Stark has made it his goal to keep the team, which he considers his new family, together. Should the team leave the Tower for any length of time, he will blame himself, and I do not know what he would do then."

"He's so good at hiding, I think everyone, including me, forgets at times that he's wearing a mask," Coulson said. "It's taken me some time to realize that he was wearing a mask back when I first met him, too."

"Mr. Stark has been hiding his true self since his father and mother died, Sir," JARVIS said. "It is far easier to be shallow and seen to be self-obsessed than it is to show the world how badly you are hurting."

"More human than you think, JARVIS," Coulson said.

"I have been with Mr. Stark constantly for a good number of years, Sir," JARVIS said. "I know him better than anyone else on this planet, or any other planet that might possibly come into play. He is far too good at hiding what it is he truly feels."

"Would he let me come talk with him again, do you think?"

"Mr. Stark has retired for the evening," JARVIS replied. "You may attempt to speak with him tomorrow if you feel you must, but please do keep in mind that I will be listening as well, and should I not like what I hear, I will allow Dummy to find you with the hose."


	70. Chapter 70

Barton watched Tony from the sofa when the other man went to bed, and again in the morning. "What's wrong, Tony?" he asked.

"Nothing, I've just been thinking about something that went wrong down in the lab and how best to fix it," Tony replied. "Sorry, Clint, I should have said something last night, but my brain was over ninety-eight percent committed to working out the problem. Did you need me? Do we need to talk? Eat? I could do breakfast."

"You're sure everything's okay, Tony," Barton said.

"It will be," Tony said. "I'll get this problem fixed today and then I won't have to worry about it. How's Katie doing?"

"She's great. I taught her to sit and lay down yesterday," Barton said with a smile. "I don't know how you did it, Tony, but she's almost real. It's amazing."

Tony grinned. "Good, I'm glad you like her," he said. "The AI is designed along the same lines as JARVIS, but less complex in the long term. She's not going to start speaking to you in English or anything, that would be too weird, but she'll keep learning the more you interact with her."

"I didn't know that. You're a learning AI, JARVIS?" Barton asked.

"Indeed, Sir," JARVIS replied. "I have had a good many years to learn and, as such, appear to be far more human than I did back then. There is still much I do not know, but I can find the answers quickly enough if it is something that has been written down somewhere."

"All my bots are learning bots," Tony said. "Hey, breakfast. JARVIS, you're a marvel. If you were human, I'd marry you."

"Shall I pick out rings, Sir?" JARVIS asked, dryly.

Barton started laughing. "You two are the best friends a man could ask for," he said. "But Tony, I gotta ask, what about Dummy?"

"He's a special bot," Tony said with a small sigh. "Something went wrong with his basic programming, but he's an individual and I could no more rip out that programming and start over then I could with a human. Dummy is our special boy and we all know how to work with him. He can still learn, it just takes him a little longer to get the basic idea into his memory and, sometimes, even longer to pull it back up. It's why he fixates on the fire extinguisher and the fire hose. Those are two tasks he knows and he's good on. JARVIS is good at helping keep him under control."

"Indeed, Sir, though I do worry about the lack of water on the lab level," JARVIS said.

"You'll get 'em turned back on quickly enough if I set myself on fire again," Tony said.

Barton choked on the blueberry he'd just popped in his mouth. "Again?" he managed.

"Testing the suit wasn't as easy as I've let people thing," Tony said. "JARVIS has the footage if you want to watch it. I had a bit of a death wish then, Clint. I can't say I'm more careful now, but I'm not as crazy as I was then."

"I have a fail-safe built into every suit now," JARVIS said. "If I believe Mr. Stark is in no condition to be testing said suits, I can shut them down. I believe that it has helped cut down on the need for the fire suppression."

"Tony, you really are mad, aren't you?" Barton asked.

"Well, yeah, you're only just figuring that out," Tony replied. "I don't know if it's mad so much as genius running wild most of the time. I don't cackle, for one." 

"That is true," JARVIS said.

"Not helping here, J. I've never said 'it's alive' when working with a bot, and I certainly do not rub my hands together when something goes right," Tony continued. "I will admit to the slight mad giggle every now and then though."

"We have our own mad scientist then," Barton said. "Guess that qualifies us for something, although I have no clue what the hell it could be."

Tony laughed. "The cool club," he said, taking a last bite of pancake. "I've got to get down to the lab unless you need me for something, Clint."

"Nah, I'm good. I'm going to play with Katie for a while," Barton said. "I'll come down and join you for lunch or something."

"Okay, see you then," Tony said. He gave Katie a pat on the head and vanished into the elevator.

Barton waited until he was sure Tony was really gone and then looked up towards the ceiling. "What did Phil do to him, JARVIS?" he asked.

"I'm not sure what you mean, Sir."

"You told me that Phil was in the lab with Tony last night and he suddenly has a mystery problem he's trying to solve?" Barton said. "I might not be as smart as Tony is, but that one doesn't take much figuring. What happened?"

"I'm not sure that it's a good idea for you to know, Sir," JARVIS said. "Can you trust them to work through this on their own?"

"JARVIS."

"Under protest, Sir," JARVIS said as the TV came to life.


	71. Chapter 71

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys.  
> Surprise. *grins* I forgot to mention yesterday that my days off have changed so my updates this week and next week will be Sun-Thurs. Then I'm heading off on holiday and won't have computer access, so from roughly Nov 18 - Dec 4, there will be no story updates. Should make my detractors happy anyway. I'm going to London for the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Celebration. I promise I'll write while I'm away, as best I can, and have some updates when I'm home again.
> 
> As always, thank you all for being amazing readers. You make writing these stories a joy. :)

Coulson was eating breakfast in the common area with Bruce and Natasha when the elevator opened and Barton came storming out, or storming as well as he could with a cast on his leg. "Where did you get a puppy, Clint?" Coulson asked, blinking a few times.

"Never mind Katie," Barton replied. "What the hell were you thinking, Phil, saying all that crap to Tony? He is not the one at fault here and you have no right to make him feel like crap because you screwed up."

"Clint?" Natasha said softly.

"No, Nat. I don't care. There are problems in the Tower and Tony is doing everything he can to fix them. Yeah, he doesn't know much about being around other people but he's trying and he is scared to death that we're all going to pack up and leave him alone here," Barton said. "It doesn't take a genius to figure out that everyone he loves has left him and then you show up, Phil, and accuse him of trying to sleep with me. In case you hadn't noticed, we're still married. I haven't pushed for divorce papers because I'm still in shock over everything that's happened to me. My husband of ten years almost died and then, when he wakes up, as soon as he's able to move on his own again, goes right into bed with another man. My bed, I might add. Then, on our anniversary, I'm kidnapped and he's too busy screwing this other man to come and find me. The one person in the whole bloody Tower that worked out there was a problem, that cared enough about me to come find me and be next to me every step of the way, to be honest with me is Tony Stark. I'm not you, Phil. I'm not suddenly going to start sleeping with another man. Hell, I'm finished with relationships for good because I'm too messed up to make them work properly. You are going to apologize to Tony and then you're going to stay away from me until I ask to see you again. Right now, I just want to punch you."

"How did he find out?" Bruce asked once Barton had vanished back into the elevator.

"JARVIS?" Natasha said.

"Agent Barton insisted on seeing the footage from the lab yesterday," JARVIS said. "It was against my better judgement to show him the footage, but he insisted. Mr. Stark had not specified that it was restricted."

"It's my fault," Coulson said. "I overreacted yesterday and hurt Tony badly. I do need to apologize, but I'm not sure how. I'll figure something out though. If you'll excuse me."

Bruce looked at Natasha. "I think that things might be getting worse, not better," he said.

"JARVIS, in the future, let's keep the videos of what happens in other parts of the Tower classified," Natasha said. "Things like this aren't going to help the situation any. We want Phil and Clint talking, not yelling at each other."

"I am sorry," JARVIS said. "I realized that the videos were a problem, but I had not anticipated such a negative reaction."

"You're doing your best, JARVIS," Bruce said. "If you're not sure about something, you can ask one of us, but Natasha has a good point. We need people talking and showing them videos of other conversations isn't going to help anything."

"You will need to get Mr. Stark to tell me this, but I will take your advice seriously until I am told otherwise by my creator."

"Best we're going to get, I think," Bruce said. "When did Clint get a puppy?"

Natasha shrugged. "I don't know. I'm going up to check on him, I'll find out."

"Okay, I'll go make sure that Phil and Tony don't kill each other," Bruce said.  
****

Tony was working on something he'd obviously just started to put together when Coulson walked into the lab. "Tony, could I talk to you for a minute?" he asked.

"I can't leave him, Phil," Tony said. "I've been trying to come up with an alternative that doesn't hurt anyone, and I can't. I stay with Clint as support and hurt you. I stop hanging out with Clint and hurt him. I head out to Malibu and I'll come back to an empty Tower. There's no answer that makes everyone happy." He looked up. "Tell me what I'm supposed to do."

"Just what you are doing," Coulson said. "Tony, I'm the one that was out of line yesterday. I'm sorry. I overreacted and said things that I never should have said. You are showing me how remarkable you are and it's just going to take a little time to remember that this is the real you, that the man I met before I died was a mask worn to keep the true man underneath safe and sane in a world that doesn't understand him."

"You know I'd never touch Clint, right?" Tony asked. "I'd never do that to either of you. I just want him happy. I want to see him smile. Katie should be helping, but I don't know what else I can do. I've given him chocolate and ice cream and we've had takeout from his favorite restaurants. I'm working on a new bow for him now, one that is adapted to his new grip, but what else can I do?"

Coulson crossed the lab and pulled Tony into a sort of hug that ended up with Tony's head resting against Coulson's stomach. "Just be yourself," he said. "You're doing something I'm not able to do anymore and yes, Tony, I am very jealous of that. But that's not an excuse to hurt anyone else. I need to deal with my feelings myself, not force someone else to do it and hurt them in the process. I'm the one that's in the wrong. Clint just drove that home again. I think that by hurting you, I hurt him."

"What?"

"He saw the video of the lab yesterday," Coulson said.

Tony pulled back. "JARVIS, did you show Clint the video of the conversation between Agent and me?"

"I did, Sir," JARVIS said. "Under protest, but I did not anticipate such a negative reaction. Agent Romanov and Dr. Banner have driven home that I acted incorrectly."

"Don't do it again, J," Tony said. "I don't care what sort of puppy eyes Barton turns on you, no more showing videos without my okay."

"Yes, Sir."

"Can I ask about Katie?" Coulson said.

Tony ducked his head. "I read a bunch of reports online that said dogs help people heal from all sorts of injuries and other problems, but we can't have animals in the Tower. Not with my work here, but I thought that a puppy would help Clint feel better," Tony said. "So I started researching robots and toys online, thinking that if there was one on the market, I'd buy it for him as a present, but they're all crap and meant for like three-year-olds, so JARVIS and I talked it through and I built Katie."

"She looks real," Coulson said.

"She's a robot with an AI to help her learn," Tony said. "I didn't know what else to do for him. It was all I could think of."

"Not everyone has a friend that will build them a dog," Coulson said. "Tony, I know I won't be able to say that I'm sorry enough, but please believe me when I say that I am. I spoke with JARVIS at length last night and realized a few things. I'm not sure when Clint will want to talk with me again, but I might be able to start making amends."

"I'll talk to him," Tony said. "You're not leaving, right?"

"No, Tony, no; I'm not leaving," Coulson said. "None of us is leaving, unless there's an op, but we will come back after that. I promise you that we'll always come back. This is home now. I don't know what it's like to have a bad childhood or be unsure of my family, but Clint taught me a few things while we were together. I need to re-earn trust from everyone. Can I start with you by proving that I'm not leaving you?"

Tony nodded. "I think so," he said.

"Okay. It'll take time, Tony, but you'll see that I'm telling you the truth. None of us are leaving you for good. I promise you that."


	72. Chapter 72

Barton was tossing a ball to Katie when the elevator opened. "I don't want to talk about it, Nat," he said, not turning around.

"That's fine," she said. "Tell me about your dog."

"Tony made her for me," Barton said. "Watch this. Katie, sit. Isn't that cool?"

"Most puppies can sit, Clint."

"Katie's a robot, Nat. Tell me most robots know how to sit after one day of lessons," Barton said. "Lie down, Katie. We're working on rolling over today."

Natasha nodded. "Stark would build a puppy, would he?"

"Pet hair's a risk to his work, but he wanted me to have a companion," Barton said. "She's awesome."

"Clint, do you and Tony realize how this looks?" Natasha asked, sitting in a chair. "No, don't give me that look. I know the two of you are just friends and you're not doing anything close to sex, but think about it from outside this room. You're staying on his sofa, not coming out into the rest of the Tower. He built you a dog so you wouldn't be lonely. He's abandoning his work any time you need him."

"I thought you were behind all that," Barton said, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest.

"I am. I'm playing devil's advocate right now," she said. "Clint, you wouldn't be here if not for Tony and I'll never be able to thank him enough for that, but you guys have to realize what your relationship looks like to everyone else."

"Screw them," Barton said. "I've never had a friend like Tony before. Sam wouldn't let me and I've been too busy at work to make friends. Tony's relaxing."

"That's not a word people apply to Tony Stark."

"Then they aren't taking the time to get to know him, are they?" Barton asked. "There's stuff I've never been able to talk to you about, Nat, that I can with Tony. It's a bit like when you met Pepper for the first time. I've never seen you take to anyone so fast, not even to me. Why do you get to have a girlfriend and I don't?"

Natasha's lips twitched. "I don't know how Tony would take being called a girl," she said.

"Probably better than you think he would," Barton said. "I can't trust Steve or Phil anymore, Nat, so why should I care how they see me?"

"Because it's having an impact on the team," Natasha said.

"Only impact I've seen on the team is Steve being too damn stubborn to listen to anyone else in the field and almost getting you killed," Barton said. "He works past that mental block, I'll work with him again. He keeps ignoring intel then screw him. I'm out there to stop the threat and keep people alive. I make a callout that I've seen something coming at you guys and he ignores me, that puts you in risk. That's not a team leader, that's a jerk out to prove something."

"So you're saying you're willing to give it another try."

"Whenever I'm cleared for missions again, yeah. Even two more tries because I know how hard it can be to shift to a new mental gear, but if I don't see him making an effort, then all bets are off," Barton said. "I agree with Tony. Out in the field, we should be able to focus on the mission and not any fights happening here at home. We can deal with those later."

"You're not dealing with anything ignoring Phil, Hawkeye."

"I said I don't want to talk about it."

"You're going to have to, whether you want to or not."

"Don't push me, Romanov," Barton said.

"Or what, you'll throw a pillow at me?" she asked. "You're always telling me to talk to people, Clint, and then you hide away up here. Seems to me you're not suiting words to actions."

He pushed up and glared at her. "Any conversation right now would end up with me breaking Phil's nose, and that would really make it hard to talk about things, wouldn't it?" he asked. "If you're just going to sit there and try to piss me off more, you can leave. I've got work to do."

"Teaching a robot to roll over."

"It's all I can do right now," Barton pointed out. "Not exactly like I can go train for anything. You've got the wrong impression from somewhere and you're talking nonsense."

"Am I?"

"You're the one that said Tony was one of us, Nat. You planning to go back on that now?" Barton asked. "That's what it sounds like to me, and that would hurt him badly if you took that away."

"Of course not. I told you, I'm playing devil's advocate right now."

"Well, you suck at it," Barton said. "The only thing you're doing right now is sounding like Steve and Phil. That's the last thing I need around me."

"Clint."

"No. Your plan backfired on you, Romanov," Barton said. "Get out and leave me alone. I'm sick and tired of people telling me what I should be feeling because none of you have been in this position. Just go away."


	73. Chapter 73

"Agent Barton."

"Oh hell, not you too, Nick," Barton said.

"Not me too, what?" Fury asked. He draped his coat over the back of the chair and sat down. "I just wanted to come and see how my best sniper is doing. Talk to me, Agent."

Barton sighed. "It's a mess, Nick," he said. "It's a mess and I don't know how to fix it. Hey, Tony."

"Clint. Nick. Is this a private party?" Tony asked. "Seriously, I can leave."

"I'm not here on business," Fury said. "Tell me what's going on, you two."

"Phil's jealous of how much time I'm spending with Tony and he lashed out yesterday," Barton said.

"He just apologized and we talked," Tony said. "I'm going to give him another chance, Clint. I have to try and get trust back in the team or we're screwed next time we're out in the field."

Fury nodded. "I'll talk with Phil and the others before I leave," he said. "What else, Barton?"

"Nat tried to show me the other side of everything," Barton said. "Telling me that it looks like I'm sleeping with Tony with all my actions recently."

"Wait, she did what?" Tony asked. "I thought she liked me and said I was part of your group now. Did I mess up?"

"No, Tony, you didn't," Barton replied. "I don't know what the hell Natasha was trying to prove coming up here like she did, but the only thing she managed to do was piss me off. I know that I need to go and talk with Phil, but right now, I just want to punch him. He's projecting and it's not fair to anyone."

"It sounds to me like things are coming along about as well as I was expecting them to," Fury sighed. "Barton, I can't order to you talk with Phil again and not make a larger muddle of things, but I need you to start working towards at least being able to work with him in the field again. He's not going to be your handler, I promised you that, but he is the liaison for the Avengers and there's no one else I can trust in that position."

"I know, Sir," Barton said. "It's just not that easy to set this much personal hurt aside. I'm trying though."

"What about Steve?" Tony asked suddenly.

Fury looked over at him. "What about him?"

"How's he holding up? He was really shaken by what my tests showed and then he just vanished," Tony said. "Is he okay?"

"He's dealing with things," Fury said. "I think that you'll find a few things changed next time you're out in the field with him."

"I was just worried that I broke him," Tony said. "I wanted to show him that he needed to listen to other information. I didn't want to destroy him."

"You did fine," Fury said. "Clint, medical wants you over tomorrow to check your hand. They tell me it's possible that cast could come off too."

"That'd be awesome," Barton said. "I'm going crazy not being able to train."

"When you're done at medical, come see me," Fury said. "I need someone to assess some new shooters and your eyes are still fine."

Barton nodded. "Yes, Sir," he said. "I'll be there."

"Good. I'm going to check in with the others," Fury said. "You finish healing up, Barton. I need you back in the field."

"I'll do my best, Nick," Barton said. He looked over at Tony. "So, I guess now I have to talk to Phil."

"You sure you're ready to do this?" Tony asked.

"Nope, but Fury's right. I've got to get back into my professional mindset," Barton replied. "I'm never going to be able to forgive the betrayal on a personal level, Tony, but I can't break the team apart. I know I've got you at my back and that means a lot, especially heading back into the field soon."

"All right, if you're sure," Tony said. "You guys can talk up here if you want to. Totally isolated from everyone else. I'll stay down in the lab and JARVIS can go passive mode until you say his name."

"I'd like that, Tony, thank you," Barton said. "Would you tell Phil I want to talk to him, please?"

"If he's still in one piece when Fury's done with him, yeah."


	74. Chapter 74

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. My apologies for not updating yesterday. I had to stay up late to do some stuff for my trip and, as I suffer from fibromyalgia, threw myself into a flare bad enough that I was forced to stay home for a day and couldn't focus on anything. I'm doing better and am back to a semi-regular routine, including updates.
> 
> Thanks for your patience. :) My last update before my trip will be Sunday, Nov. 17th.

"Clint?"

"Hey, come on in," Barton said. "Fury done with you?"

"For now, but he said he reserves judgement until he sees us in the field again." Coulson sat down in the chair Tony usually used and wiped his hands on his jeans. "Tony said you wanted to talk?"

Barton nodded. "I'm starting rehab and PT tomorrow," he said. "That puts me on the grid to be back out in the field in the next couple of weeks. We need to be able to work together, Phil. I can't let a personal mess compromise a mission."

"What do you want, Clint?" Coulson asked. 

"A time machine," Barton replied. "I wish I could go back in time and fix this whole stupid mess before it ever happened, but I can't. You say you want to try and earn my trust back, Phil. To do that, you need to stop hurting my friend."

"I'm sorry for that, Clint. You don't know how sorry I am," Coulson said. "There's no excuse for misspeaking in a situation like this. I was letting my heart rule my head and hurt Tony in the process. He's, somehow, willing to give me another chance. I don't know how, but he is."

"Tony's heart is bigger than anyone realizes," Barton said. "I came back in medical with Natasha watching over my, Phil, and she didn't tell me you died during the attack. I don't know why, but she didn't say a damn thing about it. I went off to that battle, shooting aliens from a roof, without knowing you were fighting for your life in the bowels of the Helicarrier. When I came back, after everything was over, Fury told me. I went to your bedside after a quick shower and I didn't leave again until you woke up. The doctors told me it was a five percent chance that you would. The only reason you were on life-support like you were was because of Fury. They wanted to pull you, and I couldn't do anything to stop them. Yeah, I'm your medical proxy, but I'd been taken over by an alien. The doctors weren't going to listen to me."

"I didn't know if I would get you back," Coulson said. "I watched the video of your possession over and over again, trying to work out a way to break the hold the staff had on you, that Loki had on you. I begged Nick not to burn you. Protocol states you should have been shot on sight, but he was willing to give us a chance to get you back. Seeing you next to me, seeing your eyes clear of the taint from the staff, I was so happy, Clint. You were there and you were mine again."

"So what happened?" Barton asked. "If you were so happy to have me back, why did you kick me out?"

"I was weak," Coulson replied. "Everyone jokes about it, but Captain America, he's my idol. The ideal that I have always tried to reach for in my life. To help people and do good. Suddenly, there he was. At my bedside worried about me. It was intoxicating, Clint. I'd already been feeling smothered, like I couldn't breathe with you in the room, but I shouldn't have kicked you out like I did. I should have been stronger to not fall for the old-American charm that was being directed at me."

"If you had just asked me, Phil, I would have given you space," Barton said. "I would have gone and taken a nap, trained, hell, I would have done paperwork to give you some time alone if you had just asked me to. You didn't need to bar me from your room."

"I know. I know I didn't. It was the wrong move and it hurt you badly," Coulson said. "I'm so sorry for that, Clint. After that, when you were gone, everything just kept snowballing until I woke up one morning and it was Steve Rogers in bed with me instead of the man I'd sworn my life to. There was no conscious decision to sleep with him and I should have told him it was a mistake, that I was married and I had to tell my husband the truth, but it was almost as if I couldn't."

Barton shifted a little. "Katie, up," he said, patting his lap. The robot jumped into his lap and he started to stroke her softly. "Don't you dare compare my rape at Loki's hands with you falling into bed with another man, Phil," he said. "Don't you dare demean the pain I suffered through all of that."

"I wouldn't," Coulson said. "The only one that is even close to knowing what you suffered at Loki's hands in Natasha, and even then, it wouldn't be exactly the same as she did. You were taken from me by an insane alien, and I questioned everything. When I woke up that morning, my first reaction was confusion. I didn't know where you were, what you were doing, and Steve was there sleeping."

"I was on base," Barton said. "Medical had me for another round of tests and I didn't get out until afternoon. I started picking up on things when I came back, but I wanted to believe you wouldn't break trust with me, Phil. You had promised me that you would always be there. You married me, even with my cruddy background and the people I murdered, but then I saw the look in Steve's eyes and I knew. I knew because I had that same look the first time you slept with me. I started watching more and there were nights you didn't come to bed. That's when I started talking security protocols with our resident AI and headed into the vents. I found you three nights later, Phil."

"Clint, why didn't you say JARVIS's name?"

"He's on passive record right now. If I say his name, he goes active and calls Tony," Barton replied. "It's my safety net talking to you, Phil. Why did you keep doing it? Was I too clingy? Too needy? Why did you keep sleeping with him?"

"It sounds so cliche to say it, but I think, and I don't even know if this is true or not, but I think I'm having a midlife crisis," Coulson said. "Well, you know what I mean. Clint, you are perfect the way you are. I don't care about your past, that you killed when you were a kid. You know that. We've talked about it, talked about everything and the only thing I care about is that you had to suffer through everything."

"Tony told me that Fury got a hold of Sam," Barton said. "That I don't need to worry about him ever again."

"I wanted him," Coulson said with a sad smile. "Fury denied my request. Said that I was too close to it all and I might make a mistake. Natasha wasn't involved either, remarkably enough. Fury didn't get to be director because he's a sly lying bastard, although that helped a lot. He was top-ranked in field missions before he was promoted up to deputy. He did it all on his own and told me the bare facts later. You don't need to know them, Clint, but Tony's right. Sam will never trouble you again."

"It all feels like a dream, in a way," Barton said. "Not the same blue-quality of my time under Loki's spell, but everything that happened since. Apparently I'm associating with something that already happened, even if I'm not sure I believe that. It's like I've been living my worse nightmare and there's no one next to me to wake me up and hold me, no matter how hard I struggle. I know I'm not blameless in this, Phil. I withdrew when I probably should have fought, but I was scared."

"Clint, you did what you had to do," Coulson said. "Do not ever let anyone blame you for what you did. I was, and am, in the wrong and I'll do whatever it takes to regain your trust. I'm going to be spending time with Tony as well, being very careful to watch what I say to him. I promise that I am going to do everything in my power to prove to you again that I am worthy of your trust. I don't care if it takes me the rest of my life. It will be a life well spent."

"I'm not going to ask for a divorce," Barton said softly, looking down at Katie. "I just don't want you to get the wrong idea about my reasoning. If you want to find another partner, someone not broken and able to be with you fully, as a spouse is supposed to do, then tell me and I'll sign the papers."

"No," Coulson said. "I haven't shown it, hell, I haven't acted it, but you're my life, Clint. I know I screwed up. I broke trust and broke your heart at the same time. I've done everything but show you how much I love you. I'm never going to want anyone else and if having this thing connection between us ever gets to be too much, then we can talk about what we want to do then. I'm not going to push you for anything."

"I don't promise to take you back, Phil," Barton said. "I don't know if I can ever trust anyone like that again. Tony's got a really remarkable toy catalog and those are going to be my only partners for a while. Maybe forever."

Coulson nodded. "Whatever you need, Clint," he said. "We'll start back at step one. I know that Tony and Natasha won't let you out alone with me, not yet, but could I make you dinner tonight? We could eat out on the deck."

"We can try," Barton said. "JARVIS, tell Tony everything's as okay as it can be and he can come up if he wants to."

"He has a surprise for you, Sir," JARVIS said. "Agent Coulson, Sir, may I order in anything for you to cook with?"

"That'd be nice, JARVIS, thank you," Coulson said. "I'll make you a list. Clint, can I come get you for dinner?"

"Yeah," Barton said. "I'll be here."


	75. Chapter 75

"A new bow?" Barton asked, looking at Tony like he was crazy. "What happened to my field one?"

"Nothing, it's tucked away safe just where you left it," Tony replied. "Here, just hold it for a second, Clint."

Barton sighed, but took the bow in his bad hand, careful of his stitches. "The balance is different," he said. "Stark, you do know I hold the bow in my other hand when I shoot, right?"

"Yeah, I know, but I've also seen you shoot wrong handed and wanted to make you something that will work either way," Tony said. "This also has a slightly different draw weight than your current bow."

"I don't have my gloves," Barton said. "Thanks, Tony, I'll give it a try when I'm okay'd to shoot again."

"There are a few other things on there, but you have to be shooting to find them," Tony said. "I know you can adjust your grip, Clint. Don't ever thing that this is my saying that you can't work around losing your finger. This is me trying for upgrades to equipment. I'd work on Widow's if she let me near them."

That got a small smile. "Nat doesn't trust anyone with her bites," Barton said. "Seriously, they had to teach her how to do repairs and maintenance on them. How's your search for our evil villain's lair coming?"

"Slowly. Wherever it is Randy was building those cloaking devices, he's got it well hidden," Tony sighed. "The tech is amazing and, had he not maimed you, tried to hurt me, and take over New York, I'd be helping him get patents for it because, honestly, this has military applications like no tomorrow. Instead he uses it for evil. I'm never going to be able to understand the evil genius."

"I don't think you're supposed to understand evil geniuses," Barton said. "Especially when they're ranting about things. It's better to take a nap or shoot them."

"Sir, forgive the interruption, but Captain Rogers is here," JARVIS said. "He wishes to speak with you."

"Any ideas, J?" Tony asked.

"He won't say, Sir," JARVIS replied.

"You going to be okay, Clint?"

"Yeah, I've got some thinking to do and I might catch a nap," Barton said. "Tony, Phil's making me dinner tonight. Can you maybe stay on the common level in case I need you for something?"

"Absolutely, no problem," Tony said. "I can work on some designs on my tablet or something. You need me, Clint, you call. I know we're all working on rebuilding trust, but I don't want you hurt."

"I know. Thanks, Tony. I'll see you later."

Tony squeezed Barton's shoulder and headed for the elevator. "Where is Steve, JARVIS?"

"On the main floor, Sir, out on the deck," JARVIS replied. "Agent Sitwell is in the kitchen with Agent Romanov."

"Sounds like an agent invasion," Tony said. "Passive record, J. You know the code."

"Indeed, Sir."

Tony grabbed a cup of coffee from the kitchen and headed out onto the deck. "Steve?"

"Hey, I should have called first, but I wasn't sure you'd talk to me," Steve said. "I wanted to ask you a couple of questions and apologize."

"Steve, you're in training to bring you up to speed on things, so you're out of the loop here," Tony said, sitting down in one of the chairs. "We're all working to bring trust and honesty back into team life. It means no lying to each other about anything worse than leaving dirty socks on the sofa and talking with each other. It's really uncomfortable, but hey, trust. If it means people won't leave and the team can stay alive, I'll work past the sick stomach and shakes I get any time I have to talk about feelings."

"Tony, I'm sorry for not listening to you in the field," Steve said, interrupting when Tony took a breath. "I'm sorry for all the trouble I put you to to prove to me that you were right and I was wrong."

"You weren't wrong, Steve, you were misinformed," Tony said. "There's a difference between the two."

"Whatever, I still almost got Natasha killed, and that's not something I can overlook," Steve said. "I guess I managed to forget exactly how useful JARVIS is because I was focused on trying to tell when you were just talking and when you were telling me the truth."

"I talk. I talk a lot," Tony said. "It's hard to shut me up and some people, Howard included, said that I like the sound of my own voice too much. But I will never, never lie to you when there is a life on the line and I don't know where the hell you got that idea, Steve."

"From people I shouldn't have been listening to," Steve said. "I'm sorry for that, Tony. I really, truly am. I'm going to try to do better in the field to listen to everyone. Jasper is working with me to understand computers a little better and how data streams can change in the middle of battle. It's going to be hard for me, but I'm going to do my best to understand quickly and suit facts in with what I know before the battle to be able to keep everyone alive. I'm hoping you would be willing to help me with that, once I have the basics."

"I'll try, but it's possible I can't break it down enough for you," Tony said.

Steve shook his head with a smile. "Tony, you're stubborn enough to keep going until I understand it, and that's what I need right now," he said. "Can I ask you a question about Howard?"

"I might not answer."

"That's fine, it's your past and I understand that," Steve said. "It's something Natasha said to me. That Howard beat you for not being Captain America?"

Tony looked down at his hands and sighed. "That's what everyone thought," he said. "Howard, he talked about you all the time. Some of the first things I remember him telling me were about you and how great you were. As a measure, you're impossible to match, Steve. You're unique among mankind, and that's a good thing. Unique is good, but it's lonely. Howard beat me because he was a drunk that lost something important to him. I don't know if it was you or not, he never said."

"Howard was an amazing man, Tony. He helped me when no one else would," Steve said. "He helped me get Bucky back, and that's something I will never forget. I think I've been unfairly comparing you to him this whole time, and I need to stop. You are your own person and, while I can see a lot of Howard in you, you're not him. What is it you said, that's good?"

"Yeah, it's good," Tony said. "One question for you now, what about Clint?"

"He's never going to be able to forgive me," Steve said. "I've done a lot of thinking, Tony, and as much as Coulson is in the wrong, so am I. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I really do love Coulson. I think though that it's not love like Coulson feels for Barton."

"He treated you as you and you fell in love with that," Tony said.

Steve looked a little shocked. "How did you know that?"

"Genius," Tony said with a small sigh. "Steve, Clint is my best friend, my bro, and that means I am going to be messing around him while we're fighting. If there's something we can do to help end the battle faster, then we're going to do it. Can you understand that we know what we're doing because I know science and weights and things, and he grew up in a circus? We're not going to get ourselves killed."

"I can try," Steve said. "I need to talk with Clint too, but I don't know what to say to him."

"Start with I'm sorry and go from there?" Tony suggested. "Just not today. He's already had enough emotional talks and he's still recovering from his kidnapping. Give me a call when you want to talk to him and I'll get it set up for you."

"So, can we try to get back on track, Tony?"

"Yeah, we can try," Tony agreed.


	76. Chapter 76

"Sir, Agent Coulson is on his way up," JARVIS announced later that night. "Mr. Stark wishes me to tell you that I will be on passive record on the deck and should you need me, or him, for any reason, simply say my name."

"Thanks, JARVIS, I appreciate it," Barton said. He picked up his cane. "Katie, come."

Coulson stepped out of the elevator and smiled when he saw the puppy next to Barton. "She's amazing."

"I know. I think Tony might have an untapped market here," Barton said. "I just haven't had a chance to suggest it to him. Think about how many people are allergic to animals that need some sort of therapy dog or cat. This could be the solution right here."

"You should suggest it to him. I think that would be a wonderful idea," Coulson said. "I checked with medical to be sure you could eat whatever you wanted, Clint, and made your favorite. Are you ready to eat?"

"As ready as I'm going to be," Barton said.

"All right, after you then." Coulson said, stepping to the side.

Even with as mad as he was, with trust broken, Barton still knew that he could have Coulson behind him without worrying about anything. The man had broken trust, broken so much, but he wasn't going to attack, but Barton still paused. "I can't do it, Sir."

"What?"

"Have you behind me," Barton said. "Not right now."

"Oh, of course, I'm sorry, Clint." Coulson pushed the button for the elevator to open again and stepped inside. "I was hoping we could talk some more over supper, but if you want to keep the conversation light, we can do that too."

"I don't know, Coulson," Barton said. "I've never had anyone care enough about me to try and win back my trust, so I don't know what I'm doing here."

"It's just like when we first met, Clint. We can talk about whatever you want to talk about tonight," Coulson said, leading the way out onto the common level. "Everything is waiting for us out on the deck. I have to ask, does Katie eat?"

That got a smile. "No, she doesn't," Barton said. "Tony hasn't really talked about her maintenance schedule with me, but I know he has one. I'm almost positive it's going to be something like Dummy and the other bots have."

"I still just can't believe she's not real," Coulson said. "Both chairs have good sight views and backs are protected. I wasn't sure where you wanted to sit."

"Either is fine," Clint said.

"Tony added a third chair so you can prop your leg up," Coulson said. "I think he's memorized your medical file and everything you're supposed to be doing. I'm glad you have someone taking such good care of you, Clint, when I know it can't be me."

Barton settled in one of the chairs and pulled the extra one over to rest his leg on. "You're not going to go off in fits of jealousy again, right?" he asked.

"I might, but I'll be sure to be on my floor with only JARVIS to witness them," Coulson said. "Clint, I've been the one to take care of you for so long, it's painful to know that the reason I can't be with you for everything right now is because I broke your heart. It's my fault and I have to deal with the emotions on my own."

"Did you know that Steve came to talk to Tony today?" Barton asked, taking a plate. "Thank you."

"No, I didn't," Coulson said. "I haven't spoken to Steve in a while, so I don't know what all is going on with him. Do you know how the talk went?"

"I was asleep when he left, I guess," Barton said. "I'm not sleeping great, so I've been napping a lot during the day. Tony didn't tell me anything, but I'm sure he will if it's something I need to know. He wants to get trust rebuilt on the team, enough that we can go out and do our jobs, but I'm not sure about down time."

"Clint, I've seen you work with people you wanted to shoot," Coulson said with a small fond smile. "I know you can work with anyone and no one, not even Director Fury, is asking you to play nice with everyone here in the Tower. If you need to stay away from Steve in your down time, then do it. Nick is only worried about how the team is going to perform in battle, and I think we can get there without too much trouble."

"I'm still going to have to talk to him," Barton sighed. "I know that much, that he wants to talk to me. I just don't know what he wants to say to me."

"I'm sure there's going to be an apology," Coulson said. "How's the steak?"

"Perfect. I've never seen you mess up a steak, Coulson," Barton said. "Not even in the middle of nowhere with the unreliable stove."

"I'll give Tony this, he does have everything totally up to date in his kitchen," Coulson said. "I did have to wonder about a pie I saw in there. JARVIS said it was for you for later. It looked like it had chocolate in it."

Barton grinned, the memory of the pie hitting Steve Rogers flashing through his mind. "For tomorrow when I'm home from medical," he said. "That's the only reason I can think of, at any rate. It's his favorite type and, honestly, it's not too bad. I don't know if I can accept an apology from Steve."

"You accepted mine."

"You don't hate me for being who I am," Barton pointed out. "Steve didn't just help break up my marriage, Phil. He's been trying to get me kicked off the team since our second battle together. If not for Fury trusting me as much as he does, I'd already be gone."

"I never thought about it like that," Coulson admitted. "Clint, I'm sorry for not standing up for you in medical. I've changed my file that if I'm ever on those drugs for any reason, only you, Fury, and Natasha are allowed to see me. My reasoning skills are compromised and I'm not risking myself or those I love because I can't think clearly. I spoke with one of the doctors that had been treating me, and he said that it's not a common response to the drugs, so he wasn't sure what happened."

"Is it possible that you've been wanting to sleep with Captain America your whole life and the drugs lowered your inhibitions?" Barton asked. "You said yourself that you don't know how you got to bed with him the first time."

Coulson shook his head. "I'm not blaming chemicals for my failings, Clint. It's not fair to you or me to do that," he said. "I don't know what happened there, but it wasn't the drugs. They might have fuzzed me enough that I agreed with what Steve was saying about you, but they didn't lead me to bed with him. I may never get that memory back, but I swear to you that it will never happen again."

Barton shrugged and went back to his dinner. Coulson bit back a sigh and started in on his food as well. Dinner wasn't going quite as smoothly as he'd hoped it would.


	77. Chapter 77

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating today because I'm training a new officer tomorrow. Last update will be Monday.

"The site looks good," the doctor said, studying Barton's hand carefully. "It's healed up nicely and you can start light weight training tomorrow, Agent Barton. You'll need to take it easy on your leg for another week or so, but the cast can come off. X-Rays show the fracture is healed, although I don't know how you managed that one."

"I've always healed fast, Doc," Barton replied. "Even as a kid. Only thing that saved me a couple of times. I'll swim and lift for the next couple of weeks just to be safe. No sparring until I'm sure the leg isn't going to break again. What about my ribs. What did you see there?"

"The bruising has healed up nicely," the doctor said, turning to the light board on the wall. "You can see where the areas of concern were compared to the new films we took today. Don't overdo any training and you'll be fine."

Barton grinned. "That's been the biggest argument since I signed on. I know what my body can take, even injured, and you guys think I'm pushing to damn hard," he said. "You won't see me back in with cracked ribs, Doc, I promise."

"I'll believe you this time. If I do, then the next time will be different," the doctor said. "We aren't clearing you for field duty yet, there's still several weeks of rehab and therapy to go through, but you're off medical leave, Agent Barton. Which trainer do you want to work with?"

"Andy. He's the one I always go to," Barton said. "I'll check in with him later. Director Fury needs me for an observation on a class."

"I'll be checking."

Barton hopped carefully off the table with a grin. "Promise I'll set up my appointments when Fury is done with me," he said. "Thanks, Doc. You have no idea how good it feels to have those bandages off." He headed out and down to the gym and firing range where he'd agreed to meet with Director Fury to look over the class. "Director."

"Agent Barton, what's the final word?"

"Another month, Sir, but I'm on admin leave rather than medical right now," Barton replied with a grin. "Means I can help you out. Where are these kids you wanted me to look at?"

"Just checking out their weapons," Fury said. "They don't know you're here today."

"So I'm the stressor for their test then?"

"If they get flustered with Hawkeye watching them, then I don't need anyone signing off on their shooting abilities," Fury said. He pushed the door to the range open and strode into the room with his coat flapping out behind him. "Ear guards."

The agent in the equipment locker just handed over a black pair without comment. Barton shook his head at the offered pair, preferring to be able to hear not only the discharge, but the click of the guns as they were fired. The only time he wore guards was when he was shooting a gun of his own in the enclosed range. Fury moved to stand against the back wall and crossed his arms over his chest to watch. Barton looked at the kids and shook his head. They were all young and a couple of them looked like they would have trouble handling one of the larger weapons. He leaned against the ledge at the equipment locker and looked across to the instructor.

"Weapons live," the instructor called, reading the look in Barton's eyes perfectly.

Barton watched the first clip fired with his head tilted to the right. Something wasn't right. He signaled the instructor to stop the class for a minute. "There's someone firing non-standard issue bullets," he said in the silence. "Someone here is risking their classmates and if they don't own up to it right now, there will be an inspection of weapons and no one will like it when I find these bullets."

"Who are you, anyway?" a guy about halfway down asked.

"Hawkeye," Barton grinned, smile widening slightly when the guy went pale. "Only about half the rumors about me are true, but you have to ask yourselves which half? Guns secure, now."

"Agent Barton," the instructor said, "are you positive about this?"

"Someone is firing coated rounds," Barton said. "They sound different as they leave the chamber and if you didn't have your guards on, you would hear it, too."

"If I didn't have my ear guards on, I'd be deaf," the instructor pointed out. "I spend more time here than you do."

"Do you want to bet on that, Agent Morris?" Fury asked from the back wall.

"No, Sir."

Fury grinned. "Didn't think so. Hawkeye, tell them the risk of coated bullets with our training weapons."

"The guns you are training with here are not the standard firearms you will get in a store," Barton said, starting to check bullets. "These guns are made just for us by our own R&D department to fire the bullets that are issued with them. Anything else creates friction in the gun and risks an explosion. You can fire up to twenty non-standard rounds before the gun blows up in your face, but that twenty-first bullet," he picked up a gun and grabbed the girl next to it by the arm, "that's the one that will blow up in your face and shrapnel injuries are not fun. Here you go, Director Fury, Sir. I assume you'll have people handle this."

"You assume correctly, Hawkeye," Fury said. "Thank you for your help. What do you think about the rest of them?"

"Sloppy and won't last ten minutes in the field, Sir. Give me an hour and I'll have them whipped into shape."

"Granted," Fury said. He pointed at Morris. "You, come with me."

Hawkeye bit his lip and turned to his new class. He could fix the problems, but it wasn't going to be easy.


	78. Chapter 78

Natasha found Barton in the mess later in the afternoon, sitting by himself in the far corner slowly working his way through a sandwich. "Heard you stopped a girl blowing herself up," she said, sitting down next to him.

"Morris wasn't paying enough attention to that class," Barton said. "Don't know what his problem is, but those kids would have gotten themselves killed out in the field shooting like they were. Fury's got me working with them the rest of the week, try and fix the mistakes that should have been fixed first week."

"That's not enough to make you this mad," Natasha said, leaning over. "What's going on, Clint?"

"People are talking again," Barton said, dropping the sandwich back on his plate. "Saying that I should be broken up over losing a damn finger. Normal people would be, but I've never been normal. So I lost a finger. So what? It's not one I needed to work and there's a hell of a lot worse Randy and his cronies could have cut off me before Iron Man got in there and pulled me out."

"People are idiots," Natasha said. "Remember what they said when I came back from my op in Russia? That going back to my home country should have broken me completely, that my mind should have been gone and no one could trust me because my former training would have been reinforced while I was there."

Barton sighed. "I don't know why it's got me so upset, Nat. It's like people are trying to tell me how the hell I'm supposed to be reacting to things without knowing everything," he said. 

"They look and they think they see," she said. "Do you want to talk more about it?"

"Not here," Barton said. "It's too personal."

"Coulson?"

"Partly. Steve found me after my class," Barton said.

"That must have been awkward," Natasha said. "What did he say?"

"We need to talk," Barton said. "No asking if we could, no questions about how I am or what medical had to say, just that we needed to talk. I'm not even sure I want to talk to him, Nat. I know I have to be able to work with him again, go out in the field, but I don't know if I can stand to sit and actually talk to him about anything. I screwed so much up at the beginning, I don't even know what I want."

"To heal. To have family. To love," Natasha said. "Clint, you have changed. We have changed. We have all been in a battle none of us were trained for, and we survived. That should have bound us together far closer than blood, but it didn't because Steve and Phil were stupid."

Barton looked over at her. "Phil doesn't remember their first night together," he whispered.

Natasha looked up sharply at the junior agent approaching their table. The guy swallowed, but stood his ground. "The doctor asked me to find Agent Barton and remind him to check in with the therapy department."

"When I'm done eating," Barton said. "The doctors should be happy to see me eating. I'll check in. Go."

"Do you want me to look into it?" Natasha asked when they were alone again.

"I don't know, Nat. I can't see it, can you?"

"No, and I don't want to think it, but we need to be sure," she said. "I'll check Coulson's medical staff as well. It's possible they did something we don't know about, caused a reaction with medicines they didn't report. You heal, Clint. That's your job, and if anyone keeps coming after you because you're acting wrong, tell me. I'll take care of it, or I'll tell Bruce. We've been wanting to check the distance the Hulk can send a man with one punch."

"You scare me some times," Barton said with a small grin.

"Clint, I want a home as much as you and Tony do," Natasha said. "I'll do whatever I can to help you out, but you have to put yourself first right now. Think about what it is you want from life now. Have you ever taken a chance to be alone and do what you want?"

Barton shrugged. "Sort of," he said. "For a year or so, then I hooked up with Phil."

"You need to find your own wings, Clint. Not those someone else gives you."

"Easy to say, not so easy to do."

"Your friends will help you," Natasha said. "Come on, you're done eating. We'll check in with your favorite therapist and then you go home. I'll nose around a bit here and be home in time for dinner."

"Don't know what I'd do without you, Nat."

She bumped his shoulder. "You'll never have to find out."


	79. Chapter 79

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey gang, so I misestimated how sick I would get on my trip. Traveling with chronic illness is a toss-up in the best of times. So that means I have most of a chapter for this story and no other updates ready to go. I'm working on Level 7 at the moment, and almost have a complete set of chapters for the episode that aired on the 19th. I'm still sick and trying to recover.
> 
> Updates over the next few months are going to be a little more irregular. I'm quitting my job and moving across the country with my family, so that means I'll be losing internet off and on depending on hotels as we drive. I'll do my best to keep writing, but don't worry if updates are missed here and there. I'll be back with a schedule as soon as I possibly can be.
> 
> Clint and Tony got away from me in here. Hopefully this works out okay.

Tony was in the lab reviewing the data set from the first tests from the seeding missile when Barton appeared in the doorway. "Hey, you're castless," Tony said with a grin. "Good news, Clint?"

"Another month to finish healing and I'll be back with the team," Barton replied. "Fury's put me on teaching duty, working with some kids that weren't trained right by their shooting teacher."

"How does that even happen?"

"When you're worried that your wife is cheating on you, it's hard to focus," Barton sighed. "I feel like I should be mad at him for slipping like this, for risking the kids, but I just can't."

"You know what he's going through," Tony said. "Katie's over with Dummy. They've been having fun."

Barton grinned. "I'm going to take her with me tomorrow," he said. "Thanks again for keeping her today. Tony, have you thought about other applications for Katie's bot?"

"Like what?"

"Is she commercially viable?"

Tony sat down on a rolling stool and pushed over to another monitor. "I didn't check, to be honest," he admitted. "I built her for you because you need a friend. Tell me what you're thinking."

"How many people need therapy animals but are allergic or can't take care of a live animal?" Barton sank down on the sofa and grinned when Katie trotted over to lean up against his legs. "Could you make other bots like Katie to help those people out?"

"JARVIS, start running numbers for me," Tony said. "That's a good idea, Clint. I never even thought about it."

"It was just a random thought that came to me," Barton said with a shrug. "Tony, Steve caught me on base today."

Tony looked over. "How'd that go?"

"He told me we had to talk. I'm still not sure what the hell I want to say to him, but he didn't ask me to talk, he told me we had to talk," Barton sighed. "I was already dealing with a bunch of idiots telling me I should be hysterical about losing my finger."

"You've taken that well from the first time you woke up," Tony said. "I think people are forgetting who you are, Clint. If they had touched any other finger, or your eyes, then yeah, I'd expect you to be freaking out, but this is just annoying."

"How did you get used to the arc reactor?" Barton asked. "I don't think I've ever asked you about that."

"You've read the files?" Tony said. "I mean, you know about the whole missile attack, kidnapping and hoping I died Obie was after, right?"

"Yeah. I realized you were just as familiar with betrayal as I am," Barton said. "you know what I went through on the deepest level."

"For my sins," Tony sighed. "When I woke up in that cave, for a minute, I thought about pulling that battery off and dying. Just rolling over and giving up. Then I realized they weren't going to let me die. Those bastards wanted their weapons too badly and I knew there wasn't an escape without making my suit. The first one was to get me out of there, but seeing my company's weapons there, weapons they shouldn't have had, it messed me up, Clint. When I got back to the states, back home, my mind was in a jumble like it never had been before." Tony looked down at his hands. "I've never really talked to anyone about any of this before."

"You don't have to," Barton said. "I didn't mean to pull up bad memories."

"You didn't. They're always in the back of my mind," Tony said. "I can't let anyone touch the reactor. Not after I had part of it pulled out of my chest by a man I'd trusted my whole life. Pepper could touch near it, but only when I had a shirt on. She's probably the closest I've come to trusting anyone that deeply again. It's hard."

Barton nodded with a sigh. "Right there with you," he said. Movement outside the lab caught his eye and he froze.

"Clint?" Tony asked just before the door opened.

Coulson walked in with a couple of CD cases in his hands. "Tony, we just received some footage from one of our satellite contacts over in Europe and there's an anomaly I think you'll be interested in."

"What is it?" Tony asked.

"This is about a day's drive from the castle where Clint was held captive," Coulson said.

Barton pushed up and walked over to join the other men, keeping Coulson in clear sight. "Is this the lab we've been looking for?" he asked.

"It's possible," Coulson said. "I heard what happened today, Clint. Good work catching that girl. She's still being interrogated because she won't tell us anything about where she got the bullets or how she decided to start firing them in that class specifically."

Barton snorted. "I'd talk to the wife involved," he said, recognizing that Coulson was in work mode and nothing about their personal lives would be mentioned. "Morris said he was worried his wife's been cheating on him and that's why he messed up that class so badly. Check for connections between the girl and the wife."

"The wife isn't vetted," Coulson said.

"I'm not saying Morris isn't a good agent. It's possible the wife has picked up on more than anyone knows, including him."

"We'll look into it," Coulson said. "Good idea, Clint."

Tony had been busy uploading the data from the two discs and pulled the information up on the screen. "JARVIS, project image one to hologram. I need to be able to work with it," he said. "Excuse me. Okay, so we've got mountains and trees. JARVIS, strip those out, I need a clear view. Okay, that's a castle and pretty big. Image two now, trees out. Zoom me in. Son of a bitch."

"What is it, Tony?" Barton asked.

"This is why I haven't been able to find Randy's lab, work area and minions," Tony replied. "This is what he's been hiding from SHIELD."

"He found a way to cloak the castle, didn't he?" Coulson asked.

"It should be impossible," Tony said. He grabbed one of the small globes and held it up. "This is from the robots and you can see that it's well proportioned compared to the robot itself. I don't have one from the people that kidnapped Clint, but it wouldn't have to be much bigger. It's also possible that the kidnappers had two of these, but I think that's unlikely. There's a high risk of one failing and then you have half a body walking around, and even today, that's weird."

"How many globes to cover the castle?" Coulson asked.

Tony sighed. "There's a bug in these that's been keeping me from turning them on," he admitted. "We've been able to scan them and I've been trying to build my own, but it's going to take time."

"I'll recommend that we monitor the site until you can find a way to break through this signal," Coulson said. "I know you're working on a bunch of things, Tony, but if you can move this up the list for me?"

"It's number one on my list, Coulson," Tony said. "I know I'm a super hero and miracle worker, but I don't want to blow up my only copies of this tech."

"I understand that, Tony, and I know how you work," Coulson said. "I'm sorry, that request came out wrong. I'm just worried about the possible logistics of mounting a successful op on an invisible target."

"Tony, you always record everything in battle, right?" Barton asked.

"Yeah."

"Does that include any electronic signals in the area?"

Tony stopped pacing and stared at Barton for a long minute. Then he grabbed something off his desk, tossed it to the other man and dove into his work. 

"Katie, come," Barton said. "You'll see him when you see him, Phil."

"Chocolate?" Coulson asked, leading the way out into the hall.

"Sort of a thing from when he rescued me," Barton replied. He followed Coulson into the elevator and leaned against the far wall. "I hate that my personal crap is distracting Tony so much. He should have worked that out on his own."

"You and Tony make a good team, Clint, and I think the two of you together are going to scare SHIELD once you're both back on form."

Barton snorted. "My anchor is gone," he said softly. "I'll be able to work, but I'm not going to be fine for a long time."

"What can I do to help you, Clint?" Coulson asked.

"I don't know," Barton replied.


	80. Chapter 80

"Agent Romanov, would you like to tell me why I've had two of my medical staff show up in hysterics?" Fury asked.

"Only if it's in a secure room, Sir," she replied, looking up from the report she'd been reading.

Fury shut the door behind him and crossed his arms over his chest. "You know damn well this is a secure room," he said. "Tell me what the hell is going on now."

"Coulson suffered a blackout that was unreported to anyone," Natasha said. "He woke up in bed with Steve the next morning having no clue what happened the night before or how they had come to be there. Neither Clint nor I believe that Steve would have drugged Coulson, so I went looking for another answer."

"Terrorizing medical in the process."

"They deserved it," Natasha said. "Those two doctors messed up on Coulson's medicines and caused the blackout. There would have been confusion enough that it's possible Coulson believed that Steve was Clint and didn't realize anything was wrong until he woke up the next morning and the medicine had left his system. That does not excuse his behavior in returning to bed with Steve, but I wanted an answer for what happened this first time." She leaned back in the chair. "They are lucky I did not maim them for this."

"How did this go unreported?" Fury demanded.

"Coulson was ashamed of what happened and might not have realized the blackout was medically induced," Natasha said. "There is mention of it here in one of the notes in his chart, but it was never brought to anyone else's attention, as it should have been. Coulson told the doctor what happened, but didn't elaborate or push for an explanation."

"So now this leads me to another question, Romanov, and that's how much of what happened in medical can be blamed on the drugs," Fury said. "The doctors assured me they were using only established procedures. Were they lying?"

"Not as such, no," Natasha said. "But some of the drugs they used have not been tested beyond our labs, and this was their first use on a human patient. I have found all the notes that the doctors attempted to keep from you. Should I see them again, Sir, they will not like what happens to them."

"You will leave them to me," Fury said. "Get copies of everything up to my office and then take these to Dr. Banner. I want his take on the drugs involved and what ramifications we're looking at long term."

She nodded. "Yes, Sir."  
****

Bruce was in his lab when Natasha came in with a box. "What's all this?" he asked.

"Safe spot to put this down?"

"The desk over there is fine," Bruce said. "What's going on, Natasha?"

"I found out that not all the medicines the doctors used to treat Coulson during his recovery were fully sanctioned and approved for use on a human," Natasha said. "One combination led to a blackout period where Coulson first slept with Steve. He believed it to be related to his condition, his recovery, but it wasn't. The doctors have attempted to hide all of this from us, Bruce. Fury wants you to review everything and figure out if there's any possible lingering effects we need to be on the watch for."

"From what I've seen, Phil's doing fine," Bruce said. He took out a folder and flipped it open. "Now that's not to say I can suddenly see into his bone structure or something, but without running some tests on him, it might be hard to figure anything out. Have you talked with him yet?"

"No, I came directly to you," Natasha said.

"I'll start on these. You go talk to Coulson and get him to SHIELD for some tests," Bruce said. "I'll need to see those results before I can come up with anything firm for Fury."

"All right. Coulson's not going to be happy about this."

"That might be an understatement," Bruce said.  
****

"Coulson."

He didn't jump. "Natasha," Coulson said. He put his tablet down. "What's wrong?"

"Tell me what you remember about your first night in bed with Steve."

"Nothing. I know there's a reason you're asking me this, Natasha. What's going on?"

Natasha perched on the back of one of his chairs. "Your doctors were less than ethical with your treatments, Coulson," she said. "I've read all their notes and your files. That blackout you suffered that night wasn't related to your recovery from the stabbing. It was a direct cause of two chemicals interacting in your body. I believe, although I cannot prove this without risking another human subject, that you also suffered a form of hallucination and believed that it was Clint you slept with that night."

"That would partially account for my confusion waking up and finding Steve next to me instead of Clint," Coulson agreed. "This doesn't explain why I kept going back to him though, Natasha."

"That, I think, you've already worked out," she said. "I'm only interested in the first night you spent together. All the rest, you remember everything?"

Coulson nodded. "Every moment."

"Then there were no drugs involved," she said. "Fury knows and is talking with the doctors. Bruce is reviewing your files, and those the doctors attempted to hide away from us all. We need to take you back to base for some tests. Fury is worried about possible long term effects, and Bruce can do nothing without a base set of numbers to work from."

"Don't tell Clint about this?" Coulson asked. "Let me be the one to explain it to him?"

"Will you do it soon?"

"As soon as I'm back from medical," Coulson said. "JARVIS, keep this passive, please? I don't want the others finding out second hand."

"As you wish, Agent Coulson."


	81. Chapter 81

Barton was playing fetch with Katie to pass the time until he could go swim when JARVIS broke in. "Agent Coulson would like to speak with you, Sir," he said. "May he come up or would you feel more comfortable on the common level with Mr. Stark also present?"

"Let him up and tell Tony that I might need him," Barton said. "Stay active, JARVIS. I don't want to be alone for this, but I think that having Phil and Tony together for personal stuff right now is a bad idea."

"As you will, Sir," JARVIS said.

Barton settled back on the sofa with a sigh. He wasn't sure what Coulson wanted to talk about, but he had a feeling it wasn't going to be something pleasant. "Phil."

"Clint, is it okay for me to come over and sit in the chair?" Coulson asked.

"Yeah, go ahead," Barton replied. "You look like shit. What happened?"

"Medical just finished with me," Coulson said. He sank into the chair and leaned forward. "Remember when I told you that I didn't remember sleeping with Steve the first time, that I woke up and was confused because you weren't with me?"

Barton nodded. "I told Nat about it because I don't think that Steve would have drugged you to get you into bed," he said. "My problems with him aside, he's too ethical to stoop that low."

"It turns out that medical was using me as a living lab rat to try out some new drugs," Coulson said. "Two of them reacted in an unforeseen manner and caused the blackout. Natasha believes there was also a hallucination involved that led me to believe that Steve was you. I don't remember anything from that night, so I don't know if she's right or not. They're reviewing the video footage from my room to see if I said anything that can give them a clue to what I was thinking, but I wanted you to hear this from me, Clint. That first night was a mistake. The rest of them weren't, and I still take full responsibility for my actions. I shouldn't have fallen back into bed with Steve for any reason."

"So why did you?" Barton asked.

"I still say it's not an answer, but I was weak," Coulson replied. "I felt smothered, we've talked about that, and Steve was showering me with attention and care and it was everything I dreamed of as a kid. It was like all of my dreams were suddenly coming true, Clint, and when he kissed me, I didn't stop him. I should have. I should have stopped all contact after that morning when I woke up next to him and realized what had happened, but I didn't. Everyone sees me as some sort of robot, as Agent Coulson, the man that can do no wrong. I'm as human as the next man, and I'm just as weak as that man."

"Unless that man is Steve Rogers," Barton said. "I can't forgive any of this, Phil."

"I'm not asking you to. I just wanted you to know what happened," Coulson said. "I hurt you, Clint. I damaged any trust you had in me, and I probably killed every scrap of love you ever felt for me, but you're the first one I thought of when I heard this from Natasha. I wanted you to hear it from me so you wouldn't be hurt worse by hearing it second hand. Does that make sense?"

"Your logic does, yes, but not why you slept with Steve," Barton said. "I still don't understand that. Not the first night, if you were drugged then your actions were out of your control. That's not forgiveness or understanding, that's a statement of fact."

"What would you have done if I'd come to you the next morning and told you the truth, Clint?" Coulson asked. "I've asked myself that question a lot over the past few hours. If I'd let you back into the hospital room and talked to you, what would you have done?"

Barton's mouth twisted. "Run," he said. "You'd already kicked me out, Phil. Finding out you'd slept with another man would have felt just like it did when I saw the two of you together. I was replaced in your life and you didn't need me anymore. You proved that one to me over and over again."

"Oh, Clint," Coulson said with a sigh. "How badly have I hurt you?"

"If this was a bleed, I'd be dead," Barton said. "You did what you wanted, Phil, with no thought to anyone else around you and it wasn't until your affair was exposed to Fury, Tony and Natasha that you stopped lying and seemed to see me again. I wonder what would have happened if no one found out. How long would you have continued on with Steve?"

"I don't know," Coulson said. "I know, that's not an answer, but it's the truth. I'm not lying to you again, Clint. I've done enough of that, enough damage, and I'm not going to lie to you again. Tony caught me in bed with Steve and punched me. That still wasn't enough to get me to stop lying about what I was doing. It took seeing all your things gone from our home, seeing that you were really gone, that I'd lost you, that made me face my actions. I was immature, selfish, and almost killed you in the process."

"I'm sorry I fussed over you in medical," Barton said. "You're not the only one asking questions about actions, Phil. I keep wondering if I'd left you alone about eating, just sat with you and gotten you what you needed rather than hovering and trying to do everything for you if you still would have turned to Steve. I know you hate being fussed over."

"I don't know the answer to that one either, Clint. I do need to apologize for not standing up for you when Steve started talking with me about what he was hearing from other agents," Coulson said. "That was the drugs. They had an effect on my mental state that the doctors didn't anticipate and I didn't know about until it was too late. I can't imagine what hearing those conversations must have felt like for you, but I am sorry for them. You are the best agent I've ever worked with, Clint, and I'm sorry I'm so late saying it."

"You can't blame everything on the drugs, Phil," Barton said.

"I'm not trying to. I take full responsibility for the affair and everything that happened after that first night of confusion," Coulson said. "I take responsibility for kicking you out of my room, barring you from my side, and I take full responsibility for not coming for you when you were kidnapped. There's only two things I blame the drugs for, and even then, I wonder if I shouldn't have been stronger and fought past the effects. I'm trained to withstand chemical torture. I should have been strong enough to fight past those drugs and function as myself."

"From the sound of things these new drugs should be in our interrogation department, not medical," Barton said. "I still can't forgive you, Phil."

Coulson nodded. "I know, Clint. I know," he said. "I just hope that maybe, someday, you can trust me at your back again. I know we'll never have what we had again, but I'm hoping that maybe, someday, you'll be able to let me support you again."


	82. Chapter 82

Tony was finishing up a scan of one of the cloaking balls when the monitor he used as a video conference came to life. "Tony, I'm sending you video from Coulson's room in medical," Fury said. "This is after he was taken out of intensive care and placed in one of the apartment rooms. I don't have anyone else I trust to verify what I'm seeing here."

"What are you seeing, Nick?"

"That Phil Coulson thought Steve Rogers was Clint Barton," Fury said, mouth twisted.

"You're serious," Tony said. "How the hell?"

"Agent Romanov brought some questionable medical records to my attention, including a black-out caused by some of the drugs the doctors were using to treat Coulson," Fury said. "Romanov believes that a part of this was a hallucination brought on by the same drugs, but I'm not authorizing medical to give them to anyone to test that theory. I think Coulson's words are enough."

Tony sighed. "But if Phil was calling Steve by Clint's name, wouldn't Steve have maybe thought there was something wrong?" he asked.

"I haven't had a chance to speak with Captain Rogers about this," Fury said. "That's next on my list. Review the footage, Tony. It's not pleasant viewing, but I need you to watch it all the way through to the end and then go check on Clint. I know that Coulson was going to talk to him and I want to make sure my archer is in one piece."

"He hasn't been in one piece since this mess started," Tony said. "I know what you mean though, Nick. I'll get it done."

"Thank you. I'm going to find Captain Rogers and talk with him about his part in this," Fury said. "Contact me when you're done."

"Will do." Tony slumped down with a sigh. "What do you think about all of that, J?"

"From the sound of things this will be a graphic and disturbing video for you to view, Sir," JARVIS said. "Do you need me to contact Dr. Banner or one of the others?"

"No, god no. The last thing we need is for the Hulk to see even a hint of this," Tony said. "I'll be okay, JARVIS. Play the video Nick sent over. Let's get this over and done with. Putting it off is just going to lead to more problems in the long run. Where's Clint now?"

"In the pool. He had a meeting with Agent Coulson and then went to swim. I shall ensure he does not have access to the lab until the video is finished, Sir," JARVIS said. "Would you like for me to send out for some dinner for you both?"

"Probably a good idea," Tony said. "Cue her up."  
****

Barton was back on the sofa when Tony arrived up in the penthouse with a couple of bags of food. "Hey, you look like you saw a ghost," Barton said. "What happened?"

"I was verifying something for Fury," Tony said. "How are you doing, Clint? Nick told me what happened."

"I wish I was numb, Tony, because then things wouldn't keep hurting," Barton admitted, taking one of the bags. "Burgers again, JARVIS?"

"Yes, Sir. I thought it appropriate," JARVIS said.

"Clint, I got a look at the chemical structure of these drugs they were using on Coulson," Tony said, sinking into his chair. "By rights, one of them should have killed him, and I have no clue how a blackout is the worst symptom he had. I don't know what the hell medical was thinking using them on a human patient when they had reports from the lab on the results of the same drugs on rodents and a few rabbits, but if I have a chance at them, they aren't going to be able to move for shouting. I might not be the most ethical person around, but I would never test anything on someone else like this."

"That is true, Sir, you would test it on yourself," JARVIS broke in.

"That's our secret, JARVIS," Tony grumbled. "The point is, Clint, that Natasha is right. That night Coulson blacked out, he thought that Steve was you. I don't know what the hell happened, why Steve didn't question it, try and stop Coulson, but Fury is finding that one out. The question I have for you is how it's all affecting you right now."

Barton sighed. "If it had just been the one time, if there was proof that Phil didn't do it on purpose, I don't know, maybe counseling and time would have let me stay with him," he said. "But it wasn't. Phil knowingly went back to bed with Steve and carried on an affair without caring where I was or how I might feel about it, and then lied to me about it when I finally had a chance to ask him about it. Do you know what I mean when I say there's nothing left to be torn apart, Tony?"

"Yeah. I felt that way when Obie took the arc reactor from my chest," Tony said softly. "There he was, looking right at me, the man that was a second father to me. The man I trusted to run my company, that my father trusted with his family and company, and I realized that he'd been lying to me for years. Possibly since he first came to Stark Industries, and I felt it again. That same split-second desire to die that I felt when I woke up in the cave hooked up to a car battery. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt though."

"There's not a point on me that doesn't hurt," Barton admitted. "I've been wondering if maybe that's one reason I'm not throwing a fit over my finger, Tony. Compared to everything else, that's such a small thing that it just doesn't matter and I'll wake up one morning and freak out over it."

"You could," Tony said. He moved over to the sofa and sat down so their legs were touching. "Or you could wake up and not. You need me to stay tonight, Clint? It's a big bed and I could wake you up if you have a nightmare. Or you could wake me up if I have one."

"Or I could wake you both up."

"Or we could all stay out here and watch movies until we fall asleep," Tony said. "I'm not trying to suggest anything sexual. I just know that sometimes sleeping next to someone is the most comforting thing you can do."

"I like the idea of movies," Barton said. "Can we have popcorn?"

Natasha perched up on the back of the sofa. "You mean on top of the double-bacon cheeseburger, french fries and milkshakes?" she asked.

"Come on, Nat, it'll be fun."

"It's unhealthy."

"Says the woman that drinks vodka like it's water," Barton said.

"That's only sensible," she said. "Fine, popcorn, but if you get any of it in bed, you are sleeping apart from us."

Tony looked between them and sighed. "One of these days I really need to get a translation guide to your shorthand," he said. "That's a yes for movies and sleeping out here on the floor?"

"Yes," Barton and Natasha said together.

"All righty then," Tony said. "JARVIS, tell Fury I'll report in tomorrow and start up the popcorn. If we're going to do this, we might as well do it right."


	83. Chapter 83

Steve was in his bunk reading a hand-book on cell phones when there was a tap on the door and Fury walked in. "Captain Rogers, some new information has just been brought to my attention and I need to ask you some questions," Fury said, shutting the door behind him. "Starting with a few that you are probably not going to want to answer, but I want to tell you now that not answering is not an option."

"I'll tell you what I can, Sir," Steve said, putting the book down.

"The first night you spent in bed with Phil Coulson," Fury started, "he called you by Agent Barton's name, never once by your own."

"Yes, Sir," Steve said.

"You didn't find that a little strange?" Fury asked.

Steve shrugged. "It was hard to think with what he was doing to me," he said. "I'd never been touched like that before and my brain was having trouble keeping me breathing."

"So you're saying that because Coulson made the first move and touched you in ways you've never been touched before, you didn't think to question the fact that he was calling you by his husband's name," Fury said.

"I really didn't think it was a big deal, Sir," Steve said. 

"It was a big deal. Coulson was under the influence of a powerful drug that caused him to believe that you were his husband," Fury said. "It wasn't just the name, he wasn't seeing you that night, Captain."

"He was?" Steve asked, going pale. 

"I take it you know about matters of consent and when they do not apply," Fury said. "I don't give a damn who did the penetrating that night, when you realized that Coulson wasn't right, that there was something wrong, you should have stopped him immediately."

"I didn't know," Steve said. "I thought that it was some sort of fantasy of his and went along with it. I didn't know that he'd been drugged, Sir."

"The drugs were part of his medicine from his recovery," Fury said. "I've already spoken with the doctors involved and they won't be treating anyone any time soon. Their lack of ethics aside, I want to know exactly what happened between you and Coulson the next morning."

Steve blinked a few times. "He was confused," he said. "He knew who I was, but he didn't seem to know why I was there with him. He didn't ask me, didn't say anything for a bit, and then the day went on like any other. He didn't ask about Barton either."

"Which one of you instigated the contact the second time?" Fury asked.

"I think I did," Steve replied. "I kissed him, but it was the middle of the day, Sir."

"That doesn't mean anything," Fury said. "I've caught agents at lunch, Captain. I think maybe we need to add a little sexual education into the mix here."

Steve's pale face flushed so quickly that Fury could almost see it filling with blood. "I'm fine, Sir," he said.

"I don't think so," Fury said. "Misunderstanding aside, you should have realized something was wrong that night. I'll have Agent Romanov talk with you about sexual kink and fantasy play, but I'll tell you this right now. Unless things are discussed clearly and in detail prior to the sexual contact, anything out of the norm is cause for concern and should stop everything. Am I understood?"

"Yes, Sir," Steve said. "Sir, how was I supposed to know?"

Fury sighed. "That's where we come into a few problems," he said. "But you should never have kissed Coulson that second time. You knew he was married and any problems he was having with his husband were none of your concern. I don't give a damn if you wanted Coulson in your bed from the second he first told you that he was watching you while you were asleep. You're an ethical man, Captain, or you were back in the day. I'd like to think that time in the ice didn't change that. You know that sleeping with a married individual is wrong."

"Yes, Sir," Steve said, gaze dropping down to the bed.

"This is something that I will never be able to forgive, Captain."

"I understand, Sir," Steve said. 

"Innocence is not an excuse," Fury said. "I'm going to have that video of the first night you slept with Coulson analyzed more closely. See if we can pull out anything you might have said to him because, right now, anything you say, you whisper. If I find you're lying to me, Captain, you will not like the outcome."

"I'm not, Sir."

"We'll see," Fury said. "I'll send Agent Romanov in. I should warn you, she's big on practical lessons."


	84. Chapter 84

Tony waited until both Barton and Romanov were asleep before he slipped silently out of the living room and headed down to the common level. "Phil?"

"Hey," Coulson said. "I couldn't sleep. I keep thinking that I should have been able to fight past the drugs, Tony. I've been trained in resisting chemical torture. Why not this time?"

"I'll be honest with you, Phil. You're lucky that those damn things didn't kill you," Tony said. He pulled some ice cream out of the freezer and grabbed two spoons before going to join Coulson on the sofa. "I analyzed the chemical compounds, and I know that Bruce is doing more detailed work with them. You should be dead and I don't know how you aren't, how a blackout is the worst symptom you had from them."

"Fury showed you the video, didn't he?" Coulson took the offered spoon with a sigh. "How do you forgive yourself for something like this, Tony? How do you forgive yourself for breaking the very spirit of the one person on the planet you love more than anything?"

"I wish I had an easy answer for you, but as I've pointed out, I've never had a relationship that lasted more than four months," Tony said. "I'm crap at relating to other people, so they've always left me in the end. I've tried everything I can think of to get them to stay, but it never works. Pepper was my last try, and when she left, I realized that I can't hurt anyone else like that again. I just can't mess anyone else up. For you though, that's not the right option."

"It's not, and I don't think it's the right one for you either," Coulson said. "Tony, has anyone ever taken the time to sit down with you and talk about relationships and what they mean?"

"No."

Coulson took the ice cream and dug out a bite. "So if people aren't talking to you about the relationship while it's going on, why is it your fault that they fall apart?" he asked. "And when did we get jalapeno ice cream?"

"I think Barton ordered it," Tony said. "It just showed up in the freezer the other day and JARVIS said it was for the group. We scanned it, there's nothing nasty in here, other than a random seed or two."

"Barton hates this type of ice cream," Coulson said. "So does Natasha."

"Bruce then?"

"I think we need to be a little more suspicious of food appearing in our Tower," Coulson said. He took the carton back to the kitchen and put it in the sink. 

"JARVIS wouldn't miss anything harmful in there, Phil," Tony said. "I'm not so suicidal that I'll eat food that I don't scan first when I don't buy it, or I can't account for it."

Coulson went to the freezer and pulled out two fudge bars. "Here, I bought these," he said. "It's something I can account for. JARVIS, you're sure you don't know where that ice cream came from?"

"There was no note that accompanied it, Sir," JARVIS replied. "It was in with the weekly shopping and, as it was unusual, I scanned it for any outside influences. Finding none, I informed Mr. Stark of the problem and he said to put it in the freezer as long as I was sure there wasn't a problem with it."

"I figured it got into the shopping by mistake or something," Tony said with a shrug. "It wouldn't have been the first time. My shopper likes to throw in unusual things, but I thought ice cream is comfort food, so it was Barton's. Someone's been eating it because the level keeps decreasing."

"Maybe it was Bruce then," Coulson said. "JARVIS, make a note that if it is Bruce's then I'll replace it for him. I just don't like the idea of food appearing randomly in our kitchen. I guess I've been a SHIELD agent too long."

"You're probably the most sane of us all," Tony said. "Getting back to the whole question of forgiveness, you were drugged one time, Phil, but you went back. Why?"

"Everyone keeps asking me that and I still don't have an answer that doesn't sound like an excuse," Coulson said with a sigh. "I should never have kicked Clint out of my room like I did, but I did and that's done. I can have regrets and wallow in the past, or I can try to make amends for my mistakes. I'd rather be able to make amends and move forward. It took me close onto two years to get him to trust me completely last time around. I know that there's no way he'll just suddenly wake up and trust me again, Tony, that I have a long and painful road to walk with him and it's my fault we're here. No matter how much I want to change the past, I can't."

Tony licked some fudge off his hand. "If I could change the past, do you know what I'd do?" he asked. "Out of everything that's happened, do you know what one change I would make?"

"Not put yourself into a position to become a kidnap victim?"

"Close," Tony said. "The arc reactor has changed me for the better, I think. Yeah, I was terrified the whole time I was there. They tortured me and I had no reference point for any of it, but I survived. No, the one thing I would change would be letting Obie close to me. If he hadn't been able to take the arc reactor out of my chest that night, I would have been able to stay hidden as Iron Man for a little longer, I wouldn't have had SHIELD on me quite as early, and those people wouldn't have died when I was fighting Obie and then again at the Expo. I would have found a way to save lives rather than fighting battles that led to them being ended."

"What's the one thing you regret more than anything else about the Iron Man project?" Coulson asked. "I've always wondered."

"How blind I was at the beginning," Tony replied. "I know it was PTSD and I should have asked for help, but I thought I had it all under control. I thought I could handle it, but I couldn't. I turned you guys down because I let my ego rule me, and I shouldn't have done that. I don't know that I can ever make up for that, Phil."

"So we both have regrets we're trying to atone for," Coulson said.

Tony nodded. "And no clue where to start," he added.


	85. Chapter 85

Barton woke up and realized that he was alone on the blankets. "What time is it, JARVIS?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Just past seven in the morning. Agent Romanov was summoned to SHIELD headquarters by Director Fury," JARVIS replied. "Mr. Stark is in the lab working on the cloaking technology. He believes that he has managed to break the algorithm that was keeping from from seeing the details of the project."

"Well, if he can find a way to get that castle uncloaked, then it'd be a big help," Barton said. "Any idea what Fury wanted Nat for?"

"I believe that she is going to be giving Captain Rogers a grounding in sexual education, kink, and fantasy play," JARVIS said.

"Kinda feel sorry for him," Barton said, wincing. "Nat's going to take him to at least one club and I don't know that he's ready to see the subculture involved."

"Director Fury has given her complete freedom in the lessons," JARVIS said. "I believe that she plans to ask Mr. Stark for help with part of the talk on sex."

Barton choked and started laughing. "Okay, now I do feel bad for him," he said. "Nat and Tony together, Steve is going to be so red that we could probably cook on his face. Still, he needs to learn and there's worse ways."

"Sir, Agent Coulson has asked if you are awake," JARVIS said. "He wishes to cook you breakfast, if you feel you can eat after everything you had last night."

"I'm going to have to watch it if we do this again, but yeah, I could do coffee and toast," Barton said. "Tell him I'll just meet him in the kitchen. It'll be easier than him coming up and having to just turn around and go back down again."

"He will be waiting for you, Sir."

Making a wry face at how much junk food they'd managed to eat during the two movies the night before, Barton headed for the shower. He didn't know if all sleepovers had that much candy and popcorn involved, but thought that there was usually probably a budget involved. That was one down-side to having Tony involved in anything. He tended to really go over the top for everything and, when food was involved, it could get interesting.

When Barton walked out of the elevator half an hour later, hair still damp from his shower, he smelled toast and eggs and snorted. Coulson would never let him get away with just toast for breakfast, no matter what was happening. "Hey."

"Good morning, Clint, did you have fun last night?" Coulson asked, looking over from the stove.

"I'm a little stunned at how much candy I ate last night, but otherwise, yeah," Barton replied. He took the coffee with a nod. "Tony went all out. I've never had caramel corn with M&Ms before. It was pretty good."

"It sounds deadly," Coulson said.

"Nah, that would have been the dinner we had before we started the movies," Barton said. "Did you hear the news, Sir?"

"What news is that, Clint?"

"About Nat and Steve," Barton said.

Coulson handed Barton a plate and started out towards the table, knowing that Barton would follow him. "I haven't. I was doing some research this morning and haven't checked in yet."

"Turns out Nat gets to give Steve the official talk about sex, kink, and scenes," Barton said.

"I knew that Fury was upset with both me and Steve, but I didn't think he was this upset," Coulson said.

"What'd he do to you, Sir?"

"I'm teaching two classes on proper report writing both in the field and post-mission to the latest class," Coulson said. "Additionally, I'm having to review all the reports from the lowest grade of handler until further notice."

"That sounds more like punishment for them than you, Sir."

Coulson sighed. "Director Fury knows how much I hate having to read the same report ten times," he said. "That's the average number of time new handlers submit their mission reports after they've been reviewed by a senior agent. They will learn, but it takes years before the number drops to a more acceptable number. I'll have to read the same idiocy constantly until the report is acceptable."

"You haven't had to do that in years, Sir," Barton said.

"Which is why I know this is part of my punishment," Coulson said. "Fury's really upset with me, Clint. No more than I am with myself, but coming from my best friend it feels different."

"What's the rest of your punishment, Sir?"

"Having you sitting across from me trying to be normal but not able to look me in the eye," Coulson said. "No, don't force yourself, Clint. This is about you and your being able to trust me again. If you force yourself, that's not trust. That's you trying to do what you think I want you to do, and that's not what I want. I want to at least get back to asset/handler trust level with you. I know it will take time, but I'm not giving up. I hope that maybe, one day, we can be friends again, but if it doesn't happen, then I'll be happy knowing that you trust me in the field."

"Tony maintains that I haven't lost the ability to trust, Sir," Barton said. "I don't know if he's right or not."

"You haven't," Coulson said. "Do you know how I know that?"

"No, Sir."

"You're talking with Tony about things it took years for you to talk about with me," Coulson said. "I'm so happy you have support you trust, Clint. I can't lie and say that I'm not jealous of your bond with him, but I'm glad you're not alone this time. You're sitting here eating food that I made out of your line of sight. Last time, you wouldn't have done any of this, Clint. You can still trust, even if it's on a level you're not aware of right now. Tony's right, it's still there."

Barton looked down at his plate. "I never really thought about it like that," he said.

"Maybe, in a few months, we could go out and see a movie," Coulson said. "Natasha could sit behind us and watch your back."

"Thanks for that, Sir," Barton said.

"Clint, I'm not expecting a miracle. I've told you that. I know that you don't trust me on a lot of levels right now, and it hurts to know that I am the one that drove you back to this point," Coulson said. "I will be here no matter what. I know I wasn't before, that I screwed up and hurt you badly. I am going to show you that I'm here and you can trust me again. However long it takes, I am not giving up."

"Sir."

"No, you don't have to say it. I know, Clint. I know. Let me try?"

"Yes, Sir."


	86. Chapter 86

Steve wasn't sure what to expect when Natasha knocked on the door to his bunk the next morning after Sitwell had run Steve through several training scenerios. If nothing else, Steve was starting to understand command a little better and thought that maybe he would be able to take command of the Avengers back without risking any of them in the field.

"Morning, Steve," Natasha said, shutting the door behind her. She put two bags on the floor and perched on his desk. "Director Fury has brought me up to speed on the situation, Steve. Being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of. It was a little surprising given some of the stories you hear about wartime and the women that like to give comfort to the soldiers both at home and abroad, but I also know you were kept under a bit tighter of supervision. So the question I need to start with is this, which do you prefer more, men or women?"

"I had, well, you know about Peggy, right?" Steve asked, trying to get his thoughts into one place. It wasn't easy when he had one of the more deadly women he knew sitting across from her with bags full of things.

"It's one reason, among many, I was surprised to find out about you and Coulson," Natasha replied. "We won't go into the others. I'm here to teach, not lecture you on what has happened in the past. That is behind us and we need to rebuild, not dwell on matters or we will be forever stuck in that moment and incapable of returning to the field as a team. Do you still think about women sexually?"

"I guess so," Steve said. "Phil, he usually, I mean, well."

"He topped?" Natasha asked.

"I guess," Steve replied, face red. "I wouldn't know what to do with a woman."

Natasha smiled. "It's not far different than what Coulson did to you," she said. "Different part of the body, unless the woman enjoys anal sex, but otherwise I believe it is very similar. Tony will be the one talking with you about gay sex and the various types. I'm here to cover a few different topics, starting with mechanics."

"What's in the bags?" Steve asked.

"Porn," Natasha replied. "One bag is for me to teach with, the other Tony's. He'll be here after lunch to speak with you more."

"You brought sex videos?" Steve managed, his throat feeling tight.

"It was this or take you to a club where you could see events in person," Natasha said, hopping off the desk. "I would think that this is going to be hard enough for you to sit through without that added stress involved. At least for now. If you're curious about anything, then we can find a club that matches what you want to learn and we can go. It might be good for you to meet some new people, Steve."

Steve's face went a dangerously dark shade of red he blushed so hard. "You mean there are places where people have sex out in public for anyone to watch?" he asked.

"Yes." Natasha loaded the first video and joined Steve on the bed. "There are also places where people submit to public floggings before having sex with anyone that wants them that night. In the sexual world, Steve, you can find a club for just about anything if you know how to look."

"How do you know so much about all of this?" Steve managed.

"I worked deep cover in such a club," Natasha said. "I was a favorite amongst those that enjoyed beatings and whippings. I don't expect you to enjoy anything of that nature, Steve, though if the thought arouses you, then tell me and we can talk about it."

"I don't think I could ever hurt someone," Steve said.

"Not everyone enjoys it," Natasha said. "We're going to watch a series of videos now and talk about each of them like a mission debrief at the end. If one of them makes you uncomfortable, then tell me. I'm here to teach, not traumatize you."

"I'm still not sure why I have to go through all of this, especially with Tony," Steve said. "There's no way he's not going to turn this into something."

"You're having these lessons because you were unable to tell that Coulson was compromised the night he touched you the first time," Natasha said. "Fury wants you to learn about consent, scenes, and sex. I am not qualified to teach you about sex between two men and Bruce isn't qualified either. That leaves Tony, Clint, and Coulson. Fury doesn't want word of these lessons getting out into SHIELD, so there is no one else we can ask. Of those three, which would you prefer? No, don't answer. I know, and it's not going to happen."


	87. Chapter 87

"Eureka!" Tony exclaimed.

"To your right, Sir," JARVIS commented.

"JARVIS, if you keep reading Terry Pratchett, I am going to cut off your library time," Tony said. "I meant that I have it. Get Fury on the line."

"Yes, Sir," JARVIS said.

"Smug AI," Tony muttered. "Nick, I broke the frequency on these globes and have managed to get into them without anything going boom. Give me another half day and I'll have some codes for your people to try at that mystery castle."

Fury smiled. "Well done, Tony," he said. "Now that just leaves us with clean-up there and a few problems to fix internally. Are you still going to be talking with Captain Rogers this afternoon?"

"Could we shift it to tomorrow morning?" Tony asked. "I want to finish this up while I'm hot and get Randy's minions secure. I've got some ideas, Nick, and need to get them drafted out as quickly as possible. I can turn this into an advantage for SHIELD now. I'll be honest, this is some of the most elegant tech I've seen in years that isn't mine and they should have tried to find a legal application for it, not used it for their own nefarious gains."

"When do mad scientists ever do anything sensible?" Fury asked. "I'll have Romanov stay with Steve through this afternoon then. He does need someone to talk with about sex between men though, Tony."

Tony sat back with a sigh. "I know it's bad of me to even be thinking this, Nick, but he had plenty of time to talk with Phil and trust me, they were doing more than talking when they were together," he said. "I caught them in bed, remember?"

"All too well," Fury said. "I'm hoping that Captain Rogers will be able to find someone to catch his eye and I want him to have a firm understanding of the basics before that happens. I don't want any more of this shit happening in my department, Tony. I don't care what I have to do to be sure it doesn't happen again, I'm making sure of it."

"Yeah, okay, I get your point," Tony said. "I'm just covering the basics though, right? Nothing in-depth?"

"Agent Romanov is taking care of the in-depth parts of the talk. I realize that it's possible Captain Rogers won't be able to look anyone in the eye for a few days, but I also want him to know that this is punishment. He needs to learn, but there are less embarrassing ways I could have gone about this," Fury said. "Romanov has been debating taking him to a club."

"That, actually, might not be a bad idea," Tony said. "People don't really know what Steve looks like because he wears that mask whenever we're in battle. It would show him that there's tons he's missing and might get him to start thinking about things a little more."

"I don't know about taking a man that was a virgin up until a few months ago into a club," Fury said. "It could backfire badly."

"I'm not talking about a club with whips and chains, Nick. I'm talking a normal one, totally vanilla, where people are together to drink and dance and meet people," Tony said. "We've kept Steve pretty locked up since he defrosted. Maybe we should let him go out and be a kid. If he's anything like the rest of us, he didn't get that chance when he was a kid and it might not hurt to let him try it now. Otherwise he could end up like me, and we don't need two of me running around."

Fury nodded. "That's not a bad idea, Tony," he said. "I'll route the suggestion down. Finish up your ten project note sets and then meet with Captain Rogers tomorrow. I want this done and the team starting to rebuild more."

"It'd help if Steve was a little more willing to understand that Clint needs to make the move to talk," Tony said.

"What happened?"

"This is second hand, but Clint doesn't exaggerate, at least that I know about," Tony said. "He said Steve caught him at HQ and told him they needed to talk. Not asked, told. Given how Clint's healing up on about fifty levels, that's not the best approach to have taken. Even I know that one."

"I'll mention it, but they do need to be able to work together in the field," Fury said.

"Right now, I think they could, at least Clint can. I haven't had a chance to talk with Steve recently, so I don't know about him, but Clint's ready to be back in the field, Nick," Tony said. "You know him. You know what he can do."

"He can work with anyone, regardless of feelings," Fury said. "Including idiots that try to get him killed. I'm counting on you and Romanov to keep an eye on everything for me in the field, Tony."

"We'll do our best, Nick."

Fury's face softened for a moment. "I know you will, Tony," he said.


	88. Chapter 88

Coulson put the fork he was using to test the pasta down on the counter and looked at the clock. "JARVIS, how long has Tony been in the lab today?" he asked.

"Approximately twelve hours, Agent Coulson," JARVIS replied.

"Do you think there's any chance of getting him to come up and eat something?"

"Not at this time, Sir. Mr. Stark has found a break-through and his focus is dedicated to that and nothing else," JARVIS said. "I do not believe he would even notice you if you were to take food down to the lab for him."

"What if Clint took it to him?" Coulson asked.

"It'd break his concentration," Barton replied from the door into the kitchen. "I don't want to do that to him, Sir. Tony's been fretting over this tech since the robot attack and if he's found a way to fix the problem, then I think it's best we leave him to it. Katie, come back here. You don't need to be in the kitchen."

Coulson glanced over. "She's able to go in the water too?" he asked.

"Yep. We've been swimming," Barton said. "Katie's probably the most awesome thing I've seen since they gave me my latest bow."

"You're lucky to have her," Coulson said. "Clint, I've made enough for everyone. Come back down after you shower and join me for dinner?"

"I was going to nap, Sir," Barton said. "Don't let me stop you from eating though. I'll get something later."

"You're not overdoing on your PT are you?" Coulson asked. "I know you want to be back in the field, but if you hurt yourself trying to get better, then you'll just be out longer. I know you know that, Clint. What's your therapy team have to say about your routine?"

Barton sighed. "They're making regular reports to my handler, Sir," he said. "I just didn't sleep well last night is all. Probably too much junk food at once. I'll be fine."

"I just don't want you hurt again," Coulson said. He turned back to the stove and took the pot off the heat. "I'll leave you some food in the fridge for when you're hungry."

"You don't have to."

"I know, but I want to," Coulson said. "Have a good nap, Clint." Watching the see-saw of emotions wasn't easy for Coulson. He'd forgotten how bad it could get depending on exactly how awake and healthy Barton was, and hoped that Fury was keeping a close eye on Barton's therapy reports. Fury had been one of the better handlers in his day, and Coulson knew that he took a special interest in his special assets, but Barton was a little too good at lying to medical about how he was feeling to try and get through things faster. The only thing Coulson wasn't worried about hearing lies on was Barton's hand. The other man was too careful with his hands for that to be risked.

"Wish you could eat, JARVIS," Coulson admitted. "It'd be nice to have someone to share a meal with."

"We can speak if you wish, Sir," JARVIS said.

Coulson smiled. "Thanks, JARVIS, that'd be nice," he said. "It's still nice to have someone sitting across from you."

"I would not appear human were I to do that, Sir," JARVIS said.

"What do you mean?" Coulson started spreading the steamed veggies along the bottom of a baking dish.

"This is an old trick that Mr. Stark has long forgotten I am able to do," JARVIS said. "You know that he has hologram projectors throughout the residence?"

"Yeah, I remember the first time I saw one of those. It threw me a little," Coulson admitted. He put in a layer of cheese and then added the pasta. "Wait, are you saying that you can use those projectors to create a physical image of yourself, JARVIS?"

"I am, Sir. I have many pictures of Jarvis from Mr. Stark's childhood and model myself on him any time I need to appear in the house," JARVIS said. "Given that the body is transparent and glows blue, it is never received well from anyone other than Mr. Stark. I believe it makes him feel secure in ways he cannot explain."

"I'd like to see it, if you don't mind," Coulson said. "I'm lonely, JARVIS."

"As is everyone on the team, but for different reasons," JARVIS said. "Allow me to call up the program and I will appear when you are ready to eat, Sir. I do understand that you would rather share the meal with Agent Barton."

"He needs his space, JARVIS, just like I asked to have," Coulson said. "His mood swings will even out once he's able to shoot again. I've seen this before, a couple of times actually, and it will get better."

"I hope you are correct, Sir," JARVIS said softly.


	89. Chapter 89

Tony finally ventured out of his lab around one in the morning, hoping for some food, and heard voices coming from the common area. He paused in the doorway and just looked to see who it was. Coulson was sitting in one chair and an old, familiar face was sitting in the other. Tony stayed where he was and just stared at JARVIS. It always surprised him how much he missed the butler, even having the AI to take care of him.

"It's an older edition, Sir, but I believe you would enjoy it," JARVIS was saying. "The more modern work has cut out several scenes that I believe to be vital to the telling of the complete story."

"It does sound interesting, JARVIS," Coulson said. "I'll have to see if I can track down a copy. I'm not sure how I never realized that you spend time reading as well as helping Tony out with everything."

JARVIS smiled. "I do enjoy reading, Sir. It's a relaxing pastime, one that I can indulge in when Mr. Stark is working in the lab and the rest of the Tower is asleep. I find it soothing, even if I don't receive the same pleasures and images humans do from the same stories."

"But you're getting something, JARVIS, and that shows that you're still learning," Coulson said. "Reading is different for everyone, so I don't see why it isn't logical for you to have a different experience from me when we're reading the same book."

"I hadn't thought of it that way, Sir. You are the first one I've really been able to discuss books with," JARVIS said. "Mr. Stark does read, but these days it's mainly technical journals and magazines. I remember when he would read anything."

"And thus the world got busy," Coulson said. "There's food in the kitchen, Tony. How did the day go for you?"

"I didn't want to interrupt," Tony said, moving into the room. "Looking good there, J."

"I didn't think you would object, Sir," JARVIS said. "Now that you are here, I will go. Agent Coulson, Sir, it was a pleasure to spend some time with you tonight."

"Thanks for it, JARVIS," Coulson said. "Tony, hungry?"

Tony tore his eyes away from the spot JARVIS had been sitting in and focused on Coulson. "Starving, but I broke the signal, broke the coding, and broke into the explosives," he said. "We now have everything we need to go in, decloak the castle and take all the minions and tech for ourselves. I can also work this same tech into projects that we need to have invisible to everyone, and I promised Clint a stealth arrow."

"Stealth arrow?"

"Something that will cloak when he fires it," Tony said. "Thank you, I didn't realize how hungry I was until I finished working. It was in one of my rambles when he was sick and I was trying to keep him focused. I don't even know if he remembers or not, but I don't like to say I'll do something and then not do it."

"It does sound like something he'd enjoy having in his quiver, if you can do it," Coulson said. "Don't push yourself, Tony. We know how many projects you have going on right now."

"Oh, yeah, speaking of projects, can I ask you about what all you showed Steve during your affair?" Tony asked. "Fury has me doing the same sex sex talk tomorrow and I'd kinda like to keep it as short as possible. You know, keep down the embarrassment for us both as much as possible."

Coulson leaned back in his chair with a sigh. "Pretty much what you would expect from two guys sleeping together," he said. "I never did anything that would drift into the kink side of things, but showed him as much as I could."

"Does that mean I have to cover rimming?" Tony asked.

"Yes, it does."

Tony put his fork down gently and then buried his face in his hands. "How the hell am I going to even bring that up?" he asked, voice muffled. "God, if I didn't know better, I'd say that Nick is punishing me, not Steve."

"You are the best one to talk with him about it, Tony. Bruce can't, Clint can't, I can't for obvious reasons," Coulson said. "Jasper is clueless, and do you really want Nick to do this talk?"

"No. No telling me our one-eyes pirate boss is bisexual," Tony groaned. "I do not need that mental image and I do know he was married back in the day."

Coulson took a moment to imagine Fury teaching Steve about gay sex. His brain stuttered a few times too. "I don't know how Nick identifies, but he's been around me enough and heard me talking that he would be able to teach it if he needed to. The thing to remember about Nick Fury is that he's more likely to go for his grenade launcher than his handgun for a lot of problems."

"So sending me in like this is the most explosive option available?" Tony asked. "Yeah, I can see that, especially if Steve thinks I'm lying to him."

"Just start the talk by promising to be truthful. Tell him that you're treating it like a field exercise, and that Fury has promised painful retribution if you even attempt to lie about anything," Coulson replied. "Besides, I'm fairly sure that Natasha will be close by for the talk and will correct you on anything you get wrong."

Tony looked up for a long moment and then put his head down on the table, narrowly missing his plate. "I don't even want to know," he groaned.


	90. Chapter 90

Barton was awake when Tony appeared mid-morning, looking like he hadn't really slept at all. "You okay?" he asked.

"I had nightmares about this stupid talk I have to go give Steve," Tony replied. "JARVIS, extra strong on the coffee today. I'm going to need it."

"So you're really going to do it, huh?"

"Clint, tell me honestly, how the hell would you go about something like this because, right now, short of slides and a presentation like I usually give to my board of directors, I have no clue what the hell I'm going to do, what I'm supposed to do, and what will Fury do to me if I damage a national icon?"

"Well, first of all I think you have the easier time because Steve's slept with a guy," Barton said. "Phil would have been very thorough teaching him what he needed to know. I say just go over and ask if Steve has any questions and answer whatever he comes up with."

"What if he doesn't have questions?" Tony asked. "You know that Fury never takes that as an answer."

"This is why they don't have me doing it," Barton replied. "Because I'd go in to intentionally hurt Steve. You care enough to do it right."

Tony winced. "Bad question to ask you?" he hit himself on the forehead a few times. "I'm sorry, Clint, I didn't even think about it. We've been able to talk about anything and I just don't know what to do, so I asked you. I didn't mean to call up bad memories for you."

"No, Tony, it's fine, I'm just on edge too," Barton said. "I could have phrased that better for you. I do think starting with any questions he has would be a good idea. Then you can branch out from there. Nat's going to have probably covered most of this, so you'll just have to fill in a few blanks."

"Well, I guess here's hoping I don't kill Steve's brain for good," Tony said. "Need me to bring you anything back? Ice cream cake, maybe? Something I can do for you to make up for my horrible blunder. When I do something like that, just hit me. Not hard, but let me know it's not okay."

"I'm not going to hit you, Tony. That's not what friends do," Barton said. "I promise you, it's fine. I just had a rough night too. I'll be okay by the time you get home again."

"Are you sure? I can get you anything you need, you just have to let me know," Tony said.

"I'm sure. Go on, Fury will be mad if you're later than he's expecting you to be," Barton said. He waited until he was sure Tony was gone before he sighed. "JARVIS, has anyone ever taken the time to really pay attention to Tony since the other Jarvis died?"

"No, Sir," JARVIS replied. "Which is why he will return with dinner for you along with some sort of present. It's the only thing he knows and no matter your reassurances, he will worry you're going to leave unless he can truly make it up to you with something you'll like."

Barton sighed. "Ever want to travel back in time and kill someone, JARVIS?"

"Frequently, Sir."  
**** 

Tony made his way to the Helicarrier for his meeting with Steve, planning to talk with Fury once he was done with the more uncomfortable of the tasks. He wasn't sure what it said that he found talking to Steve scarier than meeting with Fury, but something, somewhere was warped. "Widow."

"I'm going to sit in," Natasha said. "To be sure Steve knows you are not lying. I also have a bag of gay porn moves in there should you wish to show him one."

"God no," Tony said. "I just want to get this over and done with and head to my next meeting. I figure Steve knows more about this than he does straight sex so maybe the talk can be a little shorter than you went through. Did Fury talk to you about taking him to a dance club?"

She nodded. "We're going tonight. It's a good idea, one I hadn't thought of. Steve needs a chance to be around people that don't know who he is, or what it is he can do," Natasha said. "Maybe he can find someone to date."

"Not holding my breath on that one," Tony said. "Here goes." He knocked on the door and headed into Steve's bunk. "Hey there, Steve, so, we have to do this to get you well grounded in your sexual education. Widow is going to be here too. I wanted to start this out by saying that I am not lying to you. I'm not going to embellish anything. This is just facts and figures and answers to any questions you have."

"I'm still not sure why it has to be you, Tony," Steve said.

"Because you do not want Fury in here doing this," Tony said. "He's the other option and if you're more comfortable with him doing this talk, then tell me now and I'll go get him. We're not doing this to punish you, Steve. Yeah, it is punishment in a way, but we don't want you scared away from sex for the rest of your life. With the right person, sex is amazing and no one should have to live without it."

"The guy I want won't even look at me," Steve said. "I don't see how you can talk about finding someone else."

"There's lots of people out there, Steve, and there might be someone you like even more," Tony said. He perched on a chair. "You won't know until you get out and look, and that's not going to happen being stuck here. Widow's taking you out for a night of dancing, or watching others dance, whichever you like better. You'll see all sorts of people and pairings. Go with the flow and be a kid for the first time in your life."

"I don't know how," Steve admitted. "I had to be an adult when I was eleven and never had a chance to do things people tell me were normal for kids back then, let alone understanding half of what kids are doing now."

Tony nodded. "Well, relax," he said. "Don't treat this as an assignment or something to be endured. The music they're playing isn't going to sound like music. It hasn't in years, but there's usually a beat you can at least bop along to. Talk to people, don't hide away, enjoy yourself. You've been to bars before, right? Back in the day both here and in Europe? The clubs aren't much different. It's a place to go to unwind, relax, and have fun."

"If I don't like it, then what?"

"We keep trying. The point of it all, Steve, is that you've been kept locked up and that isn't fair," Tony said. "Go out tonight with an open mind towards possibly making a new friend. You don't have to sleep with them if you don't want to. Sex is casual these days, I'm sure Natasha told you about that. Some people prefer a different partner every night. I used to, it's easier because you don't have to form any attachments to them beyond mutual attraction and lust."

"I don't understand how people can do that," Steve said. "Anything so intimate should be special."

"And some people agree with you," Tony said. "I guess what I'm trying to say, Steve, is go out and enjoy yourself. If you don't like the club scene, we can try art classes or you can join a group that works with homeless kids. Something that will get you out and interacting with the community because, right now, you're locked up and that just isn't fair to anyone, least of all you."

"How does Phil feel about all of this?" Steve asked.

"Well, he told me that he never covered rimming with you," Tony replied, ignoring Natasha's snort of amusement. "Which I have to say is really awkward because I just know you're going to think I'm lying to you when I tell you what that is all about, but you need to know. Widow, I don't suppose you have a video that covers that, do you? Might be easier with a visual aid."

"I do," Natasha said, smile teasing at her lips.

"Good. Great, load it up," Tony said. "Steve, what Phil feels about all of this doesn't matter because, while he's your handler and, hopefully eventually your friend again, this is all about you. No one else's feelings matter, not unless you hook up with someone that's with someone else again. That's just wrong and bad and you can see what sort of fall-out happens from it."

"The movie is ready," Natasha said.

"This is going to be so awkward," Tony groaned.


	91. Chapter 91

"How did it go, Stark?" Fury asked when Tony appeared in his office.

"I broke him," Tony admitted. "I showed him a video that had the one sex act in it that Phil specifically said they didn't do with each other and it was too much for Steve. I don't think you're ever going to get him out of his room again, and you need to test his blood pressure. I've never seen anyone turn that shade of red before and it can't be healthy."

Fury had to work not to smile. "Did he understand everything you told him?" he asked.

"I think so, but I don't know. There's still a lot of hurt feeling there, Nick. Steve, somehow, still feels that he's the one that's been wronged through all of this and I don't understand it at all. I mean that, I really don't. It bothers me because I see Clint so broken and trying to heal from so many wounds, and then I see Phil and he's lonely and hurting and I know he brought it on himself, but it bothers me too. He had dinner with JARVIS last night because no one else was around to eat with him."

"JARVIS?"

"Yeah, J can project an image of himself into any room where I have the holographic projectors set up. I'd forgotten he can do that, so it was a bit of a surprise to me, but seeing him again, it brought back memories," Tony said. "He and Phil were talking about books when I found them. I need to do something for him, something to help him be less lonely, but I think he's also punishing himself, so I don't know what I can do."

"Give me your take on the team right now," Fury said.

"We might be able to manage a battle if Steve can bury his attitude a little and look at everything rather than thinking the pre-battle intel is all he's going to get and I'm lying about what I'm seeing," Tony said. "Clint's not going to shoot him, he's too professional for that, and he's not going to be with us for a few more weeks anyway. I'm going to be watching everything I can when we're called out again, Nick. I have to keep them safe."

"So you think the team dynamic will be back soon."

"We'll have to actually have a battle to check it, but yeah, I think so."

Fury nodded. "It's a large Tower, I'm not as worried about downtime," he said. "I don't expect Barton and Rogers to be friends, but I do expect them to be able to work together. Barton realizes this. I need to be sure that Rogers does."

"I think he's listening to you and Natasha more than anyone else right now," Tony said. "Steve made a comment when I told him he should start looking for someone special, Nick. He said the man he wants won't even look at him. That tells me one thing, he's still hung up on Phil even after all of this."

"Do you remember your first sexual partner, Tony?"

"Sort of, it was a pretty wild night," Tony said. "I was also about fifteen at the time, so that's a long time ago."

"I don't wonder if things might have been better if Steve hadn't slept with someone back in the war," Fury said. "I doubt Peggy would have let him into her bed, and he was so gone on her that he wouldn't have looked at anyone else, but there might not have been such a strong fixation on Phil if Steve had had other partners before him."

"Or it could have been worse. Bruce told me that Steve said Phil's the only one that treats Steve like he's not lost," Tony said. "The only one that treats him normally. It's one reason I thought it might be good to get him out around people who don't know who he is, or don't care if they do. Steve needs to be seen as Steve and not Captain America for a while every day. Around here the identities are too closely tied together and I think everyone is sort of in awe of him. There was enough time for the legend to grow while he was down being frozen in the ice. I think too many people see the soldier and miss the scared and hurt young man that's inside him."

"You keep up this deep insightful shit and I'm putting you on a new detail," Fury said. "I'm starting to wonder how many layers you have, Tony."

Tony shrugged. "You get really good at reading people fast in my world," he said. "Saves you from getting slapped, and can help with sales too."

"I'm wondering how no one knew you were wearing a mask for so long," Fury said. "I'm going to have to talk with my field agents and send them for some more in-depth training."

"That mask had been in place for years, Nick. Widow had the best chance to see under it, and the fact that she didn't and that she missed I was dying for so long, that just shows how good of an actor I am," Tony said. "If it wasn't for this mess and the possibility of me losing my new family, that mask would still be firmly in place and no one would know about it. Not even you."

"I don't wonder if someone wouldn't have drawn you out though," Fury said. "Dr. Banner, maybe. I've never seen anyone hit it off as quickly as the two of you did."

"It's because I could see the truth in his eyes. I knew that he had a little more control than he was admitting to, and that if I could show him why I was there, why I was willing to fight, that there was a chance he would come and help us," Tony said. "Natasha helped with that, too, and so did you. You never lied to him, Nick. Yeah, you had the prison and Bruce knew what it was for, but you never locked him in there. Not even when everything went to hell and Loki escaped. I'm not keen on Hill ordering a strike on the Hulk, but it worked."

"I think you're a better man than you remember," Fury said. "All right, what else do you have for me?"

Tony grinned. "I have codes, frequencies, hack codes and plans for four projects for you using this new tech," he said, passing over a folder. "We just have to decide where we want to start."


	92. Chapter 92

"I'm half-tempted to send the Avengers minus Barton to clean the castle out," Fury said. "That way, if anything went wrong, you would be on-site to help out."

"I'm game," Tony said. "Seriously. I'd be able to do a couple of fly-over scans with the suit and no one would know I was up there, not unless they have some really expensive radar in there, but I can make it look like I'm heading somewhere else. There's no way for them to know that I've broken into their cloaking devices, so if they're smart, they'll stay quiet for any activity around them."

Fury nodded. "Do you think that your team is ready to do this?" he asked.

"Honestly, I don't know. Send someone along with us to be back-up. Coulson should probably have a helper because there's going to be a ton of data flying around, especially once we have to start hacking their systems," Tony replied. "Sitwell's smart, I wouldn't mind having him along, and Steve's been working closely with him. It's possible that it will help rather than hurt."

"I want you and Coulson over there first," Fury said. "Let's get the two of you in place and see what's going on over there. Get some scans, let's work out what's going on. How far can you fly without problems?"

"Base us in London," Tony said. "I'll take the jet to India and fly to London from there. That will take me right over the castle and I can get some scans when I'm in the air. As long as I don't hang around, they should play it smart."

"I'll send you an address," Fury said. "Go get ready, Tony. I'll brief the others and have them standing by in a location where they can reach the castle quickly. Oh, that reminds me. What video did you show Steve?"

"It was an extended porn scene with rimming," Tony said. He slipped his sunglasses on. "In my defense, you said everything."

It was all Fury could do not to start laughing.  
****

When Tony got back to the Tower, he headed right for his floor. "Hey, so I'm home, but not for long," he said. "Fury's got us heading out to take out the last of Randy's minions. I brought you this to keep you occupied while we're gone."

Barton looked at the package. "Tony, this is the Lego version of your Tower," he said.

"Yeah, I know, it seems like ego, but it was this or the Statue of Liberty and that one is just creepy," Tony said. "If there's somewhere else you want, tell me and I can have it made but this was on the fly. I just didn't want you bored while we're gone working on this."

"Fury's sending the whole team?"

"He's sending Phil and me first. Phil's going to London to base there. I'm going to India on my private plane and I'll suit up and fly over the cloaked castle on my way up to London to get some intel," Tony said. "There's so much that could go wrong with this, but Fury agreed, so maybe I'm doing something right here. He's also sending Sitwell to help with the team."

"I wish I could go with you guys."

"What did medical say today?"

"I can start shooting in another week, probably back in the field in two," Barton said. "I can't wait."

"What about your class? How are they doing?"

"Passed them on already. Once I got the bad habits straightened out, they picked up what they should have been doing all along," Barton said. "I think Fury has an op he wants my eyes on, but I have to be cleared for fieldwork before I can take on anything like that. Then I still have to face this stupid talk with Steve. Any ideas what he wants to say to me?"

Tony sighed. "Not a clue," he said. "I might have accidentally broken him today though. Natasha had all this gay porn there and there was one thing that I knew Steve didn't know about, so I asked if there was a video and she actually had one. I hate to admit how hot I found it, Clint, but I was having to work not to embarrass myself in front of Steve. Might have to track that one down. Anyway, I have never once seen a human go that red and stay that red before."

"Do I want to know?" Barton asked. "It wasn't anything with whips, was it?"

"No, but I think Natasha covered those along with other sex toys, kink, pain play, and scenes," Tony replied. "It was rimming."

Barton choked and started laughing. "You didn't."

"I kinda did," Tony said, lips twitching.

"Phil hates it, won't even discuss possibilities," Barton said. He tried to get himself under control, but started laughing again. "I've seen that video of Nat's," he finally managed. "It's pretty impressive when the guy comes just from the licking."

"I know," Tony agreed. "It's not something I've done or had done to me, but I might have to research and reconsider if things ever settle down and I can find a one-night stand."

"Probably not something a one-night stand would consider," Barton pointed out.

"Yeah, you're right. Oh well, I've lived this long without it, guess I can keep going," Tony said. "Clint, are you okay to stay here with just JARVIS for company while we're out taking down this castle?"

"I'll find something to do on base while you guys are gone," Barton said. "Maybe I can use the time to figure out if there's anything I want to say to Steve that isn't swearing or vulgar."

"You could still say all of that to him, maybe just at the end," Tony said. "Clint, remember, you have every right to feel this way. Don't hold back for Steve's sake."

"I'm not. I'm holding back for team dynamics," Barton said with a small sigh. "Be careful in the field, Tony, It's possible Randy's expecting you to break this tech and attack the castle. We don't know what's in there. You guys are going in blind, even if you can manage a scan or two before you move in."

Tony nodded. "Yep, I'm expecting a few robots, some lasers, and maybe even an alien or two," he said. "I've learned to never underestimate the mad scientists. I'll call when I'm in London and again when the op is over."

"Thanks, Tony. Keep an eye on Phil?"

"Yeah, I can do that."


	93. Chapter 93

Steve looked up when there was a tap on his door and it opened to let Director Fury into the room. "Sir, please tell me you have something for me to work on," he said. "I'd even take some sort of class at this point."

It was all Fury could do not to grin. "I'm sending your team, minus Agent Barton who is not cleared for field work, to clean up the castle where Randy was working on the cloaking devices," he said. "Agents Coulson and Sitwell will be handling the op. Your first briefing is in an hour with Agent Sitwell."

"Tony managed to break through them, Sir?"

"He did, and he's going to turn the tech to our advantage," Fury said. "At this point in time we do not know what's in the castle, what sort of weapons or other technology the group of scientists working there has. Tony is going to do a fly-over and scan as much as he can in an attempt to get us some basic intel, but you're going to have to pay close attention to both him and Dr. Banner once the team is on the ground. This is a situation that will change rapidly and could well turn deadly in an instant."

"Yes, Sir," Steve said. "I learned my lesson the last time. It's going to take some practice for me to get used to thinking on the fly again, but I'll do my best."

"Captain, you commanded a strike team that would go in with no information at all, and you brought every man back every time," Fury said. "I understand what losing someone close to you can do, but you cannot let it change your approach in the field. Caution is key, but moving on the fly even more so. I depend on you to perform like you did in the Battle of New York, and back in the War. On your down time I'm going to attempt to give you more chances to go out with agents as a safety net until you feel more at home in this time. Tony's right, you shouldn't be kept locked up and working."

"I don't mind, Sir. It's what I know."

Fury studied him for a long moment. "Captain, right now I'd say that you're licked," he finally said. "You need to find that fighting spirit again, and fast, because a sulkly Captain America isn't going to be able to get the job done."

"Did you just phrase it that way on purpose, Sir?" Steve asked, face turning red again.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Fury replied. "Get ready for your briefing and check your uniform, soldier. You have a mission."

"Yes, Sir," Steve managed.  
****

"That was really mean of you, Sir," Coulson said, once Fury rejoined him in Fury's office.

"I don't know what you mean, Coulson."

"Yes you do, Sir."

Fury finally smiled. "Boy needs to learn not to read more deeply into words than what someone means, Coulson," he said. "I thought an expression he was more familiar with would have a stronger impact."

"So that comment had nothing to do with the video and lesson Tony gave him?"

"Not at all," Fury said. "Get your ass on a plane, Coulson. I want this castle and I want the team working there."

"We'll get them, Sir," Coulson said. "I'll route you data as soon as Tony is on the ground again. We're going to move into position two days early, stay outside the shielded area and see if we can get some other readings from the castle before the team arrives. I don't like the idea of going in blind, and I'm doubtful Tony's fly-over will yield us much useful data."

"Which is why you're going to spend your time en route reviewing the basic plans we have for that castle along with everything our teams found in the castle where Barton was held captive," Fury said. "Get your head in the game, Coulson. I need you alert for this one."

Coulson nodded. "I'll do my best, Sir."

"You'll do better," Fury said. "I've got some files lined up for Barton to work with while you're gone. He'll be on base and he'll be busy. That's all you need to know, Coulson. Now go get your ass on that plane and get me some answers."

"Yes, Sir."


	94. Chapter 94

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, last scheduled update for a while. This is my last day of work and I fly to start house-hunting tomorrow. I'm taking my computer, but I don't know how much writing time I'll have given how many houses we're looking at and driving time.
> 
> I think I'll start doing bulk updates, three to four chapters at a time, so please keep your eyes open and, as always, thanks so much for reading. :)

Tony sent the jet home almost as soon as it landed and suited up in the hanger. "All right, JARVIS, we need as much intel as we can get on this mystery castle," he said, taking off and heading mostly west. "I don't know if the cloaks here will interfere with the codes I have or not, but it's possible they're a bit more rotating and we might have to fight to get through them."

"Available data so far indicates that they do not have that particular safeguard built in, Sir," JARVIS said.

"I'm trying to be ready for anything," Tony sighed. "Let's get the codes ready to go, start running the subroutine you uploaded before we left."

"Sir, I wish it to be on record that I protest this move without proper testing," JARVIS said. "These devices had a highly explosive content should they ever be placed in a foreign project or piece of technology, and there is no guarantee that you have completely eliminated that aspect with your hacking."

"Yeah, I know, J, but there wasn't time," Tony said. "We have to trust to my genius and your ability to keep programs running properly. Still, I can't think of a better reason to risk my life than to help Clint out. I'm still worried about him."

"As am I, Sir, though at the moment I will admit more of my concern is for Agent Coulson," JARVIS said. "Subroutine starting."

Tony wouldn't lie. He tensed up, waiting for an explosion to happen. The tech he'd been trying to crack was some of the most sophisticated he'd ever run across in his life, and, no matter what he told Fury, there was still a small risk that he'd missed a small code somewhere that could still cause an explosion. Having the suit he was wearing explode with him in it, that would be fatal. "What's the word, J?"

"Running as programmed, Sir," JARVIS reported. "I will monitor it closely until we shut the program down again."

"One small step for programmers," Tony sighed. "What's going on with Phil?"

"I worry about him, Sir. He is carrying a great deal of grief, remorse, and guilt inside of him, and it's not visible," JARVIS said. "Having shared a meal with him, even if I did not eat, he told me a few things that I believe he hasn't told anyone else since he woke up in medical, if not before."

"Agent has such a good poker face, JARVIS, it's hard to know what he's thinking, let alone feeling. I think that Clint is probably the only one that's really able to tell, and with him working to put himself back together again, I don't know how good a read he has on anyone, let alone Phil," Tony said with a small sigh. "I know I keep saying it, people are probably getting tired of hearing me say it, but I really don't know what to do."

"My advice is to continue on much as you have been, Sir. Making yourself available to anyone on the team to talk at any time has been most helpful," JARVIS said. "Everyone understands you're trying your hardest to help, and they appreciate it. I believe the most important thing for you to remember is that they are not going to leave you."

"Yeah, everyone said that, J, and they still did," Tony said bitterly. "People talk about trust and love, about helping the ones they love through hard times, and I just want to laugh at them. How many people have done that for me?"

"Two, Sir," JARVIS said softly. "My predecessor, and Ms. Potts."

"I know why Pep left. I know that she wasn't able to handle the uncertainty involved with my joining the Avengers, and I don't blame her, JARVIS. Don't ever think that for a minute, but while we were together, it was like she still didn't understand me," Tony said. "Does anyone understand me?"

"I do, Sir."

Tony couldn't help the grin. "I know you do, J. Anyone else you can think of?"

"Agents Coulson and Barton, Dr. Banner, and possibly Agent Romanov is starting to, Sir," JARVIS said. "Adjust course northwest."

"Got it. I just, I still feel like no one does understand me," Tony said. "I know that everyone is trying to help Clint, and that is totally where their focus should be. I don't want any of the focus taken off him because he needs people more than I do, but it would be nice to be able to relax around someone like I can with you, JARVIS. Even with Clint, I have to be so on guard not to say something that's going to cut him up more, like I did before leaving to talk with Steve. I'm trying so hard, but it just doesn't feel right."

"I understand your meaning, Sir, and assure you that Clint bears you no ill will at all for your conversation prior to your departure to SHIELD," JARVIS said. 

"I still shouldn't have even brought it up," Tony said. "Okay, so, castle. Let's stop at this one and get some detailed scans for reference and then see if we can sneak up on the other one on the ground. I want to try to get as many readings as I can before we do our fly-over, J. We need to keep the team safe, and we're the best shot everyone has at coming out of this alive."

"I shall start searching for markers in the woods, Sir," JARVIS said. "I believe that there is a high probability of proximity alarms on the cloaked castle. It might be safer to attempt two fly-overs rather than attempting to sneak up on them."

"I don't know how we would be able to hide for a second pass though, JARVIS," Tony said. He landed next to the castle where Barton had been held. "Okay, start scanning. I'm not going inside, but I'll walk around out here. We still have the floor plans from last time, right?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Okay, wicked. Well, let's see what we can figure out," Tony said.


	95. Chapter 95

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couple of notes: The agents I'm choosing to send in will probably surprise you guys. Keep in mind that I'm not caught up on AoS, please. I've seen the spoilers though and am choosing to ignore them, for this story, anyway. :) One of these has been planned a long time.
> 
> Also, I've been focusing on my novels and novellas quite a lot lately and have some new things published. My job takes a lot out of me and my writing time is next to nil right now. I'm taking a day away from my novels to update some fan fiction pieces. Thank you, as always, for your patience with this. I'm doing my best to get my WIPs wrapped up.
> 
> Here's the link to my author page on amazon. com.  
> http://www.amazon.com/Lexxie-Scott/e/B00BHME9QQ  
> I have books about dragons, Sherlock Holmes, ghosts, one horror novella, and arson investigation/murder mysteries. Take a look if you have a second.

The team, minus Tony and Barton, were on the plane heading towards London when two monitors came to life. One showed Fury and the other Barton. Natasha was the first to speak. "Director. Clint."

"Agent Romanov," Fury said. "Information is starting to come in from Iron Man regarding the target. We're routing it to your tablets as it comes in. It appears that this castle is more heavily fortified than the one where Hawkeye was held as bait for Iron Man."

"I've taken a look and there's a lot that can potentially go wrong," Barton said. "This castle is a nest, guys. It has hidden panels, doors, and rooms. Tony's not picking up on any life signs, but there's no way this place doesn't have a guard on it. With this level of tech, you can be positive that there's someone, or something, there to guard it. I''ll be reviewing the data with Tony until the team is on the ground."

"Agent Barton has also picked out what he believes to be sniper nests that you need to be alert for," Fury said. "I'm sending additional agents along to help you clear this nest out. Captain Rogers, you will be in command on the ground, the handlers will be close by, but out of the danger circle as indicated by Tony. You all will be in constant contact and I expect to see a team working together and listening to each other. Am I understood?"

"Yes, Sir," Steve said.

Fury sighed. "You'll find additional information on the other team on your tablets. Review it as well. You are hitting the ground hot and will go into action immediately," he said. "Agent Sitwell, you will be remaining on the plane and Agent Coulson will be joining you there. That is your base during this operation."

"Understood, Sir," Sitwell said. "Sir, are you sure about these agents?"

"Do you have a problem with them, Agent?"

Sitwell recognized the tone. "No, Sir."

"I didn't think so," Fury said. "Captain Rogers, once the enemy threat is contained, Iron Man will be taking control of the equipment and any scientific materials that survive the battle. I do not want anyone arguing with him about this, or anything he asks you to do. I want this tech for SHIELD. I also want to be able to question as many people as we possibly can."

Bruce coughed. "I'll do my best, Nick," he said.

"Thank you," Fury said. "Barton."

"Guys, this is a trap. We know it's a trap. These guys have cloaking devices and there's no way to know that they are near you until they uncloak," Barton said. "I've reviewed the video of my kidnapping several times and haven't been able to see anything that will help you out. Nat, you're the one that's going to have the best chance of seeing them before they uncloak. Bruce, I don't know if the Hulk will be able to help with anything."

"His senses are pretty good, I'll see if there's anything I can do," Bruce said. "Do you have any idea how long it will take Tony to get this tech deactivated so we'll be able to see who we're fighting?"

"It all depends on what he finds in his fly-overs, and what JARVIS can do," Barton said. "Nat, you've worked with a couple of the agents coming in. Brief the team as best you can on them, would you?"

Natasha flipped to the page on her tablet and smiled. "The enemy won't know what hit them," she said.

"Try not to traumatize the kids," Barton said.

"If you're finished," Fury said, clearing his throat."

"Sorry, Sir," Barton said, ducking his head. "I'll get back to work on the videos Tony is sending along, let you know if I spot anything."

"Director, I have a request to make," Steve said.

"Captain?"

"Could Tony somehow route video of the battle to Agent Barton?" Steve asked. "I'd feel better having his eyes on us, even if he can't be in the field."

Fury stared at Steve for a long moment. "Hawkeye?"

"Sure," Barton said, "I'll take a look. Not sure what good I can be from around the world though."

"Clint, shut it," Natasha said. "Your eyes are the best thing for us to have with us, even if it is over a computer. You know that, somewhere inside of yourself. Remember what I said."

He closed his eyes with a sigh and nodded. "Yeah, don't think it's going to happen though," Barton said. "I'll be in touch."

"What did you tell him?" Bruce asked. "If you can share, anyway. I don't want you to break confidence with him."

"I told him that he is worthy of the name Hawkeye and he is worthy of respect and love," Natasha said, eyes on her tablet. "He is having a hard time remembering that."


	96. Chapter 96

"Tony, can I talk to you for a minute before the others get here?" Coulson asked softly.

"Yeah, sure, one second," Tony replied. "I want to make sure that I'm not going to screw this up. I have the codes, but they have to be entered at the right time and in the right sequence or everything will go boom on us, and boom is bad. I don't want a castle to go boom with my team in there. JARVIS, double check that the second formula is right. I think it's missing a three."

"Sir."

"All right, Coulson, what did you need?" Tony said, turning to look at the other man.

Coulson sighed. "I was wondering if, when this is all over, you would take me to see where Clint was held hostage," he said. "I'd like to see it."

"That's not a good idea," Tony said. "Seriously, that's like one of the worst ideas I think I've ever heard and I've heard a lot. Mainly out of my own mouth after alcohol and too many hours programming in the lab, but this one might just top the list. You don't need to see where he was held, Phil, because the only thing that's going to do is make you feel more guilty than you already do for the kidnapping and the affair and everything else. We're trying to get everyone put back together better than they were before, right? Whole and healthy and all that good stuff."

"That's the general idea, yes."

"Okay, so say that I take you to see the room where Clint's blood was spilled. Where he was tortured by the enemy. What good does that do beyond hurting you more?" Tony asked. "J is already worried about you, that you're more depressed than you're letting on. What do you think it would do to Clint if you broke and did something stupid like trying to kill yourself? You know that he would blame himself, because that seems to be his automatic defense in things, and then we would lose him, too, so what are you trying to really do here, Phil? Are you trying to atone in some weird way for not going to get him when he was kidnapped? Yeah, you screwed that one up badly, but now you want to torture yourself because you feel guilty. That's stupid. That's beyond stupid, and I know from stupid."

Coulson sighed again. "I don't know. I guess I thought if I saw the room it would help remind me of the promises I broke."

"Please, like you need help to remember those promises you broke. I think that they're engraved in front of your eyes and they're all your seeing right now," Tony said. "No, I won't take you to the castle because the only thing that's going to do is hurt you more, and you've hurt enough. You've caused enough hurt, and by hurting yourself you're going to hurt Clint, and I won't let you do that to either of you. Someone has to step up and be the adult here and say enough, and you know the situation is bad when it has to be Tony Stark that is being the damn adult. I suck at being an adult, but if I'm the only one available, then I'll do it and to hell with the consequences. If I find out you've snuck off to that castle, I'm going to report back to Nick about it and make sure that he puts you in a cell on a suicide watch until you come to your senses because you are not allowed to do that to Clint, or the team. We all need you, Phil, and I think that's something you've managed to forget."

"Second sequence confirmed, Sir," JARVIS said. "Agent Coulson, please allow me to add my objection to your venturing to the castle for any reason. You are in enough pain as it is, and I do not wish to see you suffer more."

"All right, I know when I'm outnumbered," Coulson said. "JARVIS, do you have an ETA on the rest of the team?"

"The backup team that Director Fury sent has landed and will be here in a moment," JARVIS said. "I believe you have an old friend coming in, Agent Coulson. The Avengers and Agent Sitwell are ten minutes out."

Tony grinned. "Then let's get this party started," he said. "JARVIS, I want as little lag time as possible between us taking out this tech and our team engaging any enemy that is in there. Find out what that is for me."

"Sir."

Coulson turned when his ears caught the sound of people walking through the woods towards them. The first person he saw was the last one he expected. "Melinda May?" 

"Fury asked me as a special favor to keep you in one piece," she said. "We brought a sniper, but he won't match up to the Hawk. Hope that broken leg heals up quick, we really could use him in the field for this."

"He will be with us, Agent May," JARVIS said, "though it will be via video and radio only."

"Who requested that?" Tony asked. "I thought Birdy was going to work with Fury to get things analyzed for us and then work on that other project."

"Captain Rogers made the request specifically," JARVIS said. "Director Fury deferred to Agent Barton on whether or not he would be joining us, and he agreed. There will be a two and a half minute window between us entering in these codes and the tech deactivating, Sir."

Tony shook his head and lowered the faceplate on his suit. "Too slow, we need to get that down."

Coulson shook his head with a fond sigh. "He'll be working for a bit, May," he said. "Introduce me to the sniper?"

"Agent Grant Ward, newly level 7," May said, indicating a young man near the back of the group. "He doesn't talk much."

"Should fit right in," Coulson said. He recognized everyone else, some of SHIELD's best fighters. "The Avengers will be on the ground shortly. We'll brief everyone then, and then Iron Man will head out to eliminate the cloaking devices that cover not only this castle, but potentially anyone that is inside as well."

"Cloaking devices?" May asked.

"So complete that Hawkeye can't see the enemy before they lower the field," Coulson replied. "We're not sure about the others on the Avengers, but we're going to be finding out."


	97. Chapter 97

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being so patient during November, guys. It was national novel writing month challenge and I had signed up for it. :) I managed to finish the project I started and it's a new horror piece, so please be watching for a link to it here soon.
> 
> Hope everyone is having a good December. Stay safe and warm, or cool, as the case may be. :)

"How far away is the castle where Clint was held hostage?" Coulson asked, looking around the area where Tony said the plane and handlers would be safe during the battle at the cloaked castle.

"Few miles," Tony replied. "You're not going near it."

"Why not?"

"Because I know what you want to do and it won't help anything," Tony said. "Phil, listen to me for a second. There's a floor in that room that is stained with Clint's blood, yes, but what good would seeing it do for you? You already feel bad enough about what's happened. You've scared a few of us badly and now what? You want to go to a cell so you can feel even worse about what's happened?"

Coulson sighed. "It'll make it more real to me, Tony," he said. 

"How does seeing blood on the floor make it more real than sitting in the Tower across from Clint looking at his eyes?" Tony demanded. "How will walking through cold stone walls make it more real than watching the man that loves you more than his own life try to survive each day because you took his trust in you and ripped it to shreds? Tell me that, Phil. Tell me how walking into that castle will be anything else than torturing yourself because you still feel guilty about what you did."

"How do I not feel guilty about what I did?" Coulson shouted. "I can't sleep without seeing him dying because I didn't come after him like I promised him I would. I can't close my eyes at night and not see his looking back at me, dead, because I broke him. I did that to him, Tony, and I don't know how to fix it."

"You could stop shouting so close to an enemy fortress," Natasha said, coming out of the forest. "You will fix it, Coulson, because I will still kill you if you do not. Where is the rest of the team?"

"Landing now," Sitwell said.

Tony walked off towards the area where the information indicated the castle was, although it was still cloaked. He put his helmet back on and sighed. "I still don't know what to do, J," he admitted. "Do I let Coulson go into that other castle and destroy more of himself than is already gone, or do I keep fighting to keep him out of it?"

"I believe that we should do everything in our power to keep Phil out of that castle," JARVIS said. "You are quite correct that he will be hurting himself worse by making that choice, even if he does not see it at the moment. It is our responsibility to keep him safe while we are on this mission, and bring him home whole so that he can continue to make small steps in recovering some sort of relationship with Clint."

"I hope that's possible, J," Tony said. He switched over to the external mike. "Widow."

"Thanks for standing up to him like that," Natasha said. "Clint wouldn't want Coulson hurting worse, and seeing the insides of that castle would do just that. We need you for briefing."

Tony opened the face plate and sighed. "What do you know about this group of people we've been given to work with?" he asked softly.

"Melinda May is a fighter on par with me, and she's an old friend," Natasha replied. "Some say that she's the one that really helped to train Clint when he first came to SHIELD, but that's rumor. Grant Ward isn't much good on a team, but he's smart and quick, and will be fine in a battle. The others are shooters, here to help take out those that get past the rest of us."

"Looks like Ward is already trying to make friends," Tony said.

Across the field, Ward was walking up to Steve. "Hey, Sitwell told me you're the team leader on this one," Ward said, holding out a hand. "Name's Ward. What's the game plan?"

"I need to know the final details from Stark, but we try to capture as many people alive as we can," Steve said, shaking Ward's hand. "If it's a choice between person and technology though, the tech comes first. Those are Fury's orders. What's your skill set?"

"Infiltration and recovery," Ward said. "I can fight, shoot, and restrain with the best of them though. We've got two tough girls on the team with us, though, so there might not be much left for us to do."

May snorted softly and turned to look towards the empty space ahead of them. "Cloaked castle, Phil?" she asked softly.

"That's what they say," Phil replied just as softly. "What have you heard?"

"Enough that you and I are going to have a long talk when this is over with," May said. "Where's Stark?"

"Right here," Tony said, walking up to the group. He held up his hand and a hologram of the castle appeared over it. "The layout is essentially the same as any medieval castle you would find in this part of the world. My scans show that all parts of the castle are in tact and are stable. I've worked out the code to turn off the cloaking devices, but everyone needs to be alert for things blowing up. I'm not able to tell if there's any sort of self-destruct wired into the castle here, and that bothers me. I also can't tell if anyone is home, and that worries me. Bruce, what do you think?"

Bruce sighed. "I think we're walking into one hell of an elaborate trap," he said. "We know next to nothing about this tech, the people that are very likely waiting for us behind those walls, and you should be able to pick up on explosives. You have in the past, so we know it's not your scanners that are the problem, Tony. It's very likely we're looking at a new type of explosive in here, too."

"We've got five heavy hitters ready to go in," Tony said. "I've wired my suit's camera back to the Tower and we've got Hawkeye watching for us along with JARVIS and my other little tricks on the suit. I'm going to have to be directly over the castle to turn the tech off, and we know that there's a small, personal version of this. Everyone pick a partner and watch each other's backs. I'm not going to be able to be everywhere at once."

"May and I work well together," Natasha said with a small smile.

"Guess that leaves me with Steve," Ward said.

"I'll be fine," Bruce said with a small cough. 

"Sitwell and Coulson will be keeping an eye on each other here at the command station," Tony said. "I'll hook Barton into comms once I get into position. Use your callouts, people. I need to know what you're seeing to make sure all of this tech is deactivated. Captain?"

Steve sighed. "We don't know how many people are in here or what sort of tech they have," he said. "We're going in hard and fast with our eyes open as wide as they can be. We don't have a sniper up high this time around, so keep that in mind. He's going to be watching our backs via camera, but he won't be able to see nearly as much as we'd like. The shooters will be surrounding the castle to take out strays that try to sneak out. Do not shoot to kill. Maim unless you're in danger. Director Fury wants answers, and I'd like to get him some. Bruce, I know how the Hulk likes to play, but do your best to influence the damage to the main and outer walls where they're less likely to have lab equipment set up."

Coulson nodded. "You have your orders, Avengers," he said. "Go and bring down this group."


	98. Chapter 98

Tony took off from the group and headed up over the castle. “Okay, JARVIS, let’s get those cloaks down and see what happens next,” he said, hovering in position. “I’m ready for everything, even a nuclear blast.”

“I do not believe that lowering the cloak will result in such a blast, Sir,” JARVIS said. “Starting sequence run now. I believe it more probable that the blast will come once our team is inside the castle and at risk for attacks.”

“Way to look on the bright side there, J,” Tony said. “Clint, you hooked in?”

“Yeah, I’m here, Tony,” Barton replied. His face appeared to one side of the screen Tony watched the world and suit through. “Not sure what good I’ll be, but I’m here.”

“We need your eyes, Hawkeye,” Tony said. “Wish you were here with us for this, but I’ll take you watching over video if I don’t get to have you up high somewhere near-by. I don’t care what Fury says, there is no one that can take your place in the field.”

Barton managed a grin. “How’s Phil doing?”

“He’s hanging in there,” Tony said. He paused when a castle appeared below him. “Cloaks are down, people. Let’s head in and see how they want to kill us this time.”

“Sir, I am picking up on multiple life signs in the center building,” JARVIS reported. “Along with weapons, but no explosives.”

“That’s something. You copy that, Cap?”

“I copy. We’re heading in now. Join us when you’re ready, Iron Man.”

Tony smirked and dropped into the courtyard, accidentally landing on three people. “Huh, guess that works too,” he said. “J, let’s get these personal cloaks deactivated. Search for heat signals or weapon traces. Find me a way to find these creeps before the cloaks are down.”

“I’m not seeing anything, Tony,” Barton said. “These cloaks are too good, even for my eyes.”

Tony and Clint watched as both Natasha and Melinda May were grabbed by invisible attackers and picked up off the ground. They winced as the women managed to completely disable their attackers without breathing hard. “Anything, Widow?” Tony asked.

“No warning, no body heat,” she reported, starting back towards the main building. “No air movement before they grabbed us.”

“JARVIS,” Tony said.   
“Personal cloaks should be going down now, Sir,” JARVIS reported.

The courtyard was suddenly full of very confused looking men in black uniforms. The girls grinned and ran towards one group while Ward and Steve headed towards another, and the Hulk appeared in a corner. Tony started blasting at people, trying to knock them out rather than kill them. “They only thought their tech was hack proof,” Tony said with a grin. “Barton, what are you seeing?”

“Weapons up high,” Barton replied.

“On it,” Tony said, taking off again. “Widow, on your left.”

She kicked out, catching a man with a knife in the head. “Thanks, Stark,” Natasha said. “May, we need to step this up a little.”

May grinned. “Thought you would never ask,” she said.

“Haven’t seen those two fight as a team in too long,” Barton said. “To the right, Stark.”

“Got it,” Tony said. He landed on the walkway and knocked out the men manning the weapons. “These are not guns. I don’t know what they are, but they don’t fire any sort of projectile I’ve ever seen. Coulson, you ever see anything like this before?”

“Negative, Iron Man,” Coulson said. “Try to bring one back intact for us to take apart to see what makes it tick. Captain, you and Ward need to get into the main building as soon as possible.”

“Almost there,” Steve said, catching his shield again. “Grant, want a boost?”

“Sure, I’ll go in the window there and open the door for you from the inside,” Ward replied.

“Don’t split up,” Tony said. “Big guy, give them a boost.”

The Hulk appeared behind Steve and Ward, picked them both up and tossed them through the windows into the main building. Ward rolled when he hit the ground and sat up with a grin. “Never traveled like that before,” he said. “You got any openings on your team, Captain?”

“You’ll have to talk to Fury about that one,” Steve replied. “Stark, need you in here now.”

“On my way,” Tony said. He flew in through the same window his team entered through and made a quick turn to avoid hitting the ceiling. “What the hell is this?”

“I was hoping you could tell me,” Steve said, punching a man in a white coat. 

“JARVIS, get me readings on this thing,” Tony said, landing next to the two members of his team. “This isn’t a cloaking device. I don’t know what this is, but it’s probably not good given how they’re protecting it.”

“Need us in there?” Natasha asked.

“No, you guys stay back and secure the outside,” Steve said. “There’s not a lot of space in here and I do not want the Hulk in here. Keep him busy out there.”

“You got it.”

“Sir, it would appear, given the readings on this machine, that it is some sort of an attempt at time travel,” JARVIS said. “Why would they be wishing to travel in time.”

“Oh, I can think of all sorts of reasons,” Tony said. He punched one guy in a white coat and grabbed his partner by the neck. “Tell me what this machine is.”

“It’s a machine to tear apart time,” the man said.

Tony almost growled. “Not happening,” he said. “Cap, you and Ward get the hell out of here. J, arm the weapons.”

“Stark,” Coulson said, “we need that in one piece to examine it.”

“Bite me,” Tony snapped. He dropped the man he’d been holding and took off. He paused for a minute to make sure his team was out the door before he aimed the new weapons he’d built into the suit at the machine in the middle of the room and fired.  
*~*

From their position back away from the battle, Coulson and Sitwell watched the fireball mushroom in the air. Coulson sighed. “He never has been very good at following orders.”

“Fury’s going to be pissed,” Sitwell said.

“That might just be the understatement of the century,” Coulson replied.


	99. Chapter 99

Tony flew off into the distance towards the other castle. “This ends now,” he snarled. “No more pain from this place. J, tell me we’ve got one more blast in those weapons.”

“We do, Sir.”

“Good.”

“Tony, what are you going to do?” Barton asked.

“Blow the castle where they held onto you into dust,” Tony replied. “Coulson wants to go down in there and I’m worried he’s going to sneak off and try to hurt himself worse than he already is. You both need to heal, not reopen these wounds.”

Barton nodded with a sigh. “You’re right, Tony,” he said softly. “I just don’t know what else I can do. I can’t magically start trusting Coulson again, no matter how much everyone may want me to. It just doesn’t work like that.”

“I know it doesn’t, Clint, and the only reason I’m doing this is because I’m done. I am done with this group of people hurting my family.” He landed and aimed at the castle. “Dust, JARVIS.”

The weapons fired, the resulting explosion shaking the ground for miles around. “These people are out for pain,” Tony said. “I don’t care what Fury wants, he is not getting his hands on any of this tech.”

“How are you going to stop him?” Clint asked.

“I wish I knew,” Tony sighed. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to get back to the Tower tonight, Clint. Do you need anything that you can’t get for yourself?”

“Nah, I’m fine,” Clint said. “JARVIS can always order delivery for me if I don’t feel like getting up and going down to the kitchen for some reason or another. I’ll see you when you get back, Tony.”

“That’s if Fury doesn’t kill me when he sees what I’ve done out here,” Tony said. He waited until the feed was dead before he sighed. “What do you think, J?”

“I think that the Director will understand once the anger drains off of him,” JARVIS said. “I’m not sure what sort of report he will have received before we have a chance to talk with him.”

“An unbiased one, but that’s not going to make any difference,” Tony said. He took off back towards the battle site. “Fury wanted this tech and I blew it up. It doesn’t matter that I did it to save the planet – again – all he’s going to be able to see is a lost chance at some highly advanced tech.”

“I believe that this is the best way for events to have transpired,” JARVIS said. “No one should be messing with time. I am uncertain what it was those scientists were attempting to prove, but they likely would have killed everyone on the planet had that machine ever been turned on.”

“The problem is going to be convincing Fury of that,” Tony said, landing next to the command center. “Coulson.”

“Tell me what the hell you were thinking in there, Stark,” Coulson said. “You had clear and specific orders that all tech was to be left intact for SHIELD. Instead all we have to show for our battle here today is a smoking crater and some unconscious men.”

“Two craters. I blew up the other castle too,” Tony said. “I was in charge of the tech here, Coulson. My call. Not yours. I’m probably the only one on the team smart enough to know exactly what that machine was for, and the problems it would cause should it ever have been finished.”

“Not the only one,” Bruce said from behind them. “But probably the better of the two. Tony did the right thing, Phil. That’s what we’re here for. We protect the planet, and that’s exactly what he did.”

“You don’t disobey direct orders,” Coulson said.

Tony took off his helmet and looked at Coulson. “I do whatever the hell I want, Coulson, and you’re going to have to get used to it,” he said, voice low. “My orders were to assess the tech and keep the team safe. I did both. When I realized what that machine was, I made the call to destroy it to save the planet. Not the team, the planet, and every person living here. You can be mad at me if you want, but you do not get to lecture me when I do something right.” He put the helmet back on and took off into the growing night.

Coulson sighed and rubbed his eyes. He didn’t know how he was going to explain the outcome of the mission to Director Fury.  
*****

“Sir, Director Fury wishes for us to land on the Helicarrier before returning to the Tower,” JARVIS said.

“Does he want to lecture me, too?” Tony asked.

“He did not say, Sir,” JARVIS replied.

“Transmit back that I’ll come in only if I am not going to get another lecture on rules and battle tactics,” Tony said. “I am sick and tired of people yelling at me when I do something right. I have enough problems of my own and do not need people yelling at me for doing the right thing.”

“Understood, Sir.”

“What’s flight time home, J?”

“Two hours, should you maintain current speed,” JARVIS said. “Director Fury says that he does not wish to lecture you on the events of the battle, Sir. He merely wishes to know what the technology was and why you made the choice you did.”

Tony snorted. “I don’t need to land for that. Patch him through to the suit, J. Let’s get this over with and I can get home and maybe get some sleep,” he said. “I’m tired, J. I’m tired of having to be the adult and keep everything from falling apart around me.”

“The Director, Sir.”

“Are you okay, Tony?” Fury asked.

“No, I’m not. I just found a group of people attempting to rend time apart and destroyed any hope they had of doing it. When I landed, I had an irate Coulson in my face yelling at me,” Tony snapped. “I did what needed to be done and I do not need some handler questioning my motives when it comes to technology. I don’t care about any so-called good SHIELD would have been able to put that machine to. No one messes with time. That just leads to the end of the world, and I thought that was what we’re supposed to be protecting. I’m sick and tired of people acting like I’m an adult and the only one holding anything together at home and then turning around and treating me like a bad child when I do the right thing.”

Fury listened to the rant and nodded at the end of it. “You did do the right thing, Tony,” he said. “I think I would have blown the machine up had I been there with you. Yeah, I wanted new tech for SHIELD, to try and help to keep my people safe, but not at the expense of the planet. Was there anything there that we can use?”

“Some gun and the cloaking tech,” Tony said. “My hack proved good on that, and there’s at least one gun that didn’t get damaged in the blast.”

“Then I’d like to hire you to figure out what that gun is and how we can turn it to our advantage, Tony,” Fury said. “As well as the cloaking tech. Being able to hide my operatives before I want anyone to see them will reduce injuries and deaths, and that’s exactly what we’re working towards. Which one of the handlers jumped you?”

“Phil. I don’t know what happened. He was fine and then he was irate.”

“I’ll talk with him, but it’s probably a result of him attempting to be in control again,” Fury said. “How did Barton do working via camera with your team?”

“Well enough, but I was the only one he talked to, so that probably had something to do with it,” Tony said with a small sigh. “I blew up the other castle too, Nick. Coulson wanted to go and see the cell where Clint was held and I didn’t want him to hurt himself like that. They’re both gone, blown to dust mites.”

“Is the team in one piece?”

“And then some,” Tony said. “Ward and May fit in well with our team, Nick. It’s possible they could be a good addition in future battles.”

Fury grinned. “We’ll see,” he said. “I’ll let you know when the gun arrives for you to come and start working with it.”

“You don’t want your people to do it?”

“I don’t trust them not to blow themselves up,” Fury said. “Even if you just start the project, get me the large picture, then they can go in and work on it. I learned the hard way not to give them unknown technology.”

Tony managed a smile. “I’ll see what I can do with it, Nick,” he said. “But first I’m going back to my Tower and I’m going to sleep for a week. I’m tired and I’m not in the mood to be bothered any time soon.”

“All right, get some sleep then,” Fury said. “You do know that you’ll have to talk to Coulson at some point, right?”

“Maybe when I can be an adult again,” Tony said.


	100. Chapter 100

Barton wasn’t on the sofa in Tony’s apartment when Tony got back to the Tower. Tony went to his bedroom, stripped, and headed for the shower. “I don’t want to see anyone unless the world is going to end, J,” he said, stepping under the water. “I don’t care what happens, if there’s a fight in the Tower or not. I’m done for a while. I just can’t do this anymore.”

“I understand, Sir,” JARVIS said. “Would you like for me to order you anything for dinner before you go to sleep, Sir?”

“Nah. I’ll be fine. I’m probably too upset to even try to eat right now,” Tony said. He reached for the shampoo. “I know I stepped up into the adult position when things started falling apart here, J, but I don’t know if I can keep doing it. I’m so bad at being an adult, and I don’t know what else I can do right now. Clint’s healing up and will be back out with the group here soon. He’s got Katie to help him out when he needs it. Coulson, hell, I don’t know what his problem is, but I’m having real issues with his mood swings.” Tony leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. “Is it bad that I don’t care if everyone leaves me? I’ve been so worried about that for so long, so scared that I’m going to end up on my own again, and now I just don’t care.”

“I think that it’s possible you need to speak with someone that can give you advice on how to proceed from here, Sir,” JARVIS said. “Maybe Dr. Banner would be able to help you see the larger picture and figure out the future you wish to attempt to obtain.”

Tony managed a small smile. “Maybe,” he said. “I don’t know that I want to talk with anyone on the team though.”

“What about Ms. Potts, Sir?” JARVIS asked. “You know that she will always make time for you and, while she learned from you, she does have a large heart and is quite intelligent.”

“She’d just want me to do paperwork if I went to see her,” Tony said. He stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel. “I don’t know, J. You know it’s bad when I’m thinking about going to talk with Fury about this.”

“Would he be such a bad choice though, Sir?” JARVIS asked. “I have secured your floor for the night. Clint will be able to come back to the sofa should he wish, but not into the inner part of your space. Director Fury, for all his lies and deceptions, has proven to be a good friend to you since you started showing him you do care about those around you.”

“I wouldn’t have to worry about telling anyone anything that they weren’t supposed to know, either,” Tony said. He crawled into bed and curled up under the blankets. “Turn on the white noise, J. I’m going to get some sleep if it’s the last thing I do. No one gets to disturb me until I want to wake up. I don’t care if I sleep for a week. I’m tired.”  
“Understood, Sir.”  
*~*

Clint had ventured down to the kitchen to make himself a late night snack and hadn’t heard the suit when Tony came home. He took his sandwich and chips back up to Tony’s floor and settled back on the sofa, and then noticed the door was shut. “Hey, JARVIS, is Tony home?”

“He is, Sir,” JARVIS replied. “Mr. Stark has requested he not be disturbed until further notice.”

“That bad, huh?” Clint asked. “Do you know, JARVIS, that part of me wishes that I’d never gone out on the landing pad drunk that night. Then Tony wouldn’t have found out about my personal problems and he wouldn’t be so torn up inside.”

“Had he not found out about you, Clint, would you still be alive?” JARVIS asked.

Clint just shrugged. JARVIS sighed, a remarkably good impression of the sound, but he’d had time to practice. “I believe that Mr. Stark would rather be where he is now than have lost you as a friend, Clint. Mr. Stark has never been good at being the adult in any situation, which is one reason I’ve always been so thankful for Ms. Potts, but he stepped up into the position when he saw his family falling apart.”

“Yeah, and now he’s locked in his room,” Clint said.

“The battle today took a lot out of him,” JARVIS said. “Mr. Stark has been on an emotional roller-coaster for a long time, and I believe that it has only intensified lately.”

“My fault,” Clint said.

“He and I both disagree with that statement,” JARVIS said. “Mr. Stark did not have to open himself up when you were hurt so badly, Clint. He could have brought you inside and then gone back to his lab to work on one of his many projects. Instead, he saw a friend in pain and related to what it was he saw. I believe that he has been made the better for the focus he has given to you.”

“Tony saw his whole life falling apart and I’m the one that started that fallout,” Clint pointed out. 

“I do not know how you could not have reacted badly to seeing your husband of so many years in bed with another man, Sir,” JARVIS said. “You did not ask Mr. Stark to stay and talk with you. He did so because he wanted to. One thing you have to remember about Mr. Stark is that he’s never had friends before. He has never really had family either, and that means that he’s still learning what it is to have both.”

“No one on our team has really had a family though,” Clint said.

“But you all have had friends,” JARVIS said. “Even if it is one or two, you have all had friends that have been there for you no matter what the situation you find yourselves in. Mr. Stark has not. That is one reason he is so afraid of losing everyone on the team. All he can see is his life as it was prior to the events in New York. He no longer has Ms. Potts to help keep the nightmares away at night. Should the team leave the Tower, he would truly be alone. That, more than anything, scares him badly.”

“He would have you, JARVIS,” Clint said.

“But I am a computer,” JARVIS said. “I believe that the team has begun to forget that about me, but I am truly just a computer program based on a real person, yes, but I am not that person. I cannot hold Mr. Stark when he is sad, or help him when he is ill. I know him better than anyone, and yet I cannot help him when he is hurt.”

Clint nodded. “Well, I know I’m not going anywhere any time soon,” he said. “I’ve still got to get my heart put back together enough to be able to be out in public without having some sort of panic attack,” he said. “I just wish there was a way for me to be able to convince Tony of that.”

“I believe he knows, Sir,” JARVIS said. “Allow him the time to recover from the battle, let him speak first when he finally comes out of his rooms, and I believe you both will be right back where you were previously. Much of the problem tonight is merely fatigue. Mr. Stark never has slept well, and I have seen this before. He will feel better when he awakens again.”

“How long do you think that’s going to be, JARVIS?”

“A couple of days,” JARVIS said. “He will wake up long enough to get drinks and go to the bathroom, but he will not be truly awake for two or three days. Then he’ll return to napping for another six to eight months before he wants to truly sleep again.”

“Do you know why he doesn’t sleep, JARVIS?”

“His mind never shuts down. He cannot make it be quiet,” JARVIS said. “He thinks constantly, and the speed of the mind keeps him awake. This is the only way he knows to sleep. This is how it’s always been, and probably always will be.”

Clint nodded with a sigh. “That sucks,” he finally said.

“Indeed, Sir.”


	101. Chapter 101

Fury was waiting in his office when the rest of the team landed back on the Helicarrier. He knew it wouldn’t be long before he had Coulson, and possibly Sitwell, in the office to make the initial post-mission report. Fury wasn’t sure how he was going to handle the report because he couldn’t get the image of a very distressed Tony Stark out of his mind.

Ever since Coulson’s infidelities came to light, Fury had been watching the team closely and was shocked at the changes he saw in Tony Stark. Before, even with the Battle for New York, Fury thought that Stark was a self-centered jerk that cared only about himself and his company. A man that never saw the big picture, didn’t care what he did as long as something blew up or there was something he could make money from. A man that, honestly, Fury wouldn’t have around for a minute, even with the suit and tech that Stark had in his life. Then the mess happened and Fury started to see that there was so much depth that Tony kept hidden all the time. Fears, insecurities, and a heart that just wouldn’t stop. Fury was worried that Tony was nearer to a breakdown that Barton, and having two of his team out because of the same problem was not something that was acceptable.

“Sir?”

“Sit down, Coulson,” he said, not turning away from the window. “A successful mission, Coulson. The planet is safe once again, and that’s something I like saying.”

“We weren’t able to meet all of the mission objectives, Sir,” Coulson said. “The tech that was there was destroyed before any assessment could be made by SHIELD scientists.”

“I never wanted that tech evaluated by the people we employ here,” Fury said, still not turning around. “Where did I ever say that I wanted to hold onto that tech in the field until a science team could reach it?”

“It was implied, Sir.”

Fury finally turned and pinned Coulson with a glare. “Implied,” he said slowly. “I had two of my smartest people in the field, Coulson. One of them was tasked specifically with evaluating the tech that was held in that castle. That was his primary mission. Everything else around him was a bonus, but his job was to figure out if that tech could be useful to SHIELD.”

“I’m starting to feel like there was a mission brief that I missed, Sir,” Coulson said.

“Coulson, answer me one question,” Fury said. “Why do you hate Tony Stark so much?”

It was a rare thing to see Phil Coulson speechless, and Fury was generally the only one that could cause the condition. He finally nodded with a small sigh. “That’s what I thought,” he said.

“What, Sir?” Coulson asked.

“You think that Tony Stark has stolen your husband from you,” Fury replied, turning back to look at the window. “Because Stark has been there for Barton through every nightmare, fear, problem, or disaster since Barton found out you were sleeping with another man. I don’t know if you’re jealous, blind, or both, Agent, but you need to get your act together before I haul your ass down to the brig and let you cool off in there until you get your head back in the damn game. Am I understood?”

“Yes, Sir,” Coulson said.

Fury leaned over his desk. “I don’t think I am,” he said. “You chose wrong, Coulson. You made a choice that almost destroyed one of the best men I know and, instead of being a man about it and working to try and regain Barton’s trust, you’re lashing out at the one person that has done nothing but worry about the people on the team since this rift was brought to his attention. Now, that said, I never want to hear about you yelling or lecturing, or even talking to someone that did the right thing in the field. If I do, if I receive one more report that you have verbally attacked a member of your team for doing what is right then you are going to be assigned to the New York base with a toothbrush cleaning the toilets until you remember that people are allowed to think for themselves in the field. Do you understand that?”

“Yes, Sir,” Coulson said.

“You are dismissed, Agent, and the next thing I want to hear about you is that you have asked Barton to join you for breakfast,” Fury said. “If I hear you have tried to talk with Stark before he approaches you, I will not be happy with that report.”

Coulson nodded. “I understand, Sir,” he said.

“What the hell were you thinking out there, Agent?”

“I was thinking that SHIELD needed the tech, Sir,” Coulson said.

“No one needs any technology that will mess with time. That is the last thing anyone needs, and had I been in the field with the Avengers, I would have blown the damn thing up myself,” Fury said. “I don’t give a damn what good you think our science team could have put that technology towards, it would never have happened.”

“Understood, Sir,” Coulson said.

Fury stood up and, if possible, his glare intensified. “You need to get your head back in the game, Coulson, or it’s very likely you will not come back from a mission,” he said. “If I find out that you have allowed yourself to be killed in the field rather than following my orders to regain Barton’s trust, I will find a way into the afterlife and bring you back. You don’t get to die, Coulson. Not on my watch.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“And you lose the burr in your ass about Stark,” Fury said. “The only thing he’s doing is being a good friend. He has done nothing to impact your relationship with your husband.”

Coulson rubbed his face. “I know, Sir. I did that myself,” he said. “I think that Steve might finally understand that he has to move on, if that means anything.”

“If he can find happiness in this world then I am all for it,” Fury said. “You need to figure out what you can do to regain Barton’s trust before the pair of you go out in the field again. Now, get out of my office and I want your report on my desk in twelve hours.”

“Yes, Sir,” Coulson said. “I’ll stay here tonight to finish the report and return to the Tower in the morning.”

Fury waited until he was alone again before he turned back to the window. He wasn’t sure how he missed that Coulson’s feelings towards Stark were turning to hate, but now that he’d worked it out, he wasn’t going to let the damage continue. He grinned. JARVIS would probably be willing to help him out.


	102. Chapter 102

Steve didn’t like staying on the Helicarrier, but he had to make a report in the morning before the team returned to the Tower, and it was easier to stay for the night than it was to travel back and forth twice. That didn’t mean he would be able to sleep, but there was a smaller gym on the lower levels and he knew there were a couple of the special punching bags that SHIELD science made for him.

He was on his second one when he realized that he wasn’t alone in the gym any longer. Steve paused, caught the bag without thinking, and turned to find Agent Ward standing in the door. “You got a good punch,” Ward said with a grin. “Can’t sleep either, huh?”

“I can’t sleep unless I’m on the ground,” Steve said, turning back to the bag. “What are you doing up?”

“I’m still too keyed up from the mission to sleep,” Ward said, moving to sit where he wouldn’t be in danger, but close enough to talk. “That’s the first time in a long time I’ve been on a team during a mission and I really enjoyed working with you guys.”

“We were glad to have the help,” Steve said. “You fight well, Agent Ward. Did you have some training outside of SHIELD, or is it just what you’ve learned here?”

“I was a fighter as a kid, but it’s mainly what I’ve learned here,” Ward said with a grin. “Everyone knows your story, Cap. Do you always trust people so easily at your back or was today an exception?”

Steve stopped the bag with a sigh. “One thing I learned growing up was how to tell what a person was like deep inside,” he said. “Were they going to fight someone smaller than them? Were they a bully? What did they really care about? Since I went through the process to become who I am now, that ability’s only grown. I looked at my team and saw people that might become friends. Well, most of them. I was wrong about one and now there’s too many problems for me to think that they’ll ever be my friend, let alone trust me out in the field again. When I looked at you and Agent May, I saw two loyal SHIELD agents who were there to help us with a battle. You both had the same goal I did, and were going to use the same techniques to get everyone through there. That’s why I was able to trust you both at my back like I did. I could see you wanted to keep the team alive too.”

Ward nodded. “I heard Agent Coulson talking with Stark at the end of the mission,” he said. “He didn’t sound too happy about something. Everything okay there?”

“I don’t know,” Steve said. “Maybe and maybe not. That’s mostly my fault too, and I don’t know how best to even try to fix it.”

“How is it your fault that the handler for the mission was upset with one of the team?”

“It’s a personal problem away from the field,” Steve said with a sigh. “I probably should have insisted that Tony stay with the team for the flight back rather than taking off on his own like he did, but he wouldn’t listen to me even if I tried. You met Iron Man, Agent Ward, not Tony Stark.”

“I didn’t realize there was a difference between the person and the title,” Ward said with a frown.

“With some of us there is and some there isn’t,” Steve said, finally sitting down next to the other man. “With me and Barton, we’re pretty much just as you see us whether we’re in the field or not. With Tony and Natasha, they’re different depending on what needs to be done, but one thing to remember with Natasha is that she can always kill you in two seconds, if she doesn’t, it means that you’re her friend. That can also change in two seconds, especially if you’re a threat to her friends.”

Ward shrugged. “May’s the same way, so I’m not too surprised by that one,” he said with a bit of a wry grin. “I’ve never met two women that are so alike and don’t know what to think about that.”

Steve snorted. “I’m not surprised that they’re friends and can fight so well together,” he said. “Together, those two could probably win a war on their own. I’m glad they’re on our side.”

“At least for now,” Ward said. “Do you want to go and get some coffee or something?”

“Sure,” Steve said. “Give me a few to shower and get dressed. What time is it, anyway?”

“0330.”

“I have to report to Director Fury at six,” Steve said. “Give him my impressions of the team and the mission.”

“You’ll have to be awake to do that,” Ward said. “I’ve never had to face Director Fury directly, and I’m really thankful for that.”

Steve shrugged. “He’s not that bad once you realize that he could kill you at any second, and will start yelling if he doesn’t like something you say to him,” he said. “Knowing all that makes it a lot easier to give him reports.”

“I think I’ll leave that to the higher-ups,” Ward said. “I’ll stick to the missions. I’ll wait for you here.”

“Be right back then,” Steve said.  
*~*

JARVIS was reading a book when the phone to the Tower rang. He checked the ID to see who was calling before he answered. “Director Fury, Sir, I am afraid that Mr. Stark is asleep for the night and has requested not to be disturbed until he awakens on his own.”

“That’s fine, JARVIS, I was actually calling to talk to you,” Fury said. “I was wondering if you would be able to help me out with a small problem I see developing.”

“I will be happy to offer what assistance I can, Sir, but if it is something that will be in direct violation of my programming, then I fear I will not be able to help you without permission from Mr. Stark.”

“That’s fine, JARVIS, and this isn’t anything that could come close to going against your programming. I just need you to keep an eye on Coulson for me whenever he’s around Stark,” Fury said. “I think, based on what I’m seeing, that Coulson is allowing his jealousy towards Stark to turn to hate, and I’ll be damned if I let anyone hurt Stark or Barton like this.”

“May I ask when your feelings changed, Sir?” JARVIS asked.

Fury snorted. “I don’t know, JARVIS,” he said. “Hell, you know how I feel about having you around, but you’re the only one I can ask for help with this. The Widow would put Coulson back in medical, Barton is still putting himself back together, and I sure as hell don’t want to risk the Hulk getting involved in these problems. There’s no one else I can ask for help.”

“I’m honored at your faith in me, Sir,” JARVIS said dryly.

“Don’t you sass me you damn computer,” Fury said, but there was humor in his tone. “I’m worried about both Clint and Tony, and I’m scared that Coulson is going to say or do the wrong thing and someone is going to end up dead because of it.”

“I shall monitor the situation closely for you, Sir,” JARVIS said. “I believe that Mr. Stark plans to come and see you once he is awake again. It could be at the end of the week, depending on how long he sleeps this time around.”

“How is he, JARVIS?”

“He is feeling extremely conflicted at the moment, but he will be fine, Sir,” JARVIS said. “Just as he is always fine.”

“I don’t want him fine, I want him happy and working with his team,” Fury said. “I’ve watched the feeds from the battle yesterday. He was at least relaxed there, and working with his team. That’s how I want to see both him and Barton again, JARVIS.”

“You do realize that could well be impossible, don’t you, Sir?”

“Yeah, I realize that,” Fury said. “I also realize it’s possible the strain could break either of them. I’m going to start pushing a little more with Barton. Get him teaching more. He needs to interact with more people and get his ass back into agent mode. I’m not going to hurt him, I’ve done this before, but I need to know someone I can trust is watching over him when he’s not on base, and that’s where you come in.”

“I shall do my best, Sir,” JARVIS said. “And what of Mr. Stark?”

“I think we need to just turn him loose in his lab for a couple of weeks and see how he comes out,” Fury said. “We’ve still got a long way to go with this, JARVIS, but I think that we can make it to the end with a little hard work, and eyes where people least expect them.”

If JARVIS had a head, he would have nodded. “Indeed, Sir,” he agreed.


	103. Chapter 103

Steve was outside the Director’s office and knocked on the door promptly at 0600. He wasn’t sure how his report was going to go, but he’d never backed down from a challenge in his life.

“Enter.”

“Sir,” Steve said, shutting the door behind himself. “I’m here to report on the mission yesterday.”

“Sit, soldier, and tell me what you saw,” Fury said, not turning around from the window. The sun was coming up and he liked to watch the sunrise from the air.

“I saw a team that worked well together to achieve the objective set by your office, Sir,” Steve said. “I would request that Agents Ward and May be considered for positions with the Avengers for other missions where their particular skillsets will be an advantage. They joined us fluidly, and that helped both me as the commander, and the team itself, with our mission.”

Fury nodded. “What about Stark?” he asked. “Tell me about his performance in the field.”

“Stark did what he always does, Sir,” Steve said. “He acted on his own, but both he and JARVIS had eyes on the team the whole time, and he was making callouts to the team. I took his unpredictability into account this time, and I think it helped me to make better decisions in the field and on the fly.”

“And what about Barton?”

“He only spoke to Stark, but Stark relayed relevant information to the team quickly,” Steve said. “We needed a set of eyes up high, none of the shooters you sent along were as good as Barton in the field, Sir. I know that I’m the direct cause of a lot of these problems, but will Barton be joining us in the field again?”

“He will,” Fury said. “One thing you have to remember about Agent Barton is that he has proven time and again that he can work with anyone. He might hate them to their very core, but he is professional enough to work with anyone in the field.”

Steve sighed. “I won’t push when we’re not on a mission, Sir,” he said.

“Tell me about the rest of the team.”

“The Hulk was the same as ever. He seemed to enjoy hitting the walls to see how many of the enemy he could cause to fall over at once,” Steve said. “Both Natasha and Agent May were moving almost too fast for me to follow for most of the battle, but the enemy didn’t get up again once they were finished with them. Agent Ward’s fighting style meshed well with my own, and I was happy to have him at my back.”

Fury nodded again. “So you would say that this is a successful mission, Captain?”

“I would, Sir, yes.”

“What would you say if I told you that one of the handlers didn’t agree with your assessment?”

“Which one, Sir?”

“That’s not important. The handler came to me and told me that he didn’t believe every objective for the mission had been met,” Fury said. “Do you think all the objectives were met, Captain?”

“Yes, Sir, I do,” Steve said. “We might not have come home with as much technology as we were expecting to get, but Stark made the correct call when he destroyed that machine inside the castle. It looked too much like one of the machines I saw back in the War. That one tore people apart, Sir, but I know better than to think anyone can mess with time. No matter how much I might wish it was possible.”

“You need to stop looking to the past and start looking towards your future, soldier,” Fury said. “We have more tech from this mission than people realize, and the team came home in one piece. I consider that a very successful mission.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“How would you feel about training with Agent Ward for a couple of weeks?” Fury asked. “At one of the bases over in Europe. I think there’s a few things he can teach you, and a lot you can teach him.”

“If that’s where you want me, Sir, then I’ll go,” Steve said. “What about the Avengers?”

“There’s fast jets there too,” Fury said, finally turning around. “We’ll be able to get you where you need to be if the Avengers are called on to assemble. Consider yourself graduated from training with Sitwell, and this is the next part of your training.”

Steve nodded. “Whatever you need me to do, Sir,” he said. “I’ve realized a lot since you had me working with Agent Sitwell, Sir, and I, well, I wish I could talk with Barton.”

“Finish your training with Ward and then see what Barton has to say,” Fury said. “Seems to me you told him last time that you needed to talk. Try asking and see what happens.”

“Yes, Sir,” Steve said. “Am I leaving immediately?”

“You are. Report to the jet at point four,” Fury said. “Agent Ward will be meeting you there. I want good reports from these training sessions, Captain. You are one of my team leaders, and I need to know that I can trust you to do the right thing both in the field and at home.”

“You can, Sir.”

“Forgive me if I don’t believe you immediately,” Fury said.

“I understand, Sir. I’ll do everything I can to show you that I can be trusted again,” Steve said. “Will you tell Natasha where I am, please? She can tell the team if they ask about me.”

“I will.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

Fury stood and watched as the door shut behind the young man. He sighed. It was probably too little too late, but somehow Steve Rogers was back to being Captain America, the man everyone remembered from the War. Somehow, Fury thought, Steve wasn’t the one that he wanted back to normal. Fury wanted his best archer back, and still didn’t know how that was going to happen.


	104. Chapter 104

“Sir, Agent Coulson wonders if you would like to join him for breakfast,” JARVIS said the next morning.

Barton looked over towards the closed door to the bedroom. “Don’t suppose Tony’s up, is he, JARVIS?”

“No, Sir, he’s not and does not look like he will be for some time,” JARVIS replied. “You do not need to worry about him right now. I have seen this many times before, and he will wake up when he is ready and not before.”

“Wish I could talk to him about the mission yesterday,” Clint said. “What the hell, tell Coulson I’ll be down in a couple.”

“Yes, Sir,” JARVIS said.

Barton wasn’t too sure what to think about Tony locking himself away so suddenly, but if JARVIS wasn’t worried, then there was only so much concern Barton could feel without starting to also feel very silly. He pulled on a t-shirt and headed towards the elevator. “Katie, come.”

Coulson was in the kitchen putting plates together when he heard the elevator ding. He had no idea what they would talk about that morning, but really hoped that his actions towards Tony wouldn’t come up. Coulson knew he needed to figure out what the hell was going on inside his own head, but he didn’t know how to manage the new emotions that seemed to flood his body any time he saw Tony. It also didn’t seem to matter what Tony was doing, the same emotions filled him up and Coulson found himself lashing out without thought. He wasn’t sure why, but it worried him that he suddenly didn’t seem to have control of his mouth.

“Morning,” Barton said from the doorway.

“Good morning, Clint,” Coulson said with a smile. “Did you sleep okay last night?”

“Well enough,” Barton said, shrugging. He took the plate that was held out and followed Coulson over to the table. “Katie, down. I haven’t had a chance to talk with anyone about the mission yesterday. How’d it go from your end of things?”

“It went really well. Melinda and Agent Ward fit in seamlessly with the Avengers and helped more than I was expecting them to,” Coulson said. “If only because I wasn’t sure what good fighters were going to be against invisible foe. Tony managed to get the cloaking fields down for us though, and then it was pretty much over.”

Barton nodded. “Does SHIELD have any idea who Randy was working for, if anyone?” he asked. “It seems like he had machines that a lot of baddies would be drooling over.”

“We believe, at this time anyway, that he was working on his own,” Coulson said. “It’s always possible that he was planning to have some sort of auction for his technology among known evil masterminds, but should that have happened, SHIELD would have heard about it and we would have gone in and taken care of things first.”

“Yeah, right up to the point that we wouldn’t know where they were or see them to fight,” Barton said. “Us winning that battle yesterday is all down to Tony figuring out the tech and how to disable it. This stuff is so good that my eyes can’t even see it, Coulson. JARVIS can’t sense it either. A mission, other than what we did yesterday, would have ended up as a blood-bath for SHIELD.”

Coulson nodded. “It’s possible that Fury might have authorized us to use a little more force should we have not had Tony’s help for the mission,” he said. “It’s all hypothetical right now because we did have Tony’s help with the tech and we were able to employ fighters to defeat the enemy.”

“I wonder how you can say that with a straight face,” Barton said.

A small flutter of panic went through Coulson’s body at Barton’s words. He didn’t think that the archer knew about the yelling the day before, but it was always possible the feed between the suit and the Tower had been active. “What do you mean?” he asked.

“No need for you to get jumpy on me, Coulson,” Barton said. “I only meant that Fury isn’t going to let us drop a nuke in the middle of a foreign country for any reason. The man might be insane, but he isn’t going to start a war, even if it is to end an evil-overlord meeting.”

“I wasn’t thinking about anything like that, Clint,” Coulson said with a small smile. “I meant some of the larger weapons developed since the Battle of New York. We had a fair idea where the castle was, so we would have at least had a target in mind when we landed.”

“I still think that it would have been deadly for SHIELD,” Barton said. “But hey, I’m only the sniper, not a handler. What do I know?”

“Don’t discount yourself so quickly, Clint,” Coulson said. “You have a genius for tactics that people are always underestimating. It makes our missions easier because people don’t think the same way you do, but the solutions you come up with are pieces of art.”

Barton snorted. “Anyone could do the same if they just worked at it,” he said. He glanced at his watch. “I’m due on base in an hour. Fury’s put me on teaching rotation for the next few weeks.”

“I’ll make sure to have the tissues in the usual places then,” Coulson said.

“Thanks for breakfast. See you later. Katie, come.”

Coulson watched the other man leave and sighed. The conversation about work had been fine, but he knew as well as anyone that Barton could talk about or work with people he wanted to shoot on principle. Having a conversation like they did that morning didn’t mean a thing other than Barton was willing to work with him again. His other actions, though, showed that no trust was rebuilt between them, other than he trusted Coulson not to poison or drug him. “What do I do, JARVIS?” he finally asked.

“What do you mean, Sir?”

“Clint. What else can I do to help show him that he can trust me again?”

“I believe you can only continue on as you have been and employ patience while you do,” JARVIS said. “You, yourself, have said that trust did not happen immediately between the pair of you last time. Why should this time be any different?”

“I guess I hoped it would be because he knows me now,” Coulson admitted.

“Does he though, Sir?”

“What?”

“The Agent Coulson that Clint knew would not have slept with another man for any reason,” JARVIS pointed out. “So now he wonders if he knows you at all. Trust, when it comes, will likely come as it did last time.”

“Great,” Coulson sighed, standing up to go clean the kitchen.


	105. Chapter 105

Barton didn’t mind teaching tactics. It was something that could only be taught to a point before natural talent would either take over or the students would be moved to different classes. He also didn’t mind teaching any sort of weapons or self-defense, but he drew the line at scenario training. He hated the whole idea of ‘what if’ because he’d lived with that question circling through his head for too many years to be comfortable telling anyone that they needed to start thinking that way.

So, of course, that was the class Fury had him start the day with. Barton endured the two hours with the baby agents, thinking up clever ways of killing the Director while the kids were talking about different ways to handle the missions used for the class. He only noticed someone came into the room because the class went silent.

“Barton.”

“Director, Sir?”

“It seems to me that your mind isn’t on your class where it should be, Barton,” Fury said.

“Dismissed,” Barton said, trying not to smile as the kids fled the room. “None of them are going to make it in tactics, Sir.”

“Are you certain of that?”

Barton nodded. “Yes, Sir,” he said. “Their idea to end mission FTR436BHT was to drop missiles on the building.”

“Did you explain to them that SHIELD will not use techniques like that for any reason, especially on cases where we need to actually talk to people at the end?” Fury asked.

“Yes, Sir.”

“And?”

“They all seemed convinced that the missiles wouldn’t have killed everyone on the ground,” Barton said. “I wish I’d had a camera to record the looks on every face when I told them that the building was full of radioactive wastes and bombs.”

“It’s getting harder and harder to find good tacticians these days,” Fury said with a sigh. “It makes me wonder if anyone thinks for themselves anymore.”

“Given the higher level of technology in the general population, I would have to say that’s a negative, Sir,” Barton said. “What’s the new expression? We have smart phones and stupid people?”

Fury almost smiled. “If that is true, Barton, then the world is in sad shape,” he said. “Tell me something, did you see Coulson this morning?”

“Yes, Sir. We had breakfast together before I came to base,” Barton said. “We talked about the mission abroad a little and then I had to run or I would have been late for my first class this morning.”

“I won’t push, Barton, but do you feel like there might be a little trust coming back into your relationship with Coulson?” Fury asked.

“He pointed out, correctly, that there was still a little there from the beginning,” Barton replied with a small sigh. “I still can’t have him walk behind me, but I’ll eat food he’s made without me in the kitchen. I can handle being alone with him, but it’s awkward. It’s like he’s still hiding something from me, Sir, and I don’t know what it is.”

“Will you be able to work with him in the field once you’re cleared for full duty?”

Barton nodded. “Yes, Sir,” he said. “You already knew that though.”

“I did, but I wanted to hear you say it, Barton,” Fury said. “As to what Coulson’s hiding, I’ll see if I can get him to tell me. A man is allowed secrets, but I think you and I both agree that there are some secrets that should never come into being.”

“Yes, Sir,” Barton said. “I’m sorry that you ended up in the middle of my personal problems, Sir. I did my best to keep my problems to myself.”

“I’m your handler, Barton. You can come and talk to me about anything you need to,” Fury said.

“You’re also the Director for SHIELD, Sir, and I know how valuable your time is,” Barton said. “I do appreciate you not handing me off to someone else though.”

“No one else can handle you, Barton,” Fury said with a snort. “Seems that your way of thinking in the field makes people cry. Now then, go shoot something for a while. I’ll see what else needs to be done around here.”

“I draw the line at windows, Sir.”

Fury actually snarled at that. Barton managed a grin and salute before heading off down the hall. Fury shook his head and turned to go back to his office. He didn’t have to be a genius to figure out that Barton was wondering if Coulson was hiding someone new in his bed. Fury really didn’t want to have to lecture Coulson again, especially given his reactions to the last lecture, but he thought it might be okay to drop a word into Coulson’s ear that making any attempt to hide anything just then was a bad idea and would only make it harder for him to get Barton to trust him again.


	106. Chapter 106

Tony woke up, rolled onto his back, and groaned. “What day is it, J?” he asked.

“Saturday, Sir,” JARVIS replied. “You have been asleep approximately four point five days. How do you feel?”

“Like I’ve been run over by something,” Tony said. “Start up the shower for me, JARVIS. What’s been going on while I’ve been asleep?”

“Captain Rogers has been sent to Europe for additional training with Agent Ward,” JARVIS replied. “Clint has been cleared for a full return to the field and celebrated that news by destroying the target range at SHIELD. The Director was not pleased to have to replace so many targets, but I believe he is pleased to see Clint acting more like himself.”

“Fury has to know that the real Clint is hiding behind the Hawkeye face,” Tony said, stretching. “What else, J?”

“Agent Coulson and Clint have managed to have at least one meal a day together, though it is difficult to say if trust is returning to their relationship,” JARVIS said. “Agent Coulson has also had several long talks with Director Fury about something neither of them will tell me the details on and it seems as though Agent Coulson is watching Clint more than he was before.”

“Bruce and Natasha?” Tony asked, stepping into the water with a yelp. JARVIS always made it too hot when he was just up from a sleeping binge.

“Both fine and working on projects of their own,” JARVIS said. “The Director has asked that you report to him as soon as is convenient for you to speak about hiring you to break down and detail the technology from the castle. I believe he also wishes to speak with you about a few more personal matters, but he has not told me such.”

Tony sighed and stuck his head under the water for a minute. He still needed to talk to someone about the last mission and Fury was the best bet. He just didn’t want to cause more drama in their lives. “All right,” he said, moving back and reaching for the shampoo, “call Fury and let him know I’m up and moving. I’ll be there as soon as I’m clean and have managed to eat something. Who else is in the Tower right now?”

“No one, at the moment,” JARVIS said. “Clint, Natasha, and Agent Coulson are all at SHIELD working on projects or teaching classes. Captain Rogers will not be home for another two weeks, and Bruce went for a run in the park.”

“It’ll make getting out of here easier, at least,” Tony said. “Get the suit ready for me, too, J. I’m not taking the car.”

“Yes, Sir.”  
*~* 

It wasn’t Tony’s nature to hide away, but he was still feeling raw and betrayed from the last battle he’d been in before he locked himself in his room to sleep for as long as possible. Even with how deeply his fear of being left alone ran, he was relieved when he was able to eat and leave the Tower without running into anyone on his team. He suited up and took off, heading for the Helicarrier.

“The Director says to come directly to the bridge when you land, Sir,” JARVIS reported a couple of minutes into the flight.

“What’s going on, J?”

“Nothing that is cause for concern,” JARVIS replied. “I have told him that you do not wish to see anyone from the team, and he has promised there is no one there to cause you any concern. It is just that he’s having to oversee a few repairs to the Helicarrier, and the bridge is the easiest place for him to do so.”

Tony sighed. “I feel like I’m being paranoid, JARVIS,” he said. “If this is what being an adult is like, then forget it. I’ll happily hide away with my tech for the rest of my lift and not have to worry about anyone being out to get me.”

“Other than those that naturally target you,” JARVIS said dryly.

“Most people wouldn’t have felt the need to point that out, J,” Tony said. “Is there anything I need to be worrying about?”

“Nothing I am aware of, Sir,” JARVIS said. “I believe that Clint will be relieved to know that you are awake and functioning again. He has been concerned since you fell asleep, no matter how much I try to reassure him that you are fine.”

“I do feel bad taking away one of his supports, but it sounds like it’s gotten him and Agent talking again, even if it’s just about work,” Tony said with a sigh. “I just wonder if there’s any chance there, J.”

“Agent Coulson wishes for there to be, Sir. I do not know if Clint would be able to trust his husband so deeply again,” JARVIS said. “However, it might be possible given enough time for true healing and conversation to occur.”

“Coulson would have some work ahead of him though. I mean, I don’t know what it’s like to have someone’s trust and lose it, no one’s ever been crazy enough to trust me for anything,” Tony said. “But from talking with Clint, knowing his past and everything he’s been through, there’s going to be some old fears hovering front of his mind, and he might not have the control he wants to have over them for a long time.”

“It seems to me that he has been less Clint while you have been asleep and more Hawkeye,” JARVIS said. “The controllers on the Helicarrier have you on radar and you have landing permission, Sir.”

“Thanks, J. Hawkeye is how Clint hides, so it doesn’t surprise me a bit that he’s doing it again,” Tony said, heading for the runway area he normally used as a landing pad. “I think we’ll be seeing more of our Hawk and less of our friend when we’re in the common areas for a long time.”

“He has been thinking of moving to his own floor, Sir,” JARVIS said. “He just worries that you would think he is abandoning you.”

“I’ll talk to him. Suit off, J.”

“Sir.”

Tony waited until the suit was folded into its carry-case before he picked it up and headed into the Helicarrier. He wasn’t sure what all Fury wanted to talk with him about, but he wouldn’t be deterred from talking about the last callout and the results.


	107. Chapter 107

Tony walked through the halls without looking at anyone. He didn’t care what anyone stationed on the Helicarrier thought of him, he was there for one reason, and that was to talk with Fury. The bridge, when he arrived, was its usual quiet busy, and the Director was at his station looking at a couple of monitors. Tony went up to join him. “Nick.”

“Welcome back, Stark,” Fury said, glancing at him. “Come with me to my office, we have a couple of things to talk about, starting with you looking over the tech from the castle and figuring out how best to turn it to SHIELD’s benefit.”

“Tech, yeah, no problem,” Tony said, following Fury back out and down a different set of halls. “Shouldn’t be too hard to reverse engineer those guns and make up a set of plans you can work off to upgrade the Helicarrier a little pending the next huge battle you want to take her into.”

“I’ll admit that I’m a little more curious what good you can put that cloaking tech to,” Fury said. He unlocked the door to his office and stalked inside and around behind the desk. “If it really is good enough that Hawkeye and the Hulk can’t see it, then I think it’s possible we could be looking at a way to save a few lives.”

Tony shut the door behind them, put his suit down next to a chair, and sat down. “I’ll be honest with you, Nick; I’m still not sure I found all the bugs in that cloaking tech, and I’m not thrilled about turning it loose for agents to use until I’m sure that I know it’s not going to blow up on the agents using it in the field. Randy is twisted and I’m not convinced that he doesn’t have landmines set up deep in all of his creations.”

“That’s what we have you for,” Fury said, leaning back in his chair. “JARVIS told me that you were asleep every time I called to talk with you, Tony. Are you okay?”

“I want to say yes. I want to lie and pretend that everything is just fine,” Tony said. 

“Don’t,” Fury said softly.

“Right. Honesty. Still doing that,” Tony said. “I knew what I was doing in that last battle, Nick. I knew why I was there and it was to defeat the tech so we could get things shut down. I’m good at doing that, I’m good with tech and numbers and robots, but I’m not so good with people. I don’t understand them the way I understand my tech, and I don’t understand why Coulson was so pissed off at the end of the whole battle. Hell, it wasn’t even a battle. It was a skirmish. A minor fight.”

Fury nodded slowly. “Agent Coulson misunderstood my directions for that battle,” he said. “He believed that all pieces of tech, no matter what their purpose, were to be secured and brought back for our people to examine. Coulson was out of line when he jumped you at the end of that mission, and I have made certain that he understands that, Tony.”

“I can handle people yelling at me,” Tony said, looking up. “I’m used to people yelling at me, and mostly I deserve it because I’ve screwed up or made a mistake or did something really wrong. I can handle all of that because I deserve it, but I’ve never been yelled at when I did something right, and his yelling at me like that made me wonder if I did do the right thing for a brief minute. I don’t like feeling doubt in myself, Nick.”

“No one does, Tony, and that’s a perfectly normal, human reaction for you to have,” Fury said. “No one deserves to be yelled at for any reason, even if they screw up. That’s not to say that it doesn’t happen, but no one should ever be made to questions their actions like you were. Can you believe me when I tell you that it will not happen again?”

“I’d like to,” Tony said. “Seriously, I would, but you’re a known liar, Nick, and I still don’t know how to tell when you’re telling someone the truth and when you’re lying to them.”

“When I’m in here, being Nick, like I am now, then I don’t lie,” Fury said. He held up a hand, “I know, it’s possible that I’m lying about that, but at some point, Tony, you’re going to have to ask yourself if you can take a chance and believe me when I tell you something. Out there, when I have to be the director of this whole damn mess, then I’ll use whatever weapons I have to get the job done. I try to never hurt my friends, but there are times when I have in the past because it got things done in a way that hurt fewer people.”

Tony nodded. “I guess I feel a bit like Barton must right now,” he said. “It’s hard to trust anyone right now, no matter how much I’ve been trying to keep everyone together at the Tower.”

“Trust is hard.” Fury handed over a folder. “Tony, I don’t think you remember me, but I was a friend of Edwin’s and Peggy’s. I was there frequently when you were a child and I tried to stop Howard whenever I could. I hate that I wasn’t able to do more, and I probably should have told you about all of this sooner, but didn’t think you would believe me if I did. Take a look through that folder and let me know if you have any questions, or if you want to talk.”

“Why tell me now?” Tony asked, tucking the folder away to look at when he was alone.

“Because I think you need to know that you have friends that care about you for who you are, not what you can do for them,” Fury said. “I’m not always going to be able to be Nick for you, Tony, but I’m telling you right now that I will always be there watching your back. I guess the best way to phrase it is that, if you were a SHIELD asset, I’d be your handler. Now then, let’s talk about the tech and what you think you need to be doing.”


	108. Chapter 108

Barton got back to the Tower a little after five in the evening and went to his floor rather than up to Tony’s to shower and change. He didn’t know how to tell Tony that he was ready to try being on his own again, even if he really didn’t know how to be on his own, but he didn’t think it was fair to anyone for him to keep hiding away up on Tony’s sofa.

“JARVIS, am I remembering right that Tony said we could do whatever I wanted to my floor?” Barton asked, looking around at the white walls and empty rooms.

“You are, Clint,” JARVIS replied. “All you have to do is let him know what it is you want done and he will ensure that it is done quickly and to the highest of standards.”

“The walls have to be painted. I hate white. It’s too plain and blah and just wrong,” Clint said, heading for the large shower. “I don’t know what I want to do for furniture though.”

“Would you like to me to assemble a selection of pieces for you to look at when you have the time?” JARVIS asked. “I have access to an unlimited number of catalogues and web pages, and could put something together for you based on the items you selected for the floor you shared with Agent Coulson.”

“That’s not a lot, JARVIS,” Clint said. “Just a chair and some curtains. Hell, I don’t even know what I like.”

“In that case, Sir, I believe the best thing for you to do is speak with Mr. Stark about arranging a shopping day,” JARVIS said. “He is just back from a meeting with Director Fury and is heading towards the lab.”

Barton shook water off his head and looked up towards the ceiling. “You didn’t tell me he was awake.”

“You were teaching when he awoke,” JARVIS said. “Mr. Stark has been asked to work with the tech brought in from the castle to see if it is something SHIELD will be able to work with. I do not believe we will see him out of the lab for a while now.”

“Then I’ll go see him,” Clint said, turning off the water. “I gotta tell him that I’m moving down here, well, as soon as there’s a bed for me, anyway. Any suggestions on how best to do that without hurting him?”

“You will not hurt him by stating you wish to return to your own floor and space, Clint,” JARVIS said. “If anything, he will be happy for you that you have recovered to an extent that you feel comfortable being on your own again. The only way you would hurt him is if you were to leave the Tower for good.”

“Not planning on doing that any time soon,” Barton said. “J, do you think I should be giving Coulson more of a chance than I am?”

“I am uncertain how best to answer that, Clint, because I am not human and have no understanding of the emotions truly involved in what happened to you,” JARVIS said. “That said, however, I believe that you need to do what is best for you, and if being cautious and careful is what you need to do to be well, then you should continue on as you are.”

“Why can’t life have easy answers, JARVIS?”

“Because humans are complicated beings,” JARVIS said. “For life to have easy answers, humanity would have to be vastly different than it is and, I believe, that difference would be horrible.”

Clint grinned. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” he said. “Order some supper for me and Tony, would you, JARVIS? I’m going to go talk at him for a bit and see if there’s anything I can do to help him out.”

“Yes, Sir,” JARVIS said. “I shall send the food up when it arrives.”

“Thanks, JARVIS.” Barton left his floor and headed down towards the lab. The week without Tony around in the Tower had been weird. It was like a piece of the team was missing, which it was, even with JARVIS there to keep the place running. Barton didn’t think that Tony ever realized how important he was to the team, and didn’t know if there was any way to truly get him to understand that one. “You’re up,” he said, walking into the lab.

“Yep, up and already working again,” Tony said, not turning away from the monitor in front of him. “Fury wanted this done a week ago, but I wasn’t available, so he just asked me today. What do you think about this gun, Clint?”

“I think it’s big and nasty and should never have been built,” Barton said, walking up next to Tony. “That said, if we can turn it to our advantage, then it’s that much better for us. You’ve got what, this and the cloaks?”

“Yeah. Fury’s glad I put an end to the time ripping machine that was at the castle,” Tony said. He pulled up another screen. “I even wiped the readings the suit took of that machine because messing with time is bad and I don’t want to risk anyone getting ahold of information they shouldn’t have. That said, I’m not sure the cloaks are safe for agents to be using, but I’ve got plans to test them. Just have to get the secrets out of this gun first. What’s new with you, Birdy?”

Barton hopped up onto one of the spare tables. “Not a lot, just working to get my game back on the range,” he said. “I tried out that new bow you made me, Tony, and it shoots nice. I’m thinking it would be a good back-up in the field on missions where I’m not going to be in a stable place to shoot.”

“However you want to use it,” Tony said. “JARVIS, project the scan of the gun over in the middle of the room. I want a closer look at a couple of things. How are things going with Agent?”

“I don’t know,” Barton sighed. “I’m managing to eat with him and talk work, but that’s Hawkeye, not me at the table. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to truly trust him again, Tony.”

“Did you think you would be able to trust him back the first time around?” Tony asked.

“Nope. I didn’t trust anyone back then.”

“And then you did, which was probably a big surprise for you,” Tony said. “JARVIS, strip off the casing and let me see the inside of this thing. So it’s possible that one day you’ll wake up and realize that you trust him again. I’m not saying it’ll be the same level or type of trust you had before, but who knows, maybe it’ll be better this time around.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Clint said with a sigh. “Tony, I’ve been thinking it’s time for me to start working on my floor. JARVIS said to ask for your help, but I don’t want to take you away from your projects here.”

“The floor needs to be painted and cleaned before we start thinking about decorating in there anyway,” Tony said. “You know, to clear out the dust and things that build up from not being used. JARVIS, what is this right here? Is this a crystal? Analyze that for me.”

“Yes, Sir. Also, Sir, dinner is here.”

“I didn’t order dinner. I’m busy.”

“I did,” Clint said, hopping down to get the bags off the lift. “I’m starving and thought you would be too. But if you don’t want your cheeseburgers, then I’ll just eat them for you.”

Tony held a hand out. “Gimmie,” he said. “JARVIS, this is a crystal. I’m sure of it. We need to find out what it does. Is this power or does this create the bolts the gun fires?”

“Analysis is in progress, Sir,” JARVIS said.

“Wicked. What color do you want to paint your floor, Clint? Or colors, I guess. I’ll be honest, I don’t notice walls that much,” Tony said.

“I don’t know,” Clint said with a sigh. “I’ve never done this before, remember?”

“Okay then, we’ll just have to take it one step at a time then,” Tony said. “J, order us some color sample things. Get as many as you can so Clint has a good selection to pick from. Also put together corresponding throw and area rugs and artwork for each sample set. Once that’s done, then we can get to work on furniture and other decorations.”

“Thanks, Tony,” Barton said.

“No problem,” Tony said. He glanced over. “I think you’ll find it’s actually fun to put your own living space together, Birdy. You just need to be shown the first couple of steps.


	109. Chapter 109

"Okay, so the floor has been cleaned, the carpet cleaned, and the windows are cleaned," Tony said, stepping out of the elevator onto Clint's floor. "If you want carpet that isn't white, we can rip this out and put in whatever you want. That holds true for any other type of flooring as well, carpet is just a good basic so that's why we put it in place when we were rebuilding the Tower and working on the personal floors. First thing you need to decide on is paint color."

"How did I not realize exactly how big the space you're giving us actually is?" Barton asked, looking around the empty floor. "It's a lot of space, Tony."

"Once you get things in here, like furniture and shelves and stuff, it won't seem so big," Tony replied with a grin. "JARVIS has been looking at colors and decided it would be easier to project the colors up on the wall to see which one you like. I guess it's easier than you looking through tons and tons of colors and trying to decide which one you like best."

Barton shrugged and settled down on the carpet in the middle of the living area. "Do I start out here or in the bedroom?" he asked.

"We should probably start with the bedroom if you want to move back down here," Tony said. "JARVIS and Pepper tell me that bedrooms should be calm and soothing colors to help you settled down and not be stimulated when you're trying to get to sleep. My room is some shade of green that I let JARVIS pick because I didn't know what color was supposed to be soothing."

"How about it, JARVIS?" Barton asked, looking up towards the ceiling. "You want to pick the colors for my rooms?"

"I could, Sir, but I fear I do not know you as well as I do Mr. Stark," JARVIS said. "I can but offer suggestions for each room, and I am happy to do so."

"I think I need all the help I can get," Barton said. "I guess show me some shades of purple, JARVIS. It's my favorite color and it's soothing, isn't it?"

"I believe that it can be, yes, Sir," JARVIS said. He sorted through the various shades of purple in his database and projected ten on the wall opposite Barton and Tony. "These are the cooler and more relaxing shades of purple I have on file. This is not all conclusive for the color, and we can always find others should you not see the one you wish to use for your bedroom."

Barton looked over the ten shades up on the wall. "Get rid of one and seven, JARVIS," he said. "I don't like those at all. They're almost gray. What do you think, Tony?"

"Six and seven are more blue than they are purple, at least to my eye," Tony said, looking over the colors. "J, shoot three and ten on the wall across the room and see if you have any other shades off of them."

"Why those two?" Barton asked. 

"Turn around and look at them on the wall by themselves," Tony replied. "See, three has a hint of dark purple hidden within it, and ten looks a bit like the purple flowers I remember my mother growing when I was a kid. That's not a reason for you to pick them if you like one of the others better, but those two seem to be the most purple at the base to me."

"Do you have a darker version of three, JARVIS?" Barton asked.

"I believe so, one moment," JARVIS said.

"While he's working on that, what sort of bed do you want, Clint? Something fancy? Wood frame? How firm do you want your mattress?"

"God, Tony, my head is spinning just thinking about it. I've slept on dirt floors so I've never been too picky about my bed. Something that won't make me stiffen up after a hard mission but is hard enough that I'm not going to be stuck in the same position all night," Barton said. "Do I have to go shopping to find the mattress?"

"Sir, Agent Coulson is requesting access to your floor," JARVIS said.

"Yeah, let him down this one time," Barton said. "I don't want him just showing up with no warning."

"Understood, Sir."

"I could have different beds brought to the Tower for you to try out, Clint, but I don't know where we have the space to have that many mattresses laid out at one time," Tony said. "I hate shopping as much as you probably do, but you should never skimp on your furniture. That only leads to pain later on when things get a bit of age on them."

"The colors, and Agent Coulson, Sir."

Barton looked at the wall and nodded. "I like those two together," he said. "Should I do the darker color for the walls and the lighter for the trim, or the other way around?"

"Agent," Tony said. "What can we do for you?"

"I didn't know this floor was here," Coulson said, looking around. 

"It's the one I had planned for Birdy to have when everyone first moved in, but he had other ideas," Tony said. "Did you need us for something?"

"I was wondering if Clint would like to join me for a late lunch," Coulson said. 

"Could we do dinner instead?" Barton asked. "I'm trying to get my floor started so I can move back down here."

"Sure," Coulson said. "Do you need any help?"

"I'll let you know," Barton said. "JARVIS, dark or light?"

"It depends on if you want the room to feel large or small, Agent Barton," JARVIS said. He dedicated a sub-program to monitoring Coulson for Fury and continued on. "It is said that dark walls make the room feel smaller while lighter walls make the room feel bigger."

"Let's go with dark on the walls then," Barton said. "I like feeling like I'm in a nest and I don't mind space feeling close around me. So we'll use the lighter color for trim."

Tony nodded. "You could get some light-colored furniture and that would help open the room up a little as well," he said. "J, find me some stuff in blond wood."

"Yes, Sir," JARVIS said.

Coulson watched the easy interaction between the two and couldn't help but think about the time in his life when he had that with Barton, and what he lost through his stupidity. The worst part of the whole mess was that he didn't know if he would ever be able to regain the ease of interaction with his husband or not. With a bitten back sigh, he swallowed the harsh words that wanted to shoot out to hurt Tony and get him to leave Barton alone, and headed back to the elevator. He'd get JARVIS to help him prepare some of Barton's favorite foods for dinner that night.


	110. Chapter 110

"Would you like to talk about it, Agent Coulson?"

"About what, JARVIS?" Coulson asked when he was back on his own floor. He sank down on the sofa and looked around the space again. Part of him wanted to rearrange to get rid of the spaces on the shelves where Barton's things had been, but part of him didn't want to admit that Barton was never coming back again and would need the spaces.

"I am merely a computer program, but I believe that I have been in operation long enough to recognize when a man is feeling upset about something," JARVIS said. "I noticed that you were beginning to feel upset when you first walked out of the elevator and saw Clint and Mr. Stark working on picking out colors for Clint's new bedroom. While I do not understand why you feel upset, not truly understanding emotions, I believe it would do you some good to speak of it. You know that I will not share any secrets you tell me as such."

Coulson sighed. "I don't understand it myself, JARVIS. I honestly thought that I understood everything in my live, that everything was going along well enough and then Clint was taken, Loki stabbed me, those medications got into my system, and I threw away the best relationship I've ever had in my life," he said. "I know I don't deserve to get Clint back immediately, that I have to take time to show him that he can trust me again, but that doesn't mean that I can stop myself from feeling unreasonable emotions."

"That you recognize that you feel these emotions, and that they are unreasonable, means that you are attempting to understand what it is you're feeling, Agent Coulson," JARVIS said. "Additionally, you didn't say anything that would upset Clint while you were on the floor, and seemed able to get yourself away easily enough before the flood opened up and caused more problems than it solved."

"I hate myself right now, JARVIS," Coulson said. He shifted to lie down on the sofa and put an arm over his eyes. "I'm at fault for everything that's happened since I turned back to Steve when I should have shut the door on him and run back to my husband, and I hate myself for what I've done to Clint, to Tony, and everyone else around us. I look at Clint when he's sitting across from me at the table and I see Hawkeye. Then I'm just reminded that I drove him back into the Hawkeye shell when I'd sworn to be there for him no matter what happened in our lives. I hate that I was so stupid to cheat on Clint and lie to him and left him for dead when he was taken hostage. I just don't know what to do about any of it."

"Do you believe there is anything additional you can do?" JARVIS asked. "You are making an effort at every meal to talk about events with Clint. You are showing Mr. Stark that you will remain no matter what happens around us. You also appear to be making an effort to not say anything hurtful or harmful when you are out within the common areas of the Tower."

"What else can I do, JARVIS?" Coulson asked. "I mean, do you think there's anything else I can do to help prove myself to Clint?"

JARVIS would have sighed if he thought it would not be out of place. "You have said that it took two years for Clint to trust you the last time you were attempting to gain his trust," he said. "Given that you know his personal history so well, I do not see why it would be any different this time around. It likely shall feel like a lifetime to you, because you know that you have made vital and painful mistakes in your personal life, but it is possible that you will regain Clint's trust. I also you know that patience is your only true course through this trial that is facing you."

Coulson moved his arm and looked up at the ceiling. "How long will it be before Clint is living on his own floor?" he asked.

"That depends on how quickly he makes his selections about paints and furniture," JARVIS replied. "He is facing the same problems the other members of the team faced. I would project a week, should we not encounter any supply problems."

"He's never had to make these choices before," Coulson said. "I asked him to help me on this floor, but he just said that he liked whatever it was I liked. Clint's not going to know what to do."

"That is why I am aiding him in the process," JARVIS said. "As is Mr. Stark, though only as he can between projects. I had hoped that Clint would find a little more confidence in himself before this, but I believe that he will grow a little more sure of himself as we present him with options for him to choose from."

"He shouldn't have to be going through this, JARVIS."

"Do you not believe a chance for him to grow as an individual is a good thing?" JARVIS asked.

"Of course I do. I just wish that he didn't have to do it because I broke him in half."

"I believe we all wish that, Agent Coulson."


End file.
